Sami ~
I swear, this fucking day has turned out the worst. I am so fucking tired. I feel like shit. Looking at my phone, it's now after 1 am. I need sleep.
"you ok Sami?" Becki ask.
"Yeah. Day started good and Bam, all kinds of fucked up." I say. Looking at her, "Becks, I don't know if I can do this shit anymore. I think I need to give it up."
"What do you mean give it all up?" She ask. Then leans and whispers, "even the club?"
"I don't know Becks. I love this club but fuck, not sure I'm strong enough anymore for it, maybe that whore was right." I say, knowing my tears are close.
Putting her arm around me, "It'll work out. It has to. That whore was taken care of, she doesn't matter to anyone except for a fuck. I can't lose you again" she says, voice cracking.
Looking at her, "Becks, I don't know after today. This whole day was because of me. It makes no sense." I whisper.
Sitting in silence, looking around. I feel the tears coming. I stand up, "I need air. I'm going outside"
"Need me?" She ask.
"No. I'll be safe." I say walking away.
Stepping out back, bonfires going, people drinking still. I shake my head from these thoughts of walking away from this.
Walking to the fence, I turn and slide down to sit. Lost in thoughts. Can I walk away from Talon? He broke through to me, and has a part of me I've never let go. Can I let him go? Can I let this club go? And my son's? I'm fucked in the head right now.
"Need an outsiders point of view?" I hear. I look up, Razor is standing there.
"I'm good thanks." Is all I can say.
"You may be the club queen, but, you're still human. And we all need to talk when shit gets muddled in our heads." He says.
"Maybe this time, it's so fucking muddled, it's too late." I tell him
He takes a deep breath, " Sami, you belong here. Yeah, you've had to deal with some bad shit. You've had heartbreak also. Don't deny it. I see it in you. But I also see, a woman who deals with this shit like the badass she is. You protect women who are abused, you defend your club and your son's are the world to you. You need to let Prez fully take care of you. To be the one you need when these dark thoughts get in. I can see the darkness in your eyes, like now. Even in the dark, with just a bonfire, I see them." He draws out.
When did this man become wise?
Looking at the ground, " Razor, I'm afraid that I can't come back from the darkness sometimes." I stammer out. "Afraid of never coming back."
"Prez loves you more than anything. We all see it. I've seen him bring you back from that darkness. Let him be the light that guides you back, every time." He says.
"Thanks Razor. But I'm not sure if want to stay here." I say " I'm thinking of giving it all up"
"I can't let you go Sami. You're my life." Talon says.
I look up to Razor. He smiles, "sorry Sami."
I nod, letting him know it's ok.
"Should have known you being all serious had it's reason Razor. How long you been eavesdropping Tal?" I look up and ask. As Razor walks away.
He sits beside me, pulling me into his lap. " Long enough to know you're in a bad place in your mind right now. Becki was worried about you and found me. I was looking for you when Razor text me where you were." He says, holding me close.
Minutes go by, in silence.
I feel him take a breath, "Sami, I never thought that I could feel love, never imagined that I deserved love. From the first time I saw you, I felt a connection, felt a pull. I started feeling that I needed you in my life to live. I have never felt this way, or given a woman a part of me. You have all of me. I can't let that go. I would go crazy without you." he says, kissing my neck.
He holds me for the longest time, my head against his chest. Listening to his heartbeat. I feel myself drifting off to sleep.
Waking up, I look around. Not remembering how I got in our room.
What is that damn noise? Listening to the sounds, I look at the clock, 1pm. What the fuck.
Jumping up, I'm looking for my phone. Find it on the dresser, checking for missed call and text. Why did I sleep so late. No calls no text. That seems weird. Shaking my head, I head to the shower. Standing there with hot water spraying me, I relax against the heat. Damn my body aches.
Wrapping a towel around me, I walk back into our room.
I'm startled to see my man leaning against the dresser, giving me a smile, and hands me a cup of coffee.
"Thanks babe. How'd you know I was up.?" I ask, sipping my coffee.
He walks to the nightstand, picks up a monitor. Grinning, "Bubba's idea. When I went down earlier, the boys were in the kitchen told them you were still sleeping. And every few minutes I'd come check on you. He said he got tired of watching me go back and forth. And suggested the monitor. So I put it in here and he clipped the other part on my belt. Damn thing scared me when I heard you getting up. " He says grinning at me.
I walk over to him, slide my arms around his neck, "such a good man to me." I murmur.
His arms go around my waist, my towel falling off.
He growls," babe, I won't be able to control myself. Get dressed."
I look up to him, a usong myself into him. "I don't want control right now. I need you Tal." I whisper.
Kissing me hard, "baby, I need you." He says against my lips.
"Then take me Tal. Right here. Please take me hard." I breath out.
"Fuck! Babe, I need my cock in you now." He says, fumbling with his jeans, kicking them off.
Pushing me again the wall, lifting my legs around his waist, feeling his hard cock pushing against my pussy. He slides his finger into my wetness, "fuck babe, so wet." In between kisses. Sliding another finger in.
"Fuck me Tal. I need your cock." I almost scream.
"As you wish my queen." He says, nipping my neck.
He reaches down to his cock, positions it to my center, his thrust makes my pussy clench.
Pumping hard into me, he slides his finger to my clit. I feel it building. "Look at me Sami. I want to your eyes on mine." He breaths faster.
"Tal, I'm close. Fuck don't stop. I need this. Harder babe." I say, sliding my hands to my nipples, squeezing each one.
"Fuck babe. That is sexy. I'm close. Come all over my cock, I need to feel it." He growls.
Thrusting harder, I feel him start to swell, he rubs my clit harder, my hips grinding against him.
"I'm coming TAL!!" I get out as I feel him thrust once more and feel him filling me up. My pussy clenches, my legs weak. Satisfied.
He doesn't pull out, walks us to the bathroom. Sits me on the vanity, slowly pulling out.
I groan. Not wanting his cock out of me.
"Let me clean you up babe." He says, turning to grab a washcloth and turn on the water.
I watch him, this man who holds my heart, who gives so much without needing more for himself.
I realize, this man, is my one true love. And I could never walk away from that. Never. Leaning into him, "I love you Talon, heart and soul. Always."