"Comparison is the killer of joy"
Since childhood I have always compared myself a lot with others for example with celebrities, their facial features, Instagram models, the fact that I was the same agement of those girls/boys that already making millions and they are getting recognition for it, or the female youtuber that I always watched. I started to really feel bad about myself and it really lowered myself esteem, but now I am working on changing my perspective on how I see things.
So I really felt like talking about comparison topic since is really important and I know there are many people still suffering from this and as we are entering 2020 in a few days I want us to learn how to minimize or being aware in the dangers of comparison, even though I know it is complicated.
Comparison is something that many of us have done since childhood. It starts out innocently enough. You see a classmate getting a larger piece of pizza in the cafeteria on Pizza Day. You feel slighted for a few minutes, but by recess, you're so focused on the monkey bars that the feeling is forgotten. As we get older, comparing things like your salary, possessions, money, social status, lifestyle and overall success can deal a much larger blow to your ego.
The problem starts when you become obsessed with your deficiencies, rather than the areas in which you excel, you are focused only on the wrong thing. Constant comparison with others tend to lower your self esteem and it also makes you feel bad about yourself, is like you start to believe you are not good enough or something is missing. When we compare ourselves to others, we're often comparing their best features against our average ones. It's like being right-handed and trying to play an instrument with your left hand. Not only do we naturally want to be better than them, the unconscious realization that we are not often becomes self-destructive. Not only are we unhappy but the other people are as well. They are probably comparing themselves to you. In my personal life, I have experienced people actually comparing themselves to me, I was actually surprised.
I believe that changing your perspective on how you view people, focusing on your energy and effort on what you are capable of and how you can improve youself to become a better version of you to avoid comparison can really help you build and upgrade your self-esteem. You become happier, free from the shackles of false comparisons and focused on the present moment. The way they look at you is the same way you were looking at them, though a distorted lens shaped by experiences and expectations. What really matters is what you think about what you do, what your standards are, what you can learn today.
When you stop comparing between people and focus internally, you start being better at what really matters: being you. It's simple but not easy. The most important things in life are measured internally. Thinking about what matters to you is hard. Playing to someone else's scoreboard is easy, that's why a lot of people do it. But winning the wrong game is pointless and empty. You get one life. Play your own game.
There is a series called Black Mirror, and there is chapter where you can see how people view themselves in disorted lens and how social media affect us and what will happen if we continue to go in this direction.
Quote🎄:
Every minute you spend wishing you had someone's life is a minute spent wasting yours.
References:
Farnam Street (2019) The Danger of Comparing Yourself To Others. Available at:
https://fs.blog/2019/06/comparing-yourself-others/