Her Forever and Always (F.F...

the-fallen-knight tarafından

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Logan and Kimberly have come a long way and are now facing the next stage in their lives. The next thing that... Daha Fazla

1. Where We Stand
2. Home
3. Mature
4. Some Things Never Change
5. Truth Comes Out
6. New Look?
7. Hate
8. Family
10. Children
11. Makeup Or Breakup?
12. The Dawsons
13. July
14. Pictures
15. Excitement
16. Departure
17. Staying
18. Jobs
19. Which
20. Time
21. Additions
Author's Note
22. Our Life Now
23. Long Awaited
24. Reassurance
25. Falling Into Place
26. A Day in the Life
27. Work
28. Meeting
29. Night Out
30. Cold Pt. 1
31. Cold Pt. 2
32. Search
33. Fault
34. Blue
35. Game
36. Her
37. Memory
38. Chloe
39. Only the Beginning
40. Epilogue

9. Decisions

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the-fallen-knight tarafından

~~~

Kimberly's POV-

"Why did you drag me out here again?" I ask Ellie as she continues to pull me, by my wrist, towards the building. She stops walking and turns around to give me a questioning look.

"You two have barely said a word to each other lately, right? So maybe you guys need a little push." she insists as she opens the door and practically pushes me inside.

Quinn and I haven't been talking that much lately. Sure, we live under the same roof, but we're not being social at all. The only time we even talk to each other, is when I get dinner ready and she says it tastes good. Or when she's leaving for work and she says she'll be back later. Other than that, we're not talking.

Ever since she found Logan and I outside of my house wrapped up in each other, she's been really moody. She hardly even looks at me. When I do try to talk to her, she gives me short little responses, which is getting really annoying at this point if you ask me.

"I don't really think that's a good idea." I tell Ellie as I quickly turn around and try to leave the building. She stops me.

"Nope. I'm not taking no for an answer. It's so awkward between you two, so fix it." she insists once again and pushes me in the direction of Quinn's voice.

Ellie tracked Quinn's bar down and dragged me here with her. She believes that if I showed up at her bar, and pull her aside to talk to her one on one, we'll get somewhere. But I really doubt it. I'm not even sure if I want to patch things up with Quinn anymore. She's been really annoying and frustrating with how she goes on and on about Logan being such an asshole and an idiot and that I should just cut things off with her all together.

It's frustrating.

I should just let it go and move on from Quinn.

But...

"Hey! Quinn! Get over here!" Ellie shouts as she drags me over to where Quinn is.

I look up and see Quinn standing at the top of a flight of stairs, leading to the second floor. She gives us her attention when Ellie shouts up to her. She says something to a guy with a clipboard before she jogs down the stairs and brushes her hair back on her way over to us.

"What is it? I'm busy right now, is there something you need? Is it important?" she asks as she crosses her arms.

The tone in her voice makes it very clear that she doesn't want us here at all. I knew this wasn't a good idea. I'm sure if Ellie tells her why we're here, Quinn will just brush it off and tell us that we'll have this discussion later. But I know if she says later, it's more like never.

"Kim needs to talk to you, right Kim?" Ellie asks me as she nudges my shoulder. I look towards her and then at Quinn. Quinn's eyes look so blank and expressionless.

I never imaged that I would be this nervous to talk to her, but I guess life's just full of surprises.

"Y-yes. I wanted to talk to you." I tell Quinn as I stand my ground. She sighs and shakes her head.

"Is it anything important? I have a lot of work that needs to be done, so if it's not that important, can it wait until I get home?" she suggests. I bite my lower lip and before I can even tell her that's fine, Ellie jumps in.

"Hell no! You two are talking right now! This can't wait until later." Ellie says as she glares at Quinn. Quinn jumps back at Ellie's sudden outburst.

Quinn exchanges looks between myself and Ellie and at her coworkers. She eventually groans and runs her hands down her face.

"Fine." she gives in.

She hollers at the guys working with her that they're going to take a break. They just drop everything they're doing and shrug it off. Some of them leave and head outside, taking about having a smoke or getting a drink real quick.

"So what's up?" she asks me after Ellie leaves the building as well. I bite my lower lip again, obviously getting really nervous about this.

This wasn't a good idea. I just know it. Quinn already looks extremely unhappy about all of this and I'm keeping her from getting her place down.

"I just...wanted to talk to you..." I mumble. I hear her groan even louder in frustration.

"Kim. If you want to talk to me, then talk. I can't hear you if you continue to mumble under your breath like that." Quinn tells me with so much anger in her voice and frustrating. I gulp down the lump in my throat and face her again.

"Well I'm SORRY for being such an annoyance to you." I tell her as my confidence and stubbornness suddenly kicks in. She jumps back a little this time in shock before her expression changes and she squints her eyes at me.

"Really? You seriously think I find you fucking annoying? Kim, that's just dump." she fights back. I roll my eyes at her and cross my arms.

"Is that so? Well it sure feels like all I am to you is just some annoying little brat. You don't even TALK to me anymore! We live under the same fucking roof and you hardly even say more than five words to me on a daily basis now! That's fucking sad, Quinn." I tell her as my voice grows louder by the second.

"Well, if you hate it so much, then I'll just move out. Will that make you happy? As you can see, my place is coming along quickly now, I can get out of your hair by the end of next week, is that good with you? Or should I just go and get my stuff now and leave. Which is better?" she asks me with so much annoyance now.

I flinch a little. This wasn't how I wanted things to go. Sure I did think that this was a dumb idiot to come here and try to reason with her. But I don't want her to just leave like this. Not like this.

But...

"The sooner the better Quinn. I can't put up with you and your shit anymore." I tell her. She huffs and rolls her eyes.

"Well then hot stuff, I think we've come to an agreement. Thanks for stopping by and letting me know I'm being kicked out." she says rather rudely. I glare at her and point my finger at her.

"I'M not kicking you out! You suggested it! I'm simply agreeing with you for once!" I tell her. She rolls her eyes and wacks my hand away from her face.

"Oh yeah that's right. You'll probably need the extra room for when the asshole comes back. Planning on asking her to move in with you? Is THAT it? Oh wait. No. You won't even NEED the guest room if she moves in. She'll move in right next to you in your bed." Quinn spats at me. I bite my lower lip, hard. I'm ignoring the soreness it's causing.

"Don't bring Logan up in this right now. She has NOTHING to do with this." I tell her. She laughs.

"Yeah right! Ever since she came back into town, you've been letting her get into your head. Now you're close to getting back with that jerk and you know what's gonna happen? She's gonna hurt you Kim. But fine. If you don't believe me, then just find out for yourself then." she tells me as she makes gestures with her arms in frustration.

"You don't know Logan. You don't have the right to talk trash about her." I tell her. She rolls her eyes again.

"Oh please. I know enough to know that she's not worthy of your time Kim. I'm not blind." she tells me as she walks away from me.

"I'll be back later tonight to get my stuff. I'll be gone in time for you to have Logan move in with you." she tells me as she picks up a clipboard and writes something down on it.

I send daggers into her back one more time before I spin around and rush out of the door. Some of the guys who were working with Quinn try to start a conversation with me, but stop trying to do so when I send them daggers as well. I didn't necessarily mean to do that, it just happened. I find Ellie over by her car and climb into the passenger seat, ignoring her million questions.

She eventually gets into the drivers seat and starts up her car. The AC blasts warm air for a split second before it turns into cooler air.

"So? How'd it go?" she asks me, rather hesitantly. I face her and shrug as I put a smile on.

"We came to an agreement, so that's good." I tell her. She eases up a bit and smiles back at me.

"That is good. So, are you two good now? Gonna have some makeup sex later?" she suggests. I shake my head face away from her as I pull down the blind and check my hair in the little mirror.

"Nope. Not at all." I tell her.

"Ok...but everything worked out, right?" she asks me. I face her again and nod reassuringly.

"Yes. She's moving out." I tell her before I put my seat belt on. Ellie grows quiet and when I look over to see her, her expression is blank and unreadable. She's just sitting there looking at me with a blank face.

"I thought that you two were going to work things out." Ellie says after a second of just looking at me like I've lost my mind. I shake my head again.

"We did. We came to the conclusion, at least I did, that this - whatever this even is - wasn't going to work out. She suggested she moved out, and I agreed on that." I tell Ellie. She sighs and shakes her head as she starts driving away from the parking space on the street.

"And are you really ok with that?" Ellie asks me.

"With what?"

"Having her leave like that. I thought you really liked Quinn." Ellie tells me as she pulls up to the red light and faces me. I shake my head.

"I did. But...I don't know. It's just not the same. Everything was fine until-"

"Logan came back?" Ellie finishes my sentence. I grow insanely quiet and just nod my head. I'm assuming Ellie was able to see my reaction before she started driving again when the light turned green.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that Logan came back. I can't really say what's going to become of us now at this point, but I know that I'm still deeply in love with her. I don't know if it's possible to even change the fact that I love her so much. Sure she's just an idiot sometimes and she hurt me, but I can't deny the fact that I still want to be with her.

To be held by her. Touched by her. Have her attention.

Everything.

And if she didn't come back, I can't say rather or not I would have moved on from her with Quinn. At the rate Quinn and I were going, that seemed possible. Very possible. But Quinn's entire mood has changed and it's like I don't even know her anymore. Today, she spoke to me that most she's been speaking me for the past few days.

Which is crazy because, we were under the same roof.

"Who do you care about more?" Ellie suddenly asks me. I look over and face her. Her eyes are focused on the road, but I know her mind isn't entirely focused there.

"Would you rather experience everything you went through with Quinn all over again if you had the chance? Or experience everything you went through with Logan all over again if you had the chance?" she asks me as she looks at me for a split second.

I lean back into the seat and ponder on the question.

Now that I think about it...meeting both of them and getting to know them both wasn't quite ideal. Finding out Logan was my student in my first year of teaching, was kind of a train wreck. Although we managed to work around it. Nearly spending the night with Quinn back when Logan and I were separated because of the whole Ashley thing wasn't ideal either. I pushed her away back then. Only recently have I not been pushing her away and instead, I've been pushing Logan away.

"No wait. Here's a better question. Which one of them are you willingly to give your entire self to? I'm not necessarily talking about tying any knots or anything...I just mean who are you in love with? Who's more dear to you? Who makes you have that dumb and stupid feeling inside?" Ellie asks me.

Again. I lean back in my seat.

I'd be lying if I were to say that Logan wasn't the one who came to my mind first. She was the first one that came to my mind with the question Ellie just asked me. For everything. She's the one I'm in love with. She's pretty much always been more dear to me. And to top it all off, she still has that insanely addictive effect on me.

"Well?" Ellie asks all of a sudden. I snap out of my thoughts and look over towards her again. I was probably too deep into my thoughts for a while.

"Is it Quinn or Logan? Easy question with an easy response if you ask me." Ellie tells me. I slowly nod my head.

"It's Logan..." I mumbe. But I'm sure Ellie heard me. When I look over at her again, I find her nodding her head.

"There you have it. She's the one who you should be trying to get back with, and fixing everything. If Quinn really has been acting like such a jerk, like you've told me, then it's obvious that it's going to be really hard to patch things up with. With Logan, you just have to find it in you to forgive her from her mistake. She's most likely ready to come rushing back to you the second you give her the green light." Ellie tells me as we turn into our neighborhood.

"I'm just scared..." I finally admit.

The car grows silent again. We reach our destination and Ellie pulls up into her driveway and parks her car. I can feel her eyes on me even though I'm not looking at her at all but instead, at the rug beneath my feet in her car.

"Scared that...?" Ellie trails off. I sigh and finally look up.

"I'm just scared that the second I forgive her, and get back together with her, it'll all be for nothing. That the moment she gets back in New York to finish her last year there, that she'll just end up doing the same thing all over again. That she'll shut me out. And if she does, well that's just it. I don't think I'll have it in me to forgive her that time." I tell Ellie as I face her.

I can feel the tears pricking my eyes. I don't try to hide them, however. Instead, I let them fall. And fall. I eventually feel Ellie reach over and gently squeeze my shoulder in comfort. It somewhat works.

"Then just tell her that. Tell her exactly what you just said to me." Ellie suggests. I slowly nod my head at the suggestion.

"I may not know her as well as you do, but if she truly loves you, well then that's just it. She'll do practically anything for you to keep you happy." she tells me.

"Whelp. Anyway...sorry for dragging you out like that. I'm going to go take a nap, I've been extremely exhausted lately, I'm not even sure why. I always get a full nights sleep...maybe I'm getting sick...anyway...want me to walk you over?" Ellie suggests. I give her a playful eye roll and a smile and shake my head.

"Nope. I can manage on my own. I'm a big girl now." I tell her as I joke around. She laughs and shakes her head as we both climb out of her car.

"I'll come by later tomorrow to get all the deets about what happens. See you." she tells me as she heads to her front door.

I make my way across the street and into my own house. I nearly trip over a pair of Quinn's shoes when I walk into the front foyer. I guess I won't have to be worrying about tripping over her shoes for that much longer. If I manage it trip over anymore shoes, it'll be either mine or Emma's.

I still can't believe she's really moving out later today. It almost seems like yesterday when she contacted me and told me about her place and all the renovating and needing a place to stay until it's finished. And now, she's leaving and yet her place isn't complete yet. But. I guess it can't really be helped. She was bond to leave at some point or another. Why not now.

"Ok. I have all my stuff in my car. If there's anything that I might have forgotten, you can just drop it off at my place, if you want. Or just toss it, I don't care." Quinn says as she shoves her hands in her pants pockets.

She came back a while ago and went straight to her room to get everything of hers out of the guest room. The dresser is empty and all of her shoes in the front foyer are gone. Her toiletries are gone as well. It's like she was never here to begin with.

"I'll see you around I guess." she tells me as she spins around and starts heading in the direction of her car. She hops in and within seconds, she's heading down the road.

I let out a shaky breath as I close the front door and lean my back against it. I find Emma sitting on the stairs with a pity look on her face. I hate that expression, but it is what it is.

"You ok?" she asks me.

I slowly nod my head and walk on over towards her. She gets up from the stairs and meets me before I can reach her. I almost jump back a little when I notice my vision went blurry and watery. Emma pulls me in for a hug and I hug her back and let my tears escape.

I don't care if I'm really upset with Quinn with how she's been acting lately. It doesn't change the fact that I just wanted us to be on the same page for once. For us to get along. Not necessarily in a dating way, but just getting along. We wouldn't have any issues and she'd still be here until her place is finished.

"Do you think I was being too harsh on her?" I ask Emma. I feel her shrug.

"I'm not sure. I mean, I don't mind either way. If she's living here or not. But it was starting to get really awkward with you two being so antisocial with one another. It was like I couldn't even breathe in my own house. Well, your house, but still." she tells me as she jokes around a little bit. I laugh at that too and pull back to wipe away my tears.

"So what now?" she asks me. I shake my head.

I'm honestly not entirely sure. What I am sure of, is that I'm so mentally drained right now. My head hurts a bit too from all the running around and arguing I went through with Quinn. And even with just this past hour or so. Watching her pack everything and leaving. It hurt, I'll admit that much at least.

"What do you mean?" I ask her.

"Are you going to talk to Logan?" she asks me. I shrug my shoulders and stretch out my back.

"I want to...I just don't know what to say." I tell her. She groans.

"Kiiimmmm. Nothing is going to happen until you say something." she tells me.

God.

She reminds me so much of Ellie.

"I'm well aware of that. I just need some time to think. Besides, isn't she out of town for the moment?" I ask Emma. She nods.

"I'll talk to her when she gets back." I settle.

"What if she calls you?" Emma asks me as she raises her eyebrow.

"Are you going to deny her call like you did last time? Or are you going to actually pick up?" Emma interrogates.

"I'll pick up."

"For real?" she asks me in disbelief.

Before I can even respond to her, my phone starts buzzing in my shorts pockets. I pull out my phone and look at the caller ID. My heart nearly stops when I see who's calling. Of course I would get a call from her right now. Life is just full of coincidence.

I shake off my nervousness and pick up after the third buzz.

"H-hello?" I squeak out. I hear soft laughter from the other side of the line. The laughter which I grew to love very much. Along with everything else.

"Hey..." Logan softly tells me.

"What's up?" I ask her.

"Call me lame if you want...but I just wanted to hear your voice. Is everything ok?" she asks me. I bite my lower lip.

At a time like this, she can be so...

"Yeah, I'm fine. What about you? You're on your family trip, right?" I ask her.

"Yes. And let me tell you, I only JUST got some time for myself. My little 7 year old cousin has been practically glued to me the second we arrived." she tells me as her laughter fills the air. I can't help but smile.

"Well, she probably just really adores you. I don't blame her." I tell her. My face grows really hot and red after I say it. I meant to just think it. But now it seems like I implied that I adore her. Which, in all honesty, I do.

"Yeah...anyway...you sure you're ok?" she asks me again.

"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?" I ask her. I can hear her let out a sigh.

"I don't know. I guess I've really been thinking a lot about you. Us. Everything. And it only just made me realize even more how much I miss you and how much I really did fuck things up. Oops. I'm sorry. I mean how much I really messed things up. I gotta be careful with some of the words I say, there are children in this house and their mother made it very clear that swearing was forbidden under her roof." Logan tells me as she laughs. I laugh with her.

"Anyway...like I was saying. I really do regret everything I did and I'm really sorry...you're too precious to be treated in that way..." she grows quiet for a moment. I almost thought that perhaps she hung up on me. But her voice coming through to me makes it very clear that she didn't hang up.

"Quinn was right...you do deserve someone better than me. Someone who won't hurt you in the way I did." she tells me with a very soft and fragile voice. It nearly breaks me.

"Logan..." I trail off.

"That's why I'm going to become someone better. I promise you that. I won't ever hurt you again. I swear my life on it." she declares.

"And one day, things will be back to the way they should be. We'll spend a lot of time together before I go back to New York. And once I'm there, I promise that I will call everyday. I won't mess things up again. Ever again." she continues to go on.

"I'm sorry. Here I am, wanting to hear your voice and I'm hardly even letting you get a word out, I'm sorry." she says as she laughs again. I shake my head.

"It's fine. I don't mind at all." I tell her. She mums in response.

"I really hate to say it, but I need to get going. I just wanted to talk to you a bit, that's all." Logan tells me. I smile at that.

"Well. Thanks." I tell her.

"You're welcome. I'll be back later this week, on Saturday. We should do something, only if you're up for it." she tells me. She grew very frantic at the last bit. It only made me laugh.

"Yeah. We can do that. I can't wait." I tell her. She lets out a sigh in relief.

"Alright. Well...I love you, Kimberly." she tells me. My heart beat speeds up at those words. It doesn't matter how many times she tells me that. My heart always seems to race whenever she says it.

"I love you too, Logan." I tell her.

"I'll see you soon, I promise." she tells me.

We hang up shortly afterwards. I can't help feel nothing but complete satisfaction with that little phone call we just had. I really wasn't expecting her to just call out of nowhere like that. But I loved it.

"Well...someone's in a good mood." I hear Emma's teasing voice from behind me. I jump and turn around to see her smirking at me before she laughs.

"Shut up...it was just a call..." I tell her as I try to get my face to not be as red.

"Suuurrre. A call from your oh so beloved." she continues to tease me.

"Yeah yeah, whatever." I tell her as I roll my eyes.

"So, what do you plan on doing?" she asks me. I look towards her with confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean about Logan. 'I love you too, Logan~ Oh I miss you so much. I wish I wasn't too stubborn otherwise I'd already have you pinned down underneath me in my be-"

"Will you give it a rest! Jeez..." I snap with embarrassment from her attempt at imitating me and teasing me. she only laughs.

Typical.

"Anyway. What's the plan now?" she asks me.

"I think it's pretty obvious at this point." I tell her as I cross my arms as my confidence comes rushing back.

"And that's?"

"I'm going to work things out with her."

******************

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