"YOU LIFT MY HEART UP
WHEN THE REST OF ME IS DOWN"
april 30, 2019
9:21am
——
LAST NIGHT I BROKE UP with my boyfriend.
i was in love with him and i still am.
but our relationship was solely for him to make his other ex-girlfriend jealous; which only ended up hurting me.
i miss him so much. it hurts so bad.
i picked up my phone from the charger, and called my best friend, aryn.
i waited for her to pick up the phone before i started talking.
"aryn," i sniffled.
"mercy? are you crying?"
"can you come over? i need you right now," i said as a tear rolled down my cheek.
"i'm on my way," she said before she hung up.
a few minutes went by, and aryn walked through my bedroom door.
"mercy, why are you crying? what happened?" she said as she sat on my bed next to me.
"l-last night, i b-broke up with daniel," i struggled to get out.
her eyes widened, "why in the world would you do that!? did he hurt you? did he cheat? oh my god, i'm going to hurt him"
"it was fake. it was all fake!" i yelled.
"what do you mean it was fake?"
"our relationship was fake. he just wanted to make his ex-girlfriend jealous," i cried.
"oh," aryn put her hand on my back and rubbed it.
"well, why didn't you tell me?" she asked.
i sniffled, "because we didn't want anyone to find out he wanted kassidy back."
"i'm just gonna call marshall and tell him to tell you everything," i grabbed my phone.
"wait a minute, marshall knows?" she asked.
i nodded, "he's known for like a week or so."
"who else knows?"
"you're the only person that knows i broke up with him, but just my mom knows about him wanting kassidy," i explained.
i texted marshall and asked if he could come home. he responded in seconds saying he was on his way.
"marshall's on his way," i sniffled.
we sat in silence for a few minutes.
"so...you went through this all alone?" she asked quietly.
i nodded.
aryn pulled me into a hug, "oh, mercy. i'm so sorry, i wish i would've noticed something! i wish i could've been there for you, i'm so sorry."
"it's not your fault," i gave her a small smile as we separated.
"you did really good at hiding it, it really seemed like y'all two were totally in love."
"well, i was in love with him. he just wasn't feeling the same."
"what did daniel say? about you wanting to break up?" she asked.
i looked down at my hands in my lap. i realized i never let him say anything after that.
"what did he say?" aryn asked again.
"i-i didn't...i hung up before he could say anything."
"what!? mercy! so you just broke up with him without letting him say his peace!?" she yelled at me.
i sat there.
"what if he actually does love you, but he never got the chance to say it!" aryn yelled.
"but he doesn't..."
"you don't know that! you never let him say anything!"
i should've at least called him back..
"did he text you after you hung up on him?"
i nodded, "yeah a bunch."
aryn threw her hands in the air, "mercy! he probably loves you, then! you never let him say anything so you don't even know his feelings!"
"b-but a few weeks ago he said he was still in love with kassidy, and you can't just fall out of love that fast," i explained.
"maybe he lied! maybe he just told you that because he thought you didn't feel he same," she tried to make up something...which did make sense.
"oh."
"of course, you wouldn't know that because you never let him say anything," aryn said.
i heard the front door shut loudly from down stairs.
"mercy?" i heard marshall yell.
"up here!" i yelled back.
seconds later, marshall bursted into my room.
"what happened? what's wrong?" he said as he walked over to me.
"she broke up with daniel last night," aryn said for me.
"oh, yay!" marshall said.
"but she never let him say anything."
"oh, no. why in the world would you do that!?"
"honestly, i don't know what i was thinking! i just wanted to get it over with," i tried to explain.
"you should call him." aryn said.
"what!?" i said.
"yeah, call him! put him on speaker," marshall sat down in front of me next to aryn.
"are you crazy? i-i..." i tried to make up a reason to not call daniel.
"don't make excuses, i'll do it for you," aryn grabbed my phone from me.
"aryn! do-"
i stopped talking as soon as i heard the phone ringing.
"hello? mercy?" i heard daniel's voice coming from the other side of the phone.
"hi, did i wake you?" i asked quietly.
"no, no. i've been up for a bit," he said.
"so, uh, i'm sorry i never let you say anything last night," i played with the hem of my comforter sheet.
"what did you want to say?" i asked him.
"uh, it's nothing.." he said.
"no, i want you to talk to me. it's okay."
"uhm, okay."
"so, uh, i guess i wasn't completely honest with you either," daniel said.
i looked up at aryn. was her theory actually true?
"what do you mean?" i asked daniel.
"remember after the concert when you asked if i was in love with you...and i told you i still had feelings for kassidy?" daniel's voice said from my phone's speakers.
"uh, yeah.." i trailed off.
my gaze was fixed between aryn and marshall. could aryn actually be right about something for once?
"well...i wasn't telling you the truth. i just told you that because i didn't want you to get weirded out an ghost me. the last time i wanted to get back with kassidy was before our one month anniversary." daniel explained.
"so...what are you saying?" i asked him.
"i love you, mercy."
——
hi here's chapter one of the sequel to midnight train <3
i really have no ideas on to where this book could go so if you have any ideas to where this book could go, PLEASE comment them and i'll take them into consideration :)
published: 12.26.19 1:56pm
have a good day!!
- chanel
@SEAVEYAVRY