Hazel stared at the stick with intense eyes.
"Hazel!" she heard called from the kitchen and her eyes widened in shock and horror. Hawk wasn't supposed to be home for another two hours.
"Hey!" she yelled back, her voice cracking slightly, waving the stick as if that would bring results faster, "you're home early."
"Yeah, I wanted to see my-" he opened the bathroom door and his voice trailed off on the word 'girl.'
Hazel could only imagine what she looked like, standing there in his old shirt and her underwear and a pregnancy test in her hand. Her eyes must have been wide and slightly crazed, her hair was definitely wild, and she was biting her lip nervously.
"Hey, Hawk," she whispered.
His eyes shot between the pregnancy test, her eyes, and her exposed legs as if he wasn't sure what to deal with first. He settled on the test.
"Is that what it looks like?" he asked, his voice low and gravelly.
She nodded slowly.
Hawk was silent for several seconds, just staring at her.
"Well," he said, his voice even deeper and rougher, "what does it say?"
She slowly lowered her eyes to the test, and then closed them just as slowly.
"Baby," he said almost desperately,his voice cracking as he took a step forward, "what does it say?"
She looked up, her eyes glazed with tears, a few spilling over.
"It's positive."
Hawk froze then unfroze, his eyes going all warm as he came forward and engulfed Hazel in a bear hug.
"I'm going to be a daddy," he choked out.
Now it was Hazel's turn to freeze.
"What?" she whispered, pulling back.
"What?" Hawk repeated, brushing the tears off of her face.
"Hawk, we can't...I mean...I can't...keep it," Hazel said with wide eyes.
Hawk took an automatic step back, his head tilted almost dangerously.
"What the fuck do you mean we can't keep it?" he asked in a deadly calm voice.
"I'm still in high school! I literally just turned eighteen, and I-I...fuck, Hawk, I'm not ready to become a fucking mom!" she said, her arms out to her sides in exasperation.
"That's my fucking kid in you, Hazel!" Hawk yelled.
"It's my body!" she shouted back.
"You can't just take my baby away from me," Hawk said, pointing a finger at her and taking a step forward. She rolled her eyes.
"Jesus, Hawk, five minutes ago you didn't even know you had a kid," Hazel spat.
"So what! When I met you, it took me less than a day for me to know that I wanted you, bad," he pointed out.
"That's different," she said, shrugging.
"Damn straight it is. Totally different. You were a girl I met on the plane, this is my kid."
Hazel clenched her jaw in frustration and turned her head to the side.
"You know what," she said, clearing her throat, "we don't even know for sure if I'm pregnant, all right? These tests aren't always accurate so..."
she trailed off and Hawk nodded his agreement.
"Fine, come on."
"You're not pregnant."
Hazel closed her eyes in relief and Hawks face remained expressionless.
Hazel intently listened to the doctor talk about hormones and periods and false pregnancies and a bunch of other shit, but Hawk was inside his own head.
He had been ready to have a child with this girl. He had been ready to give her a ring, marry her on the spot, and raise her fucking kid.
He's such a piece of shit.
She deserves so much better than him, so much better. She could throw a rock in the street and come up with three guys who would be better for her than him. Not only was he screwed up in the head, but he was crass, blunt, he cussed a lot, and he was a fighter for a living. One day, he could sustain a serious injury and she would be left with nothing but heartbreak, regret, and possibly a kid.
Fuck, he couldn't do that to her.
He couldn't...he couldn't stay with her. She could do so much better, she deserved so much fucking better.
He had to give her better.
But...he knew she wouldn't let him. If he tried to tell her, to make her see the fucking truth, she would defend him. She saw so much good in him because she was such a good person.
She could do so much better.
He had to lie to her. Tell her, that he didn't want her anymore. That he couldn't take the kind of commitment he felt compelled to give her, that he just didn't feel it anymore. That-that she needed to move on and find someone new...fuck, find someone new.
He couldn't do this.
He had to do this.
Jesus, it would break her fucking heart.
Not for long, though. Soon, she would get over him, move on, find somebody new...fuck, she would find somebody new.
She. Would. Find. Someone. New.
Let her go Hawk. Fucking let her go, man, you can do it. You need to do it because you fucking love her, all right? You love her more than anything, and you can't let your possessiveness and jealousy and shit ton of caveman instincts get in the way of her being in a happy, healthy...relationship.
With someone else.
Fuck.