Q:How far is it possible to see Tom as the victim?
A: Tom is the narrator of the play so it is important to note that to some extent he will present himself as the victim to be excused from the obvious damage he must have caused by leaving his family behind, much of which audience can possibly predict based on the consequences of the father absence. Tom himself accepts that since 'the play is memory' it is 'sentimental, not realistic' and his acceptance: 'I give you the truth in the pleasant disguise of illusion' suggests that much of what he conveys is true.
It is not difficult to see Tom as a victim. We are shown how Amanda tries to control him in a way that makes his guilt worse by pointing out his selfishness. We see Amanda control what he reads by taking away his book by Mr Laurence, we see her nagging at him during dinner to chew properly and comparing him to animals who 'don't need to chew', she similarly compares him to animals when he opens up his heart to her and conveys how he wants to follow his instincts and she says 'instincts are for animals' continuing to give him the lecture of how they are Christians and how their duty comes before instincts while ironically he feels like a Christian martyr stuck in a coffin he cannot get out of without remaining the nails. While her behaviour might seem like that of an over protective mother it is important to note that Tom is portrayed as a grown man and the sole bread winner of the family. He at least deserves independence and space, further more Amanda's accusation of Tom not going to the movies (although probably not entirely untrue) gives the audience a sense that she mistrusts him.This mistrust probably stems from her experience with their father but it is cruel towards Tom to accuse him of such a thing when he works day to night at a shoe factory, crushing his dreams for the sake of Laura.
Another tragedy Tom faces is his alienation. He has a poet's heart, he is clearly not concern with stuff most men of his time are like science, sports and promotion. The one thing that does not alienate him from his gender is smoking and that too Amanda nags for him for. Williams relays that at the factory, before Jim's arrival, Tom's colleagues used to treat him with suspicion and even after Jim's warmness towards Tom reduced their coldness they still treated him as if he were a 'strange dog' to smile at but only from a distance. Unfortunately even Jim's friendship stems from the fact that Tom is probably the only one who remembers his glory days and is thus using him to remind himself of his significance and sadly enough Tom is aware of this. The audience sympathise with Tom, they consider his loneliness, how inexpressible he must have thought himself and start seeing him as a victim but it must be noted that his isolation is partly due to himself. He is so convinced that he will leave that he does not bother to make acquaintances and show enthusiasm in his work as is clear when Jim tells him to wake up before he ends up losing his job and he tells Jim that it does not matter as he will leave before that happens. As soon as he is fired he stays true to his word and is seen to leave everything behind in a flesh.
It was perhaps cruel of his father to have left Tom the responsibility of the family. We do not know how long ago he left exactly but perhaps he left when Tom was a child. In that case he has probably been under pressure, as the only male in the family, to soon be able to provide for them from an early age. Although this point can be argued with as it is seen that Amanda has tried to educate Laura by sending her to business school and has tried to urge Tom to go to night school, both of which would result in a comfortable living. Furthermore we see her attempt to advertise a magazine and sell subscriptions although that attempt was fruitless it does not seem as if she had forced Tom at an early age to join the factory, rather that he did it on his own accord and despite being dissatisfied he does not take any steps like Jim to improve his status rather he self-deludes himself with a dream of leaving his family and finding adventure which can be said is quite an unrealistic approach. The audience feel sentimental towards him but they feel as though he has an equal hand in his short comings.
Lastly, it can be noticed that Tom as the narrator does not entirely consider himself the victim, rather he considers Laura a victim. While he does seem to exaggerate Amanda's cruel behaviour it seems more cruel towards Laura then towards him as she is the one being forced to do things she does not want like Tom, but unlike Tom she is crippled and Amanda reminds her of that in rage, unlike Tom she is helpless and can not escape. Due to these reasons Tom feels as if he has wronged her by leaving her and accepts that he has acted as the culprit in this case as her memory haunts him and he is unable to forget her presence, her touch on his shoulder and her reflection on the translucent coloured glass. However this allows the audience to sympathise with Tom, here he is the most vulnerable in his confession and to the most human. Humans feel guilt and remorse, it is only natural to want to go back and to want to fix things. It is natural to want to convince ourselves of the reasons you did something and justify your actions like perhaps Tom's few moments of self-victimisation are actually condolences to himself in order to make peace with his memories.