About a week after Draco had his earth-shattering revelation, Harry accidentally had an epiphany of his own.
Christmas with the Weasleys had been wonderful. Most of the family had shown up for the holidays, with the notable exceptions of Percy, who no one mentioned, and Bill, who hadn't been able to get away from his job but had promised to show up for New Years. Seeing the twins again had been fun, and Harry couldn't help wishing they were still at Hogwarts.
The days of break sped by faster than Harry would have liked, but he was glad to see Hermione again when New Year's Eve rolled around.
He was also rather glad to see Bill, who had shown up with Fleur almost immediately after Hermione.
Harry's epiphany occurred sometime during dinner, though he really shouldn't have been so surprised by it. He'd always liked Bill, ever since he'd first met him before his fourth year. Having him and Mrs. Weasley there to support him during the third task later that year had been a huge relief. And really, Harry thought as he drank from his glass, hadn't the first word he'd thought of the first time he'd seen the man been cool? Harry couldn't help the way his gaze kept falling on Bill throughout the meal, and it finally occurred to him during dessert that he was staring at Bill the same way Hermione was. And she had the same look in her eyes that Ron did as he gazed longingly at Fleur.
Harry promptly choked as his pumpkin juice went down the wrong tube, and it took both of his aforementioned friends pounding on his back for him to be able to breathe again.
"Harry, what happened back there?" Hermione asked later when she, Ron, and Harry were all sitting in Ron's room. "You still look like you've seen a ghost or something."
"Harry sees ghosts all the time, what's that got to do with anything?" Ron asked in confusion. Hermione huffed and rolled her eyes.
"Muggle phrase," she said, waving off the question and focusing on Harry. "Harry, what's wrong?"
It took a few seconds for the boy to answer as he sat there with a stunned expression on his face, but eventually he blurted out, "I'm gay," in an awed sort of voice. Hermione and Ron sat quietly, waiting expectantly for more, but when no explanation came they glanced at each other.
"Um, Harry," Ron said slowly. "We know. You've told us that already."
"No," Harry shook his head slightly, "no, I mean I'm really gay. Not just...just- How did you put it, Ron? Malfoy-sexual?" Hermione snorted and Ron grinned.
"Yeah, that's right. Wait... You mean...?" he trailed off, staring at Harry, who nodded slowly.
"I'm just...attracted to boys...in general," he declared softly. "Or at least I think so."
"And how did this occur to you?" Hermione asked, looking interested. Harry looked sheepish, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.
"Well," he started to say, focusing on Hermione so he could avoid looking at Ron, "I was...staring at...at Bill...and..." Hermione immediately grinned.
"He's gorgeous, isn't he?" she gushed. Harry bit his lip slightly, blushing, and nodded. Ron groaned.
"Awww, Harry!" he moaned, wrinkling his nose. "You're not supposed to find my brothers attractive!"
"He's more than attractive," Hermione said, smiling widely. Ron gave her a disgruntled look.
"He really is, Ron," Harry added hesitantly. "I guess I've always thought so... Just...his hair! It...it-"
"Begs for you to run your hands through it?" Hermione offered slyly. Harry laughed.
"Yes!" he exclaimed. "And I love his earring. It's brilliant!"
"Did you see his biceps?" Hermione asked eagerly. "God, they're probably hard as rock."
"Mhmm, and he probably has amazing abs, too," Harry mused.
"And he has the most beautiful eyes-"
"I know! It's like, when he's looking at you he sees nothing else in the room-"
"OH MY GOD, SHUT UP!" Ron yelled suddenly. "No no no, I refuse to listen to both of you raving about how good my brother looks!" Harry and Hermione glanced at each other in bewilderment, before they both burst out laughing. "Merlin, you sound like a bunch of bloody girls," Ron continued to mutter, and that only made his two friends laugh harder.
"Oh, s-sorry, R-Ron," Harry managed to get out through his laughter. "It's just...he is-"
"I don't care what he is," Ron said loudly, which only set Harry and Hermione off again. Ron sighed, crossing his arms, and waited for them to quiet down. When they finally did, he asked in an annoyed tone, "Are you quite finished?" Both of them nodded. "Good. Ok, Harry, here's what I don't understand. You said you think you've always thought Bill was...attractive?"
"I think so," Harry answered, nodding.
"Well, you met him before fourth year," Ron pointed out. "But you had a crush on Cho that year."
"The thing about Cho," Hermione interrupted, deciding to throw her two cents in, "is that she's rather...boyish. Not in looks!" she added quickly when Harry opened his mouth to protest. "But think about it. The first time you really noticed her was during a Quidditch match, wasn't it? And how can anyone look pretty and girly in a Quidditch uniform?"
"I thought she had a very pretty face!" Harry said in an affronted tone. Hermione rolled her eyes.
"She was just another one of the guys, but with more feminine qualities! Don't you change in the same room as your female teammates?" she asked.
"Well...we shower in different rooms..."
"That's not what I asked. Look, I'm just saying that while you're on the pitch or during a game or something, the girls on your team are just other teammates!"
"Of course they are!" Ron spoke up, frowning a little. "We can't treat them as girls on the field, they'd kill us! You have to treat everybody equally."
"Exactly!" Hermione exclaimed. "So Cho was just another player when you first saw her. I doubt very much that you fell for her because of her girlish figure." Harry frowned as he considered this.
"But...ok, so that was third year. But I did try to ask her to the Yule Ball in fourth year!"
"Yes," Hermione said slowly. "But she was already going with-"
"Cedric," Harry said softly. "Why did he have to fall for her? He was good looking enough that he could have had any girl he wanted- Oh God." Harry's eyes went wide, and Hermione grinned.
"Ron, do you think Cedric was good looking?" she asked slyly.
"Eh," Ron's nose wrinkled. "How the bloody hell would I know?" Hermione looked at Harry with raised eyebrows.
"Bollocks," Harry muttered, looking shocked. "Do you think I was jealous of him?" Hermione shrugged.
"You might have been," she said. "Because when you finally had a shot with Cho last year...it just didn't go very well, did it?" Harry pursed his lips.
"Well she always wanted to talk about Cedric- fuck!"
"And when you kissed her..." Ron said slowly, finally catching on.
"You could only describe it as wet," Hermione finished triumphantly.
"She was crying!" Harry exclaimed indignantly.
"Mate, a kiss is a kiss," Ron said, laughing slightly. "You should have enjoyed it at least a little."
"So...so are trying to tell me that I've always been gay?" Harry asked in disbelief.
"You did ditch Parvati at the Yule Ball," Ron pointed out. "One of the prettiest girls in our year and you completely blew her off-"
"Says the boy who didn't look twice at Padma," Harry sniped. Ron blushed and stole a quick glance at Hermione, who was looking amused. "But then again we all know what the reason for that was," Harry added, smirking. Ron's blush deepened.
"Harry, love, the point is most people don't just turn gay," Hermione said gently, reaching over to pat the boy on the knee. "So yes, you've probably always been more attracted to boys than girls, but you've just never had the chance to really realize it." Harry frowned.
"Wow," Ron said quietly, watching as his friend slid sideways from a sitting position to instead lie on his back on the bed. The boy covered his face with his hands and groaned loudly.
"Are you ok?" Hermione asked softly. Harry nodded, still covering his face.
"It's just...a bit much to take in," he said in a muffled voice. "I mean, it's one thing to admit that I like Draco-"
"Oh, so now it's Draco?" Ron muttered.
"-but it's totally different to realize that I'll probably never be attracted to any girls." Hermione patted his knee again, and the three sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes.
"So did you send Draco a Christmas present?" Hermione asked eventually, hand still resting on Harry's knee. Ron's was staring at it with a furrowed brow, but Harry hadn't seemed to notice it was there.
"No," he replied, voice still muffled. Then he moved his hands and peered up at Hermione curiously. "Why would I do that?"
"Because," Hermione said exasperatedly, "it would have been a nice thing to do. And I'm sure Draco would have appreciated it." Ron snorted.
"You think?" Harry asked doubtfully.
"Oh, don't tell me you're actually considering it?" Ron groaned.
"Well it's a bit late for Christmas, isn't it? Of course I'm not!" Harry assured him.
"You could send him a New Years card," Hermione suggested. Harry and Ron stared at her blankly.
"Do people send New Years cards?" Harry asked, blinking. Ron shrugged.
"Oh, come on! It'll be fun!" Hermione exclaimed, bouncing off the bed to dig around through Ron's school supplies. The redhead gave Harry a look, making the boy roll his eyes. "Where's your parchment, Ron- ah! Found it!" She emerged triumphant with a roll of parchment and a quill. "Now we just have to think of what to say."
"Hermione, he's not a girl," Harry said, watching as his friend set up all the writing utensils around her. "I really don't think he's going to appreciate a...a love letter as much as, say, Lavender or Parvati." Hermione sent him a quick glare, so he hurriedly added, "Or you!"
"It's not a love letter," Hermione said briskly, tapping the quill against her chin. "You'll just write something simple. You know, Happy New Years, Draco! Can't wait to see you when school starts up again!" Ron and Harry grimaced.
"I know I'd never want to receive a letter like that," Ron muttered. Hermione sighed exasperatedly.
"Well then what do you think it should say?" she huffed.
"How about nothing," Ron suggested, "since Harry won't be sending him a letter in the first place!"
"Harry?" Hermione asked, ignoring Ron. Harry stared at her contemplatively for a few seconds, and then finally let out a long sigh and sat up.
"Give me the parchment," he said tiredly, and, grinning, Hermione handed it over. Harry wrote for awhile, then stared at the parchment for a long moment before scratching out all of two sentences and then handing it back. Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Is that all?" she asked. Harry nodded, so, pursing her lips, she read over what he'd written. Her brow furrowed. "I meant what I said at the station. Hope you've had a good break. –H. That's it? You can't even be bothered to sign your whole name? And what did you say at the station?"
"I'm pretty sure he'll know who 'H' is," Harry said dryly. "And what I said to him isn't any of your business." Ron and Hermione blinked, staring at him. "Really, it wasn't important." They were still silent. Harry started fidgeting. "It's not...it doesn't mean anyth..." he trailed off, squirming under the scrutiny of his two friends, and finally he caved. "I just...told him that I'd...miss him," Harry said sheepishly. Hermione squealed excitedly, clasping her hands together, and Ron cringed.
"And he punched you for it, I hope?" he asked.
"I uh...didn't really give him a chance to reply," Harry said, blushing. Ron rolled his eyes, and Hermione squealed again.
"You're too sweet, Harry," she grinned, rolling up Harry's letter. "Somehow, I think this'll be more than enough for Draco. And it's the thought that counts anyway, right? Ron, get me a ribbon." Ron frowned, but did as told. Digging through his drawers, he came up with a bedraggled looking red ribbon and handed it to Harry.
"Um," Harry glanced at Hermione, then back at the ribbon, "I don't...I don't think a red ribbon is a good idea."
"So sorry," Ron said sarcastically, crossing his arms. "Let me pull out my supply and you can pick a different one!"
"What would you prefer, Harry?" Hermione asked.
"You wouldn't happen to have a...a green one, would you?" Harry asked hopefully. Ron groaned for the umpteenth and collapsed face first onto the bed. Hermione giggled, brushing her hair back from her face.
"I'll go ask Ginny," she offered, and then strode out of the room. Ron turned to look at Harry, eying him for a few seconds.
"Harry. You know I really don't mind, right?" he asked. Harry blinked.
"I know," he said.
"No, I want you to know that I really don't. You're my best mate, and nothing will ever change that. Even if things work out with the Ferret or even if, God forbid, you somehow shack up with one of my brothers," Ron sat up, smiling a little. "We've always been there for each other-"
"You more than me," Harry interrupted, shifting in slight embarrassment. He was smiling though. "I've dragged you into more trouble-"
"Ah, so we've had some mishaps along the way," Ron waved Harry off, grinning now. "That we're still best mates says something, don't you think?" Harry nodded, shoving his hands beneath his thighs as his feet dangled off the bed. Ron swung an arm around Harry's shoulders. "And nothing will ever change that, ok?" Harry nodded, grinning widely. He hadn't realized he'd been slightly worried about it until the relief swept through him at Ron's words.
"Thanks, Ron," he said softly. Ron tightened his arm briefly before releasing Harry.
"Just...don't give me the details of your sex life, ok?" Ron said, laughing. Harry chuckled.
"Ok," he agreed. Hermione appeared in the doorway with a green ribbon clenched in her hand.
"Got it!" she exclaimed. Both Harry and Ron grinned at her.
* * *
Draco, sweetheart, you know I'll love you no matter what, right?
"Draco."
You do what you need to do. Your father made his choices, and not that I particularly agree or disagree with them... I just... I don't want you to end up...
Like him?
I don't want you to regret anything.
"...Draco?"
You're my son. My one and only precious child. Please...please don't leave me... Don't abandon me like your father did!
He didn't abandon you, he stood up for his beliefs-
And look where it got him! The Dark Lord is not what he used to be. I love you and I don't want to see anything happen to you.
So you expect me to take the cowardly route?
"Draaaacooo..."
...I'll love you no matter what...
"DRACO!"
"What?" Draco snapped, turning in his seat to look at Pansy. The girl held up her hands defensively.
"Whoa, sorry! It's just...you were kind of zoning out. And you've been fiddling with that parchment so much it looks like it's about to fall apart," Pansy said, looking concerned. "Is everything ok? You're not usually so quiet." Draco frowned, turning to look out the window as the scenery flew by.
"I'm worried about my mother," he admitted, shoving the aforementioned parchment into one of his robe pockets.
"We just left the station twenty minutes ago, how can you be worried about her?" Pansy asked. Draco shrugged.
"Just...a feeling." The door to their compartment opened and Blaise strode through with Crabbe and Goyle following him, the two latter boys with arms full of sweets from the trolley. "You couldn't have waited until she came around?" Draco asked as Blaise dropped into the seat next to him. The boy grinned, snatching a pumpkin pastry from Goyle and biting into it.
"Nah, I'm hungry now," he said. "Theo's coming with drinks." As soon as he said this, the door slid open again and Theodore walked through with Millicent following him. Draco went back to looking out the window.
"So guess who we ran into?" Theodore spoke up as he settled into his seat. Blaise looked at him.
"Who?"
"Who do you think?" Millicent smirked. "Would anyone else really be worth mentioning?" Pansy's eyes lit up.
"Did you see Potter?" she asked excitedly. Draco's hand unconsciously flew to his pocket. Millicent nodded.
"He was wandering around by himself; told us Weasley and Granger were already doing their Prefect duties," the girl said. "Load of bull, if you ask me."
"You talked to him?" Draco asked, looking away from the window to level his stare on Theo. The boy shrugged.
"He asked me how bad my hangover was that Sunday," he said.
"He also said that he and Theo would have to get together sometime, seeing as how he knows practically Theo's entire life story and Theo knows next to nothing about him," Millicent added, smirking. "You're such a talkative drunk, aren't you, Theodore?" she cooed sarcastically. Theodore scowled, crossing his arms, and Blaise laughed.
"I couldn't get you to shut up!" he exclaimed. "You were so bloody annoying!"
"Better to be talkative than possessive," Pansy spoke up, grinning. Beside her Draco frowned, cheeks going slightly pink.
"Or talkative and possessive," Blaise amended, and everyone in the compartment started laughing. Draco's frown deepened.
"It's not Draco's fault if he's a jealous, ranting drunk," Crabbe said loudly. Everyone paused, turning to look at him. After all, it wasn't that he or Goyle were too stupid to contribute to the conversation...they just usually didn't. "I mean, take away Greg's beer and he'll start throwing fists at anyone in the vicinity. It's just how they are."
"Thank you, Crabbe, for that very important piece of insight," Draco said sarcastically after a couple seconds of silence. Crabbe nodded, and Draco reached into his pocket to pull out the parchment he'd been looking at earlier. He'd only had it for a few days, but it was already well-worn and full of creases from where he'd folded it over and over.
"Draco, what is that?" Pansy finally asked, reaching over in an attempt to snatch it from him. Draco held it out of her reach.
"Not that it's any of your business," he replied, "but it's a letter."
"A letter?" Blaise repeated. "From who?"
"Like I said," Draco scowled, "it's none of your business."
"Is it from Haaaaarry?" Pansy asked in a sing-song sort of voice. Draco sneered at her.
"Ooooohh, Draco! Is Potter sending you love letters?" Millicent asked, grinning.
"No!" Draco said vehemently. "Of course not! Why, did he say something about it?"
"About the letter he didn't send you?" Theo smirked. "No, but he asked how you were."
"He did?" Draco asked, despite himself. Then he blushed. "I mean- That prat, what does he give a fuck about me for? I think he's getting a bit...a bit obsessive."
"Says the boy who's probably read that letter at least two hundred times," Blaise muttered. Draco punched his shoulder and Blaise started laughing.
"Fucking Potter," Draco spat, shoving the letter back into his pocket again and crossing his arms.
"S'what you're good at, isn't it?" Millicent asked with a raised eyebrow. Draco spluttered indignantly, and Pansy came to his rescue, giggling.
"Come on, honey," she said, grabbing his arm and dragging him to the door. "There's a Prefect meeting we need to get to."
The meeting was boring, as always. Pansy hung around for a bit afterwards, and Draco didn't realize why until it was only he, Pansy, and the Gryffindors left in the room. He frowned.
"Granger!" Pansy said happily, rushing towards her...friend? Draco grimaced. Is that what they were now?
"Pansy, hi!" Hermione said, sounding just as happy. "How was your break?"
"Boring," Pansy replied, shaking her short hair out of her face. "And yours?"
"It was alright. Much better once I got to the Weasleys." Hermione looked around behind her, gesturing her friend forward. "Ron come say hello!" Ron stepped up, looking almost as annoyed as Draco felt.
"Hi," he said slowly, almost warily. Hermione sighed, and she and Pansy shared a look that made Draco very uncomfortable.
"Well, Granger and I are going to go do rounds," Pansy said cheerfully. Draco's and Ron's eyes went wide.
"What- Hermione!" Ron exclaimed.
"Pansy, it's one thing to try and set me up with Potter," Draco said dangerously, "But if think I want anything to do with Weasley-"
"Hey, the feeling's mutual, Ferret!"
"Oh, fuck off, Weasel!"
"Boys!" Hermione interrupted snappishly, and Ron and Draco gave her such identically affronted looks that she couldn't help the laughter that bubbled from her lips. Pansy grinned next to her.
"Really, don't you think it's high time we put our differences behind us?" she asked.
"Hermione," Ron said, putting a hand over his eyes. "I hate to agree with Malfoy...but...what are you two? Hogwarts' junior peace corps?"
"Ohh, there's an idea, Granger!" Pansy said excitedly. "We could start a club."
"You might start by calling her Hermione," Ron grumbled. Pansy rolled her eyes.
"Fine then, Hermione, shall we go?" she asked before leading the way out of the compartment. Hermione grinned and sent Ron a short wave before following the other girl.
This left the two boys standing in awkward silence, looks of disbelief on their faces.
"I can't believe they just left us," Ron muttered. Draco sneered at him, hand slipping into his pocket.
"The sooner we get this over with the better," he snapped, all but stomping out the door. Ron followed at a distance.
"So did you get Harry's letter?" he asked casually. Draco spun around so quickly he tripped on his robes and stumbled into the wall. Ron snorted.
"What letter?" Draco asked hastily, pushing himself off the wall. Ron quirked an eyebrow at him.
"The one that Harry sent you," he repeated dryly. Draco glanced off to the side, frowning, and then glared at Ron.
"Does he tell you everything?" he asked rhetorically, running a hand through his hair.
"Yep," Ron replied. "Everything." There was something about the way he said it that made Draco blink and look at him. His brow furrowed.
"Ev...everything?" he repeated uncertainly. Ron smirked.
"Eeeverything," he confirmed. Draco cursed.
"Fucking hell!" he spat, hands closing into fists.
"So you got the letter, then?" Ron said, smiling in a self-satisfied sort of way.
"I might have," Draco snapped, crossing his arms. "What's it to you?"
"What's it to me?" Ron frowned. "Look, I'm sure I don't need to tell you that he's my best mate, right?" The boy stepped forward, and Draco belatedly realized that he was now unwillingly trapped against the wall. He glared up at the Gryffindor, annoyed that the redhead was so much taller then himself. "So if you do anything, anything to hurt him-"
"Ron?" somebody interrupted, and Draco's eyes went wide as Ron backed away quickly.
"Hey, Harry," Ron said innocently. Draco stared straight ahead, refusing to look at the new arrival. Harry walked forward, looking questioningly at Ron.
"What were you-" Then he caught sight of Draco, and he stopped abruptly. "Draco," he breathed, and despite himself Draco's eyes were immediately drawn to him.
He'd never felt so uncomfortable in Harry's presence before in his life.
"Well, I think I'll just go continue my rounds," Ron said loudly. Neither of the other two boys looked at him, so he shrugged and ambled off down the corridor, whistling. Harry stepped towards Draco, who in turn tried to flatten himself against the wall.
"Draco," Harry said again. The blond sucked in a breath. "Did you-"
"Yes, I got your bloody letter!" Draco unwittingly snapped. Harry blinked and took half a step back and Draco suddenly found himself reaching toward him. "Wait!" Both boys paused, Draco's arm hanging in midair before it dropped back to his side. "I got your letter," he said again, softly. His brow furrowed. "It was a bit short, though."
"I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you," Harry grinned awkwardly. "I'm not a very wordy sort of bloke."
"Good," Draco smirked, crossing his arms. "Because if you'd sent me flowers and poems I would have tossed them into the fire." Harry raised an eyebrow.
"So I take it you didn't do that with my letter?" he asked, amused. Draco blinked, pursing his lips.
"I might not have," he said, resting his head back against the wall. Harry beamed at him. "Not that I framed it or anything," Draco quickly added.
"Of course not," Harry smirked. "So...how was your break?"
"It was...interesting," Draco replied, glancing off to the side. He couldn't believe it had been three weeks since he'd seen Harry. Most of the days had been unbearably long with only his mother as company.
And if Harry didn't kiss him in the next five seconds...
Draco jerked, blinking rapidly and wondering where that thought had come from.
"And...how was yours?" he asked. Harry shrugged.
"It was fun. I got to see Ron's oldest brothers again. Do you know who any of them are?" Draco shook his head. "Ah, well, Bill's incredibly fit-" Draco's eyes shot towards Harry and narrowed. "-but he's going out with Fleur Delacour. From the Triwizard Tournament. Do you remember her?" How could Draco not remember her? His dorm mates had been drooling over her for months-
Wait.
Draco frowned. That was right, wasn't it? He hadn't looked twice at the part-veela, though his friends wouldn't shut up about her.
Damn, he hated picking up all the little signs that really should have clued him into something earlier.
"Well goody for Bill," Draco drawled.
"Yeah..." Harry murmured, shifting awkwardly. They stared at each other for a couple of silent seconds, and then suddenly they were kissing, mouths meeting hungrily and tongues twining together while their hands gripped at loose clothing. Neither boy was sure who had moved first, but it didn't matter as they pressed themselves closer together, each desperate to be near the other as they sucked and tasted and reveled in what felt like the first time they'd kissed in years...
A door opening somewhere along the hall made them break apart hastily.
"We can't do this here," Draco said quickly, and then wondered why he wanted to do it anywhere at all. But for once he told that part of his brain to fuck off.
"Right," Harry nodded. "There was an empty compartment in the back. Come on." The thought briefly flashed through Draco's mind that, holy fuck, he was about to have sex on a train, but he ignored that too and allowed himself to be dragged down the hall.
Harry poked his head into three different compartments before finally finding an unoccupied one. Slamming the door behind him, he unceremoniously pushed Draco up against the wall and was instantly kissing him again. Draco made a valiant attempt at holding the boy off for about two seconds, and then he was groaning and wrapping one arm around Harry's neck, submitting to that eager warmth and wetness that was just so Harry.
It was hard to admit exactly how much he missed this...
Draco traced his other hand down Harry's chest, trying to push his robes aside as the other boy helped eagerly, slipping the robes off his shoulders as best he could without breaking the kiss. Draco grinned against his lips.
"I've heard that having sex only makes you about twenty times hornier afterwards," he murmured when Harry finally pulled back so he could work at the tiny buttons on Draco's shirt. "But I never actually believed it."
"And do you now?" Harry asked, running his hands down the smooth planes of Draco's chest. The blond closed his eyes and tilted his head back against the wall, swallowing as Harry kissed frantically at his chest, tongue brushing teasingly against a nipple.
"Honestly, I've never wanked so many times in my own home before," he admitted, his breath already coming in short gasps. "I'm always afraid my Mother will walk in on me. Didn't...didn't deter me this time." Harry looked up at him and chuckled.
"Finding a private place for any decent amount of time is damn near impossible at the Weasleys," he said as he straightened back up again. The Gryffindor smirked, rolling his hips forward against the other boy's to demonstrate his rather obvious arousal. "So now that finally we have some privacy, enough talking, eh?"
With that, Harry claimed Draco's lips again, slipping his tongue past them to finally, finally explore the other boy's mouth properly. Draco groaned, thrusting back against Harry, and he deepened the kiss further. They stayed like that for a few moments, tongues sliding sensuously together and hips rutting against one another's as Harry wrapped his arms tightly around Draco's waist, wanting to prolong the moment for as long as possible. His hands were hot against Draco's skin, and the blond groaned again as he practically melted into the other boy, losing himself in the feeling of Harry hard up against him, the spicy smell of his skin and hair assaulting his senses almost as thoroughly as his tongue was.
Draco slipped his own hands beneath the front of Harry's shirt, tracing the slightly defined muscles of his stomach. Harry's breath hitched and he backed away, causing Draco to blink in bewilderment. His confusion didn't last long though because Harry then dropped to his knees and pushed Draco flat against the wall. Hands worked quickly at the Slytherin's belt and zipper and before Draco could so much as blink again, Harry's warm, wet mouth was, oh fuck, surrounding his cock.
Gasping, Draco thrust forward so he could bury himself in that heat. Harry chuckled around his member and the vibrations from the back of his throat sent shocks of pleasure up Draco's spine.
"Oh God, fuck, Potter!" he panted, throwing his head back against the wall. His feet slid further apart, widening his stance, and Harry pressed closer so he could take all of him into his mouth. Draco gasped again, twining his hands into Harry's unruly hair as arousal pooled in his groin and dear God, how had he survived without this for three weeks?
"You like that?" Harry asked around the tip of Draco's cock, even though the answer was plainly obvious. He supplemented the question with a quick swirl of his tongue, rendering Draco to moans of mingled frustration and desire before Harry chuckled again and bobbed his head, sucking and running his tongue along the underside of Draco's length. "Do you have any idea how many times I fantasized about doing this to you while we were on break?" he asked as Draco moaned at the further loss of contact.
"Ah...well then...stop talking...and start s-s-sucking, Potter..." Draco gasped, bucking his hips involuntarily.
Harry very willingly obliged, swallowing him right down to the root and feeling his own cock twitching almost painfully against the prison of his trousers as Draco let out a low, guttural moan.
Nothing, Harry quickly decided, was quite as erotic as sucking a lusty and extremely hard Draco Malfoy off.
He made quick work of the Slytherin after that, swirling his tongue at the tip, then dipping his head right down before sucking back up again and again and again as they swayed back and forth with the train. Draco moaned, bucking his hips almost continuously into the other boy's mouth until he just couldn't stand it anymore and he felt what seemed like all of his muscles seizing up and then convulsing as his body was wracked from head to toe, spilling salty-hot liquid down the back of Harry's throat in wave after wave of pleasure.
Harry pulled back, wiping absently at his mouth, and peered up at Draco.
"Alright?" he asked, though Draco knew full well the prat knew it had been amazing.
"Alright," he answered shakily, nonetheless. Then his legs gave out on him and he slid down the wall into a sitting position, Harry still in between his thighs. The boy grinned as he leaned forward to kiss Draco, and it had to have been one of the weirdest things Draco had ever experienced when he tasted the bitter-saltiness of himself in Harry's mouth.
When they separated again, Draco's hand immediately found its way into Harry's pants, and he'd soon curled his fingers around the velvety skin of Harry's hard cock. The Gryffindor gasped as pleasure instantly shot through him and he leaned forward, resting his forehead in the crook of Draco's neck.
"Draco, please..." Harry moaned, and Draco's lips twitched and he began going at Harry with long, slow pulls. He slid his palm over the slippery head before stroking downwards and squeezing, while sliding his other hand up under Harry's shirt and over his deliciously smooth skin.
He gradually sped up as Harry gasped and groaned, gritting his teeth as the boy's warm breath first brushed against his skin in quickening gasps, then became hot and damp as Harry pressed his open mouth to his throat. Draco's hand faltered when Harry began sucking gently at his skin and he shivered, but an urgent thrust of Harry's hips soon had him back in action. Draco tightened his hand and twisted, pulling at Harry even faster as the other boy's nails dug into the back of his neck. Then, oh Gods, he was trembling against him and moaning and coming, pulsing with heat and sticky wetness into his hand and Draco hadn't recalled the gooey-warm feeling of Harry's come on him feeling quite so...erotically good.
Breathing heavily, Harry didn't move his head from Draco's neck. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Draco's waist and pulled the boy so close to his body that Draco practically ended up right in Harry's lap. Draco jerked at the unexpected move, clutching the back of Harry's shirt for balance. Then he relaxed slowly against the other boy, resting his chin on Harry's shoulder and crossing his legs behind his back.
They stayed like that, for how long neither boy knew, but eventually Harry lifted his head and pressed a soft kiss against Draco's lips. Then he leaned back on his hands and gave the blond a thoughtful look.
"...What?" Draco asked warily, narrowing his eyes slightly. He was still gripping the back of Harry's shirt. Harry smiled, shrugging a little.
"Nothing," he replied. Draco finally pulled back, mirroring Harry's position as he leaned on his own hands. "We should talk," Harry said eventually.
"So talk," Draco retorted, tilting his head back to look at the ceiling.
"No... I mean about us," Harry clarified. Draco groaned, abruptly uncrossing his legs from around the Gryffindor and pushing himself to his feet.
"What's there to talk about?" he asked, turning away as he did up his zipper. Harry shifted, sitting cross-legged now and leaning on his knees.
"Well, what we're doing, for one," he said in a 'this-should-be-obvious-to-you' kind of tone. Draco paused with one arm through his robe, and glanced at Harry.
"We're not doing anything, Potter."
"The fuck we aren't!" Harry exclaimed, also rising to his feet. "Draco-"
"Malfoy."
"Draco-"
"What?!" Draco snapped, whirling around to face Harry. "What? What do you want me to say?"
"Why are you being so difficult all of a sudden?!" Harry yelled, crossing his arms in annoyance.
"Because this is who I am!" Draco yelled right back. "Because that's how I've always been and it's how I'll always be! Did you think I was suddenly going to be different? That I'd suddenly be all flowers and sunshine for you?"
"What- No!" Harry blinked, his brow furrowing.
"What do you want from me?!" Draco continued obliviously. "What could you possibly want from me? What did you think would come from this?!"
"I don't- I wasn't- Draco!"
"Just because you're fucking Harry Potter you think you'll get fucking everything presented to you on a fucking silver platter! Well, not me! I'm not just going to fall into your arms. I've got duties and-and obligations to my family, to the Malfoy name-"
"Fuck, Draco, what the hell are you talking about?!" Harry interrupted loudly, finally getting the other boy's attention. Draco glared at him, breathing heavily. "It's not like I'm...like I'm asking for your hand in marriage here. I just-"
"You just what?" Draco sneered. "What, exactly, are you expecting, Potter?"
"I'm not expecting anything!" Harry insisted. "What the fuck is your problem?"
"So what, you want to be fuck-buddies? Is that it?"
"God- no. Where are you coming up with all this?" Harry asked, honestly confused. He looked at Draco helplessly. "I'm not asking you to turn on your family, I never even thought of that!" Draco gave him a pointed look, and Harry conceded with a roll of his eyes, "Ok, Voldemort is not your family. I mean...you can go off and get married and have a million Malfoy babies or whatever. That's not something I want you to give up!"
"...Then what is it you want?" Draco asked uncertainly. Harry sighed, looking away.
"I don't know..." he said softly. "To date? To go out, to...to do stuff together? To-"
"To be boyfriends?" Draco asked doubtfully, raising his eyebrows.
"To be a couple," Harry said adamantly. "Like normal people." Draco let out a short laugh.
"Potter, we are not normal people," he muttered. "We're gay." Harry opened his mouth to retort to that, but he paused suddenly.
"...We're?" he repeated. Draco blinked, and his eyes widened slightly.
"You're," he corrected himself quickly. "You're gay." Harry raised an eyebrow, so Draco hastily continued, "And anyway, you're the fucking boy-who-lived and I'm the son of a convicted Death Eater... What could possibly come of that?"
"Nothing, I guess," Harry shrugged, still eying him shrewdly. "But if you're supposed to go off and continue the Malfoy name, then I guess that's alright. I mean, it'd have to be alright...right?" Draco frowned, crossing his arms. "We have a year-and-a-half of school left," Harry pointed out. "That's more than enough time to have a...fling? Short-term relationship?"
"An affair?" Draco asked in a low voice. Harry shrugged again, looking away.
"If that's what you want..." he said quietly, fiddling with the bottom of his shirt.
"And we'd keep it a secret?" Draco asked in the same tone as before. Harry winced almost unnoticeably, but nodded. "You wouldn't tell anyone?"
"God, Malfoy, whatever you want," Harry said tiredly.
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT!" Draco exploded, arms falling from across his chest as his hands curled into fists at his sides. "THAT'S NOT. FUCKING. ENOUGH!" Startled, Harry actually took half a step back, blinking rapidly.
"What the hell do you want, then?!" he exclaimed.
"A fucking lot more than that," Draco spat. "What is it with everyone and their flings and affairs? First Pansy and now you! You think I can just...just give this up?" He spread his arms out wide. "It's who I am! It's a fucking part of me now! I can't just go around dating blokes for two years and then up and marry some girl." Harry blinked again.
"Huh?"
"Oh, for the love of-" Draco grimaced. "Would you like me to spell it out for you?" He sighed, arms dropping back to his side. "I like boys, ok? I do. Thanks very much in part to Pansy who had to go and scare the last of the girl-love out of me."
"Um..." Harry's brow furrowed.
"Don't hurt yourself over it," Draco muttered, moving quickly towards the door. His cheeks felt warm as he recalled what he'd just said. Admitted. And not just about being gay. Had he really just told Harry that he wanted more than what Harry had offered? Did he want more? Draco wasn't sure. He wasn't sure about anything anymore.
"Draco, wait!" Harry said, hurriedly throwing himself in front of the door. "You can't say something like that and then just leave." Draco frowned, pausing inches from Harry.
"Potter, let me out," he practically growled.
"No," Harry refused, shaking his head. "We're going to talk this over-"
"There's nothing to talk about," Draco said, turning away slightly. Harry's brow furrowed.
"Did you mean it?" he asked.
"That I'm gay? Yes," Draco replied testily, crossing his arms.
"No, not that. I mean, I'm glad you told me, but...I...the other thing you said," Harry tried to catch Draco's eyes, but the boy was stubbornly looking away. "You want more than a relationship that would last a year-and-a-half? That's...that's a long time, you know..." Draco pursed his lips, glaring at Harry from the corner of his eye.
"I know, and I doubt we'd actually last longer than a week-"
"Oy!"
"-but that's not the point!" Draco turned and faced Harry fully. "If we're going to try and start something, the last thing we should do is put a time limit on it!" Harry stared at him.
"Ok, who are you and what have you done with Draco Malfoy?" he quipped. Draco scowled and tried to push past him to the door. "No, stop, I'm sorry!" Harry quickly placated him, sliding in front of him again. "It's just...I mean, you're the one with the duties and obligations, right? I don't see how you can rant about that one minute and then get mad at me the next just because I was trying to offer some sort of a...a solution."
"Well I-" Draco paused, sighed, and walked to one of the nearby walls. He stood there silently for a minute and then sighed again and sunk to the ground. "I'm confused, I guess," he admitted quietly.
"About what?" Harry asked, sitting down next to him. Draco gave him a flat look.
"What do you think? You're Harry Potter-"
"Ok, I think we've established who I am enough times for one day," Harry interrupted dryly. Draco snorted.
"Well how could anything realistically work out between us? What would people think?"
"No one really seems to mind it," Harry said.
"No one who?" Draco retorted. "No one at Hogwarts? None of our classmates?"
"Well, yeah..." Harry replied. "I mean, a few people have given me...um...less-than-pleased looks the past couple of weeks, but the majority-"
"Merlin, Potter, get your head out of the clouds!" Draco snapped. "My guess is there are very few of our peers who actually take this-this thing between us seriously. They're all too amused that it's you and me who're involved. Homosexuality isn't widely accepted in the wizarding world, you know."
"It's not?" Harry asked, startled.
"Fuck no," Draco muttered. "Especially among purebloods. We must continue the pureblood family lines and all that rot. But even in general, the wizarding world is small enough that it's definitely looked down upon when you choose not to...procreate."
"Oh," was Harry's soft reply to that.
"I can't even imagine what my Mother would say," Draco murmured.
"You didn't tell her?"
"Did you tell the Weasleys?"
"Point..." Harry sighed loudly.
"But fuck them," Draco said suddenly. "We can do whatever the fuck we want, right?" Harry smiled slightly.
"Right," he agreed. Then he looked at Draco uncertainly. "But...how does Voldemort feel about it?" Draco blinked, frowning.
"The Dark Lord? Er...not sure, actually. I guess I'll find out eventually."
"Draco," Harry groaned.
"Look, can we not make that a focal point in...in...in whatever the hell it is we're going to call this?" Draco groused. Harry brightened.
"So there is a this then?"
"I-...well, isn't there?" Draco asked hesitantly.
"Yes," Harry promptly answered, grinning.
"Right," Draco breathed, sounding relieved. "I mean, we can do this, right? We can try at least."
"Of course!" Harry nodded.
"Don't expect me to get all lovey-dovey, though," Draco warned. "I refuse to...to hold hands in the halls or anything of that nature." Harry nodded again.
"And no flowers or poems. Right, got it."
"And...and I don't want to keep it a secret, but I don't want to go around shouting it to the heavens either."
"Right, no bragging that I'm fucking a Malfoy."
"And don't you dare go easy on me when we play you in Quidditch either-"
"Ha! Like that would do any good."
"And don't expect me to stop teasing you in Potions or anyth-" Draco was cut off when Harry leaned over and planted a sloppy kiss on his lips. The blond spluttered, pushing him away, and then wiped his mouth. "What the hell was that?!" he cried. Harry laughed.
"Well you wouldn't shut up!" he said, grinning. Draco tried to glare at him, but it was hard when his lips kept twitching upwards. Eventually he gave in with a snort, and gave Harry a small, tight-lipped smile. Harry's grin broadened and he kissed him again.
"God, and here I was looking forward to getting back to Hogwarts so I could see you again," he laughed. "We're still on the train and we've already established that we're going to give being boyfriends a shot." Draco's smile widened a little. "I didn't think you'd ever actually agree to something like this."
"I like doing the unexpected," Draco quipped, nudging Harry with his shoulder. Harry pushed back, chuckling. "It keeps people on their toes." Harry chuckled again.
"I suppose I'll be on my toes a lot around you, then," he said.
"On your back is more likely," Draco said, grinning evilly. Harry burst out laughing.
"I think we'll both spend an equal amount of time in that position," he said slyly. Draco shrugged, rolling his eyes.
"Well, anything is possible, isn't it?" he said, ducking his head and glancing to the side at Harry through his fringe. Harry smiled, lifting the boy's chin with his hand and kissing him softly. His lips lingered there for a moment, though neither made a move to deepen the kiss. Harry raised his eyes to meet Draco's gaze, and he smiled again, nodding once.
"Anything," he agreed. And then he kissed Draco again.