Chapter 43
Facade
Hindi naman pala ako mamamatay dahil abot naman pala ng paa ko ang sahig ng pool. Nag-panic ako ng kaunti at todo ang pagpumagaypay ng mga kamay pero abot ko naman pala. At ngayon ay lamig na lamig ang katawan ko pag-ahon ko sa tubig.
"Grabe ka, Celestine, tinakot mo ko!" sabi ni Ione at agad akong inalalayan. "Do you secretly have a death wish? Bakit lagi ka nalang napapahamak, ha?"
I cough and she rubs my back. When I've calmed down, she takes my robe and hands it to me. "Ginulat mo kasi ako," reklamo ko. "Akala ko kung sino."
"Akala mo si Daimon Clyde mo?"
And I cough again, maybe even blushing a little. "Bakit mo ba ako sinundan? Himala yata at hindi ka tulog ngayon. Don't tell me Luna is here too?"
"Wala, ako lang. Bakit? Disappointed ka?"
"Why would I be?"
"Because I'm not your best friend, nor your boyfriend." She gives me a knowing look, wiggling her eyebrows and smiling annoyingly.
"We're just friends." That's what you say, but why are you blushing so hard, Celestine? Well maybe because the last time I told Daimon we were just friends, he was kissing me and stripping my clothes off.
"Sinong niloko mo, Celestine? Walang maniniwala na friends lang kayo ni pogi." Umupo kami ni Ione sa isang tagiliran, ako basang-basa at siya ngiting-ngiti. "Ikaw, ha, may Zairus ka na, may Daimon Clyde ka pa."
My face falls.
"Shit— Sorry, landmine. Erase, erase." She grimaces at her own brashness, slapping her mouth as if scolding herself.
"Why did you follow me here, Ione?"
Tinignan niya ako na mukhang guilty pa rin sa huling sinabi niya. "Well... I'm kinda worried about you. 'Cause you know, you almost drowned and all. Pati miss na rin kasi 'di na tayo classmates nila Luna at manyak. Uy, ha, 'wag ka masyadong kiligin na miss kita."
I laugh, lightly shaking my head at her antics.
"Pati ano..." umpisa niya na parang nahihiya. "Sorry rin."
My eyebrows raise in question. "Para saan?"
"Kasi ano... Uhm... Parang... nagsungit yata sa'yo si Julien dahil sa ginawa mo sa points?"
Oh.
When I decided to reset the points of our competitors and Julien was worried about Ione having to deal with her class alone. Hindi naman 'yon nangyari dahil nakalabas na si Kaven ng infirmary.
"It's perfectly fine, Ione," I assure her. "I'm at fault too since I didn't consult you guys about my decision first. Naiintindihan ko naman kung bakit naging gano'n ang reaksyon ni Julien. I would be skeptic too when it comes to Luna. Don't worry about it, I didn't take any offense."
She sighs like a big weight has been taken off her shoulders. "Buti naman. Akala ko kasi galit ka na. Tapos 'di mo pa ako ginising last week para doon sa hint, ang sabi ko pa naman sa'yo gisingin mo ako."
My jaw drops. "At ako pa talaga—" I jokingly slap her arm. "Ikaw kaya 'tong hindi magising kahit ilang beses ko na gisingin! Itanong mo pa kay Cenon kung paano mo itaboy ang kamay namin sa pag-gising sa'yo."
Natatawang nagtaas ng kamay si Ione at halos sumingkit na ang mata. "Oo na, oo na. Hinay-hinay lang naman sa atake."
I look at her again in mock disbelief.
"Pero seryoso, Celestine," sabi niya nang humupa na ang pagtawa niya. "Pag-pasensyahan mo nalang sana kung minsan parang nagsusungit si Julien. Mabait naman talaga 'yon, hindi lang maipinta sa mukha. At saka masyado lang talaga siyang overprotective sa amin nila Kaoru."
Tumango ako. "You four have been friends ever since, right?"
I remember asking Kaoru about it too before. Noong tinanong ko siya kung best friend niya ba si Drake at parang diring-diri pa ang loko sa sinabi ko. He said he doesn't use "labels" and "endearments" but still calls me princess anyway.
I shake my head at the memory.
"Mmm," Ione nods. "Silang tatlo... si Kaoru, si Drake, si Julien... They're my family now. My whole life revolves around those three. Sobrang importante nila sa akin—and yes, pati 'yong manyak na Kaoru."
I lightly laugh at her persistent effort to insult Kaoru.
"The four of us," sabi ni Ione, ngayon ay malayo na ang tingin, nakangiti pero may bahid ng lungkot sa mga mata. "We were orphans."
What?
Hindi ko maitago ang paglaki ng mga mata ko sa gulat.
Bakit ngayon ko lang nalaman 'to? I've been with them for a good amount of time, but I never knew about this until now.
"I didn't get to know my parents at all," pagpapatuloy ni Ione. "Not my mother, not my motherfucker. Wala. Pagkalabas ko palang yata sa nanay ko ay iniwan na ako sa kung saan. Mahal ba diaper that time? Pwede namang lampin, ah? O baka tamad lang talaga mga magulang ko kaya tamang tapon nalang, gano'n."
I'm not sure how to react. This is the first time I'm hearing this. Ione is trying to make it sound as light as possible but I still don't know what to say.
Kaoru never talks about his past. And now, hearing what Ione just said, I suddenly wish I showed them how much I appreciate them more.
Losing my father was the hardest thing I had to go through. I can't even imagine not knowing who your parents are at all. They must have felt so neglected... so unloved. And now I feel so blessed to have had a father who showered me with love and affection, even if only for a short time.
"Uy, sorry, ha," biglang sabi ni Ione. "Baka masyadong mabigat. Wala lang, gusto ko lang mag-share. Heart to heart talk, gano'n. May sentimental vibes kasi 'yong pool, nadadala ako."
Bahagya akong napangiti.
This is why I think Ione is one of the strongest women I know.
Nagagawa pa rin niyang magpasaya sa kabila ng pinagdadaanan niya. Kung ako kaya ang nasa kalagayan niya, ano kayang mararamdaman ko? Magiging kagaya ko ba siya na nagagawa pa rin ngumiti?
"Thank you for confiding in me, Ione," I sincerely tell her.
"Wala 'yon," sabi niya at tinapik ang balikat ko. "Ikaw favorite classmate ko kaya may special pass ka sa'kin."
I smile, touched by what she has said.
"And I really want to thank all of you as well," sabi niya. "Simula nang maging parte ako ng Nameless Organization, parang mas lumaki pa 'yong pamilya ko. Before, I only had those three. But now I have all of you. May dalawang honor student, isang torpe, isang flower girl, isang pwedeng ninong sa kasal, isang hindi ko iimbitahin sa kasal at baka ubusin lahat ng dessert, tapos may dalawang classmate na pwede kopyahan, at the best talaga si Lucienne! Biruin mo 'yon, may artista akong kaibigan? Wow lang talaga."
I laugh again, and Ione is smiling warmly.
"I'm really grateful I get to be part of this team," she earnestly says. "I guess I just wanted all of you to know that."
There's something in her eyes that tells me how complex her feelings are, how deeply she cherishes our group. And I wonder how much emotion one can carry in her heart.
"C-Can we still be f-friends after all of this?" tanong niya, may nakakapanibagong hiya sa kanyang mukha.
"Ione, we're already friends."
"You really think of me as a friend?" she shyly asks. This is the first time I get to see this side of her. "Wala nang bawian, ha? Because I really think of you as my friend too."
"I am your friend," I reassure her and her eyes shine.
"T-Thank you, Celestine."
Yayakapin ko na sana si Ione kaya lang mabilis siyang umilag.
"Ano ka ba, basa ka kaya!"
At mas lalo ko lang siya sinubukan yakapin. Agad namang tumayo si Ione at tumakbo palayo pero hinabol ko siya at hindi tinantanan.
"'Wag kasi, Celestine! Tignan mo, itutulak kita sa pool! Bahala ka, wala kang Daimon Clyde ngayon. Walang abs na sasagip sa'yo!"
"What?!"
"Walang hot body na magliligtas sa'yo ngayon 'pag nalunod ka! Anong akala mo hahalikan din kita? Yuck!"
Para kaming mga sira na naghahabulan at nagtatawanan sa pool area hanggang sa mapagod kami. Mabuti nalang at walang nadulas sa amin, delikado pa naman. Ione didn't question me about Daimon Clyde, but her teasing is endless. Pero mas okay na rin ang sa kanya kumpara sa pang-aasar ni Lucienne. Kay Ione kasi ay nakakatawa, kay Lucienne nakakahiya. But both are equally making me blush.
It wasn't long before we decided to go back to our dormitory.
I didn't get to learn how to swim at all. Nahulog lang ako sa pool at ayon na. Para lang akong naglaro. Sayang lang ang pagkabasa ko. Ione offered to teach me but it was hopeless with just instructions. Hindi naman siya pwede lumublob at nakapantulog pa siya.
When we get back, she instantly falls to her bed. And when I check her after a few minutes, she's already fast asleep.
How can she sleep so quickly? Samantalang ako laging pahirapan makatulog.
Sa dormitory na ako naligo. Nothing beats warm water after a tiring day. While showering, I suddenly remember Daimon's bathroom. Maybe I should have stolen one of his soaps? He told me I smelled good after I took a bath at his place. Parang biglang nag-init ang buong katawan ko dahil sa naalala ko kaya nilamigan ko ang tubig sa shower.
What the heck am I thinking?!
Goodness, Celestine! It sounded like I wanted to please him by using the soap he liked the smell on me of. Just what is happening to me?
This is all his fault.
But no...
This is mine.
I was the one who kissed him that night back in my room. I'm the one who started this. The one who awakened something in him—in us. I am his stimulant, and he is mine. We're both drunk on each other and this is the result of holding our emotions back for too long.
I have known long ago that Daimon Clyde can ruin me.
I just didn't realize he can also make me whole.
•—⊶◈⊷—•
Something really has awakened in me, and I don't know what to think about this change. I can't tell exactly what it is, but it feels extremely overwhelming. Parang may kung ano sa akin na hindi ko makontrol at unti-unti nang umaapaw. Minsan ay hindi ko ito napapansin, pero madalas ay napapahawak ako sa magkabila kong braso at sinusubukang pakalmahin ang aking sarili.
Pagpasok namin nila Luna at Xaniel sa room ay isang bagay ang hindi namin inaasahang makita.
"She's here now, Tammy," sabi ng isang galing Sta. Cecilia. "What are you waiting for?"
Sa unahan ng classroom ay naroon ang mga estudyante mula Sta. Cecilia. May ilan na hawak sa magkabilang braso si Tammy na nanlilisik ang mga mata. Magulo ang kanyang buhok at tila may ilang pasa siya sa mukha. Sa itsura niya ngayon ay mukhang kontra siya sa ipinapagawa sa kanya ng mga kamag-aral niya.
So this how they have decided to make it up to me.
I figured they'd do something to reconcile with Immortal City, but this is not what I expected.
"Ano pang hinihintay mo?" singhal ng isa pa niyang kaklase habang ang isa ay tinuhod siya mula sa likuran.
Napangiwi si Tammy pero hindi pa rin niya pinakawalan ang pagmamatigas sa kanyang mukha. Ang ibang mga estudyante na narito na sa classroom ay tila libang na libang sa nangyayari. Hindi naman maipinta ang mukha ni Luna ngayon at si Xaniel ay diretso lang ang tingin at walang ekspresyon.
"S-Sorry, Celestine," sabi ni Tammy na halatang labag sa kanyang loob.
"Ayusin mo," sermon sa kanya ng kasama niya na mukhang leader nila.
Nanginginig ang mga labi ni Tammy, siguro ay sa pagpipigil ng kanyang galit. Pilit niyang inayos ang kanyang itsura bago muling humingi ng tawad. "S-Sorry."
Her teammates seem to be satisfied with her tone now and so their leader turns to face me. "You can do whatever you want with her, Celestine," she says. "We assure you, whatever happened yesterday will not happen again." She cocks her head to one side, motions for me to have my way with her schoolmate.
I take a deep breath and walk toward Tammy.
She looks at me with wary eyes, and I see her effort at trying not to appear nervous as she scowls in defiance.
All eyes are on me again as they await my next move.
"What are you sorry for?" I ask.
Tinignan siya ng sadya ng kanilang leader na parang sinasabi na sagutin agad ang tanong ko.
"F-For... p-pushing you in the pool y-yesterday."
I nod. "And?"
Agad na napatingin sa akin si Tammy na may tanong sa mga mata. Unti-unti rin naman siyang napayuko at umiwas ng tingin. "For d-deceiving you."
Ilang segundo ko siyang tinignan bago ako huminga ng malalim. "I forgive you."
Muli akong tinignan ni Tammy na mukhang nagulat sa narinig niya.
I hear groans of disapproval from my fellow classmates, disappointed that they won't get to watch some drama and action.
I meant what I said.
She's already suffering from what she has done. There's no point in hating her, feeding her more reason to hate me back and continue the cycle. I don't want hate to consume my heart. She doesn't deserve anything from me. Not even my hate.
"But what about Luna?" I ask, my voice firm and loud enough for everyone to hear. "Who's going to say sorry for insulting her? For laughing at her? For injuring her?"
Bigla silang lahat natahimik at nagtinginan sa isa't isa.
"Who's sorry?" I ask again, unyielding.
Silence fills the air.
Hindi rin nagtagal ay isa-isa na silang humingi ng tawad sa best friend ko na hindi naman malaman kung anong magiging reaksyon. Nakataas ang dalawang kamay ni Luna at may naiilang na ngiti sa kanyang bibig dahil sa natatanggap niyang atensyon.
I even hear Xaniel mutter a sorry of his own and I fight the urge to pinch the bridge of my nose.
When the commotion died down, I told them to release Tammy from their hold. She's looking at me again like she's confused why I just let her go, but I ignore her and proceed to guide Luna to her seat.
Umayos na rin ang iba ng pwesto at unti-unti na ulit nabubuhay ang karaniwang ingay ng classroom. Sa sarili kong pwesto ay saka ko lang nakita si Daimon nakahalumbaba at diretso ang tingin sa akin.
"Y-You were here?" the surprise in my voice is evident even when I try to hide it. "I didn't see you."
He smiles. "You weren't exactly looking for me. You didn't even glance my way."
I sit down and arrange my things, trying to avoid his gaze. I'm not sure why I'm suddenly so embarrassed.
"And even now, you still won't face me," he adds. "Don't worry, love, I won't lose control this time. As long as we don't get carried away with kissing—"
"Shh!" Agad akong napalingon sa kanya, magkasalubong ang kilay.
His smile widens. "That's better. Now I can see you clearly."
He gazes at me with admiration and I feel my cheeks heating up. I'm probably as red as a tomato again right now. "W-What?"
"Nothing," he warmly says, lightly shaking his head. His soft eyes are still fixated on mine. "You never fail to amaze me, Celestine."
•—⊶◈⊷—•
Daimon Clyde has been eating lunch with Nameless Organization since then. Noong una ay medyo nakakapanibago, pero ngayon ay mukhang nasasanay na ang mga kaibigan ko. Xaniel and Lucienne weren't a problem. Umpisa palang ay halos wala naman silang pakialam na kasabay namin si Daimon kumain. Van was second to get a hang of things. He's not exactly friendly, but he thinks it's cool that Daimon is strong. Si Riley naman ay mukhang okay lang rin, which is a bit of a shock since she's easily intimidated, and god knows how intimidating Daimon is. Siguro ay talagang panatag ang loob niya dahil sinabi ni Daimon na pro-protektahan niya kami. Kaoru is back to his usual self, but he's a little toned down when it comes to harassing me with his jokes. He knows better than to show that side of him in front of Daimon Clyde. Maloko man si Kaoru, pero isa siya sa mga pinaka perceptive sa amin. He knows he shouldn't mess around carelessly this time. The rest are back to their usual selves as well, at kung naiilang man sila sa sitwasyon namin ngayon, hindi nila ipinapakita. Especially regarding Zairus.
Ang pinaka ikinagulat ko ay si Kaven.
I just realized Daimon has beaten him badly before in the first duel, but Kaven doesn't seem to hold a grudge. When I asked him about it, he said it was inevitable. This is a competition and he expected it to happen sooner or later. He said it was his fault for not being able to defend himself from Daimon.
Now I'm seeing Kaven in a new light. He has also become a bit more considerate to me. Nag-improve na siya kumpara noon na halos hindi talaga ako kinakausap, o kung mag-uusap man kami ay sobrang ikli lang. Ngayon ay tumatagal na ng ilang minutes ang conversation namin. It's not much but I'll take it.
The change is probably because of what I did for Luna. Or maybe Kaven is just sucking up to me because I'm the best friend of the girl he's trying to date.
Kinagabihan ay pinag-usapan lang ulit namin ang tungkol sa competition. So far, we have two hints to help us solve the challenge. Ang una ay ang 60, 20, 20, 20, sunod ang 20. I think it stands for something and I have a gut feeling that all of us in the competition will be able to solve this one. Ang tanong nalang ay kung sino ang mauuna.
Matapos ang kaunting kwentuhan at kulitan, nagpasya na rin kami na matulog.
I feel strange whenever I sleep these days.
Isa pa ay lagi akong kinakapos ng tulog. Hindi lang dahil sa siren na gumigising sa amin tuwing 12:00 a.m. ang bumabagabag sa akin. May kung ano pa na hindi ko maipaliwanag.
It took a while but I managed to fell asleep. Ang hindi ko alam ay kung gaano katagal bago ako gisingin ng isang boses.
"You're really lucky to have me, you know?" rinig kong sabi ng isang babae.
Ramdam ko ang presensya niya sa tabi ko at pilit kong pinigilan na imulat ang aking mga mata. I really want to open my eyes to see who this woman is, pero baka bigla siyang mawala at mas lalo lang ako maiwan na naguguluhan.
"Don't forget I'm your real best friend," sabi niya, at ramdam ko ang marahang paghaplos niya sa aking buhok. "You should be thankful I'm not offended you replaced me so easily. Who else would stick around your stubborn ass aside from me? Not counting your obsessive lover, of course. He's another case of his own."
What is this?
Who is she?
How did she enter our dormitory so easily? Hindi ba siya naririnig ng mga kasama ko? Paano kung magising sila? Hindi ba siya natatakot na mahuli?
"How long will you make us wait?" she says. "Misael is all grown up now. He's doing great despite the circumstances."
A beat of silence.
"It's just as you said. He did learn to get along with the kid. In his own way at least."
What as she talking about? Why is she appearing now? I thought it was only Daimon. I thought it was just him and me.
What more should I question?
When will this end?
"They're waiting for you," she softly says. "We all are."
Another beat.
"Wake up soon, Celestine."
And I did.
I opened my eyes.
But when I look around our dormitory, the woman who was talking to me is nowhere in sight. There isn't a single trace of her left behind.
Tumayo ako at inikot ang madilim na kwarto para siguraduhin kung wala na talaga ang babaeng kumausap sa akin. Was it just my imagination? Is my mind playing tricks on me again? Was it just a dream?
But Ione is no longer in her bed and I hear voices outside our dormitory.
Dahan-dahan akong naglakad patungo sa pintuan at inilapit ang aking tainga rito.
"Did you ask her?" it's Drake's voice.
"H-Hindi pa, hindi ako nakahanap ng tyempo," boses naman ni Ione.
"We need to find it soon, Ione," sabi ni Julien. "You're the only one left who can get close to it. Malabo kami ni Drake. Kaoru tried but you know he can only go so far because Zairus is always around."
"A-Alam ko. Don't worry, I'll work on it."
"We still need to do this," sabi ni Kaoru na may pag-aalinlangan.
"Yes," Drake responds firmly. "We've been watching her for three years now, but we still haven't made any progress."
I'm slapped with betrayal as Kaoru says, "Let's finish the mission Sir Mitsuru gave us once and for all. We need to find what Lance Demafelix left behind."
•—⊶◈⊷—•
uyyy tanong naman kayo hahahaha. i've received messages rather than comments kaya sige, message me nalang rin for the q&a, but preferably comment it down hehe labyu ol pero tanong kayo pls hahaha
EDIT: this coming sat/sun/mon pa ang next chapter, so if you can't handle your curiosity, i suggest to reread the past events mwehehe. i am in love with foreshadowing, kaya umpisa pa lang may subtle nuances na sa behavior nila kaoru, ione, drake na hint sa mga pwedeng mangyari/dahilan kung bakit. julien is an exception since her natural demeanor doesn't give away anything.
TANONG KAYO PLS HAHAHA
—lia