*mature content is present in this chapter; viewer discretion is advised
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Court Adjourned
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Changbin didn't know why, as if he ever does. He didn't know why he felt so good, bad, triumphant, but guilty. He was swallowing to many things at once, and most of them didn't feel too great.
The sheer thought of going to court was way too overwhelming. Probably more than it should be. Them second he remembered he had to go, his breathing would quicken, his hands would shake, and he felt everything would press on his shoulders with ten times more weight than it had before.
"You okay?" Changbin jumped, his hands immediately hiding in his hoodie pockets to conceal his anxiety from the upcoming person.
He didn't need to that, the person being his tall, freckled, friend. "Oh, uh, I'm fine. I'm fine"
The boy nodded, still not sure he was half capable of walking to the car without tripping over air. Watching Changbin carefully, he heavily sighed and scratched his head from stress.
"Changbin," he said, the short boy looking at him, nervous but still somewhat composed, "if you feel like you may cry, just let it out. Don't care if you look weak, or if people pity you. Don't think it'll make you look like you're doing it for show, or it'll sway votes. If you need to cry, cry. My shoulder and I will be there for you."
Changbin stared at him, a little bit in amazement and smiled, one the was full of gratitude and hope. "Thank you, Felix."
Felix smiled back, finally content that Changbin knew he would be there for him.
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The court room was larger than expected, and Changbin was as close to throwing up as Felix was. The two had made pact to hold each others hair back if they needed it.
Felix was pleased Changbin was able to joke around like that. Like he normally would, instead of just nodding and looking away. He seemed ready to tell his side, make sure it never happened to him or anyone again.
Changbin was nervous, but he couldn't help the feeling of guilt. Hyunjin was a good guy, and he would be wasted talent rotting in a prison cell. Changbin knew how distraught his mother would be, how she would cry and blame herself for his behavior.
The thought of Hyunjin's mother madeh im realize why he felt guilty, especially when he saw Hyunjin walk in a stupidly bright salmon colored suit, and an evil smirk on his annoyingly handsome face.
He couldn't deny that salmon was a nice color on Hyunjin though. Felix couldn't either, but god forbid, they would not admit it out loud.
After swearing to not lie, court begun. Hyunjin was called up first to give his side of the story. It was vague and airy, a lot of grey area.
Felix was next, unable to describe the incident that led to court, but the days before and moments after it had happened. He explained how he was involved with both Hyunjin and Changbin, seemingly embarrassed having to tell the judge and jury about the agreement he and Changbin had made.
Seungmin, the person Hyunjin had just gotten out of a relationship with, was there. Seungmin had explained that few night before Hyunjin attacked, Hyunjin had told Seungmin about attacking Changbin, and possibly Felix. He had told Seungmin that even if Changbin was to fly solo, he would have still attacked Changbin.
Then Changbin was up. He was shaking so much it was visible, and he put his hands in his pockets out of habit. A habit he had just recently developed. "The day after Hyunjin and I broke up, I walked up to Felix and proposed the deal of him being my fake boyfriend, and him getting to cheat off me if needed to stay on the dance team. I asked him to help me with this because he was on the team with Hyunjin, and I knew him somewhat well."
Changbin looked around the room, eyes landing straight on Felix's. His tensed frame relaxed the minute he locked eyes with the other, and he continued. "We weren't officially broken up at the time. Taking a break, kind of. Since Hyunjin had cheated on me, I wanted to get back at him and cheat on him with someone he was relatively close to. Felix was the perfect person for the job."
"After school, Hyunjin showed up at my house, and pinned me up against the wall. He demanded that I was going to have sex with him, and if I didn't he would force me." Changbin eyes had now wandered to Hyunjin's, an icy glare throwing off the boys smirk. "I head butted his nose. I didn't tell anybody. A week had gone by before he attacked me again."
"Around this time, I had shown affection with Felix in front of Hyunjin, as well as gone out the previous weekend to go Christmas shopping. That Monday, I had been walking in the hall and he approached me. He didn't want to talk with me in the hall, and pulled me into the janitors closet without my consent and had tried to-"
Changbin's voice had caught, the attention being on him making him shake and breath uncontrollably. Felix looked at him, his soft eyes reminding the boy that it was okay to cry.
"He tried to rape me."
Felix breath also hitched, and from the corner of his eye, he could see Hyunjin crying. The fact that the guy who was so cocky and smirking a few minutes ago was now crying over his ex confessing.
"Felix found us in the janitors closet before he could get to me, and Hyunjin went off to class. Neither of us told anyone. That following weekend, the thought of Hyunjin trying to rape me lead me to self harm. Felix and I studied that weekend and we became closer. The following Monday, the day we took our math exam, Hyunjin caught me in the halls and dragged me into a janitors closet near the dance studio."
Hyunjin's breathing started to quicken. He knew what he did, he regretted it. He felt desperately guilty, unable to breathe correctly the past week, like a fish out of water.
Hyunjin didn't want to hear the sin he committed.
"He knows my study habits, as we had dated for a year prior to the break up. He knew I was going to be tired and drained, and only focus on the test. I was an easy target that day."
Hyunjin looked down, starting to pick at his cuticles, a nervous, guilty, and ugly habit he picked up on when he was a young boy. He wanted to zone out so bad, but his mind made him hear the confession.
"He slammed me against the wall opposite of the door, and pulled my shirt over my head, rubbing his hands up and down my back. Then he pulled my jeans down hastily. I couldn't move, I was too tired to think straight. I was helpless and couldn't breathe enough to scream for help."
Hyunjin covered his ears, though he couldn't look away from Changbin's look of hatred. His spine shivered, and he had forgotten the salty drops of fluid coming from his eyes.
"Then he did the deed, raped me, put my clothes on for me. He told me if I ever told anyone he would kill me and Felix, and that I better act normal."
He was gasping for air now, sobbing. Completely torn after having to relive that awful moment that ruined his life.
"I guess Felix knew me better then I thought, because he asked me if I was okay. Then he found Hyunjin and finally told someone."
Changbin's voice was barely above a whisper. He wanted court to be adjourned.
The judges eyes held pity in them, but he tone was stern as he bellowed a quick recess. Changbin immediately walked out, Felix following behind him in a swift motion as Hyunjin just sat in despair.
Felix held Changbin's hair off his forehead as he threw up what he ate for breakfast, the mix of toilet water, puke, and salty tears creating and awfully pungent smell.
"Hey, hey. You're okay." Felix said, rubbing the boys back. It was the least he could do.
After the brief recess was over, Changbin held Felix's hand over the railing the separated the court room into sections. He needed the warmth Felix gave off to stay conscious.
The jury had declared Hyunjin guilty, and Hyunjin willingly got up. The sight was heartbreaking, and Changbin couldn't stand to watch it as he heard Hyunjin's mother's shrill screams in the background.
"Court Adjourned."
Changbin cried into Felix's chest, so hard it shook both boys.