A/N: No time for notes! We're in the middle of the...
Final Battle: Part 3
by Lori Ellis
It's time! Open the portal! This world will now feel Kyron's wrath!
* * *
The wall between worlds had fallen. It was nothing that any ordinary person could see, although Dan and Caroline could both perceive the black hole that had ripped open outside of the school, and the black tendrils extending out from it, reaching out and attacking the minds of anyone they touched.
"He's coming!" shouted Dan with manic glee. "Kyron is coming!"
"Who?" asked one of the creative writing students.
"Kyron is your lord and master!" Dan shouted. "All bow down before Kyron!" he said, forcing the student to her knees through the power of his mind.
Dan was about to instruct all the students in their new role of eternal servitude, when a strange thing happened. A most unusual woman floated in through the hole in the wall, held aloft by an umbrella. She was tastefully dressed, although a bit old-fashioned in her wool skirt and jacket, button-up boots, and black straw hat covered in daisies. She landed softly in the opening and waited. Just for a bit of added weirdness, a duck flew in through the hole and landed beside her.
"Who are you?" Dan asked.
"My name is Maggie," the mysterious woman announced in a proper London accent. "Maggie Poppins, but you may call me simply Maggie."
"Well Simply Maggie," said Dan. "You should know that I've learned to Never Trust a Duck! And we're a little busy here, so you can just shove off!"
Maggie looked sternly at Dan. "You may think that Kyron is all fun and games, but I assure you he is not," she told him. "He is monstrously evil, however he is not invulnerable! You see, I know his secret. To defeat him, all you have to do is..."
It was unfortunate that at this moment, the vortex created by the enormous pressure difference between worlds struck the school. Maggie, who was standing precariously on broken brickwork in a hole in the wall while holding an open umbrella, was sucked out of the school and thrown into the sky. Thus, another potential solution to the problems at Twin Oaks was foiled.
* * *
Trisha burst through the wall of the school, entering through the smoke and flames of an Akagiyama missile. There were no students in sight. By this point, someone had decided to impose a lockdown and so all students were in the classrooms. Possibly not the best idea as the school fell down around them. As it happened, the only person in the hallway was the Principal, Mr. Lawrence.
"What's going on here?" asked Mr. Lawrence. "Why aren't you in your classroom?"
Trisha wasted no time in grabbing his arm and tossing him down the corridor. As he rolled, his floor-length leather jacket remained a floor-length leather jacket, and his sunglasses remained sunglasses. When he came to a stop and stood he was...
"Mr. Fishburne!" cried out Trisha. "I mean, Mr. Lawrence. You really are Principal Lawrence!"
"Who were you expecting, Samuel L. Jackson?" the principal replied calmly in a voice that resonated like a velvet-covered hammer. He took a good look at her. "You've just earned yourself a detention, for violating the school dress code!"
The front door to the school squeaked at that moment, and Trisha turned to see Lori Ellis making her escape. Lori started to run, and Trisha flew after her, chasing her down with a barrage of Akagiyama missiles.
"Walk in the halls!" Principal Lawrence yelled after her. "Trisha Spencer! Are you and Lori Ellis fighting again? That's an automatic detention! Get back here! I'm calling the National Guard! I'll call the marines! I'll call... Batman!"
Lori ran out the front door, then continued running down the front steps of the school and down the road, Akagiyama missiles exploding at her heels the entire way.
"I really hate those things," Lori muttered to herself as she ran.
"Hello, Lori," Trisha said, flying down the road at Lori's side. "You're not going to just keep running away, are you? I was really hoping we could settle this, once and for all."
"No thanks," Lori replied, starting to run out of breath. "I think I'll just keep running away if it's all the same to you!"
"Alright, if that's what you want," Trisha replied. "But goodness, you're starting to sound winded! How about I give you a lift?"
Trisha backed off, then came up behind Lori, grabbing her, lifting her off the ground and carrying her to a dizzying height.
* * *
"Red Squadron Leader to base," said the pilot of the F/A 18 Hornet twin-engine fighter jet.
"Base Commander here," replied Zed from the MIB command center. "Are you within range of the school?"
"Almost," replied the pilot. "It's just that... we have a situation up here."
Zed looked questioningly at J and Silent Bob. He turned back to the microphone and pressed the button to speak. "Go ahead and describe your situation, Red Leader."
"The attack force is on approach to the school, but we've been intercepted by an unknown entity."
"Can you describe?" said Zed. "Over."
"It looks like... a couple of school girls," said the pilot. "One dressed for school, the other in some sort of swim suit."
Zed looked confused for a moment before replying. "Do they appear hostile?" he asked.
"Two school girls at 35,000 feet? Hostile?" The pilot considered the question. "It's difficult to tell, they just look like innocent school girls. Wait a minute, one of them is pointing at us. She's firing missiles! Taking evasive action!"
"All squadrons!" Zed called out on the radio. "Red Squadron has met a hostile attack force! Seek out any innocent school girls at 35,000 feet, engage and destroy!"
* * *
Trisha held Lori from behind while firing another Akagiyama missile at the fighter jet, as it desperately employed its evasive maneuvers.
"That should keep him occupied while we finish our business, Lori!" Trisha said. But then she noticed two more fighter jets, turning to intercept her.
"Darn it, what bad timing!" she said, as she hovered at 35,000 feet with Lori Ellis. "I'm sorry about this Lori, but you and I can't have our fight right now. I'm going to have my hands full destroying this Air Force squadron. You can find your own way back to school, can't you? Bye!"
Trisha let Lori go, barely bothering to look as Lori plummeted to the Earth. Trisha flew off toward the nearest fighter jet.
* * *
Lori took a moment to recover her bearings. She had just recently become used to the terror of being carried ever upward into the sky. However now she was required to adjust to the reality of no longer being carried into the sky, but rather being dropped out of the sky. They sound similar, but the one is actually on a completely different level of terror from the other. Once she had adjusted though, Lori knew exactly what to do. She closed her eyes and screamed.
Lori's scream was cut short, however, as she landed on something hard. Opening her eyes, she found that she had landed on the front of one of the many fighter jets currently filling the sky, straddling the windshield. Lori bent forward so that she could talk to the pilot between her legs.
"Hello?" she yelled over the 1,000 mile per hour winds. "Can you put me down, please?"
"Get off my plane!" yelled the pilot. "I can't see anything!"
"I really don't want to do that," Lori yelled. "Unless, you know, you could land first!"
"Are you an innocent school girl?" the pilot asked. "Up in the sky?"
"Yes!" replied Lori. "That's exactly what I am! An innocent school girl in the sky!"
"I'm supposed to shoot any innocent school girls I see in the sky!" The pilot yelled.
"What?!" screamed Lori. "That's crazy! What idiot is giving you your orders?"
At that moment, a green streak shot toward them, arcing from the horizon. It landed on the back of the plane, thrusting one enormous hand through the hull so it had something to hold onto.
"Hi Madi," Lori called out to the green monster. "What are you doing way up here?"
"Hulkette smash!" replied Madi, using a two-fisted overhead smash to break the plane in two. Lori was thrown from her perch on the windscreen as the two sections of plane spiraled separately toward the ground, and Madi jumped to the next plane in her ongoing confrontation with the various branches of the military.
"Oh wait!" Lori cried out to the pilot falling next to her, still seated in the front section of his plane. "Now I get why you're ordered to shoot innocent school girls in the sky!"
She watched as the pilot ejected from his half-plane, his ejection seat sprouting a parachute that would see him safely to the ground. Lori continued to fall, farther and farther from the pilot.
"Nice!" she screamed sarcastically. "You might have at least tried to save me as well!"
But that ejection seat gave her an idea. "I can become anyone, dressed as anything!" she thought. "So why not a parachute jumper?"
Lori conjured up an image of a parachutist. It wasn't easy – she had to imagine the chute itself, rolled up and stored together with all the ropes and straps and belts and harness. Once she had it though, she pulled the rip cord. Try to imagine, your downward fall being brought to a sudden halt by a large chute, tethered to you by ropes, all made from your own skin. Lori had very sensitive skin. She gave up on the parachute idea very quickly. The chute disappeared, reabsorbed by Lori, and she found herself falling once again.
"Grab on to me!" said Maggie as she floated past, holding tight to her umbrella.
Lori grabbed onto Maggie's legs, and the two girls descended toward the Earth.
"There are more of us up here than down on the ground!" Lori called out. "I think you should know that I'm really not very good at holding onto things!"
"You can do it; just a little bit further," Maggie called down to her. "It's just like holding onto a rope in gym class!"
"I could never hold onto a rope in gym class!" Lori cried out as she slipped further.
"You can change into anything, right?" said Maggie. "Grow a great big long tentacle and wrap it around me!"
Unfortunately, because of the noisy wind Lori misheard what Maggie said, and she was so grossed out she let go. Lori was falling again, and watched as the wind took Maggie far, far away.
"So this is it," Lori thought as she watched the Earth coming closer and closer. Nothing else remained between her and the ground.
Lori realized she was still screaming, and decided to stop. She rolled over, and calmly looked up at the sky instead. It was a beautiful day, and Lori decided to enjoy her last moments. The sun was bright on her face; the sky was blue and dotted with puffy white clouds. Those were her favorite clouds. Of course they're everyone's favorite clouds, but it really only mattered that they were hers.
Lori smiled, and hoped that the last thing she ever saw in this world just might be Trisha Spencer being blown out of the sky. The tops of the buildings passed by, but Lori was relaxed as...
She stopped. Lori stopped, and bounced lightly, lying on her back just a few feet above the street.
Lori looked around. She was caught in an enormous web, stretched between buildings across the road. Lori tried to sit up.
"Ouch!" she squealed. "Eeek! Ow, ow, ow! This stuff is sticky and it's pulling all the little hairs on my arms! Oh, wow that's painful. Not to mention kinda gross."
"Yeah I know," said Spider-man as he lowered himself, upside down on a single strand of webbing right in front of Lori. "They never really get into it in the movies, but this stuff is really sticky. It'll get on your clothes too, but don't worry! It doesn't stain, and it comes out really well in a hot water rinse."
"Well somebody might have warned me," Lori complained. Then she looked up. She looked up, and there was Spider-man. Hanging in front of her. Upside down. Just inches away.
Lori reached out, and touched Spider-man's mask. "So is this the scene where the rescued maiden rewards her knight in shining armour with a kiss?" she asked.
"A what?" asked Spider-man, suddenly very nervous. He retracted his webbing, flipping himself right-side-up and dropping to the pavement. "No. No, that's not necessary. Just doing my duty. Plus, that would be so wrong, on so many levels! Here, let me help you down from there."
Spider-man reached up, and assisted Lori in extracting herself from the sticky mess which was his web.
"There you are Lori!" said Spider-man. Then realizing what he had done he covered by adding, "I mean, Miss. Whoever you are. I think, maybe you told me your name earlier."
Lori looked up at Spider-man. "Well, if I can't have a kiss, can you at least give me a lift home?"
"Uh, sorry, I can't," said Spider-man. "I didn't drive downtown."
"Not like that!" Lori said with a laugh. "I mean a lift! Like Spider-man? Lift me, and carry me?"
"You mean like swinging?" said Spider-man.
"Yes, like in the movies!" Lori laughed again.
"That's not really going to work," Spider-man told her. "Swinging usually relies on having a lot of tall buildings. I don't know if you've noticed, but this town is pretty flat."
"Oh, I guess I didn't realize," Lori said as she cringed with embarrassment. "So how are you getting home?"
"The Number 24 bus should be along in about ten minutes," Spider-man said as he walked over to the bus stop. "That'll take us back to the school. You're welcome to wait with me."
"Wait for the bus?" said Lori incredulously. "With Spider-man? Okay, sure. I guess I could take the bus with you."
There was a bench at the bus stop, and Spider-man sat. Lori sat down next to him, and they waited. Once in a while, one or the other would lean forward, looking down the road to see if the bus was coming yet.
"Could you lend me three bucks, for the bus?" Spider-man asked. "I left my wallet in my other pants. I can pay you back tomorrow."
"Sure, Spider-man," she told him. Lori shifted awkwardly, as her skirt stuck uncomfortably to the bench.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: The final part of the final battle is next! And, you know, that star button is still there, at the top of the screen...