Alexander's POV
"Aria I can explain just-just close that and let's sit and I'll explain" I finished with a sigh and dug my fingers into my hair.
I fucked up, I fucked up big time. I'm losing her.
"How can you explain a drawer full of guns, weapons and bullets?" she asked darkly. I came close to her and touched her shoulder.
She sounds empty.
"Princess-"
"Don't-" my hand flinched away. "-touch me" She didn't know that was th hardest thing for me to do.
"Please" I whispered desperately. "This is only for safety"
Lame.
"If it was for safety you wouldn't need all this things. I would understand if it was just one gun but this is filled"
"Aria you trust me right? You know I would never hurt you"
"You would hurt others though. What are you? A killer?" She asked breaking my heart into pieces.
My heart that only beats for her.
"Aria" I felt my throat close and my eyes well up.
I never cry, but I'm not ashamed of crying for her.
"As much as I want to I can't explain everything. I wish I could, but you would never understand"
"Why wouldn't I"
"Just like you can't understand that for some reason there is a hidden drawer in my closet full of guns and weapons"
"If you don't explain then I can't-"
"You think it's easy for me? You think telling you is easy? I can't tell you. I can't put you in more danger"
"More?" She turned to look at me. Her beautiful emerald eyes were like pools of tears right now, glistening in the light of the closet they looked like green crystals.
Beautiful yet heartbreaking.
"Just like you can't tell me some things and you can't tell caleb about me because you would put me in danger, I can't tell you about this" I confessed. "Please don't be scared of me. Please" I whispered desperately shutting my eyes tightly wishing this could be just a nightmare.
Why did I have to fuck up? I can't lose her now.
"I can't be scared of you even if I wanted to. Even if I should" She dropped her gaze at the floor and closed the drawer. I let out a sigh of relief.
I almost had a heart attack.
"You shouldn't I would never hurt you, I'd die before hurting you"
"That doesn't mean I can just brush it off and everything will go back to normal"
"I'll do whatever you want to prove to you that you're safe with me"
Even though she may be not, I vowed to protect her. I will
"Can you hide them somewhere else for starters?" She murmured quietly.
"Of course" I answered quickly.
"I should ask you to keep your distance"
Saying it crushed me would be the understatement of the year. She tore my heart apart.
"But I don't want you to and I still feel safe with you. It's stupid but-"
"No it's not, you should feel safe with me I would protect you at any cost" I said almost dropping to me knees and begging her to believe me.
She came to stand in front of me. Her eyes were still glistening making me weak.
"I wish I could tell you Aria" I shook my head. "But I don't want to lose you now" I whispered and looked down. I couldn't stand looking into her emerald crystal eyes.
And then suddenly she hugged me.
I felt her small arms wrap around my huge frame and her face buried in my chest. My heart started beating so loud that I was sure she could feel it pounding.
"Whatever it is Alex, I understand" She murmured. I wrapped my arms around her feeling them shake "What you've done is not who you are and whatever it is won't change my mind abou you"
What did I do to deserve an angel like her?
"You say that now, but you can't imagine Aria. You can't imagine" I whispered the last part holding her tighter. "I want to tell you. It suffocates me, my mouth feels like a prison for this secret, I'm sick of having to keep it to myself but I can't lose y-" Suddenly my rant was interrupted by a pair of soft glossy lips on mine.
Her lips.
I felt like I couldn't breathe. This was the first time she kissed me first and it made me way more emotional than I thought. I felt my eyes well up and my hands shaking. If someone told me I would feel like that two months ago I would have laughed.
And maybe spit at them and hit them to wake up.
I couldn't think but at the same time a thousand thoughts ran through my mind. I knew I couldn't keep her forever. Angels don't belong with demons and perhaps I'm Satan himself.
But somehow deep down I knew she was my forever.
The way her hands cupped my jaw made me lose my mind, I was overwhelmed for a reason I couldn't understand and feeling something I didn't recognize.
I licked her lower lip asking for entrance as I tried to wrap arms around her waist with every ounce of power I had left.
She had made me weak.
"Open please" I pleaded breathlessly in between kisses. I was panting heavily but I couldn't keep my lips away even if I wanted to.
She obeyed and hesitantly parted her lips, but this time I didn't have to fight to find her tongue. This time she kissed back the same way.
I couldn't help but hum in pleasure.
My baby was kissing me. My angel.
I went crazy when I heard her sweet moans. We were both breathless but she was so addictive that I couldn't stop.
"Alex" She pulled away and hid her face in my chest. We waited a few minutes to catch our breaths and when we were breathing better she looked up at me and smiled the sweetest most beautiful stunning
breathtaking smile I had ever seen.
I didn't even imagine a smile could be so beautiful.
"I'm sleepy" She giggled and I felt my heart do a somersault. It felt like I could close my eyes and listen to it and it would be like I was in heaven.
Since I'll never go there.
"Then let's put you to bed my baby" I whispered and picked her up walking to her room.
-----------
"You're one stupid motherfucker"
"Alex, it's okay she doesn't know anything" He said still not paying any attention to me and playing his stupid game.
"Do you understand what will happen if she finds out Gabriel? Or should I say Jason?" I spat out the name.
"Alex, at one point you're going to have to tell her, what's the point in hiding everything?"
Said the one with the fake name.
"Because when I tell her I'm going to explain everything and try to make her understand"
"Ooh I'd like to see you try make her understand that"
"Can you pay attention to me and not your stupid game?" I said crossing my arms.
"Gee, you're acting like my girlfriend"
"If you had one"
"Ouch" He flinched. "There" He turned to me with a smile dropping the controller. "I won" he said proudly.
"Now can you help?" I asked.
"Of course I can" He said and stood up walking to me. "Just tell her" He patted my shoulder and then walked to the kitchen before opening the fridge.
"Wow thanks, I hadn't thought about that, what a brilliant idea"
"I know, that's why I told you"
"You're stupid" I said and fell on the couch with a sigh.
"Alex, you should have thought about it earlier before lying to her, now you should tell her, the sooner the better because one day it may be too late. The closer you two guys are the worse it will be when you'll have to tell her"
"Or maybe I'll make her fall in love with me and then tell her"
That's stupid.
"That's stupid. She'll hate herself for falling for a liar"
"But I'm not lying to her. I've told her that I can't be honest with her so I'm being honest about not being honest" I saw him giving me a glare.
"Bro I didn't think your stupidity could go that far" he said after a long pause. "Get you a boss like Alexander" he muttered opening up a bottle of milk.
"I just don't know what to do" I whined face-palming. "I don't want to lose her. She's my happy place"
"Should have thought about that when you vowed to kill her"
My face darkened when I remembered that.
"I will never hurt her. Not intentionally"
"I'm glad to hear you say that. She's a good girl Alex. Nothing to do with her family and I see how much you care about her and how happy she makes you" He said sitting next to me. "Honestly if you were still after killing her I'd never let you" he confessed.
"That was before I got to know her. Two days after meeting her my mind had already changed" I smiled recalling our moments together. "I've never changed my mind so quickly before" I shook my head.
"But you've already put her in so much danger"
"I know. And I will protect her at all costs"
"Do you think she's like, the one?"
There wasn't any other word other that yes in my head when he asked that.
"Yes. I've never felt these feelings before. I miss her so much when she's away. I usually go into her room and-"
"Smell her underwear"
"No you pervert!"
Even though I'd want to
"You know what? I'm leaving. Bye" I said walking to the door before opening it.
"Have fun having blue balls!" I heard him yell before I shut the door.
Annoying bastard.
I was hoping Aria would still be home. I really needed her right now. This whole conversation with Gabriel had me worried and anxious. As if I would return home and she would have magically learned about everything and leave me.
I quickly got out of the car and went up to our floor hoping she would be at the other side of the door.
When I got in I heard cheerful music playing softly from the kitchen.
I walked to the kitchen and saw her.
She looked so happy dancing and quietly singing along while making breakfast. What caught my attention the most though was her outfit.
And by that I mean the towel she had wrapped around her.
And as if that wasn't enough, she was shaking her cute butt around dancing too. I heard her giggle and it brought a smile to my face.
The closer I got to her the stronger her scent was. She had just got out of the shower and I could smell her shampoo.
Strawberry.
It felt like I was hypnotized and I kept walking closer to her but she didn't seem to acknowledge my presence. When I was finally behind her I buried my face into her neck inhaling while wrapping my arms around her waist trying hard not to grope her.
She was of course startled and screamed as she turned around to face me.
Her big emerald eyes appeared relieved when she saw it was me but she soon realized I had just seen her dancing in a towel.
Her eyes widened as she immediately blushed red. She looked and smelled like a strawberry.
I just want to eat her up.
I was trying not to lose it but I couldn't shake off the thought that there was only a towel keeping me from seeing all of her. I could just brush it off in a second and I would see all of her curves that I wanted to touch, kiss and rub on like crazy.
But I definitely wouldn't do that.
It's true I can't hold back my urges sometimes but I'm not that much of a pervert.
"A-Alex, when d-did you get here?" She stuttered adorably.
"A few minutes ago" I murmured still lost in a daze.
"I'm sorry, I-I should go cha-" I couldn't bare seeing her plump pink glossy lips moving and not kissing them anymore.
I pulled her closer and held the back of her head so she doesn't pull away. Her hands had a secure grip on the towel making her breasts pop up.
After a few seconds she seemed to be lost in the moment kissing back hesitantly. I was delighted to say the least. Her lips glided against mine and felt so soft, I just couldn't get enough of her.
She was my drug.
She dug her fingers into my hair which made me absolutely lose it and I let out a groan.
What really drove me crazy though were the quiet moans she would accidentally let out. I was so proud that I was the cause of her sweet noises.
I was having the hardest time trying not to rub against her.
"I need to get dressed" She said in between kisses. She pulled away quickly and ran to her room.
My baby. She made me moan just at the thought of her.
Gabriel was right about blue balls after all.