The Wrong Number

By the_awesome_twosome

384K 27K 2.5K

HIGHEST: #6 IN HUMOR "Your command over sarcasm appalls me." "As does your ability to comprehend it." W... More

AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE
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7.2K 519 71
By the_awesome_twosome

10:10 pm, Ruhan: I asked Tanya how she'd gotten your number.
10:10 pm, Ruhan: She said it's an unknown contact in her phone.

10:10 pm, Ally: how convenient

10:11 pm, Ruhan: Can you maybe help me with that?

10:11 pm, Ally: I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave this one to you.

10:11 pm, Ruhan: What is it going to take for you to tell me who you are?

10:13 pm, Ally: a virgin sacrifice.

10:14 pm, Ruhan: great. Any ideas where I can find one?

10:15 pm, Ally:it's not likely you'll find one among the group you hang around with.

10:16 pm, Ruhan: I'm not complaining.

10:16 pm, Ally: you need help

10:17 pm, Ruhan: YOU need to tell me who you are.

10:19 pm, Ally: looks like your luck's run out, Das.

10:20 pm, Ruhan: Ur a girl right?

10:20 pm, Ally: last time I checked.

10:20 pm, Ruhan: Have we dated?

10:21 pm, Ally: God no.

10:22 pm, Ruhan: have we made out?

10:23 pm, Ally:I'm slightly concerned that this is coming after my last answer but no, we haven't

10:23 pm, Ruhan: Do I even KNOW you?

10:23 pm, Ally: well if by 'know' you mean 'sexually interacted with' then the answer is most definitely an irrefutable NO.

10:24 pm, Ruhan: you say that like it's a good thing.

10:25 pm, Ally: isn't it though?

10:25 pm, Ruhan: ouch, babe. Just ouch :'(

10:26 pm, Ally:again with the babe thing? I thought we'd crossed this bridge.

10:27 pm, Ruhan: you seem least worried about the fact that you hurt the feelings of another human being.

10:28 pm, Ally: aw, does wittle Ruhan have a boo-boo? Does he need a smoochie?

10:28 pm, Ruhan: actually, now that you mention it...

10:30 pm, Ally: Ruhan, I will pay for the therapy you so desperately need.

10:31 pm, Ruhan: make fun all you want, but underneath this tough-as-nails shell, I'm actually a very sensitive guy.

10:31 pm, Ally: nice. Do you say this to all the girls you meet?

10:32 pm, Ruhan: only those who insist on remaining anonymous.

10:32 pm, Ally: oh ha ha

10:32 pm, Ruhan: if my telepathic powers fail me not, I think like the idea of kissing my boo-boos away

10:35 pm, Ally:Your telepathic powers are non-existent
10:35pm, Ally: excuse me while I mentally puke

10:36 pm, Ruhan: wouldn't YOU like to get your hands on this delicious piece of art

10:37 pm, Ally: there goes my dinner. Total brain hurl.
10:41 pm, Ally: it's been a real pleasure, Mr. Das, like always. But I've got a trigonometry test tomorrow and I'm going to need to study if I want to pass.

10:41 pm, Ruhan: good night, Anonymous Lover.

10:41 pm, Ally: good night, delusional Neanderthal.

10:42 pm, Ruhan: If I'm a Neanderthal, you're an Australopithecus

10:42 pm, Ally:I see you know your natural history pretty well. I'll admit I'm impressed

10:43 pm, Ruhan: are you kidding? Girls fall hard for smart guys. I start spouting some big words from a dictionary and before you know it girls are begging to be a part of my vocabulary.
10:43 pm, Ruhan: if u know what I mean ;)

10:44 pm, Ally: aannnd we're back. Go to sleep and leave me in peace.

*****


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