Alexis' pov
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That was really unexpected.
I'm not exactly sure how to feel about it, I know he can't control how he feels about anybody, but I don't know how to go on like he never said that.
How could he like me?
I'm his bestfriend, I thought that was kinda impossible, I guess. Like, I always see it in the movies but I didn't expect it to actually happen to me. I would have never even guessed that was the reason he was gone, I mean, it's better than hearing that he's suicidal or something. I wouldn't know what to do of that happened.
In all honesty, I didn't actually have anything to do, I said gtg because I didn't know how to further our conversation. I just... it's weird. I don't know what to do. Again? I've been saying that every day recently I just noticed. I should start knowing soon, seeing as Vidcon is coming up. I really really don't wanna make things awkward. Last year with him was so much fun. If I ruin it because of this, my life would be over at that point.
Fuck, I don't know what to do. What's the point of telling him that I really don't like him in that way. If I tell him, he'll surely be shattered, but I feel like he already knows anyway.
I hate that I only see him as a friend, my brain just works that way. He'd be such a good boyfriend too, he's tall, compassionate, good to talk to, loyal, funny, handsome as fuck, caring, and just a good person in general. Anybody would be lucky to date him, but if I did, I'd feel weird about it. I've only ever seen him as my bestfriend, it would be like tainting that relationship with him if I ever caught feelings for him.
I think he already knows about how I feel, so I'll just keep quiet.
I have to get my mind off of this.
It was a cold day. Well, cold for my country. So I wasn't planning on going out, I'm spending most of the day inside. I sat down at my desk and decided to play Minecraft, although it wasn't for a stream, I do tend to find myself playing Minecraft for fun recently. It's very calming.
I'm working on building a house in the side of a mountain right now. I have to hollow out the side first, I'm not sure how big it'll be but if I want it to be bigger in the end I'll just dig out more.
Maybe I'll invite Aksel to play with me? Since we're back to being friends again, and I want us to go back to how we used to be. Fuck, it'll be so awkward though, I wish I could go back to when we were just friends.
Should I invite him? It might be fun.
I reached over to my Android and texted him.
Alex: hey u wanna play minecraft with me
I waited patiently for his answer, I soon found my foot tapping on the floor quickly.
Aksel: yeah sure what server u on
lol i though u were busy
Alex: uh ill send u the link
Soon he popped into sight on my screen.
Alex: should we discord call?
Aksel: yeah :p
I tapped onto his icon and called him.
The small discord theme played when he joined.
Then,
silence, long and drawn out until
"Uh, hey" he said, oh so beautifully. I missed his voice so much.
"H- hi" I stuttered, I sound so stupid.
"So, um what are you building?"
(Aksels pov)
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We played for at least 2 hours after that, like nothing happened. It was probably the best time I've had in the last few months. I'm so glad we're back to being friends, although it was incredibly awkward.
We finished building his house probably in record time, I had no idea he got so good. Last time I checked he hadn't played minecraft in years and now he's better than anyone, it's weird.
While we were talking, we discussed the dumb shit we did while we were apart. Of course, I didn't exactly explain the whole heartache I went through. That would be kinda rude to tell him that shit, he doesn't need to know all that. I talked about how I learned a bunch of new cooking and baking recipes from staying inside all day, I guess I just decided that I needed to do something. I told him about all the video ideas I had, but never did because I was stuck in that funk. I tried as hard as I could to not break down, it wasn't even too hard though, it felt just like when we were buddies again, when I was doing alright.
Alex seemed in high spirits, like he always is. He talked about so many fun things he had been doing, its funny. I had been feeling so absolutely horrible for all this time, and Alex was the same happy Alex. I'm happy that he's happy. The last thing I'd ever want is to drag him down with me. Especially as Vidcon approaches. It's actually perfect timing that we cleared things up mostly before we went to Vidcon, I'm not sure that I'd even go if we were still apart.
And I just know that it's going to be painful to see him with his gorgeous face, so cute and small when I hugged him last year, and hearing his laugh made me melt, it's incredible I didn't die. Every chance I got to be around him I took, I didn't want to waste a moment. He was just as amazing as he was online. At least last year I had my feelings all bottled up, it's definitely going to be worse now that he knows how I really feel about him, but at least we can still be friends. Thats all that matters.
Hopefully my dumb, shitty crush on him will wither away slowly, and I completely forget this ever happened. For now, I'm stuck thinking about him constantly.
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ok so basically
2K READS?? yall must be messing with me wtfffff WHAT
thank you so fucking much ! woahh😩💕💕
u guys are just the sweetest little babies i love all of u mfs thank u
u guys rly popped off doe😳💖