venus carerra
15/10/18
11:45pm
san francisco, usa
"That's just a dream though." I conclude, brushing my hand against a lamppost that lights up the street. He turns to me, an indescribable expression written on his face.
"I'll make it happen." He blurts, not an ounce of uncertainty in his voice. It's strange, how I could talk to him for hours and hours and get to know him, and suddenly he's shedded of the celebrity persona I'd seen him as before tonight. Because in that moment, I completely forgot who it was that I was confessing my dreams to.
I stare at him for a few moments, catching my breath. Because the craziest thing about the words he just uttered is that if he wanted to make them true, he could.
"What?" I gasp, the simple word the only one I'm capable of.
"I'll make it all happen for you, Venus." He repeats, "Or at least, I'll give it my best shot."
"How?" I blink, unable to think straight.
"Leave it to me." He smirks, "But your talent... that kind of thing needs to be shared. And not just to crowds of a hundred like tonight, or however many people you perform to at your godmother's bookstore. I'm talking what I have. More, even."
"Is this a really elaborate prank?" I squint at him, legs weak at the sound of all his compliments. "Like, are you fucking with me?"
"There's zero fucking going on here," He affirms, chuckling childishly at the innuendo. "Unless you want me to be fucking y-" He pauses momentarily, eyes going wide, "fucking with you?"
I shake my head, giggling along. "How drunk are you?"
"Too drunk to be having a serious conversation with you. But sober enough to mean what I said." He smiles, and I swear he moves a little closer, "And, I'm sober enough to walk you home?"
"I mean, if you want to?" I turn to him, "I could walk back on my own, if not."
"I want to. Got to keep you safe from all the murderers that are lurking around, you know how it is."
"I'm sure I'd be fine. I've lived here all my life, and never once have I been murdered."
"Maybe you're just lucky." He states, his shoulder bumping into mine as we walk, nearing the golden gate bridge.
I smile softly, allowing myself to properly look at him for the first time. He's attractive, obviously, but not just in the way fans like Marisa see him. Up close he's visually flawless, perfect features and perfect skin and the most incredible eyes and lips I've ever laid eyes on, and it's when my eyes flick from those two features for the billionth time that I notice I'm staring.
And it's when he says, "What you looking at, eh?" that I realise he noticed too.
"I don't know," I find myself giggling, stupefied by the man next to me. I'm past attraction now, in a stage I can't quite explain. "Just you."
"What about me?" He presses, the tips of his fingers brushing against mine as we walk down the street. I don't reply with words, only closing the distance between our fingers, wrapping my hand in his. He takes it further, squeezing his palm against mine and pulling me closer.
We're arm in arm by the time we're halfway across the bridge, my heart completely thumping out of my chest at the sheer concept that this is reality. I'm actually here, right now, with him, tonight. And who knows, maybe I'd still be with him after tonight.
"What are you humming?" He asks after a long silence, only them making me realise I was doing so in the first place. "It sounds good, whatever it is."
"That was," I pause for a few moments, humming the same tune again, this time consciously, "Oh, that was just one of my own songs."
"Just one of your own songs?" He repeats, "You really need to believe in yourself a little more, Venus."
"Eh, maybe." I shrug. "I don't know, I just figured if it was meant to be, the whole fame thing, it would've been by now, y'know?"
"Like I was saying, I'll make it happen for you." He restates his words from earlier, still sounding so crazy. "You just gotta let me."
"What's in it for you, though?" I ask, "What do you get out of helping me achieve my dreams or whatever?"
"I get everything." He sighs, smiling at me. "So this song, the one you were just humming..."
"What about it?"
"Sing it for me?" He smirks.
"Like, now?" I chuckle, not thinking he's serious. His expression doesn't change. "Like right here, in the middle of the golden gate bridge in the middle of the night, you want me to start singing?"
"Uh, yeah." He laughs, stopping in his tracks and perching himself on the edge of the bridge precariously, "I need to here that voice of yours again."
"Don't judge me." I smile, taking a step backwards.
"Why the hell would I judge you?" He chuckles, "I've already heard you sing tonight, why is this any different?"
"Because it's just the two of us." I reply, feeling myself blush, "And I can't imagine the acoustics on this bridge are any good either."
"You'll find a way to make it work." He assures me, gesturing for me to begin, "There's your stage, honey."
I begin to sing, but I'm unable to look at him as I do so. This kind of intimacy was something I'd never really experienced before, just me and this practical stranger on one of the world's most famous bridges in the middle of the night, singing one of the most personal songs i've ever written before. About someone else.
I sing the parts of the song I'm completely confident on, still internally afraid of his judgement. He sits and watches me, his lips parted and eyes wide the entire time. And when I've finished, he doesn't speak. He sits in silence, eyes flickering as if he's processing something. I leave him to do so, taking a seat next to him. Everything seems to fall quiet; I can hear his unsteady breathing over the murmuring traffic and distant wind.
Minutes pass before he speaks, his voice mellow and awestruck. It takes a while for me to process that I'm the reason. "Wow. You wrote that?" He says, turning to me with a curious look across his features.
I nod, "Yeah, I did."
"What's it called?" He asks.
"Don't let me down." I answer, eyes fixated on the horizon before us.
[author's side note: the song is don't let me down my my queen sabrina claudio (ie. venus' faceclaim) and khalid. it's a great song and you should definitely listen, but it's also important for future reference hehe]
"Who's it about?"
"What's with the 3rd degree?" I protest, expression softening, "It's about a friend of mine. Well, he's not really a friend. He is, but there's something else there. I can't explain it. It's been going on for a really long time now, so I wrote that — and a few others — to try get my feelings out."
"Does he know it's about him?" Shawn asks, demeanour slightly off, "This boy, I mean. Your friend."
"He hasn't heard it. It's one of my newer ones. In fact, you're the first person to hear it." I admit.
"Really?" He blinks, "I feel special."
"You should. It's not often I show songs like that to strangers." I chuckle.
He laughs too, suddenly becoming silent. He opens his mouth to speak before closing it again, second guessing himself.
"What?"
"Do you— Do you think that song could maybe work as a duet?" He speaks finally, feet back on the ground again.
"Maybe, with a few adjustments to the arrangements I could probably make that work." I reply, not thinking straight, "Why?"
"Because, Venus, I think I found your way in."
"Into what?" I squint at him in confusion, not getting what he means.
"I really have to spell everything out to you, eh?" He chuckles, "You, and me, and that song."
I gasp, the penny finally dropping in my mind, "As in a collaboration?"
"Something like that. All I know is that I need to make this happen for you. For us." He affirms, continuing to walk me across the bridge. "I'll work on an arrangement, send you some clips or something. I'll talk to my manager, get his opinion."
"You don't have to do this." I tell him, even though I want him to, more than anything. But only if he wants to too, because he thinks I deserve it. Not for any other reason.
"You're right." He smiles, "I'm still doing it though. Because you, this voice you have, this aura you have, need to be shared."
"I better not let all this praise you give me go to my head, or I won't fit through the door when I get back home."
"How far now?" He asks, "How far home, I mean?"
"Well, we're about halfway across the bridge... so about half an hour?" I answer, checking the time on my phone, "Jesus, it's one am."
"Damn. I don't feel drunk anymore, either." He states, "Just happy. Full."
"Full? You've not eaten."
"Not full in that way, silly. Just, I don't know, fulfilled. Is that the right word?"
"I don't really know what you're trying to say." I chuckle, "You sure you're not still drunk?"
"Ha, ha." He grins cheekily, "Forget it. I don't know what I'm trying to say."
"Well, neither do I." I reply, "So how about we carry on with these questions?"
"Sure. You go first."
"Okay, where did you grow up?"
"Pickering, Ontario. Kinda near Toronto. Small town. Perfect place to grow up."
"Sounds it." I smile, "Although I've never been to Canada. Never really left California, besides to go to Disneyworld once for my sister's birthday."
"What are you sister's names?" He asks. "Are they space-themed too? Don't tell me there's one called Uranus?"
"No, I'm the only space-themed one in the family, lucky for them. I'm the oldest, then there's Acacia who's just turned 17, and Luna who's 14. Then there's the youngest, Rue. She's 8, 9 in a couple of months."
"Wow. Those names are beautiful. What about your parents, what are they called?"
"My mom is called Rosa, my dad Mateo. So not quite as creative as ours, but nice all the same."
"They must be proud of you, huh?" He speculates, "Of how incredibly talented you are?"
"My mom is. She really is. She's so supportive. She would've been here tonight, but Rue had a fever. My dad, not so much. He always wanted me to be like him, in some high flying career. A doctor, a business woman, a lawyer. Not a singer."
"But you're so talented. Surely he sees that?" He speculates.
"I don't know. He just doesn't think it's a steady career path. And he's all about the steady." I reply, "Which I suppose meant that I haven't properly chased this dream. Until now, I guess."
"Well, I'm glad you're deciding to chase them now." He smiles, "With me."
"What about you? How did it all happen for you?" I ask, and just like that he launches into a story that I can tell is his favourite, not omitting any details. I smile and listen along, marvelling at the life he has. The life I've wanted for so long. The conversation continues on after that, exchanging stories from our lives that take us all the way to my doorstep.
"Your house is beautiful." He says, looking up at the detailed, modern exterior, "Did your dad design it?"
"Yeah, it's like his fifth child. It was sort of a life-long project of his. We've lived here for as long as I can remember."
"It's incredible. And that view, wow..." He muses, pointing to the view of San Francisco that lays out before us, "It's so perfect."
"It is. That's my bedroom, up there." I tell him, pointing to the window overlooking the ocean.
"How are you planning on sneaking in?" He asks, leaning against the wall.
"I'm nineteen. I'm sure I'm be fine." I chuckle, "I'll just have to try not to wake my sisters."
"Good luck with that." He smirks, his hand touching mine.
"Thanks for tonight." I grin, twisting my key in the lock, "It was really nice."
"It was. Really nice. What I needed." He agrees, his eyes staring into mine. My cheeks begin to blush, his gaze not tearing away from me. And for a moment, it felt like maybe he'd kiss me. I hoped he would. But the moment passed and he cleared his throat, taking a step backwards. "Well, goodbye, then."
"Yeah," I smile, slipping behind the door, "Goodbye."
"Wait!" He whispers just before I can close the door behind me. I crane my neck around it, confused.
"Are you free tomorrow night?" He asks, biting his lip nervously.
"I have work." I reply, "Why?"
"I, uh, I have a show tomorrow night. I was wondering if maybe you wanna come, you and your friends? VIP tickets on the house."
"Like I said, I have work. I wish I could come, but I've never missed a shift at the store before. I'm sorry." I tell him, mentally kicking myself. Why couldn't I just say yes?
"Think about it, won't you?" He smiles, "I wanna return the favour of a performance."
"I'll think about it." I smile.
"If you change your mind, call me." He smirks, handing me his phone to get his number off. I type his digits into my phone, snapping a quick photo of him for his contact.
"I guess you'll see, won't you?" I return the smirk, disappearing round the doorframe. Once I'm on the other side of the wall I rest my back against the doorframe, my mind reeling from the night's events.
I didn't think nights like that could exist, until now.
a/n;
she's back bitches!!!! wow i missed this book a lot, i just didn't have any inspiration until this weekend but i'm really glad it's back, expect regular updates from now on hopefully <33