Nearly frozen water is thrown on me, the freezing mixture mixed with salt, burning the open wounds. A gasping groan slips from my lips pitifully; the sound is more familiar with a weak wheeze. "Maybe she's finally learned... Princesses aren't heard... but seen." A fist grabs my matted hair, pulling my head back painfully. I wince as a fire crawls across my scalp, from more than just the hand. The gag in my mouth has locked my jaw open uncomfortably. I feel like a dog.
My dislocated shoulder screams in agony as I'm moved, pushed back into my arms that have been extended behind me, chained to the wall. I guess they got tired of me kicking them. I've been forced to kneel for sometime. However much time has passed... The days and nights have blended, I'm no longer able to tell them apart. It's all the same. A blade is waved in front of my eyes, as if teasing me, the shining metal glinting in the luminescent lighting, taunts me.
The large metal hunting skinning knife, the hook on the end looking daunting as it glints. As if this can't get any worse. "How many signatures have you left?" Magcon taunts me, Thrasher's hand tightens painfully in my hair making me close my eyes, fighting the groan that wants to leave my lips. Don't let them win! I don't want them to win, I hate letting them win, letting them know just how truly weak I am. Stop letting them walk over you all the time, stop being weak.
The knife teases the gag, brushing against it forcing my eyes open to watch the glinting object as it nears my chin. Don't flinch, just don't move. Flinching gives them what they want, I can't do that anymore, giving into their game, might as well be putting a bullet between my eyes. They won't let me get away again. "What do you boys think? Some more signatures?" Magcon sneers at me. Thrasher chuckles as he moved to crouch in front of me, the black vest, marred with age and grime.
And to think they're supposed to keep their cuts in pristine condition. The thought makes me want to laugh, to spit in their faces more like it. Ages ago those leather cuts used to look semi pristine, somewhat kept anyway. Now the soft shine is gone, long gone, worn down by blood and dirt, the lack of care driving them in a state of decay. The rigid blade cuts into my thigh making me wince as I'm shocked back to reality, to face the harsh amused glare. "Wake up Princess." He belittled, making my eyes narrow.
His foul breath drifts over my face at his nearness, making me jerk my head, to snap it forward, connecting with his nose, the crunch that greets me is pleasurable. Maybe I'm growing as monstrous as them, or maybe, I just have a nerve to fight. Magcon releases a sharp, jarr worthy howl of pain, his hand releases the blade, leaving it buried in my thigh as he clutches his nose. Bright red blood trickles from between his scrawny fingers, the gaps allow clear and easy passage for the slick liquid. "You bitch!" Don't back down.
The simple mantra is broken by a pain that fired across my cheek, the sharp blaze of fire wasn't nearly as surprising as it had been when I first got here. I'm getting used to the pain again... Is that good or bad? I don't know anymore, the simple fact is, I'm accepting the pain, to use it as a lifeline; as an only hope to stay alive. To know I'm alive anymore. "You never learn do you? All this time training and you still think that we'll let you win? That we'll let you go? No, you're our bitch, our whore that's going to stay here, to breath your last breath. You belong to us. We own you."
I refuse to believe them. To accept that this is where I'll die. I can't lose hope now. My head is grasped with two fists, holding my head still as a knee is driven into my nose, retribution. I'm unable to hold in the scream, the agonized cry muffled by the gag. The pain stricken sound drowned by cruel laughter, the laughter of maniacs as they find pleasure in the blood covering the drool covered gag, the metallic liquid mixing disgustingly. The fowl taste makes me gag, only worsening my predicament.
Pain rattles my form, nose throbbing painfully, the pulsing pain that enshrouds my skull making my vision blur, the sounds around me drowning out as if I'm wearing ear muffs. Don't let them win anymore. I close my eyes, the pain entering my system starts to dull with my surroundings. A radio crackles, a brief sound comes across, making them pause as it's abruptly cut off. "What the fuck is that idiot up to now?" Magcon grunts as he picks up the radio. "Snoopy, what the fuck's going on?" He grunts, clicking off the radio.
My head hands the floating feeling only growing in strength as I stare at the blood gliding down my leg. I'm slowly fascinated by the deep red liquid, the stark contrast to the sickly pallor of my complexion now. My vision dances as the radio crackles to life once more, the static comes over is broken up by grunts and sounds of a struggle. What on earth is going on? "Snoopy? Fucking hell you idiot." Thrasher growls and looks towards Magcon. "Do we have a shipment coming in today?" Magcon releases a grunt letting my head hang as they step away.
"No, not that I'm aware of, he's probably getting his rocks off." Thrasher grunts and shakes his head.
"Fucking prick, he knows he ain't allowed for play on shift-" His voice is drowned out as I stare at my marred legs, the cuts taunt me the door is slammed, open or closed I'm not sure. It doesn't matter, it hurts any way.
My eyes close, I don't care to attempt to alleviate the pain anymore, leaning forward I hang from my arms. Would it be too easy to grab the blade and cut the artery? It'd be over in seconds. I close my eyes at the thought, the pain of the wound it opens up. Really? You're that weak now? That weak to just let them win? I want to cry, sob at the pain the simple thought causes. 'Is this how you want to go?'
The deep voice of Evan reverberates in my head, making shame fills my form as I release a soft whimper and shake my head as if he's here, as if they are here watching this atrocity go down. 'Is this how you want to be remembered?' As if the shame wasn't burning deep enough the familiar sound of Jamie's voice sounds off in my head. The only sense of strength I have is from them... My role models.
My mind blurs reality and memories, their forms appear as I had last seen them, strong stout figures, dressed in their fatigues, the lasting image in my head making me weep. Evan stands tall like father, his dark brown hair paired with mom's blue eyes stare at me soulfully. Jamie stands nearly the same, his hair, slightly longer, curled ever so slightly, a scar marring his identical features on his right cheek. Seeing them standing so strong in my mind makes me cry for everything.
The gag prevents me from talking freely, even as I try, the words muffled and distorted. But how? How do I change it? How do I escape? This is the end... it ends here.
'So you're not going to fight? You're just going to let them win? Let them kill you, use you?' The accusatory tone hurts worse than anything. I narrow my eyes and shake my head pitifully.
No, I can't fight, I can't win, I'm not strong like you two! Pain fills my form and mind at the realization. I'm weak, I've always been weak, I can't fix it. You can't fix something so deeply shattered and broken. I'll never be like them... I can't
'You don't have to be strong like us, you have to be strong as yourself. You're stronger than you know, accept that you're a survivor, not for yourself but for the people around you.' Jamie soothes as he looks at me, his figure relaxed, accepting.
I'm not strong... Evan releases a deep chuckle as if amused by my words.
'You're stronger than all of us... Annie, let yourself look through someone else's eyes, don't hate for the pain you've been given, accept it, grow from it, make a difference that matters in life, stop fighting yourself when you could fight the evil you're trapped by for now.' The building shakes painfully, loud explosions rattle the floor above me, shaking it violently. Before I can realize Evan and Jamie are gone, their forms disappearing into a mist in my head, stolen from me by the pain. I cry at their loss, their presence numbing the pain and the hurt for moments, minutes, I couldn't say.
I don't want to be alone anymore, come back please? I plead to the abyss that's my head, knowing I sound crazy I cry, wanting the comfort their forms brought. I want to be home with my family... with people I love... I want Axel. The loud sounds of gunfire and screams don't soothe me, it's prolonged wincing as the door is ripped open, the gunfire only growing in volume. "Fucking get down!" A deep voice screams out violently, who's side, I don't know. What even is happening?
"Dammit, Thrasher's been hit." The door is slammed, I don't move, holding my breath as if that's going to stop me from being noticed. Like that has ever mattered. Coughing breaks up the atmosphere, the door is battered against, the thick metal withholding whatever force is trying to oppose it.
"Dammit, how the fuck did that asshole find us?" Johnny snarls as he moves to Thrasher, adding pressure to the fatal wound. You're not doing it right.
"Fucked if I know." Magcon growls, to Johnny pointing his gun towards the door, firing. My eyes slam shut as the echoing round nearly bursts out eardrums. My head rings painfully loud, matter of moments pass before the door is kicked open, a small canister is launched down the steps. Time slows down as the two living men pause, their bodies locking down at the sight of the grenade. The stun grenade goes off, knocking whatever sense I had left out the window. White blinding lights take over my vision as my ears rush, as if I'm underwater now, the sounds torn away from me painfully quick.
The deafening sounds continue for what feels like minutes, realistically, couldn't have been more than mere moments, seconds at most. The ringing in my ears continues as I force my eyes open, staring at the ground, swaying as much as my position will allow. I barely hear voice shout between one another, or maybe they were talking heatedly, I couldn't say exactly. Not that it matters, I'm dead anyway. Jean clad legs appear in front of me, theri sturdy structure almost absurdly familiar.
Their fingers work the gag from my lips, tossing it to the side. The hands on my body, don't feel real, don't feel strong. "Baby G!... Focus on... come on." I faintly connect with Axel's voice, the familiar tone sending warmth through my body. I want to weep as he supports me, pushing me back, the restraints are unlocked, my arms dropped slowly, carefully. A second voice breaks through the ringing, speaking with Axel, it all feels so strange, like an out of body experience. Is this what it's like to die?
"Baby G!" Axel's features appear in my line of sigh, his dark green eyes the last thing I see as my eyes drift shut, all of it too much to bear anymore.