hello! Been feeling a little discouraged lately so it's hard to write sometimes.
Hope you're enjoying!
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"W-what?" I stutter out, still not believing what I'm hearing.
"Get. Out. Of. The. Car." He says slowly with hatred laced all around those words.
"You are really going to kick me out of the car?" I bring my arms up and smack them down on the arm rest feeling defeated by his authority.
"What? I'm not kicking you out of the car. Get in the passenger seat, I'm not letting you drive anymore. You're too much of a liability." He scrunches his face looking at me like I'm crazy. "Geeze Brynn, I may be a Mob Boss but I'm not a psychopath." He steps out of the passenger side making sure there aren't any cars coming his way before getting out.
I feel this slight pain in my chest as I got out of the driver side. I've never felt this pain before and I can't describe it. It's almost like I just lost something I never had. It's like a pain you feel when you're on social media and see a sad puppy dog not getting adopted, because you know you can't do anything to help them. Except that this pain won't go away when I scroll passed it.
We switched seats in a matter of a minute cause I may have dragged my feet to the other side of the car. I slumped in the passenger seat of the car while breathing out a long huff. This whole time I've been on the break of tears and nothing has fallen yet. I'm trying really hard not to let that dam break so the salty water doesn't start to flow down my face like Niagara Falls.
I hear the engine fire up but I keep my gaze on the window and the world outside of it. Honestly, I'm glad he took over driving cause if I had to drive back the house I'd probably run us off the road.
The car jerks forward as I hear the gears grinding in the car. He isn't as experienced as he would like for me to know with a stick shift, I thought. I wince at the sound and look over to his hand trying to man handle the gear shift.
"You're grinding the gears." I said as quiet as a mouse.
"I'm not grinding SHIT." He bursts out at me. It startles me and I just fall silent after that.
We get on the main road and our conversation is obsolete. I wanted to say that I don't want to leave so many times but my pride is too great for me to relinquish that information. I could see his grip on the steering wheel tighten from the corner of my eye causing his knuckles to turn white. I've pissed him off royally.
I mean, everything I've said is true. It would be one thing if I lied about him causing all of these problems. I'm no liar though.
My hands are clammy in my lap as I fidget with my fingers. I feel my anxiety growing in the pit of my stomach as we quickly approach the turn to get on the gravel highway they call a driveway. This is it, I'm finally leaving after being here for a whole month.
I feel the car adjust as the wheels hit the gravel. Mauro is taking his time down the driveway probably to insure no rocks hit his precious car. I look out the window and see the beautiful white house I've taken a liking to slowly make its way in my vision. The pain in my chest tightening the closer we get. I hope this pain goes away soon.
I see the black Jaguar Zito and Luca took to get food parked up front. They must of just got home. Then the unthinkable happened in my chest, the pain got worse because I soon realize I'm leaving Zito, Luca, and Enzo. They were there for me when I was at my lowest. I was the only girl in that house most of the time, except for the occasional hoe, Mia included. They took me under their wings and made me feel welcomed. What kind of thanks is it that I'm leaving abruptly and out of the blue?
I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't realize we arrived at the house and Mauro already left the car. I took one last look at the dream car I was so blessed to drive and smiled to myself knowing my father would be so proud. I get out of the car hearing the gravel under my converse crunching as I took a step. I remember that feeling when I first came here, hoping out of the Jaguar and booking it. I looked over to the already landscaped shrub I fell into after running into the wall of the house. It was perfectly healed from my body imprint I left on it.
I start to make my way up the stairs to the entrance of the ginormous house taking in every characteristic that I fell in love with. The black shutters and the big black doors with the white columns, it was starting to feel like a home to me but I couldn't let Mauro know that after all the crap I had just said in the car.
As I walk through the entrance seeing the big crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling, I couldn't help but feel disappointed to never see it fall on the ground, smashing into millions of pieces. I walk up the million stairs towards my bedroom and the only thing I can hear is my heartbeat ringing in my ears.
My yellow caution taped door starts to make its way into my vision as the stinging of tears start to form in my eyes. With a shaky hand I open my door and feel the darkness in my chest grow immensely as I gaze at my perfect room that Enzo helped me design to make me feel better about being apart of the mafia. The room I've dreamt of having since I was a little girl. My own space to get away and be myself.
It's sad you know? I've been here for a month to only go on one bust. The one and only bust that kicks me out of the Beneveti Mafia. I laugh to myself. Who gets kicked out of the damn mafia? Me. That's who. I look at the time and see it's around 7:30p.m.
This day is arguably the longest day of my life. Longer than any day at school, work, even than my fathers funeral...
I grab the black bag that was left on the bed. I'm guessing from Mauro, as a sign to get my shit and get out as fast as possible.
"Hey Brynn! How was the joy ride?" Soon the smell of McDonalds French fries engulf my senses when I realize Zito is standing against my door frame munching on fries. All I could do was look at him with this doe eyed look on my face. How am I suppose to tell him?
"Uhh...uh didn't go as I planned." I managed to get out as I grab my skinny jeans from the dresser and plop them into the duffel bag.
"What are you packing for? Have you and Mauro already confesses each others undying love and going on a honeymoon?" He smirks looking down at the fries in his hand.
"He kicked me out." I said quietly stopping and staring down at my bag filled with my stuff.
I start to hear coughing and choking in front of me. "W-What?! He kicked you out?" Zito's voice raises in between coughs. "He can't do that! What about the code? Doesn't he think you'd squeal about where we are?" He rambles on as I see a big figure walk behind Zito.
"I wish she would squeal." His voice boomed in the hallway to my room causing both Zito and I to straighten up. Mauro stood there with a cold look on his face and looks down at Zito. "You're going to drive her back to where she came from. Got it?" He pokes Zito's chest with his strong finger.
"B-But boss. Can't we talk about this? She doesn't really have to leave does she?" He practically begs for my stay.
"NO!" His voice is strong with anger. "My decision is final. I don't want her here anymore. She's not apart of this family and never will be." He looks over Zito's shoulder to make eye contact with me. His eyes are filled with hatred and fury. I couldn't stop looking into his eyes, the pain in my chest intensifying with the words he says.
"I-I wouldn't tell anyone about anything." I mustered out with a weak voice.
"Of course you won't. If you did I'd kill you." His voice slices through the air like a knife towards my heart. I have forgotten my place here. I got too comfortable with his smirks and subtle comments. I thought I was different for a split moment when clearly I'm like every other man who works for him
"Right." I say disappointed in his answer.
It's so weird. This whole month the guys have been joking around saying Mauro has taken a liking to me. I mean I never believed them, but I had this very small, very tiny ounce of hope he did. I look at Mauro and I see strength. I like that. I like someone who will never allow anyone to fuck with them. He's a challenge to me, an obstacle to get to know and I took it but failed miserably because of my big mouth.
He walks away from the doorway without another word, leaving Zito and I there alone. I guess thats my goodbye from him.
I finish up packing all my stuff, zip up the duffle bag, and throw it over my shoulder. "Come on Zito. Let's go." I patted his shoulder as I pass by him walking out of my room. I stop mid step and take one last look of my perfect room before I leave. I just let out one last sigh and except my fate of never seeing it again.
As I walk down the stairs, I see Luca and Enzo standing next to the door waiting for me. No, they can't do this to me when I'm about to leave. I was hoping to do an Irish goodbye and just deuce out. (No pun intended) I cracked a small smile at them as I see Enzo trying his hardest not to cry and Luca with his arms crossed showing off his muscles.
"I'm sorry guys." I said as I reached the end of the staircase and walked up to the two men waiting for me. "Leave it to me to be kicked out of the mafia that leaves no survivors, right?" I put my hands up laughing a little while shrugging my shoulders. Luca and Enzo did not seem amused by my humor.
"We're gonna miss you Brynn." Luca says finally pulling me into a big bear hug. I feel his strong arms squeeze hard around my shoulders and smell his familiar cologne. This hurts. I hate saying goodbyes because they linger in your soul, longing and missing the people who should be with you. I feel my head pounding from how hard I'm holding back my tears. I pull away from the bone crushing hug and take a deep breath before I face the guy who I met first in this whole organization.
I can see Enzo's bloodshot eyes glistening in the chandelier light. His nose is running a little bit indicating that he was crying at one point but it now trying to hold back his emotions. His black hair is flopping down in front of his face hiding his immense sadness.
"Don't do this to me Enzo." I say swallowing the knot in my throat. This man has been nothing but a father figure to me, especially when I needed him most. He has such a special place in my heart and will always hold that place. He is the only one in this house who knows about my father, the things I've been through, and never made me feel less than what I was. "You will always have a place in my heart Enzo. I hope you know that." I hold onto his hand with both of mine.
He pulls me into a hug that feels like it lasted a life time. I could of lived the rest of my life with his arms around me knowing I would be safe because he would protect me with everything he's got. In one month, I have grown to love someone as if they have been in my life forever, like he is my father. It felt like he picked up where my father left off after he passed away. "I hope to see you again, Enzo." My voice is muffled through his shirt since my face is smushed up against his chest.
"You know I will always be looking after you, no matter what." He grabs my shoulders to pull me out of the hug. "You have been such a light in my life that pulled me out of a dark place, little one."
Little one. Him calling me the nickname he gave me causes the dam to finally break from my eyes and Niagara decides to fall down my face.
"Enzo, please don't let me go." I whisper in his chest as I fall back into his arms. I can't let go of another father figure in my life. My sobs are so loud at this point I'm sure everyone has heard me in the house. I'm full on ugly crying at this point.
"I'll never let you go Brynn. I promise." He hugs me tighter which causes me to cry harder.
"Come on Brynn. We probably should get going since it's getting dark." Zito places a hand on my back for comfort.
I pull myself together before I let go of Enzo and feel the cold from his missing body heat. I nod my head and pick up my bag. I look behind me one last time at the people who mean more to me than practically anyone has in my life.
Something catches my eye and I see up in the very corner of the atrium on top of the stairs is Mauro watching me leave. Unbelievable. I chuckle in my throat at the scene I'm looking at. Mauro has his arms crossed with a straight look on his face. I make eye contact with him and stare for a couple seconds taking in the moment we're having. This guy has some fucking nerve to watch me leave. The anger inside me builds up to a boiling point and I roll my eyes at him. As I leave I'm just about to step out of the door and I hold up my middle finger directed towards Mauro. He sees my friendly gesture and I see him laugh to himself while shaking his head.
Fuck you Mauro Beneveti.
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This chapter was hard to write but I'm glad I finally finished it. I almost cried writing the Enzo and Brynn part. Can you tell I have daddy issues? lol
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