For a split second, all I could hear was that confident thud thud in my eardrums, speeding up with every passing moment. It grew louder and louder until it rang in my ears so loud I thought they bled. He was all I could hear, and his anger was all I could feel. It was all consuming. It was suffocating.
It seemed as if no time had passed, but I knew it had. I could hear it pass with Grey's angry heartbeat. But it felt like the moment Li's lips touched mine, he'd been yanked away.
My heart was racing.
Grey's hand was wrapped tightly around Li's throat, almost encircling it entirely. He held him out in front of him, dangling him a few feet off the ground as if Li had weighed close to nothing. Grey's eyes were a simmering blue fire, burning into Li's.
"Grey," I whispered softly.
The crowd around us had stopped and moved off to the sides, gasping in shock and fear. Luckily, Siena stood in front of the exit, preventing people from leaving before she could use Suggestion and erase whatever memories they had of this.
"Who are you?" Grey growled, tilting his head slightly to the side at Li and completely ignoring me.
"Let me go, man," Li pleaded, his voice weak and shaky.
"Grey, let him go. Please," I pleaded softly.
"Who are you to her?" Grey demanded, his snarl booming across the patio.
"Her date, man, that's all," Li forced out.
"That's all?" Grey clenched his jaw and chuckled a little. "That's all."
"Yeah, man, I swear," Li's voice grew weaker as he struggled against Grey, who didn't budge.
"See, what I want to know is why the fuck you think you can touch her," Grey smiled darkly at Li.
His gaze on Li was simply predatory. His pupils were dilated, focused solely on him. Power and authority radiated off of him in waves so fierce, I worried Li might drown in them.
"Grey, let him go. Please," I whispered.
Grey's eyes drifted to me, then flicked back to Li. They were glowing even brighter now. I'd never seen him this furious before. The mere sight of him like this made my heart stutter. I didn't know this Grey. This Grey looked like death incarnate.
"Do you care for him? This human?" Grey growled at me fiercely.
"I hardly know him," I replied truthfully, my heartbeat echoing in my ears.
"But you invited him to come here with you. You let him touch you. You let him kiss you. And even now, you ask me to let him go. You care for him," Grey's eyes narrowed slightly, as if daring me to deny it.
"He's a friend. He was helping me get over you," I snapped back without thinking.
"Helping you get over me?" Grey snarled, his eyes flashing even brighter.
Shit. That was the wrong thing to say.
"Come on man, please. I didn't do anything wrong. I'll stop talking to your girl, okay?" Li pleaded, his eyes swelling with tears.
"See, the issue is, I just don't believe you," Grey swung his head back to face Li, chuckling darkly.
I watched Li's eyes widen as they fell on me. My eyes must be glowing again. Grey looked back at me, then to Li.
"I'll see you in Hell," Grey snarled, and with a flick of his wrist and a loud pop, snapped Li's neck and dropped him to the floor.
Time seemed to pause for a moment, the resounding crack of his neck echoing inside my head.
My ears were ringing. My heart was pounding inside my rib cage. I rushed to Li's side, cradling his head before it could hit the ground. His eyes had rolled back, the whites of them staring up into the vacant night sky above. He was gone. And it was all my fault.
He'd been so nice to me when we'd met, so effortlessly kind. And I'd repayed it by introducing him to my murderer ex. Grey had killed Li. For kissing me.
I could feel the hot tears burning down my cheeks as I gently closed his eyelids. I turned around and looked to Suriel, who took a small step towards me.
"I need you to bring his soul to Heaven. Please," I whispered, fiercely wiping the tears from my cheeks.
"I'll try my best," Suriel bowed his head slightly and knelt down next to me.
He took Li's head in his hands, resting a hand over Li's eyes for a moment and mumbling some words I didn't understand. I stood up from my knees, turning my gaze to Grey.
His eyes were still glowing, gaze fixed on me. Siena and I had believed that Grey wouldn't be capable of committing such an atrocity just because he was jealous. We were wrong. Grey was a monster. The monster I'd believed he was the moment I'd met him.
"I hate you," I breathed out through gritted teeth.
Grey's eyes flashed a brighter blue for a second before cooling back to their fluorescent state.
"He kissed you," Grey snarled.
"And you fucked another girl! While we were still together! You don't get a say in what I do anymore! And you don't get to go and kill every man I try to move on with!" I spat angrily.
I could see the light being emitted from my skin even as I looked at Grey. I was glowing bright now. And I couldn't control it.
"You can't stop me," Grey shot back.
"You wanna find out?" I snarled back.
"You need to calm down, Greene," Grey narrowed his eyes at me.
"Calm down? You just killed a man! Because he kissed me!" I screamed angrily, the tears rushing down my cheeks again.
I was so beyond furious with Grey, and so heartbroken. I was heartbroken for Li, for the kind man who had been nothing but genuine with me and now no longer had a future. I was heartbroken for his family, who would never know the truth behind his death. I was heartbroken for me, who had watched the man she loved murder another out of jealous rage.
"You know exactly what you were doing bringing him here. You knew if I was here, if I saw you with another man, what would happen. You know who I am, Greene. I'm not ruled by anything. Morals included. I kill who I want to kill. And any man who lays a finger on you has a death sentence," he growled out fiercely.
"Why?" I cried out in anguish. "Why can't you let me move on!"
Grey didn't respond, merely clenching his jaw and continuing to glare at me.
"You know what? Fuck you. If I ever see you again, it'll be too soon," I spat angrily, turning on my heel and storming towards Siena, who briskly moved to the side and allowed me to pass.
I couldn't breathe. It felt like an elephant were sitting on my chest. Li was dead. And it was all my fault. How could I have been so foolish to believe that Grey wouldn't lash out at me? Why did I trust that he would see past his emotions and leave Li out of this?
I hurried down the steps, taking off my heels at the bottom of the staircase and tossing them off to the side. They only held me back now. The bouncer eyed me as I stormed past him to the sidewalk outside. I probably looked like some girl who just got dumped or something. Little did he know that a murder just occurred upstairs and he'd let the killer go.
This was on me. Grey might've done the deed, but I facilitated it. I had brought Li here. I had trusted Grey without knowing it. I had trusted Grey with Li's life. And he'd killed him.
If it weren't for me, Li would still be alive.
If it weren't for me, Makenna would still be alive.
And Allison would still be human.
If it weren't for me, the people I cared about wouldn't have suffered.
I turned a corner into an alleyway, then let my wings loose from my back. They unfurled, my power thrumming wildly in my veins. I could feel it pulsing with every beat of my heart, itching to get out.
With a powerful push of my wings, I shot up off the ground and soared up into the low hanging clouds above me. I pushed through the clouds, finally breaking out of them and hovering for a moment. It was just me and the night sky above me.
Alone.
Like I should've been all along.
I could've saved people I cared about if I had just pretended they meant nothing to me. Allison was killed by Lucifer to draw me out of hiding. Makenna was killed by Siobhan for the same reason. Li was killed by Grey simply because I cared about him.
If I had just stayed alone, I could've saved them all from suffering.
With that realization, I let out an agonizing scream that echoed across the sky as my soul ripped through my willpower, exploding across the sky. It might've looked like lightning to anyone down below who saw.
Light so bright it was blue tore out of me, swirling like a cyclone and outstretching to all sides. My soul was in agony. It wanted retribution. It wanted freedom. It wanted destruction.
After a moment, I slowly reined it back in. Everything inside of me ached with grief and guilt. This was all my fault. I'd caused the deaths of three people I had genuinely cared about. Allison may still be alive, but she had been killed because of me. And I would never be able to fix that. Her mortal life was ripped away from her all because of me.
In that moment, I felt so much self hatred I could hardly breathe. I didn't recognize myself anymore. The old me would've given up anything for those she cared for. But here I was, letting others die just because I lived.
And at that, I pulled my wings in and plummeted to the ground.