SHE came back the next day. It was late afternoon, almost evening when Legolas seen her quietly making her way under the archway, and into the entry way. She looked about her cautiously, as if checking to see if anyone else was there, and then with slight upturn on her lips, she came inside and sat down on the ground. She swung off a bag she carried on her back and unzipped it, removing a slender metal thing, and also a bound book of paper of some sort. Then something that looked like a pen. She opened the thin metal thing to reveal a bunch of buttons that had numbers and letters on them, and pushed a button. She gasped in surprise.
"What the hell? No battery? I just charged it," she shook her head and then closed it, and put it back into the bag, "Oh well, thank heavens I brought this too." She opened the bound book of paper, and after leafing through it to a blank page, took the pen and began writing. Legolas watched her for several long minutes before, becoming bored decided to go about the upper level checking things outside the windows, glancing down at her occasionally.
She said she would be quiet, and she was. Boringly so. Occasionally, she would look up from her work towards the trees she was seeing above her and watch the leaves shiver in the breeze, then go back to what she was doing.
"Well, this isn't very exciting." Legolas mumbled to himself after a couple of hours. He then started to wonder what she was writing, and let curiosity get the better of him, made his way around the upper balcony to behind her where he could look down, and with his elf sight clearly see what she was scribbling with such concentration.
It took him a moment or two to realize it was a narrative of some sort, and spent the remainder of his time between checking out the windows for trouble or wild animals that could come in and try and prey on her and them, while reading what she wrote. It filled the time. Usually he brought reading material, but with her there, he was afraid to be caught off his guard.
Four hours into it the person he really had no wish to see entered, glancing down at the girl below them.
"She keeps to her word?" Tauriel asked.
Legolas nodded, "She does. What do you need?"
"Nothing. The guard that was to come to join you on this watch has been called away on personal business. I am here in his stead".
"Personal business?" Legolas inquired with a tilt of his head.
Tauriel cleared her throat and gave him a wry smile, "His wife has gone into labor."
"Oh," was all Legolas said, then it hit him, "Oh? A new elf-child enters the world today?"
"It seems so. So, it is a good day, I suppose," she smiled then looked down at the girl.
He followed her gaze.
"What does she write?"
"A fictional story of some sort. It seems entertaining enough." Legolas replied looking down at the notepad to read the latest batch of paragraphs.
"So, you've hardly been bored I take it?" Tauriel asked as she made her way to his side.
Legolas shuffled uncomfortably when she stopped beside him and looked down at the paper below, and watched the girl turn the notepad over to start a new page. He didn't care to be around her at this time. Time had made it easier to deal with his feelings, however, it did not change them. In a sense, he had grown to resent them. She knew how he felt as well, and yet, she stood here, acting as if she did not. It made him feel a little bitter.
"No, I haven't," the words came out through clenched teeth. "You may return to your post. The likelihood of a riot happening here is non-existent."
"I'm afraid I cannot. Your father ordered me to come," she replied looking at him from the corner of her eye.
"I see," Legolas commented with a sigh. "Well, in that case I will leave you to it." He turned to leave when he heard her call out to him.
"Legolas!"
He turned to look at her his jaw clenched.
"Why are you leaving?"
He stared at her hard for several minutes before answering, "I have to give a report to my father. Besides, I figure he will want me to venture to the south borders once I give him news of the coyotes that have entered the area."
"I see," she bit her lip as she looked down at the girl who it seemed sensed the change in the atmosphere and was looking above her with wary eyes. She forced herself to calm before she replied, "I thought it was because you are still attempting to avoid me." She looked up after she said this.
Legolas gave her the same hard look that she recalled his father often did when he was either disappointed or upset about something, and depending on the situation, wanted either silence or answers. "And why, do you think, would I want to avoid you? Do you suppose I have any reason to?"
She merely nodded in understanding. She chanced to speak again as he was beginning to turn away once more, "If we are both to live in this place, we cannot always do without seeing the other. Can you not try to let things be as they once were – even remotely?"
He let out a disbelieving chuckle at that. "Seriously? You're really asking that of me? You knew how I felt about you. How I still do. Yet you turned away from it and chose to pursue the first male who made a pass at you. Tell me, have you forgotten Kili?" She looked away at that, her cheeks flushing with either anger or embarrassment, he wasn't sure.
"You know I have not." She whispered.
"Then how can you ask the same of me? I defied my father at a crucial moment for you. I protected you from his anger not only at the battle of Erebor, but many times after when Gollum escaped. I committed treason for you. I was lucky he welcomed me back with open arms after that. As I said, you had to be aware how much I..." his voice which had been growing steadily louder softened as he practically choked on the words, "love you. I would have died for you Tauriel. I still would. Trust me, I tried to stop caring for you as much as I did – and still do, but I cannot. I tried becoming enthralled with other elves, even at one time the daughters of men just to get dismiss you from my heart. But it will not have it. It only made it worse. The only way I have learned to deal with this is by not seeing you. You of all people should understand that."
"I knew you cared for me. I just didn't understand how deeply until Erebor. By then it was too late. I know I had never pledged myself to him... but I did love him."
"I do not wish to hear about your broken heart at this time. You could have pledged yourself to me afterwards... Our union would have healed the wound he left you to some degree. You had, or at least I thought you had, cared for me to, even if it was not with the same passion as you felt for that dwarf." Legolas angrily stated.
"I could not!" Tauriel shouted at him.
"What? How come? Explain to me why if you think it will matter."
"Do you not believe I thought of that? Do you not think I originally was going to let myself fall as much in love with you as you were with me had it not been for the warning in my mind that had been affirmed by your father only shortly before I truly met Kili?" Tauriel said with passionate pleas.
"If you are referring to my father denying you permission before the Battle of the Five Armies, then I already know of it, and his real reasons why. None of them had to do with you being, what did you refer to yourself as? 'A lowly Silvan elf'," Legolas shot back at her with an expression on his face that she had rarely seen before, a look of that bordered on hatred and disgust. But she was also taken aback by his words.
"How do you know of it?"
"You were not the only one who had a conversation with my father that day regarding my feelings for you."
"And pray, tell me," she stated now just as angered as he was and her voice starting to echo about the room, "what were his real reasons for denying his beloved son the pick of his heart other than the senseless prejudices he had let settle in his soul at the time?"
Legolas scoffed, "That was always the problem with you. You always think you know everything about people. Why or even how they think and believe the way they do. Why they do certain things. My father was never the racist bigot you and your choice of friends in the dungeons would like to believe him to be. You did not even understand why he could not speak of my mother's death until you experienced the grief of it yourself!" He had crossed the room during this speech and was now trespassing in her personal space, "My father did not want me to pledge myself to you not because he thought you were below me, or even him, but simply because you were so young, hot-tempered, and too impulsive! You were so full of anger and a lust for revenge over not only your dead parents, and once Kili came into the picture, chasing down his aggressors, that you did not know what actual love was until you lost it!"
She gasped in shock and hurt over the words he was saying. She wanted him to stop and he knew it, but he couldn't. It was like a breech in a dam – it was flooding out of him now.
"In short, he didn't want me to pledge myself to you because you weren't ready to pledge yourself to anyone yet. Though many centuries old you did not have any wisdom of the world. You knew nothing! He wanted me to wait until you were older. Until the blood-lust that filled your soul had left you. Until you had become more yourself - the person I watched my father raise, before I offered my love to you. It had nothing to do with your humble origins. Do not ever speak to me of my father's true intentions about anything, until you know the full truth Tauriel! Never! Now, if you'll excuse me. I have a report to give to my father, your 'ill-tempered king' as you and your friends like to call him. Yes, I know they call him that. Just as I know they mock me for ever having loved you."
Tears were falling from her eyes at this point and he wanted nothing more than apologize, but he refused to. It all needed to be said, and there was one thing having led his own clan of elves once had taught him, it was when to walk away and remain silent.
He took his leave of her, hearing the heaving breaths of sobs she was giving out behind him as he turned away.
~~*~~
Cassandra was looking about her wildly and beginning to collect her things due to the change in atmosphere around her. It had gone from a melancholy, yet curious feeling about her, to a seething angry presence that she could only liken to a broken heart crying out in anguish after being pinned down with years of resolute resignation. Then it was gone and filled with only grief... a pain that seemed to be also be from years of denied release. When she packed up her things, it was like the presence was alarmed and did not want her leave. So, feeling awkward, she sat back down, unpacked once more, and continued to write.
She fed into the atmosphere about her which was beautiful and mournful, filing the portion of it away for a later part of her book. She stayed until dusk, then repacked, and for some reason, she felt as if she should at least partially bow in farewell.
"I will return tomorrow if I can. Will that be okay?" she asked.
There seemed to be a moment of mirth on the wind, then what felt like confirmation. She took it as a sign that she was still welcome, and whatever had pissed off the... whatever it was did not seem to consider her the cause of it. She was glad for it. She needed this place, probably right now more than ever.
When she made her way back to the trail, she glanced behind her at the shape of the archway and tower, it seemed as if there was more to it in the dwindling light. As if it were growing and taking shape, lights appeared to be popping on like wil-o-wisps among the branches. Her brow furrowed in puzzlement, and she decided it was best if she left. However, it awakened a new curiosity in her regarding the tower's true origins, or at least its legends; why the park was named "The Grey Havens of Lasgalen" as well. No one really knew that information, and what on earth did the word, "Lasgalen" mean anyway? She decided to take a break from typing up her days chapters that night and researching the park and the tower.
~~*~~
Thranduil heard Legolas' soft steps enter the room. He stopped wordlessly in front of him and waited for him to speak.
"I figured that I would have the pleasure of your company today. Only I expected it to be sooner, considering who I was forced to send in Itshtel's wake." Thranduil looked up from the papers he was going over, reports of portions of the palace that needed maintenance.
"Why did you send her? You know, I have no desire to see her at this time," Legolas asked attempting very clearly to hide a tone of irritation in his voice.
"I knew it would bring you to me. Can a father not wish to see his son on occasion?" Thranduil asked, standing with a teasing smile.
Legolas chuckled at that, "If that is the case father, all you had to do was send for me. You know I would have come."
Thranduil let out his own laugh at this, something he honestly did little of the last few centuries. "Do you have anything to report?"
"Yes, the humans are having issues with the trails to the east due to the overgrowth of the nightshade vines and the storms knocking down the older trees. Do you wish us to help move them?"
"Are they posing any threat or inconvenience to our own people?" Thranduil asked cocking his head to the side.
"Of course not," Legolas said with a smile.
"Then the answer would be 'no'. Let the humans take care of it themselves. What else?"
"There was a pack of coyotes spotted in the south borders. Needless to say, they do pose a threat to both elf and human alike."
"I see. Have they attacked any person, elf or human as of yet? Or are they settling for the prey of the forest for now?" Thranduil inquired, a serious look creeping in his eyes. Coyotes were a serious ever increasing problem. It used to be the wild cats and wolves, but they at least knew who to leave alone; they had an internal instinct to respect the elves for the guardians they were. Coyotes however, lacked this instinct. They seemed to be not necessarily a creature of darkness like wargs and such, but desperate, hungery, and full of anger. They took any animal they could bring down. With the elves starting to repopulate their regions since man had finally decided to start attempting to save some of the forests (more out of personal desire to survive than actually caring he assumed), it had grown safer for them to do so.
"Not yet, but I fear it is only a matter of time," Legolas replied grimly. "If you wish I can go and drive them off with a small party of elves."
Thranduil nodded in understanding. He looked his son over briefly, noting the tinge of red in his cheeks and a slight redness to his eyes. Had he and Tauriel had a rowel? He knew it would happen eventually, he just wished there was some way he could spare his son the pain of seeing Tauriel again had caused. Perhaps he had been wrong to send her.
"That would perhaps be for the best," he said sitting back down in his chair thoughtfully. Coyotes of all things... "Anything else?"
"Well," an amused smirk crossed his son's face, "not that it's of any real concern, but the girl came back."
Thranduil attempted to act uninterested, and as if he didn't know which one Legolas was referring to, "I see. Which girl would that be? Many come here."
"Don't try and be coy father. At least, not with me. You know which one I am referring to."
"Very well," Thranduil threw his hands out to his sides, palms up, in a mock defeated gesture, "you know me all too well, son. So, did she keep her promises?"
"She did."
"And out of curiosity, did you learn what 'work' it was that she was referring to, when she petitioned for leave to come here?" Thranduil questioned raising his eyebrows.
"She is a writer, it appears," Legolas replied with a look of amusement.
Thranduil looked on with feigned disinterest, "Why does that seem to amuse you?"
"Well, I wouldn't consider the Halls of Lisilelena a very comforting atmosphere to write in."
He flinched at the sound of his wife's name involuntarily. Legolas must have seen it for he immediately apologized, "Forgive me, I was not mocking it. Just it is steeped in mournful memory quite often."
Thranduil looked away for a moment to gather his emotions in place, "I did not think you were mocking it my son. It's just, as with you, at times it is easier for me to not see or hear of the object of my discord. The memories I have of your mother has been heavy on my mind the last day or so. I know not why," he looked up at his son, after saying those words in almost a whisper, "We are very alike my child, and I do hope against hope, the hurt of your heart will one day be mended."
Legolas took his turn at turning away, and looking back, "I gave up hope for that many ages ago. It is my hope that one day I may at least meet someone else who will ease the pain she brings upon me, and provide you with a grandchild."
Thranduil breathed in deeply before releasing it, and speaking, "I am in no hurry to have a grandchild. I merely wish for you to be happy, as any parent would."
"Forgive me. I just know it was...," Legolas hesitated before continuing, "a wish of my mother."
Thranduil's mouth tightened into a thin line for a brief moment, "Yes, it was. As for Tauriel, I would not totally give up yet." Legolas looked at him through narrowed, puzzled eyes. Thranduil decided to not elaborate on his statement, his son would find out soon enough he imagined. He had seen it in the mirror when he looked into his son's future.
He chose to move on to the more pressing matter of the coyote pack, "Take a band of elves, however many you believe you will need, and go south in pursuit of the coyotes. Kill if you must, just be careful to not be seen or heard if you do, especially at night. My spells for hiding us sometimes fail then, especially if there are Faeries in the area. If any of them stray from the pack, as they have been known to do, and you are unable to locate it, send word. I'll send our outside contacts out to inform the human's game warden. Return once you have driven them out."
Legolas made a sound of disgust, "Faeries? I do hope I will not meet any of their kind on our path."
Thranduil nodded in agreement, "So do I, Legolas. But with the Elves having diminished, and this being the land they called home first, their powers are stronger here, and numbers are far more than ours. They are a necessary evil. Not all are malicious, especially to our kind, but some do not pay heed to the rules of the Valinor as we do. The Grey Havens, beautiful as they are, still have their dangers, and unfortunately, their race is one of them. Just remain wary of any women or men that fit their description, or who offer food and drink in odd places as they at times throw a glamour to hide their identities."
"I understand," Legolas replied, then bowing with hand to his heart then outstretched as was their custom, bid his father farewell.
"Please be safe, my beloved one," Thranduil whispered, knowing his son would not hear it.
~~*~~
"Where the fuck have you been?" Josh snarled once Cassandra got out of the car. Apparently, he had been waiting for her in his truck. "I've been here for over 20 minutes waiting on your fat ass to get here! Why the hell isn't your phone on? I've been calling non-stop since I got here! I thought you were in a car wreck or something!"
During this time period, they had climbed the outdoor stairwell to her the floor of her apartment, and the last statement he shouted was right in front of her neighbor's door.
She spun around glaring, "Can you keep it down until we get inside? Also, why the hell are you talking about my 'fat ass' anyway? You're still fucking me every chance you get, so you must obviously like it."
His mouth dropped open, and he was speechless long enough for her to get to her door, unlock it and go inside. She was tempted to slam it on him before he stepped in but decided not to go that far. There was a time she would have years ago when Ron was still alive. But now, she just wanted to deflate the situation, get her dinner, and go to bed. Hopefully, he'll leave without wanting some... nookie. She knew he probably did. Food and sex were generally the only things he ever came over for anymore, and the one usually led to the other.
Lately, she wondered every time she was with him why she was. She wasn't in love with him. She cared about him. But she also cared about her cat who was dozing on her armchair in the living room. Each time, a solid answer never entered her mind as to why she didn't just break up with him, aside from the facts that she was tired, lonely, and not rail thin like she once was. Fucking society, and their standards for beauty these days. Josh was the first guy she had been genuinely attracted to in years that liked her too, and he wanted her despite however fat and little she took care of her appearance nowadays. She mused that it was clinging to all of that which made her stay. Lame, but she could not come up with anything else.
"Yeah, I do like it," he said with a smirk and coming behind her grabbing a handful of cheek on her backside.
She closed her eyes not with arousal but exasperation.
"Just freaking call or something next time. I thought you were dead or in the hospital or something!" he exclaimed. It honestly looked like he was worried to her. It would seem sweet to her if she didn't suspect it to be a prelude to something else. "Where the hell were you anyway?"
"I was at the park," she mumbled as she went to the kitchen and began pulling out a skillet and a pot.
"The park? What the fuck for?"
"I just wanted to walk, and write somewhere quiet. That's all."
"Well, you could write here," he gestured to the room around him, "Or at my place. Besides if you called and said you were going there, I would have come too."
He apparently wasn't catching the hint that she wanted to be alone, "I know. I'm sorry. I just wanted some time to myself. Besides, walking is good for losing weight."
He rolled his eyes and shook his head, then went over to the couch and flopped down. "I have no idea what to do with you sometimes."
"Feeling's mutual," she mumbled through gritted teeth, still annoyed by his earlier outburst, and turned the burners on the stove.
~~*~~
"It seems I am to have very little peace today. What do you need Tauriel?" Thranduil asked turning from his window overlooking the path and river that ran alongside it.
Tauriel stepped into view, bowing her head, then looking up, "I was wondering if I could go south. Legolas told me there is a pack of coyotes..."
Thranduil interrupted, "Legolas has already taken an armed band of elves in the southern direction to hunt for them. I'm afraid I will need you to stay here."
She sighed, bit her lip, and nodded as she spoke, "I understand, sir." She lingered for a moment. She wanted to ask him if what Legolas told her was true regarding his true reasons for originally denying her permission to bind herself to Legolas. She knew it was honestly. Legolas never mislead her. Plus, she and the king had come to some understandings about why he was the way he was. Why he dealt with certain situations in the manner he chose to. But in all these ages of the world that had passed since the last battle for Middle Earthhad passed, he never recanted his dismissal of her being able to care for Legolas in more than a platonic way. Yes, Kili came along at just the right time. But now and then, she was forced to try and consider just how deep her love for that dwarf was. It pained her terribly, his loss. But perhaps not to the depths it should. Or maybe time had just began to heal it enough for her to move on? For her kind pledging themselves (or as the humans called it, becoming engaged) was the act that bound their fates together. The union of bodies was what sealed it and wedded them.
He had since returned to staring out the window, ignoring her presence for a long time. She was turning to leave when he spoke, "What else do you require Tauriel?"
She bit her lip again, suddenly nervous. All resolve to ask had left her, and she merely bowed, "Nothing, sir. May I go now?"
He waved a hand in dismissal, not looking at her. She eyed him once more before turning and walking away.
Thranduil looked on into the night restless. It had been years since he had felt this way. It felt as if there was something in the air. Something he could not place. Perhaps he should journey to see Galadriel or Elrond? Whatever it was, it felt as if something was going to happen. It wasn't an ill feeling, just one that made him feel anxious nonetheless.
"Lisilelena," he whispered into the night gazing at the moonlit river below, "how many centuries has it been since I heard your name spoken aloud? How many?"