One long month passed by. Jenny had managed to get a job as an accountant in a local bank, and I was a part-time waitress. We were able to get by. My shift would start at nine in the morning and end at four, this was a good arrangement because at 4:30pm going, I would go through hell. I would puke, feel dizzy, and sometimes have stomach pains. My belly had grown a little, I'll say about 0.002%. I would never leave the house after coming back from work. I didn't want to. Jenny's house was a huge one, but soon I knew every nook and cranny of it.
During this past month, I hadn't contacted anyone from my family, and neither had they contacted me. The only person I spoke to on a regular basis was my granny, I called her every week to tell her how I was, and in turn, she'd tell me how things were, back at home. Mom and dad hadn't spoken about me once, and didn't seem to care about my well being, even though Grandma said they were still angry and in shock, and I shouldn't mind their actions, it still hurt me immensely. If I were in their place, I would never do that to my child, I mean, how mad were they that even after a month, they still refused to talk to me.
Jason had tried to call me 3 weeks after I'd left my home. I cut the call immediately. I would never talk to him again, after that horrible thing he had done to me during our last encounter. Though, there were times when I wondered, what if he called to apologize, to make amends, to want to get back together? Well, whatever. I didn't need him, I of course still loved him, but I definitely never wanted to see him again. He had hurt me so much. It was HIS child after all.
''Let's think of baby names'' Jenny told me, slumping onto the blue sofa beside me. It was Sunday, I had gone to work but Jenny hadn't, instead she went to church and came back home with some Chinese food.
I pretended not to hear her because I didn't want to talk about the thing in my stomach, so I pretended to be interested in the BBC news on the screen. She grabbed the remote and switched of the black flat screen TV. I sighed.
''Why should we worry about naming this thing? I'll give it up for adoption anyway'' I said, resting my head on my hand, while my elbow leaned against the blue sofa. Jenny looked at me in a disappointed manner.
''But, this baby is your responsibility'' she said.
''A responsibility I don't want'' I said, looking down at my stomach. I imagined a little boy or girl developing slowly in my stomach, but unlike most people, this thought didn't give me pleasure. It gave me annoyance, anger, frustration.
''Sometimes, life gives us responsibilities we don't want. It can be very hard to accept, especially if those responsibilities affect our lives in very unpleasant ways, but we can't ignore these responsibilities, it's just not right. If you give this baby up, and it gets adopted, somewhere along the line, his or her adoptive parents will tell the child the truth, and don't you think they'll hate their mother for leaving them? Don't you think the'd get hurt?'' Jenny asked with her big, hazel eyes gazing straight into my plain gray eyes.
''I don't know. Let me see the names you got'' I said, as Jenny clapped her hands in excitement and passed me a piece of paper with a list:
BOY NAMES. GIRL NAMES.
Christopher. Suzanne.
Mark. Devona.
Bruce. Millie.
Toby. Annie.
Jacob. Vanessa.
Chris. Iris.
James. Janette.
Roy. Gabriela
Wesley. Roxy.
Sylvester. Rebecca.
Harry. Estelle.
Bobby. Katrina.
William. Dorothy
Anthony. Louisa
Ethan. Lucinda.
''So, what do you think?'' Jenny asked eagerly. I took the pen laying on the table beside me and wrote''burdeno'' at the bottom of the boy's names, and burdena'' at the bottom of the girl's names.
''These are the perfect names for the boy or girl I'm pregnant with'' I told Jenny, passing the paper back to her.
''Burdeno, burdena?'' she asked, looking confused.
''Because whatever gender this kid is, they are my burden'' I said, and not waiting for Jenny to start lecturing me, I walked out of the living room to my bed room, which had plain white sheets and blue covers. They were really soft and always rubbed softly against my skin, whenever I lay on them.
Jenny opened my door.
''Have you ever heard of knocking?'' I said, without looking at her face.
''This is MY house. I don't need to knock whenever I want to enter a room.'' she walked into my room and sat beside me. She rested her hand on my tummy, and moved it around. Weirded out, I got up, and shook her hands off my body.
''What are you trying to do, Jenny?'' I asked her, trying to hide my annoyance.
''Trying to feel the breathing of the little critter in there'' she laughed, pointing to my tummy, I looked down and did an overly dramatic eye roll at her, she mimicked my eye roll and that made me laugh.
''Hey, don't mimic me'' I laughed, grabbing a pillow and hitting her. She grabbed another pillow and hit me back, which was the beginning of a fun, but aggressive pillow fight. We both started hitting each other as stuffing and laughter filled the air.
The fun got ruined when I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my stomach that traveled down to my lower back and upper thigh and I started wailing in pain. Jenny stopped hitting me and held my hand, asking me what was wrong. I couldn't answer, the pain was too much.
''Come with me, let's go to the hospital'' Jenny held me and we went to her brand new car and sat inside. As she drove me to the local hospital in the area, the pain slowly subsided.
''I hope it's not because I hit you too hard'' she said, biting her nail nervously.
When we arrived in the hospital, Jenny and I went to see Dr. Adams, a friend of Dr. Ross, and Jenny told him what had happened.
''Please run some tests and tell me what's wrong, doc'' said Jenny, in a panicky voice. I silently prayed in my head that something serious WAS wrong, and that the baby had died or something.
''There's no need for tests, please. That was probably just a contraction. It happens to every pregnant woman, so there's really no need to worry.'' the doctor said to my disappointment. Jenny nodded.
''Thanks, doc. I'm so glad nothing's wrong'' Jenny said.
''Well, I'm not'' I said, under my breath. Jenny glared at me, but said nothing.
''You should always relax in a comfortable position in a contraction, until it stops'' the doctor told Jenny and I other ways to deal with contraptions, but I didn't pay attention. I wasn't interested in what he was saying, even though the information was useful.
We left the hospital in silence. Jenny stopped at the supermarket and passed me a few dollar bills.
''Go buy some lettuce and tomatoes and lentils, I want to make you salad'' she said as I took the money.
''Why?'' I asked, rubbing my lower abdomen, it was still a little bit sore from the contraction.
''Because I want your baby to be a strict vegetarian. So, why don't they start now?'' she asked. I exhaled angrily and looked back at the money. Benjamin Franklin's face stared right back at me. I got out of the car and walked inside the super market. I rolled my eyes and started looking for the necessary things to buy. I got them and rushed back to Jenny's car.
We arrived home and I felt very tired for some strange reason. I laid down, but felt like urgently puking, trust my pregnancy to bother me like this.
My puking episodes were always violent and painful and I hated them. As I got out of the bath room, I saw my phone ringing. I picked it up and it was mom. I was so shocked, I dropped the phone, picking it up I said ''hello?'' there was silence on the other end, and then the person hung up. I dried the tears in my eyes, just as Jenny walked in holding a bowl of salad. Mom called me, then hung up, was she trying to play with my emotions?
''What's wrong?'' she asked, putting the bowl down, and looking at me.
''I'll talk about it later'' I got up and ran downstairs to the living room, and cried myself to sleep.