As the days went by, I grew more restless.
Kamsaton did not turn up for work for three days. Nor was she in the hospital on the fourth, fifth, sixth or seventh day. I clocked in overtime on my off days just to get a glimpse of her. Not seeing her frustrated me.
Things soured between Melati and I as we argued about moving house. She was against the idea and her sheer stubbornness kept pushing me to the edge. The more I looked at my wife, the more my eyes were filled with disdain. I had even resorted to sleeping on the living room floor. Saleha noticed the change in my behaviour and had coaxed me to sleep in the bedroom a few times. In truth, I was too terrified to spend any more time in any of the bedrooms in that house. I always gave the excuse that the master bedroom was too hot to sleep in, which was true. As soon as I stepped into that bedroom, it felt like I had just stepped into a blazing hot furnace. Oddly, no one else felt the strange heat.
Only me.
The gash from my wound had grown from bad to worse. No matter how much I cleaned and stitched it up, the threads would come loose by the next morning. It was infuriating.
Things had quietened down at the kampung over the past week. I did not see the penanggal anymore nor were there any more news of infanticides in the village except for complaints of an increase in the number of missing black chickens, black goats and black sheep from farmers' livestock. Whoever the thief was, they had a strange obsession with black animals. Even the black rabbit which Saleha was very fond of, did not hop by our backyard for the past few days. Saleha had left a few carrots at the usual spot in case it popped by but it never did.
The returning peace had made me brave enough to open the window shutters at home after dark. However, even with the opened windows, it did not make the nights more cooling.
"Why is so hot in here?!" I removed my doctor's coat and flung it angrily at the other end of the room. I ruffled my hair messily in rage as I stared at the ceiling fan circulating above.
I had hidden in my office the whole morning and cancelled all appointments for the rest of the day. I buried myself in work, concentrating on a backlog of reports. I moved the typewriter's carriage back one space as I typed a new alphabet over the previous letter. I repeated the step but the jarring correction just made the report look sloppy and careless. I rolled the knob at the side, slid the paper out and crumpled it with my fist. I curled the mass of crunched paper over my head and threw it at my office door just as a head popped in. The curled up paper smacked the person's head forcing me to bolt upright and straighten up my hair.
"I should have knocked. Sorry."
Thud thud thud.
I tried to hide the smile from spreading across my face as the person knocked their dainty fist on the door thrice.
"A bit redundant now, isn't it? You're already inside my office."
She blushed, closed the door behind her, sat down on the chair on the other end of the table and set a tumbler together with a small tied cloth on the desk.
"I was about to have my lunch but I thought it's best if I came here first to apologise...about last week." She bent down her head slightly, looked up at me and struggled with her words, "I- I- I...overstepped the boundaries. I thought you wanted...me; the way you stared at me. I thought the feeling was mutual. I must have misunderstood-"
I swallowed back my emotions and stopped her midway, "Let's just put it behind us, shall we?"
She smiled weakly as she looked away dejectedly, "Okay."
Trying to lighten the mood, I sniffed in the sweet aroma around me, "Is that kuih kochi I smell?"
She laughed lightheartedly as she looked at the bundle of tied cloth on the table, "You can smell it? I wrapped them in two layers of cloth."
"I haven't had those in a while," I explained a bit too eagerly.
"It's my lunch but you're free to have some." She untied the bundle of cloth and offered me one triangular-shaped dessert covered in a banana leaf.
"Thanks." I looked at her expectantly, "Just one?" I chuckled. "I was expecting a few when you said 'some'," I said playfully and reached out for more.
Before I could grab another, she brought the desserts closer to her and teased me, "Don't be a glutton. Have one first."
"Okay," I laughed and unwrapped the banana leaf and was ecstatic to discover a rare variation of kuih kochi using black glutinous rice. The more common variant was made with white glutinous rice which was usually favoured as black symbolised death. "I love the black ones. I miss seeing these. Did you make them yourself?"
She nodded. "Does it taste alright?" She asked the question just as I tasted the sweet and sticky dessert in my mouth.
"Delicious," I replied in between swallows. I fixed my eyes on hers subconsciously as I licked my lips. My neck grew warm as we held each other's gazes. It was not long before she broke eye contact.
"How's...your wife?" She handed one more kuih kochi to me.
"She's due soon," I twiddled the kuih kochi still wrapped in its banana leaf, between my hands.
"She's pregnant?" Kamsaton looked at me with surprising interest.
"She's going to be forty weeks in six days," I unwrapped the banana leaf from the dessert and popped another kuih kochi in my mouth. The sweet palm sugar and coconut filling burst in my mouth as I chewed on the soft dumpling.
"That's good news. Are you going to deliver the baby?"
"Not here, no. She doesn't like the smell of hospitals."
I popped another kuih kochi in my mouth. And another. And another. Kamsaton looked at me in amusement as I groaned in sweet pleasure with the rich flavours that erupted in my mouth.
"So, home birth?"
"Yes." I cocked my head to the side, "How did you know I have a wife?"
Kamsaton mirrored my head tilt and looked straight at me, "You talked about her."
"I'm sure I didn't."
"You did. Back at the house."
"Once. That was the only time I ever mentioned it. But you said that you already knew," I emphasised the last word.
"It must have slipped in conversation before."
"Maybe..." I sighed. "I don't remember much from last week," I stared ahead, my eyes distant. I grabbed for more kuih kochi absentmindedly and then realised I had eaten all of it. "Sorry," I looked at her guiltily. "You didn't even have any."
"It's okay. I wasn't that hungry. I had a heavy breakfast." Even though it sounded genuine, I could not help but feel ridden with guilt.
Sound of rustling cloth grabbed my attention. I noticed Kamsaton rubbed at her right shoulder, unintentionally revealing more of her upper arm. My eyes subconsciously wandered to the right. I coughed slightly as she caught me staring. I forced my eyes towards the left and loosely pointed to her right arm, "I see that the wound healed nicely."
Kamsaton lit up as though remembering something. She placed her hands in her pockets near her waist and started searching. She immediately brought her right hand upwards and slipped it in through the neck of her uniform and fiddled her brassiere. I cleared my throat and acted nonchalant as she groped deeper. She removed a tiny case and placed it on the table. She pushed the small, flat circular container towards me.
"I've been meaning to give this to you earlier."
"What's this?" I picked it up, placed it in my palm and scrutinised it.
"It's an ointment I made, mostly from herbs," she said excitedly as I placed it back on the table. "That's what I used for my wounds. It's good for deeper cuts and abrasions too." She examined my left collarbone with concern, "I'm not sure how you got yours. It seems to be getting worse." She leaned forward against the desk and slowly reached out for my collar as I tried to lean away, "I can help apply it for you now if you want-"
She gasped in surprise and tensed up as I grabbed at her wrist a little too tightly. A spark of electricity surged from where our skin touched. My pulse quickened. So did her breathing. We stayed frozen for a few moments as I stared at her with a penetrative gaze. I gently let go of her wrist. Her eyelids fluttered in shock as she sat back in the chair.
"I'll apply it myself. Thanks."
Noticing my apprehension, Kamsaton clasped the food cloths from the table and stood up uneasily, "I should leave." She turned around and walked towards the door.
"You forgot your tumbler."
Without turning back, Kamsaton muttered, "That's for you. It's a cooling drink. Helps with the heat."
* * * ◊ ˚ ◊ ˚ ◊ ˚ ◊ ˚ ◊ * * *
I took a last, long, languid sip only to suck in air. I brought down the cup and stared at its emptiness. I twisted my wrist from side to side and stared at my naked hand. I never felt the need for an extra symbol to solidify my marital status; I had always found wedding rings a hassle. I sighed deeply as I leaned back against the seat of my stationary car, turned over the cup and twisted the cover back on the tumbler. Instead of going straight home, I had stopped my car earlier, by the side of the mango trees to gather my thoughts.
First, my wife. Now, my heatiness. How could she have known?
I stared at my reflection in the rearview mirror and studied the gash on my collarbone. The gap in the wound had started to look much smaller and more pinkish. I was amazed at how fast Kamsaton's miracle ointment worked. I had applied the ointment to the wound earlier in my office and I had done the same thing to my bruised and swollen toe. Strangely, it was the only thing that helped with the swelling of the latter.
"Ahhh!"
CRASH!
"Xiǎo xīn! (Be careful!)" I blurted out in a knee-jerk response and dashed out of my car as the woman wearing a loose cheongsam tumbled to her knees along with two large metal buckets of water.
"Zāo le! (Damn it!)" the woman hastily positioned the two buckets upright amid the spillage.
"Nǐ méi shì ba? (Are you alright?)" I offered to help her up but she waved me away.
I looked over my left shoulder and noticed that the village's standpipe was not far from where we were.
"Wǒ bāng nǐ zuò. (I'll help you do it.)" I reached over to grab the two metal buckets of water that was almost empty due to the spillage earlier but she grabbed them away from me. "Bú yào dān shīn. Wǒ bù huì tōu. Wǒ zhēn de hěn xiǎng bāngzhù nǐ. (Don't worry. I'm not going to steal. I really want to help you.)" After a few moments of hesitation, the woman nodded at me and passed me the two metal buckets. "Děng yī xià. (Hang on a second.)"
"Xiè xie nǐ. (Thank you.)"
"Xiǎo yì sī. (It's no big deal.)" I smiled at her reassuringly and made my way towards the village's standpipe.
I was seventh in line. The man in front of me grumbled as he flapped a rattan fan at his face while he waited impatiently. I looked over his shoulder and saw a lady in her mid-twenties showering her two toddlers at the village's standpipe. I sighed deeply. It was going to be a long wait. I looked behind me and searched for the woman that I was helping. She was now standing but her head was bowed low and a man was berating her while staring at me.
"Lagi lama eh, Kak Tipah? (Is it going to be long, sis Tipah?)" the teenager that was second in line asked the woman at the standing pipe.
"Tipah! Kasi lelaki depan aku ni ambil air dulu! (Tipah! Let this man in front of me take water first!)" A much older Malay woman shouted behind me and nudged me forward, inviting a chorus of disgruntled grumbles from people who were waiting much longer than me. "Ning tadi terjatuh. Habis semua air tertumpah dari baldi. Budak ni tengah tolong ambil air untuk Ning. Geming tengah marah Ning sekarang. Kau tahu lah si Geming tu kalau dia marah macam mana. Tak tentu pasal nanti sepak bininya. Aku kesiankan Ning. (Ning tripped earlier. The water in the buckets is all gone. This kid is helping to refill the buckets for Ning. Geming is scolding Ning right now. You know how Geming is when he's angry. He will slap his wife without any rhyme and reason. I pity Ning."
"Ah, ye lah, ye lah. (Ah, alright, alright.)" Tipah stopped showering the two toddlers and step aside from the standing pipe and beckoned me over in Mandarin much to my amusement, "Lái, lái! (Come, come!)"
I hurriedly filled the metal buckets to the brim with water. Unsure whether to say my thanks in Malay, Mandarin or English, I simply nodded my thanks. Tipah nodded in turn and looked over my shoulder to where Ning and Geming stood with an expression that told me I needed to hurry up. I brisk walked back to where Ning stood, careful not to spill the water in the buckets.
"Nǐ wèi shéme bu xiǎo xīn?! (Why are you so careless?!)" I slowed down in time to hear Geming reprimanding Ning whose back was facing me. Ning was holding back her sniffles and looking down submissively as Geming shook her arms roughly in his hands.
"Nǐ hǎo (Hello)," I addressed the man before me. He let go of Ning's arms and only replied with a snort. I swallowed back my anger as I saw red marks from where he touched her. That would bruise in no time. I moved forward a few steps, walked past Ning and stood in front of the man, sizing him up. Without turning back to face Ning, my eyes zeroed in on Geming's and I addressed the next question to Ning, "Tā shì nǐ de zhàngfū ma? (Is he your husband?)"
"Shì. Nǐ shì shéi? (Yes. Who are you?)" the husband demanded in a threatening manner.
"Wǒ zài bāng nǐ de qīzi. (I was helping your wife.)"
"Wǒ de fū rén bù xū yào nǐ de bāngzhù. (My wife doesn't need your help.)"
I turned my head around to face Ning but my eyes trailed downwards soon after. I blinked a few times in surprise as my eyes fell on the woman's belly. I had not realised she was pregnant. I immediately felt sick as flashes of the penanggal entered my subconscious mind and I was suddenly worried for Ning's safety. I must have stared at Ning's belly for a long time because the husband bellowed and shoved me aside, "Nǐ kan shén me?! (What are you looking at?!)"
I looked over again at Ning and she was subtly covering her chest area and I suddenly felt embarrassed. They must have misunderstood my actions and assumed I was staring at Ning's ample bosoms. "Qǐ hǎo míng zì le ma? (Have you picked a name yet?)" I asked warmly and tried to act nonchalant. Ning slowly brought her arms down to her side and shook her head. Geming relaxed his stance slightly too. "Nǐmen yào nánshēng huán shì nǚshēng? (You guys want a boy or a girl?"
I am not one for small talks but I knew that if I walked away before Geming had calmed down, Ning would bear the brunt of Geming's anger. Ning seemed to tense up at my question and choked back her emotions.
Geming crossed his arms and tapped his feet impatiently, "Shuō wán le méi you? (Have you finished speaking yet?)" Pointing at the two buckets in my hands, he flicked his finger towards Ning and looked at me, "Nǐ zài děng shénme? Gěi tā. (What are you waiting for? Give it to her.)"
This buffoon wanted Ning to carry the two heavy buckets of water herself? He cannot be serious.
"Jiè guò yī xià (Please excuse me)," another Chinese lady slid past Geming and faced me. She held out her hands, "Lái. Gěi wǒ. (Come. Give it to me.)"
Geming rolled his eyes, turned on his heels and huffed away.
"Ná, qù ba (Here, take it)," I gave the two heavy buckets to the lady reluctantly and stared at Geming. He should be the one carrying these.
"Dàjiě... (Big sister...)" Ning protested as the slightly older woman struggled to carry the hefty buckets.
"Màn zou (Watch your step)," The older woman coaxed Ning softly as she walked by her side.
"Kuài diǎn! (Hurry up!)" Geming shouted impatiently up ahead and I could not help but grit my teeth.
* * * ◊ ˚ ◊ ˚ ◊ ˚ ◊ ˚ ◊ * * *
"Baba dah balik! Baba dah balik! (Daddy's home! Daddy's home!)" Saleha came running down the stairs barefooted as I turned off the engine, got out of my car and closed the door behind me. I beamed widely as she hugged me tightly.
"Come on, Baba! We've been waiting for you. Mama cooked your favourite!" My face instantly soured as soon as my wife was mentioned. I swallowed back the hostility down my throat, took off my shoes at the bottom of the stairs and rinsed my feet with the water that we kept in a potted basin at the entrance of our house. I dragged my feet up the stairs and trudged behind Saleha.
"Would you like a drink?" Melati served an opened coconut at the coffee table as I slumped back against the one-seater teak sofa.
"I already had a drink on the way home. I'm not that thirsty anymore," I said grouchily.
"But this will help cool you down," Melati coaxed, nudging the drink closer to me.
I exhaled angrily through my nostrils and closed my eyes, "I said I'm not thirsty."
"I climbed the coconut tree just to get one for you, Baba!" Saleha chirped happily.
I opened my eyes slightly and smiled at her, "Then you should have it. For your hard work."
"You have it, Mama. I heard from the old lady that coconut juice is good for the baby," Saleha danced and twirled her body towards the kitchen while she hummed a catchy tune to herself.
"What old lady?" I sat up straight and looked at Melati questioningly.
"Mak Bidan," Melati answered.
"The midwife from the neighbouring kampung?"
"You know her?"
"I've heard about her."
"We met at the fish market this morning. She introduced herself to me and asked if I wanted to try her prenatal massage."
"You said no, didn't you?"
"I said yes, actually. I was curious. So I invited her over. She was so nice about it all. She gave me a complimentary Javanese full body massage."
"Complimentary?" I asked suspiciously. "You invited her over?"
"Yes. She was free for the rest of the day. Actually, she was here in the neighbourhood because she had an appointment in the morning with a pregnant lady living next to Ah Teck's house. Do you know Ah Teck? The owner with lots of dogs? She did mention the pregnant lady's name but I can't remember it now. Mak Bidan and I talked the whole day after my massage. Such a nice woman. Saleha even warmed up to her."
I sank back in my chair uncomfortably.
Why did I feel so uneasy?
"I know you don't agree with traditional methods..." Melati's voice trailed off. "We can stop talking about it if you want." She paused before placing a hand lovingly on my chest, "How's work?"
"Hmmph," I grunted and brushed Melati's hand away. I looked over at Saleha who was humming a catchy tune and setting up dishes on the dining mat.
"Saleha's going to hit puberty soon."
"She's eight," I replied with annoyance.
"I had my first period when I was ten." Melati sighed, "Don't you think it's about time that we taught her how to pray and recite the Quran? She's our responsibility."
"You're at home all the time. Why don't you teach her yourself?" I replied with a slight irritation in my voice.
"How about we teach her later after dinner? You can lead the prayer-" Melati stopped just as I burned her eyes with mine. Taken aback, Melati said softly, "Maybe she can join us next time?"
"I'm not joining you for prayers." I had no mood to pray.
"I haven't seen you pray the mandatory five daily prayers for a long time. I want you to be in Heaven with me," Melati looked at me pleadingly and I rolled my eyes. Melati's eyes started to water. "I'm just worried. What about the 'trials of the grave'?"
My nostrils flared at the mention of the punishment that Muslims' souls go through for their sins as their bodies laid in their graves, awaiting the Day of Resurrection. For example, skipping one of the daily five prayers was already seen as a huge sin. I was growing weary of these daily reminders from Melati.
"Enough of this prayer nonsense! I don't want to hear about it anymore!" I hissed and knocked on the wooden armrest which caused Melati to jerk backwards.
"You've changed...this isn't like you," Melati whispered.
"You worry about your own grave. I'll worry about mine," I gave Melati a confrontational stare.
Unaware of the heated exchange, Saleha spun into the room towards me and grabbed my hands. "C'mon, Baba, let's have dinner! You've got to try this! Mama cooked your favourite food!" Saleha squealed excitedly as she pulled me off the sofa and towards the dining area.
My frown melted into a smile and I laughed half-heartedly. As soon as we reached the dining area, I gently released Saleha's grip on my hands. I cleaned my hands with the stainless steel handwashing pot that was placed near the food. I could not help but chuckle when I saw my daughter clapped her hands together excitedly as she sat down cross-legged on the floor.
"Come, Mama! Join us!" Saleha waved Melati over.
I looked over at Melati who was still kneeling at the sofa, her eyes watery. I sighed in annoyance at Melati and joined Saleha near the dining mat. I was not in the mood to eat but Saleha's exuberance was hard to ignore. Saleha had already scooped some rice and portions of other dishes onto my plate.
I eyed the food suspiciously. Something smelled different.
"Hmmm..." Saleha bent down and inhaled the aroma of the food. "It smells amazing! Mama cooked it all afternoon!" Bringing her two palms upwards, Saleha said her bismillah and recited the prayer before eating, "Allahumma barik lana fima razaqtana wa qina adhabannar. (Oh, God! Bless the food You provided us and save us from the punishment of hellfire.)" She smiled at me as she brought her opened palms upwards and wiped her face. "Aamiin. (Amen.)" Saleha giggled and whispered playfully to herself, "Now the devil can't eat my food! Hahaha!" Saleha looked at me and asked, "Have you recited the doa (prayer) yet, Baba?"
I lied as I nodded at her.
Prayers before eating are so troublesome.
I carefully took a few pinches of the different varieties of food on my plate and mixed them with a small lump of rice with my right hand. I pinched the lump with my fingers and took a bite.
"Isn't it tasty, Baba?" Saleha asked excitedly as she took a few bites herself.
I retched and spat the food back. It tasted rotten.
"What's this, woman? Are you trying to poison me? It has gone bad!" I looked at Melati with an accusing stare. Melati looked at me confused as she got up from the living room and fumbled her way over.
Saleha took a bite from her plate, "What are you talking about, Baba? It's delicious!"
I smacked Saleha's hand away as she took another pinch of rice mixed with the gravy and brought the contents near her opened mouth.
"Don't eat that, Saleha!" I bellowed.
"But, Baba-" Saleha stretched out her arm to reach for another pinch of rice from her plate.
"I said don't!" I thundered as I flung her plate across the room. The sound of shattering glass startled Saleha and she looked at me deeply frightened.
I lurched for the next plate. Melati kneeled to intercept me but accidentally slipped.
"Mama!" Saleha gasped and rushed to Melati's aid.
I flung another plate against the wall forcefully and roared, "If you had listened to me and agreed to get the dining table and chairs, we wouldn't be sitting on a mat during meals. You wouldn't have slipped and hurt yourself. You only have yourself to blame."
"Sayang (Dear)! Why are you saying all this?" She looked at me, hurt.
"You don't want to move. I get it," I said with malice. "But serving me spoilt dinner just because I don't sleep on the same bed anymore? Don't make me sleep someplace else other than our home," I threatened.
"Sayang (Dear)!" Melati grabbed at my ankles as I got up.
I jerked myself free, "Don't call me that."
Grabbing a lighted kerosene lamp, I left the house, got on my bicycle and rode off into the night.
* * * ◊ ˚ ◊ ˚ ◊ ˚ ◊ ˚ ◊ * * *
I sat and leaned my back against a tree branch where I had parked the bicycle. As I dangled my feet in the air, I looked in the opposite direction where there was a long stretch of fence made from zinc material. Ah Teck's dogs must be asleep. I was not sure how many dogs Ah Teck had under his possession but I had been careful not to wake any of them up when I rode past earlier. I turned my head to the sound of a quick rustle beside me but saw nothing. It could not have been the wind as it was a hot and humid night. I leaned back and closed my eyes but instead of the sound of crickets that I heard earlier, the harsh cacophony of barking dogs from Ah Teck's yard took over and filled the air.
Immediately, I opened my eyes and was invited by the sight of the rusty zinc fence shaking violently as the dogs continued barking. However, the barks quickly hushed down to soft whimpers and the fence stopped shaking.
That was...strange.
"Hen tòng! Hen tòng! (It hurts! It hurts!)" A female voice rented the air.
It sounded familiar.
"Zhù kou! (Shut up!)" A rough male voice quickly followed.
I sat up and followed the sound of the voices. It was from the house next to Ah Teck's. I climbed down the tree hurriedly and hid behind it.
"Lǎogōng...Bāng wǒ...Hen tòng... (Husband... Help me...It hurts...)" the female voice cried weakly.
Soon after, I saw Geming stormed out of the house angrily, squatted at the steps, covered his ears and screamed, "Zhù kou! Zhù kou! (Shut up! Shut up!)"
I approached the house carefully, intending to speak to Geming but something else caught my attention.
The penanggal was floating outside the bedroom window and its entrails were stretched inside the room.
__________________________________
CREDITS:
Background Music: Myuu - Troublemaker Theme
Youtube Link: https://youtu.be/OS-Zc-ZDZUI
Channel Link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiSKnkKCKAQVxMUWpZQobuQ