The Gryffindor and Ravenclaw first-years made their way down the long staircase. It was almost one in the morning and everyone was pretty tired, although not so tired that some of the Ravenclaws didn't have a few questions about what they saw in class.
"Hey, you're pretty smart," one of the Ravenclaw boys said to Remus, going down the stairs next to him. "Lupin, right?"
"Lupin? Aren't you the one that gave a speech about advanced magical theory on your first Charms class?" one of the Ravenclaw girls asked, glancing behind her. "Professor Flitwick was talking about it on Monday."
"How come you weren't with us?" another Ravenclaw boy asked when they reached the bottom of the staircase.
Remus clutched at his bag, terror rising in his chest at the small group of Ravenclaws that remained behind to stare at him. A handful of Ravenclaws had left as well as three of the Gryffindor girls, but he had far too big an audience still and he felt like he might vomit. Then before he could answer, Spinnet spoke up. Not in his defense. Quite the opposite. "No idea, he's definitely not very brave or Gryffindor-y that I've seen."
The Ravenclaws looked at Spinnet then back at Remus curiously. "I, er..."
"Shame Resorting isn't a thing," Spinnet then said though he looked at Black when he said it. "I think Gryffindor got a couple of accidentals."
"The Sorting Hat is never wrong," Potter said, throwing his arm around Black's shoulders.
Spinnet stepped closer to the two of them. "I think they were pity Sortings. Lupin belongs with the birds, and Black..." He gave Black a rather nasty look. "Black is a Slytherin."
Black whipped his wand out, pointing it levelly at Spinnet's face, and all the students watching gasped loudly. "You take that back!"
"Not until you've apologized to Dave."
"I have apologized!" Black snarled.
The Ravenclaws and the Gryffindor girls were watching with interest. Remus had no idea what that was about either and he took a few nervous steps back. Magic isn't allowed in the corridors, he thought, watching Black hold his wand. Please don't...!
"C'mon, Andy, he did apologize," Struthers muttered.
Spinnet looked at Black's wand then up at him. "It's not enough for what he called you. You want to duel, Black?"
"No he does not," Evans said, stepping forward. "Dueling is against the rules!"
"Careful, Evans, or he'll call you the same thing he called Dave," Spinnet sneered, glaring at Black who began trembling.
"It was an accident," he said, voice tense.
"Accident?! It wasn't anything such!" Spinnet lunged forward and grabbed Black by the collar, shoving him against the wall. "You're a Black, you don't belong in Gryffindor--"
"LET GO OF HIM!" Potter launched himself onto Spinnet's back. "HE'S APOLOGIZED!"
Spinnet stumbled back, gagging from Potter's arm crossing over his neck. Everyone was making noise and someone began chanting 'fight! fight! fight!'. Remus pressed himself against the far wall, watching in horror as Potter and Spinnet began spinning around, Spinnet trying to get him off. Potter finally fell off of him and Spinnet got his own wand out and flourished it at Potter.
"Locomotor mortis!" Spinnet said but nothing happened. Remus recognized the spell as one being down the line in Defense Against the Dark Arts.
"Stop!" Evans said, stomping her foot as Black went to help Potter up. "Stop it right now!"
Spinnet tucked his wand away and several students gave a sigh of relief but then Spinnet pulled back his arm, his fist going right for the back of Black's head.
"Locomotor mortis!" Remus had his wand out before he could think, and Spinnet was thrown to the floor with a cry of pain, his legs glued together. Students backed up even more, gaping openly at Spinnet on the floor then at Remus who was panting a bit heavily from the exertion of doing a spell he never tried before. Black and Potter stared at him too as Black pulled Potter to his feet though their stares were more admiration than shock.
"YOU--FREAK!" Spinnet shouted, struggling to pull his legs apart.
"WHAT IS GOING ON?!" Spring appeared at the entrance to the staircase. "It's been a good fifteen minutes since class ended, you all should be in your dorms at this point!" He looked at Spinnet and at his legs. "Who hexed you?"
"Lupin," Spinnet said. He grunted as Professor Spring lifted the spell off, and got up, brushing his pants off, eyes blazing.
Spring--and everyone else--looked at Lupin who still stupidly had his wand out. He slowly put his wand back in his pocket, face beyond red. Oh no oh no oh no oh no...!
"Sir, he was defending Sirius," Potter said, moving himself so he was between Professor Spring and Remus. "Spinnet was insulting Sirius and Lupin and then he--Spinnet, I mean--tried to use that curse on me and then he tried to punch Sirius when Sirius's back was turned."
"Potter jumped on me," Spinnet said, getting back to his feet, rubbing his hip.
"You threw Sirius up against the wall!" Potter snapped right back.
"SI-I-ILE-E-E-E-ENCE!" Spring roared in a voice nobody expected from the spindly ancient man. "First of all, a point from everyone's houses for everyone still here for not going back to your dorms. That is, I believe... eight points from Ravenclaw, and ten from Gryffindor. Mr. Spinnet, did you try to curse Mr. Potter and try to punch Mr. Black as well as... throw him against the wall?"
Spinnet opened his mouth but Spring was giving him such a look he quailed under the glare. "Y--yes," he admitted.
"Mr. Potter, did you jump on Mr. Spinnet?"
"Yes, sir."
"And what did Mr. Black do to warrant being thrown against the wall?" Spring asked, fixing his gaze on Black now.
"Sir, Monday he called Dave a vulgar word," Spinnet said quickly.
"And I apologized for it!" Black insisted.
"I see." Professor Spring adjusted his glasses (which were just as spindly as the rest of him) and sighed. "Mr. Potter, five points from Gryffindor for physically attacking Mr. Spinnet. Mr. Spinnet, a total of ten points from Gryffindor for attempting to curse Mr. Potter and physically attacking Mr. Black. Mr. Lupin..." Spring turned to the tiny boy who was shaking from head to toe. "Fifteen points from Gryffindor for cursing Mr. Spinnet and using magic in the corridor."
Forty points lost from Gryffindor in one night. After only a week of school. All the Gryffindors looked distressed and several of them were shooting glares at Potter, Spinnet, and Remus.
"Now. Get. To. Your. BEDS!" Spring yelled and the students scattered.
Spinnet grabbed Struthers and stormed off, followed by the Gryffindor girls and the Ravenclaws. Evans gave Remus a rather frightened look before scurrying off. The only four remaining behind were Remus, Black, Potter, and Pettigrew.
"That was brilliant," Pettigrew said as they began walking.
"Lupin, that was amazing!" Black exclaimed.
"How did you do that? What was that?" Potter inquired excitedly.
Remus just shook his head as he struggled to stop the tears from flowing. I was in a fight. I broke a school rule. I used magic against someone else. I attacked someone else. At that lost thought he couldn't stop and the tears dripped down. Mum and Dad are going to be so mad... what if they kick me out of school? I attacked someone! Okay, with magic, but still, I attacked them, what if Dumbledore decides I'm too dangerous? Why did I do that?!
"Lupin... you all right?" Black cautiously put a hand on Remus's shoulder.
He jerked away with a gasp, as if the touch had hurt him. That's when they saw their dorm-mate was crying again and Remus hated himself so much in that moment, and hated them for seeing him this. He took off running to get back to the Gryffindor tower as quickly as possible, wanting to run from everything that happened. Why-why-why?! He kept seeing Spinnet's fist going for Black's head and his stomach twisted itself into knots. When he got to the tower he went right to the bathroom so he could throw up. After his stomach finished emptying he staggered to the sink to clean his mouth out.
The worst part is... Spinnet was right. Remus looked up at his pale, sickly looking reflection. I don't belong in Gryffindor. It was a pity Sorting. The wolf is the lion. Not me. He slumped to the floor and hugged his knees, crying for quite a while before he was able to get himself to bed, long after even Potter and Black fell asleep.
*
Remus woke up very early, hoping--and managing--to get up before Black did. He rushed through a shower and getting ready for the day. Then he waited in the common room until seven am hit, the earliest first-years could go out. He ran down to the Great Hall and waited there until seven-thirty when the food first started appearing. He gulped as much as he could as fast as he could and then ran to the first-floor and spend the next hour and fifteen minutes outside the Transfiguration classroom, or at least that was his intention. Shortly after he got there McGonagall left her office to head for her own breakfast. As soon as she came into the corridor Remus looked up from his book.
"Good morning, Mr. Lupin," she said rather stiffly.
"G--good m-m-m-morning, Professor," he managed to respond, wishing to disappear. "C--could I t-t-talk to you f--for a m-minute?"
"Of course." She came over and sat down next to him. "Unless you'd prefer the privacy of my office...?" He shook his head and she waited in silence for him to start the conversation.
It took a moment for him to gather the courage. "Am I g--going to b-b-be expelled?"
"Expelled? Whatever for?" McGonagall asked, taken aback.
Remus sniffled. "Su--surely P-P-Professor Spring t-t-told you what--what happened?"
"He did," she agreed. "I understand he took points away? So why would you be expelled on top of having points removed? Really, if anything, you should have gotten detention but certainly not expelled."
"I at--tt-tacked someone," Remus whispered in a tiny voice she barely heard.
"So did Mr. Potter and Mr. Spinnet, from what I understand."
"Th--they're n--not like me," he said, finally getting to the point. I'm a monster and I attacked someone, why am I still here?
McGonagall sighed and carefully adjusted her emerald green pointed hat though it was already perfectly set on her head. "You are like them, Mr. Lupin. You're a first-year Gryffindor student, and that is precisely how I intend to treat you." His stomach began twisting again but not from fear or panic, from something else. Something that caused warmth in his chest. "I am not encouraging you to go around spelling other students, mind you, and if it happens again you will get detention." He nodded, understanding fully, feeling beyond pleased he wasn't going to be kicked out. That he wasn't in as deep of trouble as he had suspected. "Have you had breakfast?"
"Yes, Professor," he said, so happy that the words came out without any difficulty.
McGonagall rose and pointed her wand at the door to her classroom. "You may wait in there, if you wish. Don't touch anything."
Remus went into the empty classroom, to the same seat as last Thursday, and worked on the rest of his Transfiguration homework so he could hand it all in to McGonagall, wondering if she was going to take points away for it being late. When she came back at about twenty till class started he handed over everything and she went over it, grading it right there.
"Excellent work, Mr. Lupin, even from the class you missed..."
Both essays had a big fat O on the top. Outstanding.
Remus sat back in his seat, brimming with happiness. He wasn't going to be expelled and he got Os. Okay so he lost fifteen points from Gryffindor but it wasn't the end of the world (sixteen, he realized, since he lost a point from still being at the base of the tower). You're a first-year Gryffindor student, McGonagall's voice repeated in his head.
Don't get too cocky, another voice whispered silkily in the back of his head, a voice close to his own only darker. You're still a beast. A first-year Gryffindor student and a monster. Don't think you're human for a second because you're not. You don't belong here.
Remus arranged his book, ink, and parchment on his desk, keeping the smile on his face but feeling considerably less happy now.
*
"You weren't at breakfast... and you were gone when we woke up," Potter complained as they caught up to Remus after class.
"We wanted to see if you were okay," Black added. "You seemed really upset last night."
"No idea why, you were so cool!" Pettigrew added. "Can you teach us that spell?"
Remus hugged his bag to his chest, wishing they wouldn't do this, wishing they wouldn't trail after him and ask him questions and act like... like... Friendly, why do they have to act so friendly. "S'nothing," he mumbled. "Fine."
"Thanks for helping out," Black said, brushing his hair back from his eyes and giving Remus a smile. "Spinnet's a right git."
Keep to myself, don't draw attention, don't do anything to cause risk, avoid any sort of duel or fight... His mother's list of rules buzzed through Remus's heard. Above all don't make any friends.
"Hey, we were gonna go rig up some firecrackers in some toilets after History, you wanna come with?" Potter inquired. Remus shook his head. "All right, suit yourself. But you should avoid the bathrooms off the entrance hall for a while... for your own safety."
*
At lunch a post owl swooped in with an envelope for Remus since he hadn't been in the Great Hall for mail at breakfast. He recognized his father's handwriting and wondered why he hadn't used Arthur, then he realized the owl was one of the speedier species while Arthur was ancient and a bit slow. Remus took the envelope and saw it said open in private. Remus finished eating and went to a nearby bathroom then hesitated, remembering Potter's warning. Instead he went up to the first floor and found a bathroom there.
Inside the envelope was an article from the Daily Prophet. That was it. Remus frowned then cringed back, seeing his father's handwriting scrawled in the margins. BE. CAREFUL.
The article was about a werewolf who had been captured by the Werewolf Capture Unit. She had been taken in and then found to be 'feral' so she was executed. Remus smoothed out the clipping and read it over and over and over. The werewolf was found pretending to be a normal witch in a community with several children. Several children was circled by his father.
Feral, he thought, finger tracing over the world. Was she really or was it an excuse?
Oh.
He sat back realizing the exact meaning behind his father sending the article. They probably called her feral since they were afraid of her living near children. Just like I am now. He pulled his knees up, shaky arms clinging around them, no doubt in his mind anymore just how dangerous it was for him to be here. If he was caught he knew he would just be executed and claimed to be feral. He had a vivid image in his head of his classmates testifying against him.
He can't even talk like a person!
And then Spinnet's voice from the night before: FREAK!!!
Remus tucked the folded up article in his pocket and then closed his eyes, staying in the bathroom for a good long while.
*
Remus began sneezing as soon as he went into the Potions dungeons and he took a table at random, wondering how weird everyone would think he was if he wore something to cover his nose. The smells were very strong and assault-y today.
"Go on, budge over." Black sat next to him and Potter besides him, and they nudged at Remus till he scooted down for room for Pettigrew.
Slughorn talked a bit about the cure for boils and then began discussing today's lesson which was mostly a lecture along with having the students prepare some ingredients--mostly the same ingredients they used the previous week. Remus stared in horror at the pungeous onions being part of the ingredients that Slughorn passed around.
"Ewwww," Black said, poking at a jelly-like substance they were supposed sieve through, as there were black dots inside they needed. "Hey, James, it's a Slytherin," he whispered, using his spoon to move the stuff around. Potter choked on nothing and snickered. Black scooped a little bit up in a spoon and twisted around, pulling the top of the spoon back with one finger and let it loose, sending the stuff flying. It splatted on the Slytherin right behind them. Black and Potter began snickering once more while the Slytherin glowered before he pulled gloves on to get the gunk off his robes with a wrinkled nose and deep scowl. "Galleon if you eat it," Black said, scooping up some more.
"We're supposed to be sieving it, not playing with it," Evans hissed out. For some reason she was at the table behind them, with the Slytherin.
Black turned and acted like he was gonna launch the stuff at her. She gave a squeak and ducked behind her cauldron. "Leave her alone!" the Slytherin snapped. Black laughed and nearly dropped the spoon, which got Slughorn's attention.
"Mr. Black, what are you doing?"
"Trying to sieve it, sir," Black replied and plopped the stuff into the strainer and started trying to squish it through.
Slughorn clasped his hands behind his back, his stomach bobbing as he rocked on his heels. "And did you read the description of mugteller eggs?"
"Of course I did, sir!"
Slughorn nodded. "Good. So you're prepared for the sensation you'll be feeling in about five seconds from touching it with your bare hands?"
"Sens--aaaa--AAAHHHHH!" Black dropped the seize and began screaming as his fingers started turning bright red. "OWWWWW! OWW!!!"
Slughorn sighed heavily. "To the hospital wing with you, Mr. Black."
"I d--don't r---remember the way," Black stuttered out, watching the red streak across his hands towards his wrist.
"I remember, I can take him!" Potter said.
Slughorn eyed Potter and decided sending those two off together it would end badly. "Lupin, you remember the way, yes? Get him to Pomfrey, please. Thattaboy."
Remus grabbed his bag and left the room, a bit relieved for this miracle getting him away from those dumb onions. Black scurried after him and quickly overtook him due to his impossibly long legs. He paused and waited for Remus to catch back up. Remus gave him a rather annoyed look. "You went to the hospital wing multiple times, I don't understand how you..." He trailed off, realizing he was just talking and with no problem, as if--but now that he realized, the words failed. "How y-you c--c-could f-orget."
"James was the one to get directions, I didn't really pay attention when we went," Black whimpered. "Why is it doing this to me?" He tugged back his sleeve as red began streaking up his wrists. "What exactly is this?"
"Poison."
"Ha-ha."
Remus pulled his bag higher on his shoulder and then raised his eyebrows. "N--no, it... is. You r--really didn't read th--the--the--info?"
Black stared at him in horror then at his hands. "Could we please walk a little faster then, Lupin? I don't feel so good."
Remus began going a bit faster though Black still couldn't walk full stride. "S'your own f--fault," he mumbled under his breath.
"Is not! It's Slughorn's fault."
"H--how is it po--possibly S--Sss-lughorn's fa-f-fault?!"
"....he panicked me."
Remus rolled his eyes. "Oh, of--of--of course how silly of me to th--to think otherwise." Black grinned at him when he said that and Remus began blushing, uncomfortable about talking to him like that. Black obviously didn't mind but... "C-c-come on, b-before it g-gets to-to your heart."
"I'm going to die?"
But Remus just walked as fast as he possibly could and Sirius was finally able to take his usual long strides to stay by his side which infuriated Remus to no end and made him wish, not for the first time, he wasn't so small.