Stan stuck a bumper sticker that was labelled 'Caution: Silver Fox at the wheel' on the back of the RV rather cheerfully.
He stood back and looked at his work proudly.
"Nice" he said to himself.
There was a pile of backpacks and sleeping bags a few feet away from him, and Soos was carrying more stuff towards the RV.
"And don't forget to pack bug spray!" Stan called out to him. "It's perfect for spraying in the face of hitchhikers."
Just then, Dipper walked out of the Mystery Shack, and caught sight of everything outside.
"Whoa, an RV and camping supplies?" he said. "Are you running from the law again?"
"Dude!" said Soos from the top of the RV. "It's the ultimate Oregon road trip adventure."
"More like revenge trip" Stan explained. "Every year, my tourist trap competitors prank the Mystery Shack."
"Did someone say the word 'prank'?" said Mara, as she suddenly appeared at Dipper's side at the sound of that word. There was an eager expression on her face, and she was wearing a wild, mischievous grin.
Stan looked at her countenance with approval and nodded.
"Yeah, last year, those hooligans duct taped Soos to the ceiling" he continued.
"That was a fun seventy eight hours" said Soos cheerfully.
"Well, no more!" said Stan, as he took a map out of his suit pocket and handed it to Dipper. "This year we've visiting every tourist trap along the Redwood highway, and I'm gonna prank back every single one."
Dipper looked at the map, which had red circles around several tourist trap areas where Stan was planning to prank them back, along with the words 'Revenge' and 'Get 'em!' written along the sides.
Mara smirked.
"Just let me go get my prank chest."
And with that, she hurried off back into the Mystery Shack, just as Mabel, Candy, and Grenda walked outside of it towards the RV. All three of them had a backpack on their shoulders.
"Bow wow!" exclaimed Grenda excitedly, as she put her fingers up at the sides of her head to make them look like dog ears. "Time to let the road dogs bark!"
"That is us!" said Candy, as she pointed at her and Grenda. "We are the road dogs."
"Thanks for letting me bring along Candy and Grenda for our road trip, Grunkle Stan" said Mabel.
"The more, the merrier" said Stan, as he took out two papers, and handed one each to Candy and Grenda. "Just sign these non-disclosure agreements."
Candy and Grenda started to read over the forms as they climbed up into the RV.
"None of your parents are lawyers, right?" asked Stan.
Just then, Mara came out of the Mystery Shack again, and she was struggling to pull along a huge chest that was even bigger than her.
She dragged it all the way to the front of the RV, and finally stopped to wipe the sweat off her brow.
Everyone stared at her and the rather large chest awkwardly.
"Too much?" she asked.
The responsive silence confirmed it.
Mara frowned.
"Fine, I'll bring the portable prank case."
She opened the chest, and brought out a smaller box that was about the size of a briefcase, and tossed it up to Soos, who tied it to the top of the RV along with the rest of the luggage.
He then jumped back down onto the ground, where Dipper was just walking up with the map in his hands.
"What do you say, dude?" Soos asked. "You coming?"
"I already went through the trouble of packing all your stuff" said Mabel.
She then picked up an old shoebox from the mountain of luggage next to her that was labelled 'DO NOT TOUCH!'
"Even the stuff you kept in that secret box under the bed."
Suddenly, the box slipped out of her hands, and fell onto the ground, the contents spilling out all over.
"Whoa!"
They were all pictures of Wendy, in a variety of settings and wearing several different hats. There was even one photo of her and Dipper together.
Mara rolled her eyes.
"More Wendy pictures? I thought I helped you throw out the last of them."
Mabel sighed in annoyance.
"What's that?"
Dipper was scrambling on the ground to gather all the scattered photos.
"Uh, nothing!" he said hurriedly, with wide eyes. "Just Wendy stuff...from old times."
Soos, Mabel, and Mara all groaned.
"Bro, I thought you were finally past all this!" said Mabel.
"Ugh, I know, I know!" Dipper sighed, as he lightly punched his forehead. "I know she's not interested, and I know it's over, but how do you just turn off the way you feel about someone?"
"Two words, Dipper..." said Mabel.
"...anti-love device" completed Mara.
Mabel's eyes widened at that.
"I was going to say move on!" she said to her sister.
The correction dawned on Mara's face.
"Ohhhhhhh, that makes so much more sense" she said, as if she had no clue what Mabel had actually meant before she said it out loud.
"Yeah, dude, and a road trip is the perfect place to meet new people" said Soos cheerfully.
Dipper looked down at the photos of Wendy in his hands, and then at the folded up map behind it which said 'Rediscover yourself on the open road.'
There was a photo of a man at the wheel of a car with his arm around a woman.
Dipper looked up at the RV hopefully.
They were now finally driving out of Gravity Falls in the RV.
Stan was at the wheel, and Soos's head was out the window as he stuck out his tongue similarly to a dog.
Meanwhile, the five kids were all sitting at a table further inside the RV.
Candy and Grenda were sitting at a small booth on one side, and the triplets were sitting in the booth opposite of them.
"Man, RVs are amazing!" said Grenda, as she slapped both palms against the tabletop surface. "I can't believe we're sitting at a table, in a moving vehicle!"
Candy was reading the pamphlets that had come with the RV.
"Ooh! Informational travel pamphlets!" she said, as she took up another brochure and started to rub them against her face. "I want to read them all, and gain their travel knowledge!"
"Kid, those useless pamphlets have never helped a single person" said Stan, who was still driving the vehicle.
Candy's eyes narrowed at him.
"The only wrinkly old travel guide you need is me" Stan continued. "Now look alive. We're coming up on an attraction run by the most black-hearted proprietor in all of Oregon!"
They drove right towards a sign with a large-eyed old woman on it that said 'Granny Sweetkin's yarn ball: world's biggest!'
"Don't let the face fool you. This woman lit my car on fire on two nonconsecutive occasions" Stan said, as he parked the RV in front of the attraction.
The five kids were now standing in front of the world's largest ball of yarn, and they were staring at it with awe.
"Whoa!" they all said.
"I'm going in, girls!" said Mabel, and with that she leapt into the ball of yarn.
Candy and Grenda laughed as leapt into the ball of yarn after her, and Mara stayed behind because she didn't like feeling closed in.
Because it felt like they didn't really need her currently, she decided to go and buy some ice cream while she waited.
Mara walked towards the ice cream line, and was about to step in line, when suddenly, some shoved her out of the way.
She turned to see a girl, who looked to be about her own age, with tan skin and dark hair that hung down past her shoulders. She was wearing a flowery pink jumper, and pink make up to go with it. Granted, she was also a little bit taller than her as well, though Mara was quite used to that.
"Ugh, out of the way, wretch" said a girl with a snobbish tone. "Beautiful people first."
"I don't see any beautiful people around here" said Mara, as she mockingly put a hand over her eyes in a searching way. "They must be somewhere behind you."
The girl's eyes widened in outrage.
She turned on her, looking down on Mara in an attempt to try and intimidate her.
"What did you just say to me?" she exclaimed.
Even though she was rather small, Mara puffed her chest upward and stood her ground, refusing to be intimidated by some valley girl.
"Oh, you want me to say that in a way you'll actually understand?" she said acerbically.
The girl's eyes narrowed at her.
"You. Take. That. Back" she said with a low tone.
Mara's eyes narrowed back at her.
"Make me, dollface."
And with that, Mara lunged upwards and was about to attack the girl, when suddenly Dipper's arms wrapped around her, holding her back before a fight could erupt.
"LET ME AT HER!" Mara screamed in outrage, as she tried to fight against her brother.
"Do you have to start a fight everywhere you go?" hissed Dipper, as he struggled to contain his sister.
"That twerp shoved me out of the way" said Mara between gritted teeth. "I'm simply giving her what she deserves."
"Is that little girl yours?" said the girl with her snobbish tone again.
Dipper seemed to have noticed the girl for the first time. His entire face blushed, before he finally let go of Mara.
He walked up to the girl, one hand in his vest pocket, and the other scratching the back of his neck.
"I'm so sorry about my sister" he apologized.
It was then that he realized he had no idea what to say. The girl was just staring at him with a bored gaze.
"So, uh...come here often?" he asked anxiously.
"No, I'm a tourist" she said pompously, putting a hand on her hip and turning away from him.
Dipper laughed nervously.
"You're funny" he said. "And cute."
She turned back around towards him.
"I mean, not cute!" Dipper said hurriedly.
The girl glared at him.
This was going terribly.
"I mean, you're not not cute" he said, before turning around and wiping his sweating brow.
"Whoo. Let me start over. My name is Dopper."
The girl only walked turned her nose up at him, and walked away.
Dipper bent over, and sighed sadly.
How was he supposed to do this?
Mara slung her arm around his shoulders in what was supposed to be a comforting manner.
"Thanks for holding me back, bro. You know, before I made a scene and ruined the entire prank" she said. "And just forget about her. She was clearly no good for you anyways."
Dipper looked down at the ground, and sighed once again.
Or maybe he was just really bad at flirting.
Suddenly, his walkie talkie in his vest pocket went off.
"Dipper, Mara, hup to!" said Stan's voice. "This ball of yarn ain't gonna prank itself!"
The two of them ran over towards the others, Mara going towards the yarn ball, and Dipper going towards the RV.
She held out her hand, and Mabel's arm placed the end of the yarn into her palm. Her hand then gave a thumbs up, and Mara ran over towards the RV, pulling the string along with her.
She handed the end of the yarn to Dipper, who took the string and started to tie it around the RV's bumper as Stan gestured for him to hurry up.
Dipper caught sight of his own reflection in the bumper, and he couldn't help but sigh sadly.
Stan took notice.
"Something on your mind, kiddo?" he asked.
As he bent down onto one knee to his level, Mabel and Grenda popped out of the ball of yarn and high-fived each other at the top of it.
"You're thinking about Miss Cold Shoulder over there, huh?" said Stan, as he pointed back at the girl.
"Ugh, I'm so embarrassed!" exclaimed Dipper. "Look, earlier this Summer, I ruined my chances with Wendy."
Stan scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably.
"Heh, yeah. Chances."
In the background, Mabel and Grenda were starting to unravel the ball of yarn behind them.
"And I wanna move on, but I'm terrible at talking to girls!" Dipper continued. "The moment I open my mouth around them, I unravel like...like...well, I can't think of a perfect metaphor, but you get the jist."
He looked down at the ground in shame.
"At this rate, I'm going to grow up to be a sad loner like Toby Determined."
"Whoa!" exclaimed Stan, as he put a hand on his nephew's shoulder. "Never say that about yourself."
"And besides, what's wrong with being a loner?" asked Mara. "There's nothing sad about being one. No one to hold you back or drag you down; I'm a loner, and I will always be a loner."
"Yeah, right..." Stan muttered under his breath.
Mara whipped around and shot a nasty glare at him in response to that.
Stan merely smirked at her, shrugged his shoulders, then turned his attention towards Dipper.
"Lucky for you, I'm an expert on women" he said. "Listen to me, kid. When it comes to girls, always be confident. And funny, but not too funny. And be kind of annoying, but in a lovable way."
Mara grunted.
"Annoying is annoying! There's no other way to it!"
"Yeah, I don't know, Grunkle Stan, that sounds kinda jerky" said Dipper.
"Hey" said Stan, as he stood back up onto his feet. "'Jerky' is just a term non-jerks use to badmouth innocent jerks."
He pointed to himself.
"Confidence, comedy...some third word starting with a C."
"Conceit?" said Mara sarcastically, with a raised eyebrow.
"Yeah, perfect!" said Stan. "The three C's of the Stan Pines' dating technique. At the next tourist trap, try out my advice on the first girl you see."
Dipper perked up.
"Cool. Grunkle Stan...thanks" he said.
Mara groaned and rolled her eyes, and walked away to help the others unravel the ball of yarn.
"Hey, I'm full of good ideas!" said Stan. "Speaking of which..."
He turned towards the girls who were at the ball of yarn.
"...everyone, NOW!"
At his command, they all slid off the ball of yarn, and ran into the RV, Soos running from the gift shop with his arms full of knitted merchandise.
As the RV drove away with the yarn end tied to its bumper, the ball of yarn started to unravel until there was nothing left on that stump.
Granny Sweetkins happened to be right behind it, watching the entire thing.
She glared at the RV.
"Why you gall darn, son of a no good!" she exclaimed, as she ran over on her lawn towards the world's largest knitting needles.
She pulled one of them out of the ground, and threw it as if it were a javelin at the RV.
The giant knitting needle stuck in the back of the vehicle, but it only continued to drive away.
"I'll get you, Stan Pines!" the woman yelled, as she raised her fist into the air.
The next tourist trap was a place called 'Upside Down Town,' which was pretty much what the name sounded like. It was a house that was flipped upside down, and there were normal stairs that led up to a giant carpeted wheel in front of the door.
Stan parked the RV right in front of it.
"Ah, Upside Down Town, the nausea capital of the state!" he said. "Whatever you do, don't use the bathrooms."
The five kids all put on a special pair of shoes that were velcro on the bottom, and would allow them to walk upside down on the ceiling.
"Road dogs! Woof! Woof! Woof" exclaimed Mabel, Candy, and Grenda excitedly, as they all ran into the up the stairs.
The five of them stood on the inside of the wheel, which spun them so that they were upside down in front of the door.
They then ran inside the upside down house.
"Nice!" said Grenda.
"This is so weird!" said Mabel.
The four girls ran in separate directions, all of them curious about different things that were upside down.
Meanwhile, Dipper was looking around at all the people.
He spotted a couple taking a picture a few yards away from him, and he walked forward to get a better look.
It was then that he spotted a girl, who looked around his age, with red shorts, a white tank, a pink half-shirt, and light pigtails that were sticking straight up in the air because she was upside down.
She had been taking a picture with her phone out the window.
Dipper took in a deep breath, and Stan's words started to echo through his head.
'Alright, kid, this is it. Be confident.'
Dipper cleared his throat.
"Hi, I'm Dipper" he said. "Crazy place, right?"
The girl turned towards him.
"Oh, hi! I'm Emma Sue" she said. "You know, if you pretend we're right side up, it looks like everyone's hair is standing on end."
"Huh yeah, weird, right?" said Dipper, as he looked up at her pigtails. "Pretend you're screaming."
"Ok!" she said cheerfully, as she handed him her cell phone. "You've gotta take a picture of me though."
She untied her pigtails so that all of it was sticking up in one area. She pretended that she was screaming to the camera, and Dipper snapped a picture.
He started to hand it back to her.
"Let's see about...WHOA!"
He 'accidentally' almost dropped her phone, but managed to catch it before it fell upwards.
Dipper laughed.
"Just kidding."
He chuckled.
"You are the worst" said Emma Sue playfully, as she lightly punched his arm and took her phone back.
"You bet I am" Dipper replied, as he put his hands on his hips. "I'm bad, Emma. I'm kind of a jerk."
His eyes narrowed as she looked at her phone.
"Emma, come on!" screamed her father, and they looked up to see her parents. Her mother was clutching her large stomach, and panting heavily.
"We have to get to Canada before your mother gives birth!" her father exclaimed frantically.
"It's a long story" said Emma Sue.
"Maybe you could tell me sometime?" Dipper suggested, as he looked right and left nervously.
She took his hand, and started to write some words on it.
"Here's my email address" she said. "Write me, and I'll tell you all about it."
And with that, she walked away from him towards her parents.
Dipper waved at her, and looked at his hand, where he could see her email.
"A girl gave me her email" he said with disbelief. "And it wasn't out of pity!"
He cheered in excitement.
"Ha ha! Yes!"
In the spur of his joy, he jumped up off the ground...or ceiling for that matter.
He fell straight onto the ground, or rather, straight onto someone.
"Ow!" cried out Mara in pain as he landed on her, crushing her against the ground. "Is falling on top of me a hobby for you guys or something?"
Dipper was too excited to apologize.
He hopped off of her.
"Hey, Mara! Thanks for softening my landing!"
He then started to walk forwards towards the exit, which happened to be in the gift shop.
Mabel, Candy, and Grenda were looking at various items in the shop, though Grenda was the only one who was still upside down.
"I'm ok! I'm better than ok!" said Dipper eagerly.
He walked past Mabel.
"Mabel, hi!"
He pointed up at Grenda, who was on the ceiling.
"There's my Grenda!"
He then walked past Candy.
"Candy, looking great, looking great!" he said. "Is that a new pair of glasses? Very shiny!"
As he walked towards the exit, he didn't notice Candy blushing deeply.
He laughed triumphantly, and jumped out the door.
The four girls looked at him with disbelief.
"Maybe it's the blood pooling in my head, but Dipper seems different" said Grenda, as her face suddenly started to turn purple from being upside down for too long.
"Yes" said Candy longingly, as she stared at the door where Dipper had been just a few seconds ago. "Good different."
She adjusted her glasses.
Mara groaned.
"I can't believe he actually listened to Stan, who was married for only an hour before his wife wanted a divorce."
She then looked around.
"Speaking of which, where is Stan?"
As if on cue, his booming voice suddenly echoed throughout the entire house.
"Now, Soos!"
In another room, Stan and Soos were jumping on the floor, or rather roof, which was causing the entire house to shift.
Eventually, it tilted to one side, and Stan and Soos started to run down the wall onto the real ground.
Their movement caused the house to be flipped back right sight up.
Stan, Soos, Mara, Mabel, Candy, Grenda, and Dipper ran out of the house as quickly as they could, and into the RV, where Stan turned the key and drove hurriedly away.
"Not so upside down now!" Stan called out, as he laughed.
The owner of the house was staring at the right side up house with wide eyes.
A woman with her dog suddenly walked up to the house.
"What a lovely, normal home" she complimented.
The owner fell to his knees.
"STAN PINES!!!!" he cried.
Dipper was sitting in the passenger seat, looking at the email that Emma Sue had written on his hand:
kewlgirl@jeemail-dot-com
"I can't believe it worked!" he said excitedly. "What do I do now, do I email her?"
"No no no, you practice!" said Stan. "The more girls you talk to, the better you get at it!"
"Grunkle Stan, these tips are priceless!"
"And that's just the tip of the adviceberg!"
Dipper spent the next couple of stops at the tourist traps flirting with girls and getting their emails, while Stan and Mara were busy sabotaging the tourist traps in their own, creative ways.
They were now at the corn maze, and while Dipper was flirting and Stan and Mara were vandalizing property, Soos was wandering through the corn maze, trying to find a way out.
When they were done, Stan stood outside the RV while all the kids piled in.
"Everyone on board?" asked Stan.
"Probably" said Mabel.
And with that, he drove away from the corn field, unaware that they had actually left Soos behind in the maze.
"Guys?" he called out. "Hello? Anyone?"
In the end, he only shrugged and stood there in the same spot.
"They'll come back for me."
That night, they had parked the RV at Septic Ridge RV park, and Dipper and Stan were sitting in a hot tub under the dark sky. Both of them were wearing swim trunks.
"So then I said to the bouncer, where's your ID, ugly?" Stan was saying. "That's where I got this scar."
He held up his arm to show Dipper, revealing a red line that went up his right arm.
Dipper laughed as he sat on the edge of the hot tub.
"Grunkle Stan, I've gotta say this was one of the best days ever!" he said. "Look!"
He held up both of his arms, revealing several emails written all over them. He was grinning wildly.
"That's the Stan Pines method, kid" said Stan. "Works every time."
"I'm just a little worried, though" said Dipper, as he finally got into the hot tub. "I mean, is it bad to flirt with this many girls at once?"
He sunk further into the water so that only his head was above water. He held his arms up at perfect ninety degree angles to prevent the emails from washing away as well.
"I'm just trying to get over Wendy. I don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings."
"Please, that's the best part of flirting on a road trip" said Stan, as he reached over and brought out two cans of pitt cola. "You're not gonna see any of these gals again!"
He handed one of the cans to Dipper, and then held up his own can.
"To moving on!"
The boys both laughed together.
A distance away from them, the four girls were all sitting around a campfire roasting marshmallows.
Mabel and Mara were sitting on one log, and Candy and Grenda were sitting on the other.
"So then I said, I don't see any beautiful people. They must be somewhere behind you!" Mara was saying.
The four girls then all broke out into laughter.
"Ah, that girl sounded like a total buttface!" said Mabel, as she wiped a tear from her eye.
"Yeah" said Mara. "If it wasn't for Dipper, I probably would have started that fight, though for the record, I would have definitely won."
At the mention of Dipper's name, Candy started to blush slightly. Fortunately though, no one seemed to notice before her blush finally died down.
"Ok" said Mabel. "It's time for..."
"...truth, or dare, or don't!" she and Grenda said at the same time.
Mara groaned and rolled her eyes.
"Not this game again. Can't we catch fireflies or play tag in the dark?"
Mabel pointed at her sister.
"Mara! You volunteered yourself to go first!"
"Don't" Mara replied instantly.
"Aw, come on! Don't be a killjoy" said Grenda.
Mara eyes narrowed at that accusation.
"Ok, fine" she said, thinking carefully and weighing out her options before actually making a choice. One look at Mabel's face, and she knew that her sister was definitely going to ask about romance in her life if she chose truth.
"Dare" she finally responded.
Mabel looked her sister in the face, and a sly grin started to form in the corners of her mouth.
"I dare you to tell us what is going on between you and Nathaniel" she asked, pointing at her sister with both fingers.
Mara looked Mabel with an expression that seemed to say, 'seriously?'
"Nothing, at least not in the sense that you're thinking of" she replied bluntly, keeping a calm expression on her face.
"Oh, really?" said Mabel rather teasingly, as she raised her eyebrows up and down at her sister in a playful manner. "Shall I put on my skepticals?"
Mara's face remained unbreakably stone cold.
"He saved me, and I saved him. We're friends now. End of story."
Mabel frowned. That wasn't the answer that she wanted to hear, but she knew that that was probably as much as she was going to get much out of her sister's love life anyways.
Grenda then pointed at Candy, signifying for her to go next.
"Your turn, Candy!"
"I choose...don't!" said Candy.
Grenda groaned in frustration.
"Ugh. You always choose don't!"
"Fine" said Candy. "Uh...truth!"
Mabel grinned at her friend.
"Do you...like someone?"
In response to that, Candy looked away from them, and her face started to burn a deep red.
"Uh oh! Someone's blushing!" said Grenda.
"Ok, maybe just a little" Candy admitted, her face still slightly red. "I don't know for sure. It just started."
"Tell us! Tell us!" chanted Mabel and Grenda.
Mara groaned and started to eat her roasted marshmallow. The game was always rigged for talking about love.
"Ok" said Candy, as she leaned in closer to her friends. "It begins with a 'D,' and ends with an 'ipper'."
Mabel and Mara's eyes both widened in shock.
"No" said Mabel.
"Yes" said Candy.
Mabel and Grenda gasped.
"Oh no, this is bad" muttered Mara.
Mabel looked at Grenda, and held out her fingers.
"Three, two, one..."
"Aaaaahhhhhhhhh!"
Both of the girls screamed so loudly that Stan and Dipper actually heard.
"Man, coyotes sound a lot worse than I remember" said Stan.
Mabel and Grenda were squirming excitedly while Mara was looking worriedly at Dipper.
"Candy. Candy! All my life dreams are coming true right now!" squealed Mabel eagerly. "My brother, my best friend."
"I can't breathe!" screamed Grenda. "I'm so excited I can't breathe!!!!"
And with that, she fell backwards right off her log.
"This is not good" said Mara silently to herself.
"I never really noticed him before, but he seems different lately" Candy explained. "Sweaty, and more charming, but how do I approach him?"
"Don't even worry about that, Can-can" said Mabel. "Mabel's got a plan."
She shoved several marshmallows into her mouth.
"Mabel's got a plan."
Early the next morning, they were on the road once again, and Stan was at the wheel with Dipper in the passenger seat.
"Alright, campers. We've got another day of breaking laws and breaking hearts" said Stan cheerfully. "Everything up until now has been a walk in the park compared to our next attraction."
Mabel perked up.
"Is it a walk of the world's biggest park?" she asked.
"Eh, sort of" said Stan. He then gestured ahead of him.
"There she is, kids. Mystery Mountain."
They were driving right towards a dark mountain that was concealed by the morning fog, which only added to the mysterious aura it gave off.
"Five times the size of the Mystery Shack, and what's worse: she has real attractions!" said Stan, his eyes narrowing.
Candy held up the pamphlet that she was reading excitedly.
"Oh! I have read about this place!" she said eagerly. "It has sky tram. And a mummy museum. And sightings of half-human, half spider creatures!"
Stan's eyes only narrowed more grudgingly.
"Even their made up legends are better than ours!" he said. "Today, the mountain falls."
Mara, who had been sitting at a bar by herself in the RV away from the other girls, noticed Mabel and Grenda looking at each other and nodding.
Her eyes widened.
She had to warn her brother.
She jumped out of her own seat, and hurried upwards towards the front, where Dipper was sitting.
"Dipper" she said urgently. "Candy developed a crush on you because of all those dumb things Stan's been telling you!"
"What?" said Dipper with disbelief. "That's ridiculous. Candy in love with me? Don't you think I would have noticed by now?"
"You're right, the observational skills of a twelve-year-old boy are quite keen, after all" said Mara sarcastically.
But Dipper didn't even seem to be catching on to her sarcasm.
"Exactly!" he said.
Mara put a hand to her forehead.
"Love is so complicated that it completely exceeds my understanding. If you hurt her, I will personally kill you myself"
Suddenly, they could hear Mabel and Grenda calling out to them.
"Question: the backseat makes me carsick" said Mabel. "Can I sit up front today?"
"Also question!" said Grenda. "I'm the size of two people! Can I have a whole seat to myself?"
"Eh, I don't know, sure" said Stan, not even taking his eyes off the road.
Mabel ran up to front, where Dipper was sitting.
"Whoo! Change up!"
She pushed Dipper all the way to the very back of the RV. She shoved him into the seat before he could protest.
"But wait!" said Dipper. "That means it'll just be me and-"
"Candy Chiu!" exclaimed Candy, who was sitting right next to him. "Sixth grade!"
Her face was as red as a tomato.
"Whoa!" exclaimed Dipper, instantly sitting away from her. "Hey."
He sat there awkwardly, looking from side to side and trying to avoid eye contact with her.
Candy suddenly started to scoot towards him until she was right next to him.
"You're sitting close" said Dipper.
Mabel and Grenda were giggling, as Grenda pulled the cord to the curtain, which drew closed in front of them.
It was now just him and Candy.
So Mara was right. Wasn't she always right? That was the thing about her that bugged him so much at times like this.
"So, Dipper" started Candy, her face still blushing. "I was wondering, would you maybe want to walk around Mystery Mountain with me today?"
'If you hurt her, I will personally kill you myself.'
Mara's words echoed through his head.
"Suuuure" he said awkwardly, as he scooted even further away from her. "I mean, wasn't that already the plan?"
Candy looked down at the ground.
"I mean, just us" she said. "You and me."
She finally looked up at him.
"Candy and Dipper."
Dipper's eyes widened.
Stan slammed on the brakes, and the RV suddenly stopped right next to the sign labelled 'Mystery Mountain.'
There was a giant statue of Paul Bunyan along with his bull right next to him.
Stan got out of the vehicle.
"Ok, road dogs, I've got five bucks for whoever can tip the big blue ox!" he said.
"You might as well give up, Mabel, that five bucks is mine!" said Mara, as she hurried out of the RV towards the blue ox.
Grenda and Mabel both followed after her, all of them intent on tipping over the statue.
Dipper walked towards the RV door rather slowly, with a frozen look of shock on his face.
Candy appeared next to him.
"I will see you in there!" she said excitedly.
Dipper smiled nervously at her.
She giggled as she hopped out of the RV and ran off after her friends.
When she was gone, Dipper finally got out of the RV, and started to walk away with his hands in his vest pocket. He was in a slouched over position, and there was a look of embarrassment on his face.
Stan looked at him with a confused expression on his face.
"Hey, what's with the mopey mug, kid?" he asked.
Dipper turned towards him with a panicked expression.
"Stan! You've gotta help me!" he said. "Everything you taught me worked too well! I think Candy just asked me out on a date!"
Stan grinned, and punched his arm.
"Hey hey! Look at this little champion!"
"What? No!" exclaimed Dipper, as he started to pace around Stan nervously. "I mean, Candy's great! She's sweet, and she's smart, but I've never thought of her like that! Th-th-this is all moving way too fast!"
He started to hyperventilate, and he dropped to one knee and took in several deep breaths.
He finally calmed down.
"Ok. I just need to to honest with her and tell her I-I'm not ready for all this."
Stan only laughed.
"Don't you see what's happening here? That's your dumb obsession with Wendy getting in the way of your future!" he said, as he put a hand on the boy's shoulder and started to walk him towards the ticket booth.
"If you wanna move on, you've gotta say 'yes' to whatever comes your way."
It was then that he noticed a lady with poofy blonde hair, blue mascara, sunglasses, and dreamcatcher earrings in the ticket booth.
The ticket booth itself was right underneath the foot of the giant Paul Bunyan statue.
Stan smirked.
"Speaking of which..."
Stan started to adjust his bowtie as Dipper looked up worriedly at him.
"But I don't wanna lead her on."
"Ah ah ah" said Stan. "Watch and learn."
He walked up to the ticket booth, and started to fumble around in his suit pockets.
"Oh, I seem to have lost my number" he said. He then leaned over the booth and looked at the woman behind it with a flirtatious expression.
"Can I borrow yours?"
The woman laughed, and lightly hit his shoulder.
"You are a riot!" she said with a Jersey accent. "What brings you here? We don't normally get men this handsome around these parts."
She shot a flirtatious smile back at him.
Stan laughed.
"Well..."
He looked at her name tag.
"...Darlene, between you and me, what I'm doing here is a little secret."
"Oh, you seem like a man with secrets!"
The two of them laughed, and Dipper looked at them with a disturbed expression on his face.
"You know, I'm going on a break" said the woman. "You wanna take the sky tram up to Widow's Peak?"
She gestured towards the sign that was labelled 'Entrance.'
Stan then leaned into Dipper's ear.
"Take my advice or don't, but clearly I know what I'm doing."
Stan then held out his arm to the woman as she walked out of the ticket booth towards him.
"Oh, fancy!" she said, as she hooked her arm into his.
The two of them started to walk towards the sky tram entrance, and Stan turned around towards Dipper and pointed at the woman excitedly.
When they were gone, Dipper started to think about his options.
Mabel, Grenda, and Mara were hiding out in the bushes as they watched Dipper and Candy walk into a cave that was called 'Mummy Town U.S.A' by themselves.
Mabel squealed.
"Ah! I can't believe this is happening!" she said. "A real date! I wonder what they'll name the baby."
Mara started to cough awkwardly, really unsure of what to do.
Of course, she knew that Dipper didn't love Candy back. What she was worried about was him hurting her somehow. Candy may have been a part of Mabel's boy-crazy friend group that she didn't always find interesting, but Mara still considered her as one of her own.
"If I had a baby, I'd name it Grenda II: the sequel!" said Grenda.
Mabel looked at her friend with a genuine smile on her face.
"You would make such a good mother!"
Mara snorted.
"I feel bad for your future kid already."
Mabel turned towards her sister.
"You know, you'd make a great mother too, Mara."
Mara scoffed.
"Yeah right. I'm not exactly what people these days call 'kid-friendly'."
Mabel smirked.
"But if you had a baby, would you, by chance, be naming it Nathaniel Northwest VI?"
In response to that, Mara punched her sister in the arm. Hard.
Candy and Dipper were sitting by themselves on a bench in the mummy exhibit. There were shelves of the remains of the deceased surrounding them, and a banner behind them that read 'New Mummies Daily!'
"This place is so enchanting" said Candy.
"Sort of confused by the phrase, 'New Mummies Daily,' though" said Dipper. "I mean how does that even work?"
"This mountain is full of mysteries" said Candy. "Like, why is my head falling on your shoulder?"
She let her head fall onto Dipper's shoulder.
Dipper's eyes widened from the awkward gesture.
Candy giggled.
"Uh, yup, this is what I want" said Dipper nervously, as he started to sweat. "This is all part of the plan and stuff."
Could this get any more awkward?
"Oh, Dipper, hey!" said a new voice.
Dipper turned to his left to see the girl that he had flirted with from the corn maze.
His eyes widened.
"Corn maze girl!" he exclaimed.
The girl sat down on the bench on Dipper's other side.
"I was wondering when you'd call" she said, looking at him flirtatiously.
Candy scooted away, and forced a smile.
"Dipper, who is this?" she asked nervously.
"Nobody!" Dipper answered quickly. "I mean, somebody, but-"
"Dipper!"
Dipper turned to his right to see Emma Sue walking up to him.
"I didn't recognize you right side up!" she said cheerfully. "You'll never guess where my mom gave birth."
She stopped when she saw the two girls that were sitting on either side of him on the bench.
"Hey, who are these girls?" she asked.
"Dipper?"
Dipper looked forward in horror to see the girl from the log tourist trap.
"Why haven't you called?" she asked. "Did our romantic log ride mean nothing to you?"
Candy was hurt by what she was seeing.
"I can't believe it" she said to Dipper, as she crossed her arms over her chest. "You agreed to go on a date with me, and you were seeing all these other girls?"
"Well, answer us" said the corn maze girl, as she crossed her arms over her chest as well. "Which one of us, do you like?"
Dipper was sweating anxiously.
"I...I like all of you!" he said, as he looked at the glares that were on all of the girls' faces. "I mean, I don't like any of you! I mean..."
He panted nervously as he pulled his hat over his eyes so he wouldn't have to see their accusing expressions.
He let go of the hat and faced them again.
"I'm trying to learn how to talk to girls!" he said nervously, as he shrugged his shoulders, trying to get them to understand.
He laughed apprehensively.
Emma Sue, the corn maze girl, and the log ride girl all turned around, and started to storm away from him.
"Unbelieveable."
"So gross."
"What a jerk."
Dipper stood from the bench, and was debating on what to do, when he noticed that Candy had remained seated on the bench, her head hanging in sadness.
"Dipper Pines" she said, as she took off her glasses and started to wipe her eyes. "I thought you were a nice guy."
She put her glasses back on, and the lenses reflected the light in the room, so that he couldn't see her eyes.
"But I guess you only care about yourself."
And with that, she slid off the bench, and walked away from him.
Dipper rubbed his face restlessly. He then reached out towards her.
"Candy, wait!"
But she did not wait for him.
He put his hands on his head in frustration.
"Ugh! I messed everything up!" he said to himself. "I've gotta find Stan. He'll know what to do."
And with that, he turned and started to run to find his uncle.
Stan was still on the date with Darlene, and the two of them were walking through the forest, where there happened to be a giant statue of a spider.
"Oh, are you sure you wanna go this deep into the forest?" she asked him, as they sat down on a log in front of the spider statue. "It's so scary!"
"Ha! Don't worry, toots" said Stan, as he put his arm around her shoulders. "That spider-people stuff is just an urban legend. I can't believe people fall for it!"
Darlene put her hand on his chest.
"You're so brave."
Stan grinned.
"What can I say, I'm a real catch."
"Yes."
She blinked, and when she opened her eyes, they were completely black.
"The catch of the day!" she said in a much deeper voice.
Stan's eyes widened.
"Uh, I think your contacts fell out" he said.
She hissed at him, and then attacked.
"Aaaaaahhhhhhhh!"
Dipper ran up hurriedly to the man behind the desk outside.
"Uh, have you seen an old guy around here?" he asked. "Big ears, orange nose, a real know-it-all?"
The man only pointed next to him, and Dipper turned to see an animatronic raccoon.
"Ah ah ah!" it was saying. "Flame retarding raccoon says, don't hug forest fires!"
Dipper groaned in frustration.
He started to walk towards the entrance, where he had last saw his uncle.
"Ugh! Stan, where are you?" he voiced his frustrations aloud. "I need your advice!"
"MASON PINES!!!"
Dipper winced when she called him his full name.
He turned around reluctantly and saw exactly what he was expecting to see.
It was Mara, and she was storming rather furiously towards him.
She got up close to him, and pointed an accusing finger at his chest.
"I told you not to hurt Candy!" she exclaimed angrily.
Mara then pointed off into the distance.
"She's over there crying because, apparently, she saw all those other girls you've been flirting with during this blasted road trip!"
"I know, Mara, and I'm sorry!" he exclaimed.
"Don't tell me you're sorry, tell her you're sorry!"
Suddenly, the walkie talkie in Dipper's vest pocket started to go off, and he picked it up hurriedly.
He held up his hand to shush Mara so they could hear Stan's voice.
"Hey, buddy boy!" said Stan's voice. "So you remember how we were talking about my technique? Well, sometimes it leads to unexpected consequences."
Dipper frowned.
"Yeah, you can say that again" he said. "Where are you?"
"Uh, the good news is, I've solved the mystery of where Oregon's mummies come from" said Stan's voice. "The bad news, I'm about to become one."
Stan was currently in a cave, and his body was encased in spider webbing as he hung several feet off the ground. He had managed to get the walkie talkie right next to his ear, on his shoulder.
"It turns out Darlene is one of those spider people" he said into the walkie talkie. "But beyond that, the date's been ok."
"Wait wait wait" said Dipper into the walkie talkie in disbelief. "Darlene's a spider person? How is that possible?!"
"I don't know!" said Stan from the cave, as he wiggled in the web casing around his body. "One minute, we're having the perfect date, and the next minute she's growing extra limbs and encasing me in webbing. Women, right?"
"See, this is exactly why I don't flirt with strangers" said Mara. "Or, something along those lines..."
"You couldn't tell she was a spider?!" exclaimed Dipper.
"I was blinded by flattery!" said Stan. "Also this acid she spit in my face. I'm up the mountain at Widow's Peak."
"Alright, we're gonna find you" said Dipper. He then turned towards his sister.
"Mara, I'll let you beat me up later, just help me save Stan first!"
Mara nodded in understanding.
Dipper then turned towards the walkie talkie.
"Stay put!" he said into it.
Stan looked around at his body, which was stuck in webbing as it hung from the ceiling. He could hardly move.
"You got it" he said into the walkie talkie, before it cut out.
Suddenly, a web was fired at the walkie talkie, and it yanked it away from him.
"Ah ah ah!" said Darlene, whose bottom half was a spider.
She walked, or rather crawled, towards him with the walkie talkie in hand.
"Trying to escape?"
She threw the device onto the ground, and it shattered into several pieces when it collided with the rock.
Stan glared at her.
"You tricked me!" he exclaimed angrily. "I'm eighty percent certain you don't really love me at all!"
"Ha! Men will fall for anything" said Darlene, crawling towards him and pushing up her poofy hair. She then started to mimic what she had been saying before in a very mocking way.
"You're so funny! Great story! I love a man with shoulder hair!"
Now Stan was hurt.
"You...you didn't mean it about my shoulder hair?" he asked with a rather sad expression on his face.
She got closer to him until she was only a few inches away from his face.
"Tell me, Stan, who'd you think was in charge?" she said, as she poked him with one of her spider legs, and then used it to pull down his bottom lip.
"You? With your cheesy lines and 'fake confidence'?"
She let go of his mouth, and started to crawl away.
"I'm the master pick up artist here" she said. "Sorry, toots, you're getting used for your body. Which, to my weird species, is food. Allow me to slip into something more horrifying."
She peeled back her mouth all the way, until her human half was completely gone and replaced with the torso and head of a spider, with four green, pupil less, eyes, and claws on her mouth.
It almost looked as if she had pulled on another skin over her human body half.
Stan screamed.
"I wonder what beverage pairs well with a vintage, seventy something year old man" she said. And with that, she crawled away further into the cave.
"Be right back!"
Stan looked worriedly towards the cave entrance.
"Come on, kids, where are you?"
Candy was sitting on a stump bench outside, with Mabel sitting next to her, and Grenda standing above her. Both girls had their arms around her.
She had stopped crying, but she still felt a little broken inside.
"I feel like such a fool" said Candy sadly. "I should have known to guard my heart in a cage of ice like Mara."
"THERE THERE!" yelled Grenda, so loudly that Mabel and Candy's hair were blown back by the force. "LET MY CALMING VOICE SOOTHE YOU!!!"
Candy smiled at her friend.
"It is helping."
Just then, Dipper and Mara ran up to the three of them.
"Girls!" said Dipper frantically. "There you are!"
Mabel and Candy hopped off the bench angrily.
"Betrayer!" screeched Mabel.
"Oh, you" said Candy grudgingly, as she walked up to him with her hands on her hips. "What do you want?"
"I need your help!" said Dipper.
"With what? Some sick jealousy trap?"
Mabel high-fived her friend.
"Yeah, sing it, Candy!"
"Testify!" said Grenda.
"I'm mad at him too, guys, but we've gotta work together to save Stan from a weird spider lady creature!" said Mara.
Mabel looked at her with worried eyes.
"Wait, what?"
"Look, I'm so sorry about everything, but Stan's in trouble!" said Dipper urgently. "You can totally kill me later, but right now he needs us!"
The three girls nodded in agreement before they followed Dipper and Mara, running towards Widow's Peak.
The five kids were now sprinting up the mountain past old reliable and the sky tram.
Meanwhile, Stan had his hands together in a pleading prayer.
"Please, I don't know if you're really up there or not, but if you are, please save me, Paul Bunyan!"
"Mr. Pines!" Grenda's voice echoed throughout the entire cave.
Stan's eyes widened in disbelief.
"Whoa, did that really work?"
He then turned to see the five children running towards him from the cave entrance.
Grenda was taking the lead, punching through the webbing that was hanging him from ceiling.
Stan dropped onto the ground onto his stomach, and the kids started to rapidly rip through the webbing to free him.
"Quick! Before the rest of the venom sets in!" he said.
The six of them then ran out of the cave, with the spider woman not far behind them.
"No!" she cried. "Where are you?"
She started to crawl hurriedly towards them.
They were all running for their lives, unsure of where to go, until Candy spoke up.
"The sky tram!" she exclaimed. "Everybody on! I have a plan!"
Everyone listened to her, and ran into the nearest sky tram car.
"Ha ha! Yes!" said Mabel.
"Perfect!" said Grenda.
The door shut behind them, and the tram car started to go up.
"Ride like the wind, sky tram!" exclaimed Stan, as he pointed upwards.
However, the sky tram didn't seem to be in any hurry. It was travelling down the mountain at a speed so slow that Mara thought Dipper might actually run faster.
"Welcome to Trambience!" said the automated voice inside the sky tram car. "The slowest treetop tram ride. Enjoy the sights at zero point one miles per hour!"
Grenda screamed out in frustration.
"Aaaah! Move! Move! Move!" she shouted, as she stomped on the floor of the tram car in an effort to get it to go faster.
"Ugh, can't this thing go any faster?" exclaimed Dipper in a panicked voice.
"No it can't" said the automated voice. "This is trambience."
Just then, Darlene managed to reach the end of the sky tram, and she crawled right on top of the utmost pole.
She squinted into the distance, trying to locate which car her victims were in, before leaping upwards into the air and landing on the closest tram car.
The people in the tram cars that she landed on screamed, before she jumped upwards and landed on the next one, making her way towards her desired one.
"Enjoying the view?" said the automated voice.
BANG!
Suddenly, something landed on the top of their tram car.
"Take a picture!"
Just then, Darlene's head appeared at the window, looking in on all of them.
The six of them screamed in fear, as she started to crawl around the tram car, encasing the entire thing in webbing.
"We're doomed!" exclaimed Stan.
Dipper grabbed the front of his shirt.
"We're all gonna die!"
Candy, meanwhile, was looking intently at the pamphlet in her hands.
She then turned towards the others.
"Listen carefully!" she said. "This sky tram has an emergency drop switch. Below us is Oregon's largest Paul Bunyan statue."
She pointed downwards at the ground.
"Old reliable goes off in five, four..."
She reached over, and grabbed the emergency drop switch on the door.
"Candy, wait!!!!" screamed Dipper, who was hugging onto Stan. "Don't pull that lever!"
"Kid, are you crazy?!" shouted Stan.
"...three, two, NOW!"
Candy pulled the switch, and suddenly the tram car was unhooked from the wire.
It dropped from the air, and was dragging Darlene down with it, since she was still attached to the webbing surrounding it.
All of them screamed inside, except for Candy.
The tram was falling right towards the ground, that is until the geyser, Old Reliable, went off.
The water shot them upwards into the air, and they started to roll down mountain, crushing Darlene as it continuously rolled over her.
Eventually, they came right towards the Paul Bunyan statue, smashing through the ticket booth underneath his foot.
Darlene finally let go of the sky tram car, but found that she was directly underneath the statue's foot, which was starting to come down on her.
"NO!" she cried, trying to crawl away.
But she was too late, and the foot crushed her into the ground.
She squirmed from underneath it, but found that she was, in fact, stuck.
"My only weakness, a giant boot!" she exclaimed. "A giant newspaper, or a giant cup would also have been pretty bad."
Stan suddenly broke down the door of the webbed sky tram, and the six of them hobbled out of it, all of them dizzy from the constant spinning of the tram.
Stan's fez had fallen off of his head .
"Thank you for riding Trambience sky tram!" said the automated voice, which surprisingly still worked. "Tell your friends it was a boring, boring ride."
Stan looked excitedly at Candy.
"Kid, that was ingenious!" he exclaimed. He put an arm around her shoulders. "How'd you know that would work?"
Candy held up the pamphlet from earlier.
"Useless travel pamphlets" she said.
"Staaaaany!" said Darlene rather weakly.
They all turned to see the spider creature peeling her human half top back on.
She used one finger to play with her hair as she flirted with Stan.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me" she was saying. "You'll let me out right?"
"What?! After all that?" Stan exclaimed angrily, as he pulled his fez back onto his head. "Seriously, do I look like an amnesiac?"
Darlene only laughed, and pulled her spider legs underneath the boot and out of sight.
"You're so funny!" she said. "Have you ever considered becoming a comedian?"
Stan suddenly dropped the glare.
"You know, I actually have" he said. "Comedy is too subtle these days. My style involves more oversized props."
He then walked towards Darlene, intent on setting her free.
"Here, let me get you out-"
"No, Stan, wait!"
All of the kids hurried over towards him, and pulled him back, just in time for Darlene to change back into a full spider, and lunge outwards to try and bite him.
Stan stopped.
"Oh yeah. Right."
"You win this round, Stan, but mark my words" Darlene said from underneath the boot. "As long as there's men like you out there with their dumb one-liners and pick up moves, I'll never run out of prey!"
She spit acid at him, and Stan screamed.
"Get in the car! Get in the car!"
No one really needed any encouragement.
They all piled into the RV as quickly as they could, and Scan slammed on the gas and sped away from Mystery Mountain.
The sun was now setting as they were driving home, and while Stan was in the driver's seat, Dipper was in the passenger's. And both of them had sad expressions on their faces.
Dipper slid down further into his seat and sighed.
He looked down at all the emails that were written on his arm, before wiping them off.
Stan sighed sadly.
"Alright, kid, I've gotta admit something" he said. "I'm no expert on women. Truth is I've been divorced once, and slapped more times than I can remember."
He rubbed his cheek as he remembered the pain.
"Confidence can buy you a lot" he continued. "But at the end of the day, pickup artists tend to get our heads bitten off. When it comes to women, I'm a failure."
He hung his head down low, and a sad expression crossed over his face.
Dipper looked at him sympathetically.
"Hey" he said, holding up his smudged arm. "We're both failures."
Stan smiled at him.
"You know, even if your dating tips were bad, I actually haven't thought about Wendy all day" said Dipper. "So you did teach me to be more confident. I guess I just need to learn to use that power for good."
He looked guiltily at Candy, who was staring out the window in the back sadly.
Dipper made his way over to Candy, with his hands behind his back.
"Hey" he said, and she looked up at him. "I found a pamphlet I don't think you've read yet."
He held up the pamphlet that he had made for her, which had a drawing of him with the words 'A Loser's Attempt At An Apology' written above it.
He opened it for her to see.
In the first column, he was crying an entire sea of tears, and the words 'I'm so sorry' were written above him. In the next column, he had drawn a retarded version of himself drooling, and instead of the pine tree on his hat were the words 'total jerk.' There was also a pie chart underneath that picture, with two sections: 'Sorry' and 'I'm dumb.'
In the last column, he was pleading with his hands together and a tear on his face. 'True fact: I'm sorry! 4give me?' were written above that drawing. Below that drawing was a picture of a smiling Candy, with the words 'You Are Great' written above her.
Candy took the brochure from him, and looked at it in her own hands.
She smiled.
"It's ok, Dipper, the open road makes people do crazy things" she said, as Dipper took a set next to her and fastened his seatbelt.
"Plus, after seeing you flee that spider like a baby, I kind of lost interest" she added.
Dipper scratched the back of his head nervously.
"Yup. Yup, I deserved that."
Just then, they drove right past a sign that said 'Now Entering Gravity Falls' along with the water tower that they were so used to.
All of the children were cheering excitedly as they were finally home.
"Still feel a little bad about wrecking those tourist traps" said Dipper.
"Come on, everyone loves my pranks" said Stan, as they pulled up to the Mystery Shack. "And the best part is, I never have to face any conseque...SWEET SALLY!"
The Mystery Shack was completely vandalized.
The word 'Mystery' and the letter 'S' had been removed, and spray painted across the sign boards instead were 'Stan is a,' which made the sign say 'Stan is a Hack!'
There were several 'You Stink' messages spray painted upside down, along with several other spray painted messages including, 'Granny Sweetkins says eat it, Pines!' and 'Stan is a Butt,' which Granny Sweetkins was currently spray painting.
There was yarn strung all over the outside of the shack, and the entire building seemed to be filled entirely with corn.
Stan slammed on the brake, and jumped out of the RV.
"Aw, come on!" he exclaimed.
The owner of Upside Down Town, who was on top of the roof, flipped the gift shop sign upside down.
The owner of the corn tourist trap swung a bat into one of Stan's headlights.
"That's what you get!" he exclaimed, as he dropped the bat. "That's what you get!"
And with that, Granny Sweetkins and the owner of Upside Down Town jumped off the roof, and the three of them ran off.
Stan looked back at the vandalized Mystery Shack.
"I don't understand" he said. "I completely don't deserve this!"
"Oh, man are we gonna have to help clean this up?" asked Dipper.
Mara sighed.
"I'll go get the automated low pressionated device" she said.
"Nah, I'm sure Soos will take care of it" said Mabel.
It was then that she realized that Soos was actually not with them.
"Where is Soos anyway?"
Soos was still standing in the middle of the corn field, in the same exact spot where he had been standing for the past several hours.
"Ok, Soos, remember what your grandma taught you" he told himself. "When you get lost, stay exactly where you are, and don't move!"
A few seconds passed by.
"Don't moooove."
He could hear the birds starting to caw in the fields.
"You know, I would make a really good scare crow."
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