i don't know when i'll next get internet connection, but it's gonna be a pretty important day for you tomorrow. i believe in you (so does ugly), but you need to believe in yourself too; that's the most important part. i can give you as many words as you need to build up your castle, but the castle needs a strong queen; that's where you come in. i will give the confirmation that you're incredible, but you must fathom the question and believe the answer. i know you've done this before and you're invincible and all that stuff, but a little confidence never hurt anybody. if you were just a little more proud, you'd be an enchantress though; and you are already certainly a fearsome thing to behold. swallow some of your mystique, however appealing it is. find friends. promise me, you will be more open because, jesus, no offence, but you're pretty hard to get to know. there's a lot of people in this new school so, statistically, there's gotta be someone there you like. maybe you'll like them more than me. i think that's my real worry; i don't want you to forget me. that's why i made myself the sun, so everyday you'd wake up and think of me. i'm sorry. i hope you find someone better than me :) you deserve it. if you get worried, find a sentence and repeat it. it helps this big autistic mess sometimes. ones that i use pretty often are 'be proud' (pretty basic i know), 'i'm the ghost with the most' (don't really remember where that one came to be; Beetlejuice i think), all of hushabye mountain (honestly i need a recording of you singing it; with the you going to high and going lower) and 'life's no dress rehearsal' (another musical but i thought you'd like it)
i'll talk properly soon, i promise.
i've started saving up to see you. maybe in a few years.
the distance doesn't seem as far now i have a motive.
love you forever :)