In the short days in Daegu, Seulgi really felt that Irene had feelings for her. She was not dreaming, wanting to be hugged by her and to sink in her care. After many years of interaction, Seulgi finally got a bit of confidence to hold Irene’s hand on the crowded street. Daegu city is near the sea so when night falls, the cold wind rises. Seulgi rubbed her hands together, then put them to Irene’s cheek. Her small face was like a small cat in Seulgi's palm.
The two kept holding hands along the wind on the small street. Irene lowered her head to look at the ten fingers that were tightly together, her heart suddenly beating fast. It had been a long time since she had sensed this feeling of protection, how strange it was when the person who brought it back was the one who would likely become her rival. In the past few days, Irene suddenly realized that she didn't want to go back to Seoul a little more. She really just wanted to stop here, at this Daegu shelter. In order to build a real relationship with Seulgi. How miserable, only when she truly accepted her feelings did she face this difficulty. Irene thought from the beginning that a person who always put the rules on her like she wouldn't be able to vibrate in front of a suspect. Perhaps, she underestimated the so-called sincere sentiment that would shake people's hearts. Irene realized that she became more and more attached to Seulgi. Many days, Irene did not stop herself from thinking about the future with Seulgi. She seemed to have forgotten about her identity, Seulgi's, instead she immersed in the romance that began with lies.
Since realizing that she have gradually become in love with Seulgi, Irene always had a feeling that she was taking on the title of justice that hurt Seulgi. Even if she wasn't involved in the deal, it was hard to hide Seulgi the truth, the reason she approached her. What if she was really involved? What will she do? How could she still believe anything? Whenever she is with Seulgi, Irene sneakily lets herself hide in her hug. She had allowed herself to blend into her sweet kiss.
There was a thing in Irene’s heart that could only be thought of but not touched. There are complex feelings of her who love but cannot recognize the main purpose. She also discovered that her body had been fiercely energetic for Seulgi's touch, but Irene’s mind couldn't respond. That feeling, Irene kept it for herself. Irene became more selfish and dictatorial. She didn't want to share Seulgi with Yerim. She was uncomfortable and jealous whenever Yerim called Seulgi. However, at the same time, Irene didn't want to let others know that there was such a bitter feeling in her, especially Seulgi.
Waking up every morning and seeing Seulgi's sleeping face are peace to her side. Her scent and warmth distracted her from everything.
For the first time, Irene wished she could become a girl with a normal job. She could be a chef, or open a jewelry shop. Any profession, not a police. She did not want to continue to face this torment and fatigue. But she was not brave enough to know the truth. If anything, everything Seulgi had for her was a lie. What if, Seulgi is actually a very crafty and evil person? What if she was a cruel criminal covered with a perfect mask? If so, how would she react? Irene really doesn't know either.
Every day passes, living in Seulgi's love, Irene always wonders. Was she wrong when she didn't know what she was thinking, did she go the right way? If she now said that she loved Seulgi, her heart would be heavy with the guilt of sin. However, she said she did not love to deceive herself blatantly.
Embarking on the scene, Irene trained herself to hide her emotions. However, recently, she had a feeling that Seulgi had noticed.
She realized that she felt guilty and wrong when she loved. Having been together for a long time, Irene also talked freely with Seulgi. She even trusted Seulgi to tell her about her feelings. In the past, every time Seulgi talked, she would only contribute a few words. However, since when Irene realized, she have feelings for her ideals and with the deepness of Seulgi.
Just recently, Seulgi will always be a quiet person to listen to her talk and a reply is also not required. All, just blinking eyes staring at her. That gaze, that very sad look, is also the look that Irene is most scared of when she sees it. That gaze, as if she had known before, then everything would be just a thing.
"Irene" Seulgi's voice echoed in her ears startling Irene. She didn't thought for a moment she could think of so many things. Seulgi's nearly narrow face suddenly popped into Irene’s hazy eyesight making her open her eyes. Seulgi saw that, and she knew the other person was dumbfounded, simply stroking her cheek.
"Is it cold or not? I told you not to let go of your hand. Now your hands are going to be cold" she said in a gentle smile that made Irene turn her face away. Irene shyly walked forward, leaving Seulgi behind to watch her back. She went over, grabbed Irene’s hand and stuffed it into her pocket.
"Irene, thanks for taking care of me for the past few days. I really felt much better," Seulgi said, slowly moving forward. Irene just felt like she suddenly wanted to cry. She really didn't know where she got the courage to hold her hand to stop. Both stood facing each other, breathing far away so that they were wrapped together in one place. Seulgi's eyes are now staring at Irene, still the same. The warmth and softness in her bright pupils were still for her.
Right now, Irene suddenly regretted receiving the investigation.
That day when she met Seulgi, she was surprised when she was the head of the group that was in the investigation of the judges. The reason Irene agreed to be Seulgi's girlfriend, was also because she was the undercover police officer assigned to Seulgi's standing position. She never thought, things would turn out like this. She never thought, she will be deeply absorbed in Seulgi's pure and sincere feelings. She also had so many things entangled in her back to give this love a certain and stable place in her heart.
"Seulgi, if one day you’re not with me .. You also have to take care of yourself, understand?" Seulgi heard that, urgently suddenly raised. Seulgi actually thought that Irene had feelings for her, so when she heard her say such hidden words, she was at loss. Seulgi knows of course, this romance will end, but somewhere in her heart, she really hopes that Irene will change her decision and accept it with her. Seulgi's greed momentarily wants to prolong that love, even if it is only for a day. Taking care of Irene, having her by her side became her toxic habit. Therefore, in a moment Seulgi did not commit to losing her. Disturbed, Seulgi could not tell Irene how much she felt. Seulgi just swallowed hard, holding down her urgency to laugh and answer.
"So if you marry me now and become my wife, then there will be no fear of a day without you to not take care of me." Seulgi is just saying it like that, but the words stuck in Irene’s heart. She stopped and looked at her.
"What did you just say?" The surprise in Irene’s big eyes suddenly made a stir in Seulgi's heart. She suddenly wanted to be in the middle of the road, arbitrarily kneeling down to propose to her. Marrying Irene about being a wife, isn't that what she used to dream about? However, now Seulgi doesn't have rings, nor wears beautiful and luxurious clothes, how can she ask Irene for such a sketchy card?
Both of them were looking at each other when suddenly there was a car coming down the street. Irene stood facing Seulgi so she couldn't see the car. She saw the car approaching, reflexively went to pull Irene into her lap, so that she could face the road. Immediately, a wet feeling filled her body in a blink of an eye. Seulgi thought that this could only happen in the movie when the male lead pulled the female lead out of the water. Seulgi was wearing a gray coat, now darker because of the water clinging. Irene glared, quickly separated from Seulgi.
Irene felt that this would be one of the images she kept in her heart all her life. Irene doesn't understand why in all of Seulgi's memories left behind her, she thinks that this is the moment she will remember forever. For example, just now, if it was a car, or a bullet, she knew Seulgi would follow her reflexes and support her. Suddenly, there was a sudden pain and regret, Irene wondered. Such a lover, if ignored, will she regret it or not?
The two people kept standing in silence and looked at each other, until the first drop of rain fell on Irene’s back.
"Seulgi, let's go" Irene said, then proactively reached out to hold her hand, pulling her towards the shelter. The warm touch on the palm made Seulgi feel warm. If only that day, the bad days when old, Irene also reached out for small hands to protect her, how good it is. Seulgi looked down at her entwined hands and smiled. In her heart, she felt that hopeful feeling again, it was strange that Seulgi now felt that she could trust that Irene wouldn't hurt her anymore. That small palm, like a guarantee that her heart was in the right place.
Both stood inside the shelter that looked out the rain outside. Seulgi suddenly felt something very special about the way the sparkling light streaks on the road, in the rain where the two were standing. Then she looked at Irene who was reaching out to catch the tiny raindrops while happiness was creeping in her heart more and more intense. Finding a great love of her life, when everything she insisted on thinking it was complicated suddenly became so simple. And everything she ever thought was wrong suddenly became right.
Seulgi suddenly realized, all those changes happened because she was with someone who made her feel brave.
Irene didn't know that Seulgi suddenly wanted to dance with her, right in this rain. She did not know if she knew it, she was trying very hard to control her emotions now or not, but the way Irene gently slipped her wet fingers through her silky hair gave her a great feeling.
Seulgi really didn't know what could be better than the current feeling, when she stood in the rain with Irene. She took her hand, suddenly giving Seulgi an unprecedented feeling. Seulgi did not know why, but as long as for Irene, whenever there is a storm out there, she vowed to stay by her side. Always.
At night, Seulgi hugged Irene in her heart, completely fell in love with her, but didn't know that Irene remained in a troubled mood
while immersed in the warm embrace.
Irene and Seulgi have been in Daegu for almost a week. Each day of the two people is very quiet and quiet.
Early in the morning, the two of them will go together to have coffee, then she will follow her mother to the market to buy food to prepare for dinner. Seulgi accepted the task of bringing Jookyun to school instead of Irene’s father. She was discharged from the hospital, staying at home every day to take care of the father. One day Irene and her mother went back to the market to see Seulgi and her father sitting in the garden playing chess. She did not stop herself but stood watching the two silently. There was one point that she felt like in Seulgi, that was how she skillfully made others happy. Irene knows that Seulgi knows how to play chess, but she still seems to be foolish to hear her father explain about playing chess. It has been a long time since she saw her father talk so enthusiastically. In the house, he is the only person who is interested in chess, obviously no one can talk about the tricks with him, so for many years, the old chessboard has been kept by Irene’s father in one corner. Now there is Seulgi here who talks to him very well. Seeing her father being happy, Irene couldn't stop the stealing from being happy. This was the first time in many years that she really felt like wanting someone next to her, someone who could be attached to her family.
This is also the first time, she wants to give Seulgi a family. She never cared about anyone's house, Irene salways considered orphans because of fate. She only had a little sympathy and never thought of herself wanting to give someone a home. Only Seulgi, she suddenly felt that she needed a family. And she herself could bring it to her.
Irene can give Seulgi a family, and she wants it.
The fact that she was orphaned from a young parents really bothered her. The more she thought, Irene felt even more guilty about Seulgi. About the way she had been to her for years before not knowing anything about her situation. Irene has grown like this, but when tired, depressed, she went to her parents to explain. She could not imagine if her childhood lacked one of them. Yet Seulgi went through all those things alone. Irene suddenly thought ..
Eight years old? It's really too short for a night to both of her dearest parents to leave.
Seulgi's first milk tooth? Who brought her to the dentist?
Seulgi's first menstrual period? Who guided all?
Seulgi's first kiss? Who is the person she told to?
She really did not think that the people Seulgi lived with during her childhood could help her with such things.
So, when she saw her sincere smile when talking to Jookyun about science films or the way Seulgi praised her family's delicious food, even her eyes were bright and passionate when she heard her father talk about chess also makes Irene feel sorry.
Kang Seulgi, this name made her mind so much more and more.
What should she do after all?
What should she do when tomorrow is over, both will return to Seoul. She would have to face the fact whether or not she was a dangerous criminal. She was really scared, Irene just hoped it wouldn't become a reality.
Because she knew, Seulgi might be because she went through it all. But what about her? If it was true that she had committed a crime, would Irene’s feelings for her be big enough to stay with Seulgi? And Wendy, Irene really didn't realize she was in this awkward situation until she discovered this kind of affection for Seulgi.
On that day when she received the task, she was very disgusted with Seulgi's side. Part of it is because of the old fondness of studying together. Partly because she really thought she was a criminal. However, the more she contacted Seulgi, the more deeply she fell into Seulgi's feelings, the more she could see her as a human being. How warm Seulgi is, how good Seulgi is, Seulgi is a gentle person. The more she was with her, the harder it was for her to think that she could be a woman who caused great crimes.
Or did she fall in love with her? Irene has been struggling for many nights to find her to answer this question. She knew she didn't hate her, she couldn't. She knew, she liked Seulgi, the fact that she had feelings for her was undeniable. However, Irene still didn't have the courage to tell herself that she loved her.
"Love" for Irene is a very sacred and important word. Until now, she still had not enough courage to put this love on anyone. She and Wendy had been together for so long, she had never once dared to speak out. Because she did not trust enough, she was not enough to assume that the other person could go to the end of the road. But now she is having these ideas with Seulgi. Sometimes, she blamed Seulgi. After all, why? Why did she love her so much? If she was just a lover of her beauty, or her body, things would have become easier. Seulgi's sincerity, Seulgi's passion for her is making Irene change. She changed her mind and personality for her. Because of her gaze, her decisions, her determination and decisiveness, suddenly became shaky.
The tormentors so much trampled on the spirit of her doing Irene even if it was Seulgi's warmth that could not sleep well.