Donghae's POV
September 11, 20**
I was dismissed from the hospital after 3 days. The doctors kept on reminding me to stop doing extra activities that will makes me tired. My Mama and Dada are keeping their silence from day one up until now. They suffered hard enough because of me.
"Don't you want to explain to him what's really happening, Hae?" Wookie asked me. They (my friends) decided to have an uninvited sleepover at my house today. They said they wanted to spend some quality time with me—not that I am complaining—but I know them very well.
I shook my head, "What's the use of explaining?" "You're limiting yourself to become happy Hae. We all know how much you like Lee Hyukjae, and we also know how Hyukjae enjoys your company. Why don't you give it a try?" Kyuhyun commented. I notice how we keep on answering question with another question.
Again, I shook my head, "I don't have much time—" "Who told you that you don't have any time left Lee Donghae? Do you think we are not doing a damn thing? We wanted you to be normal and healthy." Heechul Hyung suddenly burst out. He hates this topic so much.
"Listen first Donghae, what you needed right now—is someone who will make you feel alive. And Hyukjae can make you feel that way." Kyu pat my shoulder lightly. To be honest, I don't have any plan right now. All I wanted is to die peacefully. My life has a time limit. I don't know when and where will I die—it can be today or tomorrow.
My phone suddenly vibrates indicating for a new message. I sigh and grab my phone. My friends keep on looking at my every movement as well.
Hae: Hey! Ahm I'm just wondering. Your last message, you didn't mean that we won't see each other anymore—right?
Freaking heart—it started to beat loudly. It's not only my heart that betrays me—also my body. Without thinking, I started to type my reply.
Hyukjae: If tomorrow, I have another day—let's meet each other. I need to tell you something.
And I freaking sent that message. "Happy?" I didn't look at everyone, but I asked them if they are satisfied or not.
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September 12, 20**
Luckily I woke up this morning. Luckily I have enough energy today—and luckily I feel like I can do anything today.
"HAE!" as soon as I heard that loud voice, my heart almost escape from my rib cage. Hyukjae is on the other side of the road, waving his hand frantically.
'How many times will you keep on betraying me heart?'
I didn't feel any pain at all. I smile back at him and even wave my hand, he run towards me as soon as the lights turn green, "I missed you!" he said, which makes my heartbeat incredibly fast. I was actually waiting for him to say something again, but to my surprised, he suddenly pulls out his jacket and put it on me, "What are you thinking? It's getting colder and you still wear this thin fabric." He talked while fixing the jacket on me.
"It's not that cold." I mumbled and tried to defend myself. I am always defenseless in front of him. I saw how he rolls his eyes. "Yeah—yeah if you say so." He even mocked me. This is how he really is. Lee Hyukjae may look like the person who loves to hang out with many people, but in reality he only likes to hang out with people that he likes. He also enjoys pampering them to death.
'And this might be the cause of my death—soon.'
We didn't stay long outside. We walked inside the café (because he was still mad at me for wearing thin fabric in the midst of September.) I badly wanted to hide his face as soon as we enter the café. Hyukjae is very approachable. Since this café is very near to his university, a lot of people keep on calling his name, "Hyukjae this..." "Hyukjae that..." "Hyukaje blah blah blah...."
Hang out with him made me realized that I am the territorial type (I'm not jealous) of person. I know I don't have any right, but I can't help but feel small and uncomfortable (definitely not jealous) when other people keep on hording his attention.
"Sorry, I need to go. I am with someone." Whenever this thing happens, I make sure to put a proper distance between him and I. I don't want other people to misunderstand us—well maybe I like them to think that we are a thing but I don't have any guts to pursue that goal.
I lower down my head; I don't want someone to look at me. "Woah! Lee Hyukjae who is that shy cute guy behind you?" someone asked him and I know for sure that he is talking about me. Not unless someone else is behind Hyukjae.
"What? Why are you glaring at me? I didn't do anything!" I didn't hear any reply from Hyukjae, but I heard his friend defending himself. "Tsk how troublesome. Don't call him cute." Hyukaje replied. I can't help but take a peak. I don't know what made Hyukaje upset.
Maybe he didn't agree that I am cute that was why he got upset by his schoolmate's comment. Everyone from the table made an "Ohhhhhh" sound before someone courageously said, "The possessiveness is very evident Hyukjae." I blush. I know for sure that I am blushing right now. Did someone hear my prayers? They actually mistook our situation right now.
Since Hyukjae is back facing me, I can't see his expression, "Shut it Yunho." And that's the end of their conversation. It was actually rude because Hyukjae, without prior notice took my hand and drag me to the other part of the café. Well I am not complaining—in case you're wondering.
We sit opposite to each other. This spot is very secluded, very private and very far from other costumers. "I'm sorry for that Hae." Hyukjae speaks up. I shook my head (of course) "No need." I said in a small voice. I don't want him to know that right now—I am experiencing an excessive happiness. I am also shocked that nothing feels wrong right now. I mean—come on, everyone keeps on telling me that I can't be so happy, sad, angry, and many more.
"You—don't mind it right?" "Huh?" "You don't mind being paired up with—me?" His statement sounds so unsure. I don't know, I can't help but smile brightly at him, "Of course not." I am very honest right now. If only I can, I will jump for joy.
He decided that it was not enough to smile back at me, so he grabs both of my hands that are lying down on the table, "I'm glad."
Is this even normal? My heart is not doing that painful thumping sound. I can breathe clearly like nothing is wrong with me. Is this the power of love? Then I want to stay in love for the longest time of my life.
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September 30, 20**
I never feel much more alive than before. Every day is so precious to me. I'd done all the thing that I haven't done before. Watching movies (not only one movie, but 3 different genres.) I played sports and even tried recreational activity.
Lately, my test results are getting better and better. I don't feel any chest pain. I don't know for how long will it last—but I wanted to enjoy it as much as I can. Everything is possible because Hyukjae is with me.
We never disclose our relationship. After that incident in the café, Hyukjae became more attentive. He calls me every night. He gave me wonderful experience that I haven't imagine I would do in the future. In a short time, Hyukaje becomes my everything.
"But why haven't you tell him about your condition?" yet that shitty feeling is back. Kyu was right. We are inside their university cafeteria because Hyukjae said that we will go somewhere later so I decided to pay a visit. Kyu, Wookie, and Heenim hyung are with me right now. "Base on my observation, the monkey boy likes you so much." Heenim hyung said while sipping on his coffee.
I can't drink coffee anyway, "Like is an understatement Hyung. I think Hyukjae loves our Hae." Wookie commented. He is busy reading his sheets (lecture copy), but he still has time to listen to our conversation. Freaking multi tasking guy.
"I—just—I just don't like him to treat me like a fragile vase." I honestly told them my reason. I always feel like something will change once I unveil my condition to Hyukjae. I don't want it. Kyu put down his game console, "Then what are you planning to do when you suddenly experience chest pain or worst heart attack? Are you willing to die on the spot in front of him?" That was Kyu. "Don't be so stubborn Hae." That was Heenim Hyung. "He will care for you the same way we care for you." And that was Wookie.
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October 7, 20**
"Kyu! Help me! I don't know what to do!" that distant voice. I know that voice so much, but I don't have any strength right now. The cold floor is already unbearable as well as my heart. "I AM PANICKING RIGHT NOW! DAMN IT!" I wanted to soothe him, but I don't know how.
It feels like I've been suffering for a long time, until some warm arm held me, "Hae—Hae can you hear me? Hae don't be scared, I am with you right now. Kyu will be here soon. He will help you." I thought I was strong enough, that I am ready to die, but this guy—he gives me a new light to live.
I feel a warm thing fall of my face, "Shhhh—don't cry. Don't be scared." I am gasping for air. My eyes are too blurry to focus on him. My breath keeps on hitching. The pain feels like knives stabbing again and again on my chest, "hu—rt" I messily mumble that word.
He hugs me, "I'm sorry—Hae I'm sorry. I thought I can make you happy and healthy. I'm sorry Hae. Please—don't leave me. Not now—I'm not ready for this—damn it!" And that was the last thing I heard before the darkness eaten me alive.
'Do I even have another time to see his face once more? I want to say sorry as well—sorry for keeping everything from you—Lee Hyukjae.'
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You all know how I easily change my mind.
I have tiny bit problem hahahhaha. I don't want to put everything in one chapter so I decided to make 2 more chapters for this woooooooo~ hahahahha
Enjoy! Keep on reading!
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