(A/N: From now on, I won't be using quotations anymore. It takes up way to much time for me to complete the chapter and tends to cause spelling mistakes. Also, after I finish covering up the second season of Konosuba, I MIGHT keyword "might" make an RWBY fanfic. I haven't watched it so I'll have to binge all the 6 volumes. I'm pretty sure there are 6 volumes. This episode will cover most or all of episode 5, so grab your headphones, but some depressing shit and re-think your life of being a weeb and get hella depressed cus this chapter isn't sad, but a reminder that we all are shut-ins like Kazuma)
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-Y/N FOV-
Kazuma: This money is all for nothing. Feeling satisfied with just a few coins, taking care of a useless goddess. This is not the parallel world life I wished for! Fighting ferocious dragons with a cursed or holy sword, being known as a chosen hero, love blossoming with a party member... Isn't that how it's supposed to be?
Y/N was still outside working on controlling his flames. When he was about to give up, something happened.
Y/N: Damnit! I don't get it... Poof, Poof, Poof! Poofity Poof!
I jump off the roof not noticing that I managed to ignite the two sides and leave the middle one untouched
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Timeskip!
Location: Adventurer's Guild
Aqua slams table presenting a frustrated tone
Aqua: I've had all I can take of living in debt! A quest! Thanks to Dullahan, there are only tough ones left, but let's accept one! I need money!
Darkness: I-I don't mind...
Aqua grabs onto Kazuma, holding and shaking him for dear life
Aqua: Please! I'm sick of working part-time in the shopping district! The manager yells at me if any croquettes aren't sold! I'll work hard! I'll give it everything I've got this time!
Kazuma: My God... She is pitful self-proclaimed goddess!
I'm sure I'll run out of money eventually, too, so go and a decent-looking quest for us
Aqua: Got it!
Aqua walks to the clipboard, choosing a quest
Y/N: To be honest, knowing Aqua, she might give us a super hard quest, I'll check up on her
Aqua was looking at the clipboard. After finding a quest, she grabbed the paper, but Y/N made it just in time. Y/N looks at the quest
Y/N: Hold on! What are you trying to accept?
Aqua rushes at me, but I stop her only using my hand
Y/N: There's a place where a manticore and a griffin are fighting over territory. Please kill them both. The reward is 500,00 eris... Are you an idiot Aqua?
I was right to come and check up on her! I also let her accept a ridiculously high-level quest!
Aqua: Hey, check this one out! The quality of the town lake's water has declined, and Brutal Alligators have started to live in it, so I would like to have the water purified. The monsters will move to a different habitat if the lake is purified, so there's no need to kill them. The reward is 300,000 eris. This quest is perfect for me!
Y/N: ok.
Aqua: How 'bout it?
The rest of the 4 walks towards Y/N and Aqua's conversation
Kazuma: Are you capable of purifying water?
Aqua: You fool, who do you think I am? Surely you can tell what I'm a goddess of from my name and appearance.
Kazuma: Goddes of party tricks huh?
Aqua: No, you shut-in Neet!
Y/N: A Goddess complex huh?
Aqua: Water! DO you not see the beautiful water-colored eyes and hair?!
Kazuma: Whatever. Go ahead and accept it, then. If you accept it alone, you can keep the whole reward for yourself.
Aqua: W-Well... Monsters are likely to attack while I'm purifying the lake... So I'd like you to protect me...
Kazuma: So that's what it is?
Y/N: Don't worry Aqua, I'll be right beside you. If anything is bothering you, tell us!
Aqua blushes at what Y/N said.
Aqua: T-Thanks...
Kazuma: Anyways, how long will it take? About five minutes?
Aqua: About half a day or so?
Kazuma: That's long!
Aqua grabs on to Kazuma, begging him to accept the quest
Aqua: Please! I'm begging you! Help me out, Kazuma-san!
Y/N: Kazuma doesn't deserve this...
Kazuma: How will you go about purifying it, anyway?
Aqua: Huh? Well, for a goddess of my class, simply touching the lake should purify it.
Kazuma: I see. Hey Aqua, I think I know a way you can purify the lake safely.
Aqua: How?
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Luna: Konosuba!
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Timeskip!
The 6 of us make our way to the lake with Aqua being inside a cage.
Aqua: Hey are we doing this?
Kazuma: My strategy is rock-solid. What're you unsatisfied with?
Aqua: I feel like some rare, captured monster that's on its way to be sold.
The 5 of us causally wait for Aqua to finish her purification. Megumin and Y/N were playing rock, paper, scissors. Whoever lost, had to say their most embarrassing moment.
Kazuma: By no means did we come here to abandon this worthless goddess in the lake. She'll be able to touch and purify the water from inside the safety of the cage.
Aqua! Tell us if anything happens! We'll reel you in, cage and all!
Aqua: Yeah! I feel like a teabag of black tea being made into soup stock.
Megumin: The score is 3-3 if I win this one, that means you'll have to tell me your most embarrassing moment!
Y/N: Heh, the same applies to you!
Y/N and Megumin: Rock! Paper! Scissors! Shoot!
Megumin chose paper, and Y/N chose rock!
Y/N: DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I scream out loud. Unleashing a little bit of my blue flame.
Megumin: Heh
Chris: You got to tell us your most embarrassing moment Y/N~
Darkness: Y/N (pant, pant, pant) embarrassing moment? I want to know what bad things you've done!
Y/N: D-Darkness, It's not like that...
Kazuma: Huh... What's your embarrassing moment Y/N?
Megumin moves her face closer to my face, making me blush a little.
Megumin: What is it Y/N?
Y/N: Ok, ok, hold on. So I was at 8 at the time this happened. It was during church, while I was praying, I sneezed and farted at the same time. It was during the silent prayer part and EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE at the damn church all laughed. At the age I am now, I-I can't get over it... It still haunts me at night when I sleep...
Kazuma: ...
Chris: HAHAHAHA!
Y/N: H-Hey!
Kazuma: T-That's too much man!
Megumin was trying so hard to not laugh, but it got the best of her.
Megumin: Y/N! HAHAHA!
Darkness: Oh my Y/N... that is pretty funny!
The 4 of them continue to laugh at Y/N, making him get angry even more...
Y/N: Oi... Continue laughing at watch what happens...
Chris, Darkness, Megumin, and Kazuma: S-Sorry...
Y/N's flame disappears, regaining his composer
Y/N: Thank you...
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2 Hours In!
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Aqua: 312 iron bars, 313 iron bars...
Megumin: No monsters are showing up...
Y/N: Let's hope it stays that way, I'm getting tired... I don't think I'll have the same energy if anything happens...
Kazuma: Don't say that! You might jinx it!
Y/N: Kazuma, you have the highest luck out of all of us. Anything could happen because of your stat!
Aqua: K-Kazuma? Something's coming! Hey, a lot of somethings are coming! Kazuma! Kazuma-san!
Y/N runs to the lake, trying to distract them and focus them on him.
Y/N: Oi! You somethings! Look at me!
I focus the huge alligators to look at me.
Y/N: If I can't fight them underwater, I'll have to chop their heads! One by one!
Pulling out my sword, I unleash my blue flames. Jumping at the huge alligators!
She starts to purify the water quicker, screaming at the top her lungs
Aqua: Purification! Purification! Purification! Purification!! Y/N, are you done!
Y/N: Almost! Satan... BOMB CAMPFIRE!
(A/N: From the Blue Exorcist manga! Recommend to read it! Since season 3 is still not confirmed... CAN WE LIKE FORGET SAO SEASON 4 AND HAVE BLUE EXORCIST SEASON 3 DAMNIT A-1 PICTURES)
Y/N fiercely stabs an alligator, which gets caught in Y/N's hot blue flames. The blue flames set ablaze and cause a series of huge explosions. The flames begin to travel across the nearby by alligators, making their body akin to "Satan Campfire"(When Y/N stabs a target with Kurikaka, he channels his flames directly from the blade outward, getting consumed by the flames). Aqua saw what happened and was in awed, just like the rest of the group
Aqua: Y/N's flames don't feel hot like they did before... they're so warm now... she blushes as she whispers this to herself
Kazuma: Y/N! That was awesome!
Megumin: That explosion power was really cool!
Aqua: Thank you Y/N! Purification! Purification!
Chris: What was his power again?
Kazuma: When Y/N pulls out his sword, hot blue flames surround him due to his sword containing his flames.
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Timeskip!
7 Hours in
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Megumin checks the water to see if it has been purified
Megumin: It looks like the purification is complete.
Kazuma checks in the cage, asking if Aqua was all right
Kazuma: Aqua, are you okay?
Y/N: Guys... I don't think she's okay. Let's head home.
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Purify Riverhead Lake...
Results: Lake Purification Successful!
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Location: ???
A dark foggy cloud appears as fire is being thrown by a huge dragon. A knight stands in its way.
???: That's the legendary Ancient Dragon.
???: Can we beat that thing? Maybe we should run away...
A brave knight was standing behind two young teenage girls. His name, Mitsurugi Kyouya.
Kyouya: My name is Mitsurugi Kyouya. I was the sort of ordinary high schooler you could find anywhere, but in the abyss of death, I met a lovely goddess and was reincarnated into this world as a chosen hero.
If we let this dragon run rampant, many people could be injured, or lose their lives. We are the only ones who can defeat it!
Both girls blushed at his words: Kyouya!
???: The sacred treasure said to be created by the gods, which only Kyouya can wield... The cursed Sword, Gram!
Kyouya's sword had a bright blue color as he begins to attack the dragon, yelling at all his might
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???: That's my Kyouya! Only he can defeat the Ancient Dragon in a single blow!
???: Wh-When did he become yours?!
Kyouya: Hey, now, stop that.
The two girls were running and fighting for Kyouya. Kyouya, on the other hand, looked at the sunset, he had a determined look on his face.
Kyouya: I'll save this world, without fail. I made a promise to her...
ePiC aNiMe fLaShbAcK
Aqua: Now, depart on your journey with the Cursed Sword, Gram, chosen hero.
Kyouya: Lady Goddess, I will slay the Devil King and save the world for you.
Aqua: Yes, I expect great things from you.
ePiC aNiMe fLaShbAcK eNd
Continuing to walk, Kyouya heard a voice that he hasn't heard in a while and will never forget
Aqua sings a nice melody: A used-up goddess is being transported along...
Kyouya: This voice... I've heard it before!
He runs to where whatever the voice is coming from. Cutting off an alleyway, to alleyway.
???: Kyouya? Where are you going?!
Aqua: I'm sure they're taking me away to be sold...
Kyouya: L-Lady Goddess!
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Y/N: Konosuba- WAIT HOLD ON I MISSED UP AGAIN! SHIT IM SO BAD AT THIS!
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Kazuma: Aqua, we're in the city now, so stop singing that song.
Y/N and the party were walking back to the Adventurer's Guild to claim the quest they had just done.
Y/N: Aqua, people are looking at us... Please stop.
Kazuma: In fact, just get out of there!
Aqua: No.
Y/N: A blunt answer!
Aqua: Inside this cage is my sanctuary. The outside world is scary, so I won't come out for a while.
Kyouya: Lady Goddess! It's you isn't Lady Goddess?
Y/N: What the hell... I'm tired, I wanna sleep...
Kyouya grabs the irons bars, trying to pull Aqua out of the cage
Kyouya: What are you doing in such a place, Lady Goddess?!
Darkness taps him on the shoulder
Darkness: Hey. Don't touch my ally so freely. Who are you?
Y/N moves up to Aqua a little more whispering: You know him Aqua? He just called you a Goddess...
Aqua: Goddess?
Y/N: Yes...
Aqua looks at Y/N, with a dead look making him a little nervous
Aqua: That's right! I'm a goddess!
Y/N: Did she really forget that she's a goddess in that span of time she was in that cage?
Aqua slowly gets out of the cage. As she got out, she did something bold that would crush Kyouya's dreams.
Aqua: Y/N! I need to thank you for saving me!
She walks up to Y/N, kissing him on the cheek. Y/N blushes at the occasion.
Megumin and Chris: You're starting a war Aqua... you don't know what territory you're in right now...
Kazuma: Yep! 10 million percent expected that...
Y/N: U-Uhh...
After that, Aqua walks up to Kyouya
Aqua: So, what business do you have with a goddess such as myself? Who are you?
Kazuma: Ouch... he whispers
Kyouya: It's me Mitsurugi Kyouya! The Mitsurugi Kyouya who received this Cursed Sword, Gram, from you and was reincarnated in this world!
In his mind, he felt hurt. The person he admired and liked so much just kissed a man he didn't even know. Not only that, she doesn't even know who he is!
Aqua: Huh?
Kyouya: Huh?
Kazuma: Huh?
Aqua: Oh, of course! That guy! Sorry, I totally forgot! I've sent along with many people, so it's inevitable that I'd forget some!
Y/N: Feels bad man, Aqua has the brain as small as a mouse...
Kyouya: Y-Yeah... It has been a while, Aqua-sama. I have been working hard every day as your chosen hero. By the way, why have you been locked up in a cage?
Y/N: Because she didn't want to get out of it.
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Aqua and Kazuma: KO-NO-SU-BA!
Y/N: Why didn't I get to say it this time?
Kazuma: You had the wrong segment! Dumbass!
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Kyouya: What? You dragged the goddess to this world? Then you locked her in a cage and dunked her in a lake?! What in the world were you thinking?
Kyouya walks towards Kazuma, pulling his collar
Aqua: W-Wait! I'm having lots of fun every day, and I'm not upset about having been dragged here anymore.
She proceeds to grab me by the arm, her bust all over it
Y/N: Our father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name... This can't be good, is it... My luck is all sorts of bad! He's getting jealous...
Kyouya let's go of Kazuma's collar, walking towards me and Aqua. He stares at me, face to face.
Kyouya: Aqua-sama, I don't know how this man won you over, ut you are a goddess! And yet, this little...
Kazuma: Oi! He's giving these nasty vibes. This jerk just says whatever he wants. Talking shit to Y/N... he's getting into my nerves!
Crowd: Huh? Fighting over a woman?
Kyouya: By the way, where are you staying right now, Aqua-sama?
Aqua: In the stables.
Kyouya: Huh?
He proceeds to grab in the collar, looking at me with anger
Y/N: This guy is hella annoying, I'll have to kick his ass if things get too crazy...
Darkness: Hey! Take your hands off him! Is there no limit yo your rudeness?
Megumin: He's kind of making me want to blow him up...
Chris: Please take your hands off of him...
Y/N: Shit... If Megumin decides to blow this bitch up, I'll die too!
Kyouya: You there. A crusader and archwizard? I see you're blessed with wonderful party members. You have such excellent people here, yet you make Aqua-sama sleep in a stable. Have you had no shame?
Kazuma: This guy has really lived a life of free worry with that Cursed Sword Gram that he got as a perk when reincarnating. Even though Y/N had his perk, we worked our way up from square one. I know for a fact Y/N isn't some asshole so why should I get lectured by a guy like him?
Y/N: These girls also don't have the words "excellent" in them at all bud.
Kyouya: All of you should travel with me, a sword, master, from now on. I'll even buy you full sets of high-grade equipment.
Aqua walks up to Megumin whispering: Hey, this is bad. This guy seriously freaks me out. He's the narcissistic type, and that scares me.
Darkness: What should I do? My instincts won't let me accept this man. I enjoy getting hit more than attacking, but something about him makes me want to hit him.
Megumin: Can I blow him up? Can I blow him up?
Chris: His vibe doesn't seem right! I really want to hit him because of laying fingers on Y/N...
Y/N: Sorry bud, money doesn't buy friends. Get your bitch ass out of here.
Kazuma: It sounds like my allies unanimously don't want to join your party. Bye, then.
Kyouya: Wait!
Y/N: Would you please move aside?
Kyouya: Sorry, but I can't leave Aqua-sama in this environment.
Kazuma: What the hell. He's the type that won't listen to anyone. I can see where this is going.
Kyouya: Will you have a match with me?
Y/N sighs: I knew it...
Kyouya: If I win, turn Aqua-sama over to me. If you win, I'll listen to anyone request you have.
Y/N sighs again: I mean if you say so-
Kazuma reaches for his sword and rushes in
Kazuma: All right, I'm in. Here I go!
Y/N: Kazuma! I wasn't even ready yet!
Kazuma raises his sword at him, swinging at Kyouya
Y/N heads into the fighting scene
Kazuma: Steal!
A bright light shines on Kyouya and Y/N. Y/N wasn't able to see a thing!
Y/N: I can't see...
Kazuma had stolen Kyouya's sword. But it was too heavy for him so when he dropped it and landed on Y/N's head.
Y/N: Finally I can see! Let's get this show on the road- SLAM!
Kyouya's sword had slammed Y/N's head.
Y/N: Kazuma! What the hell-
Kyouya punches Y/N in the stomach, crashing him into a wall.
Kyouya: Trying to cheap shot me! Take this!
Kyouya kicked Kazuma right in the gut, making him fall back where the rest of the group was.
Chris: Kazuma are you okay?
Darkness: That was a dirty move by him...
Megumin: Y/N!
Kyouya: Since that's how you play. I'll have to use this.
He grabs a rope, about to pull Aqua in it.
Kyouya: I'll never forgive what they did to you, Aqua-sama! I'll save you-
Y/N gives Kyouya a raging look. His blue flames ignite as it traps the air, making the atmosphere more tense. His eyes were light blue with a dot of red in the middle and his teeth got more shaper.
Y/N: I'll kill you. Ya damn bastard! Hurting my goddamn friends! You'll pay!
Y/N rushes to Kyouya and a speed he couldn't dodge. Y/N punched him in the face with pure rage and followed it up with a roundhouse kick. Kyouya was knocked out! Y/N controlled himself to not make more of a scene and stopped his blue flames.
???: C-Coward!
Kazuma: Huh?
???: Coward, coward, coward!
Kazuma: Are you two this guy's allies?
???; That's right, you disgusting man! Coward! Only Kyouya can use that cursed sword!
Kazuma: For real?
Aqua: The Cursed Sword Gram is for this embarrassing guy's use alone.
Kazuma: Well. I have it now, so I guess I'll keep it.
Y/N laughs a little
???: Hold on just a second!
???: We won't accept the way you won!
Kazuma: I'm an advocate of true gender equality, a guy who has no problem doling out a dropkick to a female opponent.
Y/N in the background: Preach! If they can drop punches we can too!
Kazuma: Don't think I'll go easy on you. I'll unleash my Steal ability right here in public! What's it going to be.
The two girls run away at the fear of Kazuma. Not only that, Kazuma scared the rest of the girls in the party.
Y/N: Extremely perverted way to let them leave, but, that will hold 'em off. For a while at least. Let's head home!
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The Next Day!
Aqua was having a heated argument with Luna, again
Aqua: Why?!
Darkness: That was Aqua's voice.
Megumin: I wonder what happened.
Kazuma: Is she never satisfied until she's caused a commotion?
Aqua walks up to the table where the party was, looking disappointed.
Chris: Are you ok Aqua?
Aqua: She said my reward this time, after deducting the cost of the broken cage, is 100,000 eris. The cage repair fee is 200,000 eris. I wasn't even the one who broke it... The next time I see that man, I'm going to nail him with God Blow for sure!
Kyouya: I've been looking for you, Satou Kazuma! L/N Y/N!
Y/N: What the hell! Why?
Kyouya: I heard about you from a certain thief girl. She said you're a demon who strips off panties! What's more, there also to be rumors that you're into getting covered in slime. They call you "Kazuma the Brute"! And you, Y/N, they call you the devil with your murderous blue flames.
Kazuma: Hey, wait! Tell me who's spreading that around!
Y/N walks up to Kyouya.
Y/N: Oi, you're gonna bring rumors that are uncalled for because you lost a fight? Big wuss if you ask me.
Kyouya: I don't have time for you, Devil.
Y/N: Last time, dipshit. Don't call me that.
Kyouya shoves Y/N, walking towards Aqua.
Y/N mutters
No point in fighting him now...
Kyouya: Aqua-sama. I swear that I will defeat the Devil King. So, please, party up with me-
Aqua: God Blow!
Y/N: DAMN! LET'S GO AQUA! That was like a Detroit Smash from MHA!
Kazuma: That's a good anime
Y/N: I can't watch season 4 tho... (cries)
Kyouya falls down hard onto the ground, wincing in pain. Aqua then grabs his collar
Aqua: Hey, you! Pay the repair fee for the cage you broke! It's 300,000! 300,000!
Kyouya: Oh, uh, sure...
He hands Aqua the 300,000.
Kazuma: Didn't she said she needed 200,000?
Aqua: Excuse me! One drink and a stack of fried frog, please!
Kyouya: I... I realize this request is asking too much. But, please, could you return the cursed sword to me? In exchange, I'll buy you the finest sword in the shop-
Megumin pulls his cape
Megumin: First, there's the matter of the cursed sword no longer being in his possession.
Kyouya notices that Kazuma has a pouch of coins.
Kyouya: S-Satou Kazuma, where's the cursed sword? Wh-Wh-Where did my cursed sword go?
Kazuma: 3 words. I sold it.
Kyouya runs off in the distance, being filled with sadness and regret. The two young teenage girls follow him as well. Y/N was trying so hard not to laugh but had to let it go.
Y/N: HAHAHA!
Kazuma sighs: This money is meaningless
Darkness: What in the world was with that guy? By the way, he kept calling Aqua a goddess. What was that about?
Kazuma: The time is right Aqua! It might be okay to tell Megumin and Darkness.
Kazuma nods at Aqua which she does the same as well.
Aqua: I've kept this to myself until now, but I'll tell you. I am Aqua, the goddess who rules water, worshiped by the Religious Order of Axis. Yes. I am the goddess Aqua!
Darkness and Megumin: Did you dream that?
Y/N: Ouch...
Aqua: No!
Luna: Emergency! Emergency! All adventurers, please arm yourselves at once and gather at the front gate of the city! Adventurer L/N Y/N-san and his party in particular, as quickly as possible, please!
Y/N's party: Huh?
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Location: Infront of " The Town of Beginning Adventures"
Y/N and his party where outside of the wall seeing a familiar face, once again.
Dullahan: All of you! No, just Y/N L/N. You damn wretch! I've challenged you to a duel you damn Devil!
Y/N walks a little bit close to Dullahan. Pulling out his sword, he unleashes his blue flames. This time, instead of his eyes showing is E/C, his eyes are blue with a dot of red in the middle.
Y/N: You want a duel Dullahan? I'll give you one!
Y/N: I'm not a Devil damnit! I'll kick your ass and slice you right in half sending you back into hell!
The End!
(A/N: A little cliche in the end Ik. But hey, we on the fighting now! As I said, I've mixed in the plot of Konosuba with Blue Exorcist so Y/N will go berserk like Rin did but a little different. The next episode will be straight FIGHTING so a lot of GIFS and action-packed moments! Anyways, an RWBY fanfic! You want that or no? It's a thought though! It might be made when I finish covering the second season of Konosuba in the fanfic. If there's a season 3, I might do both RWBY and Konosuba. But, that will mean more time for me to make the chapters instead of me posting every other day or 2 days. Also, thank you AGAIN for the support I know I'm saying it too much and it seems dragged out, which it is but I enjoy writing! Yes! Writing and READING! Anyways, with this chapter done, I'll see you in the next one. PEACE!)