I woke up with Sarah's hands on my face.
I barely got any sleep. Sarah is still sound asleep beside me.
I didn't want to wake her up. I gently moved her hand and walk silently out of Tyler's room.
I saw Tyler drinking his coffee.
"How is your godzilla bestfriend doing in my bed?" He asked casually.
"Can you please not start." I replied.
"Well she was really scary last night. The way she grilled you.." he said thoughtfully.
I think he wanted to laugh.
"The hell you heard that? Why the heck didn't you say anything? You could have help me explain it to her." I said in annoyance.
"The next time I ever have a crazy idea like that again just smack me. I don't want to deal with godzilla." Tyler said while taking another sip.
I sat next to him.
"Has she always been like that?" He asked curiously.
"I hate you.." I whispered.
"Well anyway, how did you find our kiss last night." He asked curiously.
"Um, I don't know Ty.. Do you really expect me to feel anything?" I replied.
"Well I didn't feel anything too." He replied casually.
I pinch his hand.
"I knew it! You were doing that for yourself." I said pissed.
"I wanted to know what it feels like.. to kiss Oli." He said shyly.
This smarty-pants.
I was about to slap his shoulder again when we heard footsteps.
Tyler immediately stood up from his seat.
I turn around and saw Sarah rubbing her eyes.
"Good morning guys!" She said estatically.
As if last night didn't happen.
"Is she bipolar?" I heard Tyler whisper behind me.
She gave me a hug.
"Yeah good morning.." I replied smiling nervously.
Are we okay?
"So you are in a good mood?" I said trying to test if she was faking.
"I'll cook breakfast." She offered.
"Well I guess she's in a good mood because she had my bed." Tyler said.
She glance at him.
Tyler was taken aback.
"I still don't trust you." She suddenly spoke.
"What?" He asked with a furrow eyebrows.
"O told me everything. You force her to kiss you." She said.
Right I did explain things to her while we were laying on Tyler's bed last night. She was more calm back then.
"I asked for her consent okay.. Don't grill on me ginger." He said trying to reason out to her.
"Whatever mop-head." She said then she glance at me and smiled sweetly.
Even though they fought like children, they still laugh at each other's joke. They're kinda weird.
Tyler didn't stay too long. He still went to work early.
Sarah and I stayed at his place.
"I'm sorry about last night." She said softly.
"You scared Tyler too." I replied smiling.
"I know.. If he tried anything. I'll kill him." She said.
We both laughed.
Then her face went serious again.
"I don't think you're horny.." she mention.
I turn away to hide my face.
I'm kinda horny actually.. I just didn't want to admit it.
"So why did you agree to kiss Tyler?" She asked gently.
Because I'm confuse with my feelings?
"Maybe I'm curious.." I replied.
That wasn't completely a lie.
"Curious about what?" She asked while leaning closer to me.
"About what it feels like.." I trailed off.
I'm just using Tyler's words now.
"To kiss Tyler??" She asked in disbelief.
I shook my head.
"You said I need more practice remember?" I replied trying to sound casual.
"Practice?" She repeated.
"I don't want to be a terrible kisser." I finished.
I got slap on my forehead.
"Silly! Why do you think it will be good to practice on him?" She said while chuckling loudly.
"Just because.." I didn't finished.
I got nothing else to say.
"You don't need that." She said seriously.
I looked at her confused.
"You're an amazing kisser.. You don't even need practice." She said while gazing at me.
I gulp when I heard that.
Why would she say that.
If she's talking about our kiss inside the gym.. that doesn't seem right.
Wait!
Is it possible that she remembers our steamy make out session inside her room?
But no!
It's impossible.. she wouldn't lie about that. She is still acting normal around me.
Her usual self and no tension on her part.
She would have started to avoid me if she remembers.
She snap her fingers at me while I'm on my deep thought.
"Don't space out on me.." she said in a low voice.
I look back at her.
She smiled gently.
She took out her phone and text someone.
"I'll be leaving now. I'm gonna spend some time with my parents today. I'll see you back at school tomorrow." She said then kiss me gently on my cheeks.
I gather my stuff so it will not take long to pack my things later.
I will spend a little more time with Tyler on his afternoon break before leaving him again.
After an few hours,
I went to the coffee shop.
He was taking a smoke outside at the back.
I walked closer.
"Hey there!" I greeted him.
"You leaving now?" He asked.
"In a few hours.. Sorry for crashing at your place like that. I'm sorry about Sarah too. You probably didn't get any sleep." I said while leaning back at the wall.
He smiled warmly then blow smoke.
"Don't worry about it Olivia.. You're my bestfriend. I know Sarah's your bestfriend but you are mine. Don't hesitate to ask for help. I'll always be here for you." He said seriously.
Tyler is the kind of friend I can rely on.. well aside from Sarah of course.
"I know thanks.. You know I'll do the same for you too." I said smiling warmly.
"By the way.. about Sarah, I think you should explore whatever you have for her." He said changing the topic.
"Huh?" I looked at him.
He just walked towards me and pat my shoulder.
"It's a great feeling you know.. being in love and all that." He said.
Wait? What?
I never said anything about being in love with Sarah did I?
"Tyler?" I called for his name.
"I need to get back inside. My break is almost over." He said winking at me.
What the hell is that suppose to mean?
Does he think I'm in love with her?
Am I in love with her??
---
After my visit with Tyler, I went to see my mom.
I'm not pretending to be Oli today. I'm just being me.
We hangout for the whole day and I made up some stuff about LA.
I feel bad for lying but I didn't want to tell her the truth either.
After that I went back to my dorm.
Raf wasn't there.
I got a text from Sarah.
She was on her way to their sorority house. She wanted to meet up. She said she was craving steak pasta today.
How can I say no to that right?
She pick me up outside of my dorm building.
She waved and motion for me to enter her car.
We went to my favorite restaurant.
She ordered a lot of foods.
Wow, she's really hungry.
She talked about how great her day was with her parents. I'm happy for her.
She then started talking about random stuff about anything. Like I said, she likes to talk a lot.
I found myself getting lost on her eyes.
Everything else were blurry, she was the only one I see..
Is this what it feels like to be in love?
I recall Tyler's few last words before I left him in LA.
"Explore what I have with Sarah?" I mumbled to myself.
I think she heard me.
"Explore what?" She asked while tapping my hand.
"Huh?" I asked confused.
"You were saying something." She replied still a bit confused.
"Oh.. it's a line something..." I lied.
"Have you been in love Sar?" I asked changing the topic.
I guess she was caught off guard with my question.
She shift a little in her seat and made herself more comfortable.
I was just curious.
She smiled sheepishly at me.
"Wow.. O! Want to talk about love right now?" She asked teasing me.
I just shrug my shoulder trying not to make a big deal out of my question.
"Well, as you know I do. I am in love right now." She said smiling at me warmingly.
I mentally facepalm myself.
Of course with my brother Oli..
"What do you like about my brother?" I asked curiously.
She blink a few times.
I'm not usually the one who initiate a topic about my brother.
Let alone show curiosity.
She just put her hand below her chin and started thinking.
This is gonna be a long list I think..
"Let me rephrase my question, what do you like the most about Oli?" I asked again.
".." she was still thinking..
"He's very charming?" She replied after awhile.
But that's not deep enough.
"Think harder, I want to know what made you fall for him." I said seriously.
She was taken aback with my question.
Maybe I was too straightforward.
"Why so curious now O?" She asked me softly instead.
"I want to know if I'm in love too." I said in a low voice.
Her eyes grew wider as she heard me say that.
"Wait? Are you saying you're in love right now?" She asked leaning forward to the table.
"I don't know.. maybe?" I replied honestly.
I can see her eyes sparkling..
She likes to talk about this kind of stuff.
"Do I know this person?" She asked.
I didn't want to risk it so I lied.
"You don't.." I replied.
She took a glass of water and drank it then instructed me to continue.
"Anyway that's all." I said trying to cut the conversation short.
"Oh you're just getting at the good part.. Don't do this to me. You know I won't be able to sleep until I get the whole story. You don't just spill something like that and leave me hanging." She argued.
"Like I said I'm not sure if it's love." I replied forcing myself to laugh to make it sound casual.
"So does this person has a name? I can't believe you're just telling me this now! Does Tyler know?" She asked while leaning closer.
She was really determine to get an answer this time.
If only she knew she's the one occupying my mind now.
She started shaking me.
"Ivan.." I mumbled.
Okay, just to be clear. That's the name of the last guy I've been crushing on before I started having this feelings for Sarah.
She stopped shaking me and lean back to her seat.
"So Ivan huh?" She said smiling.
So then I started talking about how I met him in one of the episodes I was shooting back before for this popular series.
He was a supporting cast while I'm just an extra.
He was friendly with everyone. He's not snobbish or arrogant. He was very down to earth.
I wonder how he is..
"I hope to meet this guy one day.." I heard Sarah talking.
"Why? It's not like he's my boyfriend or anything.." I replied mindlessly.
"I want to know your type.. You don't always find this topic interesting so can you blame me for being curious?" She asked casually while taking a bite of her sandwich.
She's right.. I don't think I've ever initiate a conversation about stuff like this.
"I don't think I have a type.." I answered honestly.
She suddenly laughed so hard.
So weird..
"Well if you don't have a type then you won't be single for so long! Don't you remember all the guys who tried to court you back in middle school and highschool?" She asked laughing.
Oh please don't let me be reminded of all the terrible dates I've had.
I just took a bite of my pasta.
"All forgotten.." I replied nonchalantly.
"Damn you're cold.. you broke so many hearts.." she said joking.
"How about you? Haven't you thought of dating someone who wasn't Oli?" I asked diverting the topic back to her.
She was silent for a minute..
"Maybe?.." she smiled playfully.
I guess she has her own secrets too.
"I want to date and marry Chris Hemsworth!" She said giggling.
I facepalm myself while shaking my head.
Here I thought she was being serious.
"You need to lower your standard Sar.." I said casually.
She glance at me when I said that.
"Find me a guy like you.." she replied casually.
I almost spit my drink.
She just laugh at me.
"What did you say?" I had to asked again.
"I know you heard me.." she said then she wink at me.
Her jokes can sometimes hit me like a brick.
"You're hopeless Sar.. I'm telling you I'm a limited edition." I said trying to make my own joke.
We kinda just laughed at our own silly thoughts.
---
A couple of weeks passed.
I'm planning to visit my mom for my birthday.
Well planning to visit her as myself. I wonder if Oli will come back home too..
Even thought we were never closed. He's still my brother. I miss that guy even though he barely pay attention to me.
So right now I'm walking on the streets. I'm wearing the outfit I shopped with Sarah the other time.
I think she's coming back too.
I open the door and guess what..
Oli open it for me.
"Hey V.." he said nonchalantly.
So he's back too.
"Wow! Bro.. you're back?" I asked in disbelief.
"I'm guessing you have something you need to tell me?" He look serious.
I think this is one of the longest conversation we've had.
I pretended to be confuse.
"I'm dating Sarah? Really?" He eyed me suspiciously.
I had to cover his mouth as I enter the house.
"Who's that Oli?" I heard my mom yell from the kitchen.
"Hey mom! It's me.. Olivia." I answered.
He slap my hand away.
"You've gone more crazy than the last time I left you." He said calmly.
Well I guess you've changed too you know. I said mentally.
"Don't tell mom." I warned
I hope I can scare him.
"You've been pretending to be me while I'm away.. that's not cool." He said casually.
He doesn't seem to be that mad.
"I'm sorry.. I didn't plan to do it. I've been in a lot of trouble lately." I explained.
My mom appeared at us smiling widely as she tried to embrace us both Oli and I.
"Oh my sweet kids all grown up now. I'm glad you both came home for your birthday." She said then she kiss my cheeks and Oli's.
The three of us went to groceries.
I'm happy that Oli didn't throw me under the bus. My mom would occassionally asked him about Sarah. He just glance at me then nodded at my mom to satisfy her curiousity by giving some small talks.
He wouldn't really talk much other than "yeah".. "she's cool.." "loud.. nagging.. pretty.." he said.
I just shook my head while Oli describe Sarah..
He looks so uninterested.
If Sarah is coming back.. she will see him too.
This might be a disaster in a making.
When we got home, I went into my room while Oli stayed in the living room.
My mom was unpacking our groceries.
I heard our doorbell ringing.
I immediately rush out.
I think that might be Sarah.
Oli open the door.
I was right!
Sarah was standing in the middle while her parents at the back.
She immediately wrap her arms around Oli.
Oli flinch a little.
Oh boy!
This is not okay...
I walked nearer.
Sarah's eyes went big as she saw me.
She glance at me then back at Oli.
I shook my head as a sign.
I can see her face blushing.
She immediately let go of Oli.
I should have text her earlier..
I don't know why I didn't think that.
She silently walk towards me.
She whisper behind my ear.
"You didn't tell me about Oli being back."
"I didn't know until I got here. My mom didn't mention it to me either." I replied.
Well there's no way she could have mention since I was planning to surprise my mom with unannounce visit.
"Erm... We got some wine." Sarah's dad said while handing it to my mom.
He's still acting tough around Oli.
I don't think Oli sense anything.
He's still very much like himself.
We all sat on the couch. Sarah was sitting awkwardly in the middle with me on the right and Oli on the left.
I can see Sarah acting her weird usual self around her crush.
Well you see, Sarah tends to be quiet when she's around Oli.
"Did you two break up?" His dad spoke sternly.
"Huh?" Oli looked at him confused.
"There is some weird atmosphere going around here." He replied.
Shit!
Oli glance at me.
I had to scoot closer.
"Please just play along.." I whispered.
He glance again at Sarah.
Sarah looked away.
I think she's blushing.
He took Sarah's one hand and caress it gently.
"No Mr. Richard.. we just don't want to make you feel awkward. Right Sarah?" He replied.
Sarah nodded.
"Good because I didn't entrust my daughter to you so you can just break her heart." He said smiling.
Sarah's mom slap her husband playfully.
"Stop doing that Richard.." She said.
Oli excuse himself for a minute and he walked out and went outside.
Sarah and I were left on the couch.
She slap me multiple times.
"I hate you! You should have told me that your brother is here. I should have worn something nicer." She said while scolding.
I temporary look at her dress.
Are you kidding me?
She looks so gorgeous already.
"You look nice." I compliment her.
"So your brother knows am I right?" She asked changing the topic.
"I gave him some details. Don't worry he will not throw us under the bus." I said confidently.
The rest of the night was awkward..
Well awkward for me at least.
Our parents kept on teasing the two.
I started to feel a little jealous.
Sarah was enjoying herself as Oli plays along.
I kinda wish I didn't went home for my birthday.
Sarah's mom suggested for us to give the two some privacy.
I had no choice but to leave Sarah with my brother.
I got stuck with three adults who talk about nothing but business.
I felt out of place.
Sarah's mom tried to include me to their conversation by asking me how I've been doing in LA.
Me being as awkward as hell just kept rumbling about anything that came to my mind.
They all just nodded trying to understand what I'm saying. I think they're just trying to be more respectful and considerate.
After awhile they went back to chatting about business.
I took out my phone and play something on it as I pretend to be busy as well.
When I got bored, I went back inside of my room.
I heard Sarah laughing so I check outside of my window.
She and Oli are getting along.
Must have been a pretty good joke. I said to myself
They were really having a good time.
I saw Sarah slightly caress Oli's arm innocently.
I can feel my jealousy rising up.
I decided to turn my sight away from them.
Who am I kidding..
Of course they will get along. Sarah is very pretty. Oli is very handsome too. I could tell Oli really has become more talkative and responsive than he was before.
No wonder if these two decide to start dating for real...
I rest my head on my pillow.
I'm laying on my bed right now.
I heard a few knocks on the door.
My mom went inside to check up on me.
"Via? You alright sweety?" She asked softly.
I push my back to sit and rub my eyes.
"Yeah.. mom, sorry I was a little tired. Long travel I guess." I reasoned out.
She sat on my bed.
"I'm happy you came back for your birthday. I got you something." She said then she showed me a gift.
It was still wrap with a ribbon.
"Just take a rest. I'll entertain our guest." She said lastly then peck me on my forehead.
I put the gift inside my drawer and lay back to bed afterwards.
I got a text from Tyler.
He just wanted to greet me for my birthday.
I wasn't really in the mood to talk to him right now.
I sent him a quick thank you reply.
I decided to sleep early.
I don't know I was asleep when I heard a few knocks on my window.
I looked at the time.
It was past midnight.
I heard someone whispering my name.
I turn my head to the window.
"Great!" I mutter sarcastically.
Sarah is knocking at my window.
I force myself out of my bed and open the window.
"Hey! Can you help me up?" She asked smiling from ear to ear.
Oh geez!
I want to sleep..
"What the hell Sarah! I'm already asleep. You're disturbing me!" I said irritably.
Her smile fell as soon as I said that.
She nodded sadly then proceeded to walk down the ladder.
I felt guilty.
"C'mon, just climb up. You're already here." I said softly.
She went up immediately.
I guess she's too afraid to risk me changing my mind.
I lay on my bed again.
She was still giggling.
I want to wipe that smile off her face.
I sighed and turn myself to the other side as she lay next to me.
"I had so much fun tonight" she announced.
Yeah, I could tell too.
She kept talking about Oli..
Oh men! I don't think I'll get any sleep if I let her keep talking like this.
"Sar, can't this wait tomorrow? I'm really tired." I said while pulling the blanket above.
She just nudge my side.
"C'mon, I really need this out of my chest! You already slept so early. I was waiting for you to come downstairs awhile ago. Your mom said you were sleeping already." She said ignoring my request.
She just talk
and talk
and talk..
My mood is getting worst.
It's all about Oli!
It's really pissing me off.
When I've had enough, I decided to do something.
I rolled on top of her and grab both of her hands and pin them above her head. I was holding her wrist firmly.
I was intensly staring at her face.
She looked away from me.
She stop talking.
My eyes landed on her neck and then back up on the side of her face.
She slowly look back at me.
I felt her gulp as she met my eyes.
I was just intently looking at her.
I lower my gaze to her lips.
There's that feeling again..
That feeling of wanting to hold her..
Touch her..
And kiss her.
I had to snap out of my thoughts somehow.
I shook my head a few times.
I know I scared her. She flinch below me as she shut her eyes close.
I gently removed my grip on her wrist and place my hands on each side of the bed as I push myself up.
I rolled next to her. I turn to the other side.
"I'm sorry.. You're just getting too loud. I want to sleep." I said while holding my chest above.
My heart is beating so fast right now.
I felt Sarah moved behind me.
She wrap her one arm on my stomach.
"Sorry O.. " she mumbled behind my ear.
Okay now I'm guilty.
She's not even doing anything wrong.
She just want to share her happiness with me.
I turn again to face her.
Our face is just a few inches apart.
"Happy Birthday.." she whisper silently.
I can see a smile forming on her lips.
"Thank you.." I replied matching her tone.
She let her forehead rest on my own.
And with that, we both fell asleep.