I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT, i'm finally graduating! and before graduating i'm thinking of something. it's confessing my feelings to jacob. i know it's just been probably 2 months, but i just wanna see if he likes me or not. but probably not tho.
we chatted again, chatting with him had become a part of my daily routine. we always talk everyday to ask each other if have we eaten already or what are we going to do for the rest of the day. just stuff like that.
but today's different, because today i'm going to confess. after finishing my classes, i ask for advice with my friends and they said to just go for it and if he's not interested then just move on.
my friends and i went to mall to prepare for stuff to buy for our camping, before graduating we would like to have a mini camping on my backyard just to celebrate ourselves on surviving this senior high life.
this senior high, we've learned many things. treasuring each moment while it lasts, even though some discussions on some subjects has been boring still because of that we've learned of many things. get it?
after buying, it's night already. we've said goodbyes to each other and i quickly take a shower and rest my body on my bed waiting for him. minutes passed and he chatted.
"hey ;)" and after that i replied and hours passed until i found the opportunity to confess.
"hey i like someone." i chatted
"oh who? lemme see."
"the guy who finally find me again."
"oh." he chatted and i don't know what to reply because was it awkward? and then he chatted again "eve, i'm not interested on that things. i'm a listener not just interested on that."
i don't know what to do. do i still need to reply? i should've trusted my gut, that confirming his friend request is a bad idea.
i went to sleep instead of replying, and morning came. i lied to him. "oh sorry for the late reply! i didn't know that my message has not been sent. don't worry i'm also not interested on that, you know me. i'm an achiever. i have many goals i would like to achieve. i just let you know that."
months passed by again, and we still chat to each other. you're probably just playing with me. with my feelings.
but why can't i block you again? because i'm afraid. i'm afraid that my life will be boring again without you in it.
liking you was such a bad idea. i hate you, jacob. i really do.