WARNING: A VERRRRY VAGUE ATTEMPT AT SEXUAL HARASSMENT IS MADE IN THIS CHAPTER I THOUGHT I'D JUST WARN Y'ALL EVEN THOUGH it's HORRIBLY WRITTEN DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE AND DOESN'T GET VERY FAR AND IS ACTUALLY NOT EVEN REAL BUT YOU NEVER KNOW
oh yeah also: the gosh darn author's note is in bold NOT ITALICS (YES I SAW THAT COMMENT AND YOU CAN PERSONALLY HECK OFF)
"Paige!" Ophelia screams in my ear, violently shaking me.
aaaAAAAAAA
"Get up you lazy brat!" she punches my arm. I sit up slowly, and glare at her. "Guess what?" she asks, but doesn't let me actually guess. "The picker's secretary just called,"
The who?
"and guess what?" she doesn't let me guess. "You are taking your test, like, almost last!"
What test?
"Like almost last? I, like, omg, kind of like, don't care." I frown, mocking Ophelia's annoying vocabulary.
I AM SO FUNNY harharhahrrrhhrahr
"Whatever." she shrugged, and trotted out of the room.
Neigh 701702
"Yeah, and your stupid friends stopped by." she peeks her head back inside the door frame. "They are both taking the test after you." she turns around and walks away.
After their last interaction, Buddy and Marcus just went outside and waited I guess.
I rub my forehead and lay back down in my bed. At least both Marcus and Buddy were going after me. I feel too anxious to eat, or do anything at all really, and I hardly pay attention to anything all day, even the drive to the large, marble building.
That was fucking quick?
The waiting room
Where?! What the fuck?
is jam-packed with anxious teenagers and their ecstatic parents, as well as older siblings squawking and little kids crawling around the floor, screaming and crying.
Honestly same
I've never been claustrophobic, but this is nothing I enjoy. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Marcus with his mom and older sister, Loretta, leaving the room.
"Paige! Hi!" he yells, waving like a crazy person.
Only crazy people wave.
I wave back, but not before my parents groan and mumble something about 'no escape.'
Okay, I chuckled.
A plump young woman holding a clipboard waddles up to me.
Is she a penguin?
"Paige Vassette, you're up next." she mutters, patting my back and leading me through the waiting room and into a narrow hallway. She opens a dark grey door on the left, and motions for me to enter.
I'm sensing a theme. Everything is just happening so quickly and...conveniently.
"Is there anything...I should know beforehand?" I mutter.
Maybe they should tell you what the fuck is even going on because I sure as hell don't know.
"Just remember than nothing that happens to you in there is real." she says, without showing any kind of emotion. She has probably had thousands of times to rehearse that line, for a moment, I kind of pity her. What a boring job.
She gently pushes me past the threshold of the grey door.
Don'T tOUCH mE
The only sound I can hear, is the sound of my own breath, echoing off of the room with no depth or corners, followed by the beat of my heart pounding. I feel like I'm falling, but there is nothing to see that would confirm that sense.
There's probably a joke to be made here but honestly my brain is so fried I'm not even going to try.
And then there is an annoyingly bland and high pitched feminine voice.
Where? WHere is it coming from?
"Good evening, Paige Vassete, today I am going to test you with a series of simulations. The particular animal that I believe you need or deserve, will be your new familiar." The voice seems oddly young.
What voice??
I watch with concern as the empty void evaporates into a thick green forest. My shoes sink in the mud and filthy river. The air smells something like wet fur and rotting wood. The trees are tall, and not spread very far apart from each other. The birds are boisterous to a point where it almost hurts.
What is hurting? The birds?
The humidity is unbearable. I sweep a hand across my forehead,
She has brooms for hands
tucking my long blond hair behind my ear, and step out of the dirty puddle. I see my reflection in the murky river, my bright blue eyes and blond hair awkwardly contrasting with my surroundings.
I mean, I guess it's better than the "I dragged myself out of bed and caught a glimpse of my piercing blue orbs in the mirror, oh god I'm so ugly!"
The sound of quick footsteps on dry leaves makes me jump, and I turn around to face a large grey wolf, with sharp yellow teeth and a foaming mouth.
As an eighth-grader, I knew how wolves worked.
It is poised in an attack stance, ready to pounce at any second.
kiLL HEr
The hair on it's back stands up as I try to appear larger. Is that what you're supposed to do in this kind of situation?
Definitely not.
The dog leaps at my neck with its teeth bared. Jumping a foot to the right, I slam my fist on its snout.
Oof
The wolf stumbles forward and lunges again. I block its attack with one hand,
Literally how
and with the other attempt to grab it by the scruff of its neck, but my hand slips and it pins me to the ground. Saliva drips down the hand that covers the wolf's mouth, it's breath is worse than Marcus's, if that's even possible.
Why is that the description I chose to go with?
I pound on its stomach before it tries to eat my face off, and sort of knock the wolf off of me.
This was the funniest fucking image in mind.
Standing up quickly, I kick the wolf in the face.
Leave the fckn wolf alone
It whimpers, but doesn't back down. I crouch on my hands and knees, and do my best to imitate the wolf's actions, snarling, and eagerly waiting to pounce. I yell incoherently, hoping to intimidate the wolf.
She's just beating her chest and yodeling
All of a sudden, the wolf vanishes, melting away into the ground. I feel the earth beneath me start to shake, and then crumble away, until I am falling off the side of a cliff, plummeting headfirst to the ground. I try to twist around so that when I land, I will land on my feet.
I had a momentary sensation of weightless free-fall, of the ground not being quite where I expected it to be; a step in the darkness where no steps exist. I cushioned the fall by bending my knees and catching myself with my right hand sprawled on the putrid earth. I had an immediate, shocking sense of how cold it was, the bitter sting of the night air; the cold prickle of the stiff gas; the near frozen river, trickling quietly over my shivering fingers. I shake the mud from my hands and stand up, surveying what I can see of my surroundings. The moon is full in the sky, and other than the grass, there is no other vegetation.
Umm. Why was that suddenly like....okay? Oh yeah, because every once in a while over the past few years I would come back and edit the story, but only a paragraph or two at a time. Oh yeah, and I would also change tenses.
There was a house nearby, it looked kind of familiar. Then I realized that it was Buddy's house. What was I doing there? He doesn't a cliff in his backyard! Does he?
Doesn't everyone
"Paige?" Buddy asks curiously, peeking out from behind his house. "What are you doing out here, are you okay?" he walks towards me, smiling sheepishly.
Okay I remember this part and be prepared to put on your cringe pants and cringe at my low understanding of absolutely everything
"Ergh, no I'm not okay. What happened to my simulation? I'm supposed to be there right now." I frown, putting my hands on my hips and standing up. Buddy grins.
WHY did HE grin YOU weirdo
"Well, don't question it." Buddy cocks his head innocently, he starts to slowly walk towards me as I speak.
Umm can you please not
"Why not?" I ask. "This is kinda weird."
"No more talking." Buddy cuts me off.
I know this is a serious moment and this is a serious topic but I would laugh my ass off if someone said that to me.
"What? Why?" I take a step back, what is wrong with him?
His name is Buddy, what isn't wrong with him?
"I love you, Paige." he whispers in my ear. What? Were just friends, he would never say something like that. He grabs my hand and pulls me towards him. I can't seem to move, this all feels so wrong. I pull away from Buddy, he pulls me back again, this time his fingers dig into my skin. I scream for help from someone, but no one else is there. My awe turns to anger. I twist Buddy's arm around and he stumbles backward.
I did not enjoy reading that last paragraph. There's not really a joke there, I just did not like it.
An intense pain washes over me. I close my eyes, and when I open them, the pain is gone. I am sitting bolt upright in a small room, with my parents and older sister watching me with curious eyes.
Why does she just keep finding herself in these random ass settings with absolutely no context?!
"What happened?" I ask them curiously, the last thing I remember before the test was stepping into the blank white room. I rub my forehead at the memory of the pain that struck me during the simulation. Apparently, it's normal though, Ophelia told me about it after her test was over.
What? Why have we not been told this before?
"You blacked out, but don't be anxious, it happens to everyone." my dad replies calmly.
I know the trope is that wattpad parents are all killed off, but like, her parents are basically dead: they have absolutely zero personality.
My mom and Ophelia nod.
Does her mom not have a name? I mean, I know what it is in my head, but, is it ever stated?
The woman who led me into the simulation room, stands before me, taking notes. A young girl with forest green eyes and ruby red hair steps out from behind her and cautiously walks over to me. Her hair looks kind of fake, like she dyed it.
You know, the absolute worst sin, that you are punished for in the tenth circle of hell; dying your hair you fucking fakers. ALSO this was the phase I went through where I thought the extent of describing someone in a book was just observing their hair and eye color.
She smiled half-heartedly and handed me a small envelope, with my name on the front, in a very elegant cursive.
Okay if they have to test every thirteen-year-old in the whole country (It's Canada 300 years in the future, btw, IDK if that's ever mentioned) then this level of personal bullshit (especially if there's only one "picker") would take fucking forever.
"You may leave." she says kindly and nods to my family. They all crowd around me, attacking me with questions. Fingering the small envelope, I push past them.
"What does the letter FUCKING SAY!" My mom screamed, punching me in the face.
"I'll read the envelope when we get home." I exclaim holding up my hands, even though I wanted to tear it open right that second. I can feel the excitement and anxiety building up inside of me, and I try to ignore it and be patient.
What are we excited for again? Remind me?
"Come on! Paige! Open it already!" Ophelia screams in my ear as we step into our dad's car, I spit my tongue out at her just like Marcus does to me, and plug my ears to avoid further damage to my eardrums.
STOP. TALKING. ABOUT. MARCUS!
"I'm going to open it during dinner." I reply, I shouldn't have said that. I really wanted to know my familiar now. It feels like someone is mentally stabbing me, trying to make me open up the envelope. My parents, seemingly almost as anxious as me to learn the newest addition of the family, race into the kitchen and microwave some popcorn. They set out four bowls full of it, and then sit down.
I was going to make a comment about the microwave popcorn but Paige about sums it up in her next line.
"Really mom. Popcorn for dinner. What a celebration." I roll my eyes dramatically as I sit down. Ophelia rests her elbows on the table and my whole family stare at me, anticipating the worst. "Fine." I say happily, and pull out the small envelope that contained my future. Slowly and carefully, I take off the red wax and open the flap. Taking out the small, yellow piece of paper, I unfold it.
"Dear Paige Vassette, I, the Picker, observed your test and hereby proclaim that you are a little bitch."
Just kidding!
Dear Paige Vassette, I, the Picker, observed your test, and hereby proclaim that your protector animal will be a female grey wolf, who goes by the name of Nadime. Just as a reminder; familiars will arrive tomorrow, at nine o'clock sharp.
- The Picker
Woah a wolf I was not expecting that at all I couldn't have thought of a more original animal to signify that the main character is, in fact, the main character even if she has approximately zero personality traits.
Also, that's apparently the end of Chapter Three, so get the fuck out of here.