Richie
Thursday, April 18
"You guys took your sweet ass time!" I hop into the cargo, squeezing in between Stan and Eddie, "I swear I was about to beat my dad to a fucking pulp."
Both Eddie and Stan scoff. I look at them both, confused, "What!?"
They look at me, both of their eyebrows raised, the truck starting off to Bills, "You always say that. But everytime you're the one the shows up at my house to clean you up, not your dad."
I shake my head, "Whatever." I know they're right I just wish they weren't.
I can beat up any boy in my grade and higher, but when it comes to my dad, I can't. I freeze up, and i'm scared. All he is, is a drunk bastard.
Someone nudges my shoulder. I look down, "What are you going to do about Breland? Are you still going to try with her? She's kinda weird, and damaged."
I raise my eyebrows, "What do you mean? Have you not noticed that, we're all are damaged, Eds."
He shrugs, "I don't know, she kinda exploded yesterday. Like big time exploded."
We hear a scoff, and both look to Stan, "She was just having a bad day, okay."
I looked at him intrigued, "What do you mean? How would you know?"
He crosses his arms, "Well it was obvious that she didn't want to hang out with people. And that she wasn't used to... well everything. Pushing her into something she wasn't comfortable with and not having a second to calm down can cause someone to go crazy."
I shake my head, not really caring, "I'm still going to try, you know I never back down from a challenge. I'll get this girl in my bed and to fall in love with me in no time."
Eddie laughs, "You got rejected so hard yesterday. It's obvious that she's not going to give you a chance." I cross my arms, a smirk on my face, "Oh, we'll see about that."
Bill Denbroughs' house
"God! What's taking him so long!" I push open the little window, squirming into the truck, "What are you-" I wrap my hands around the steering wheel steadying myself.
*Beep* *Beep*
"Come on! Let's go!" My hands push on the horn, trying to get Bill to hurry up.
I feel hands grip my shirt, "Get the fuck back here! Sit down!" Stan drags me back, causing me to hit my head on the top of the window. I rub my head, "Ow, fucker."
He rolls his eyes at me, crossing his arms. I stick my tongue out, but he pays no attention to me.
He never takes this long, he's usually dying to get out of his house. I wonder if he's okay?
My leg starts to bounce, as I start to get really antsy.
Waiting and being patient is not one of my strong suits, "Calm down Richie, he'll be out soon, you just have to wait a little."
Eddie places his small hand on my knee, stopping it from moving, "It's so boring waiting though." I place my hand over his, as he chuckles, "Well try." He squeezes my hand, I rest my head on his tiny shoulders, my neck straining a bit.
I feel Eddie move from under me, "Look, he's coming out right now."
My head shots up, my eyes landing on Billy boy standing in his doorway waving. I stand up, jumping out of the cargo, "Fucking finally! Hurry up, let's get moving!"
He holds his hand up, looking back into his house. What is he doing? Saying bye to mommy and daddy.
He nods his head looking back to us, heading our way, "Come on man fast-"
Bre? The girl i'm trying to get with is walking right out of my 'rival's' house.
She closes his front door, walking over to Bill. She stops him, her hand gripping his arm. They're talking about something I can't hear.
Bill, nods his head with a smile on his face.
Is he trying to make this game impossible? It's already hard to do this with a girl that's fucking different from every other girl. She's fucking impossible.
They part from each other, and Bill walks over to us, Breland walks away from us towards the direction of school. My arms rise to my sides, my mouth agape and eyebrows raised.
He looks at me confused, "What?"
"Hello! How am I going to get into this girls pants if you're already doing that yourself!?" He rolls his eyes, walking past me.
I turn around as he pushes himself up and into the cargo, "I wasn't sleeping with her... well I was-"
My mouth falls a gap and as he looks back, he brakes out into laughter. He places his bag down, and reaches his arm towards me, "She was sleeping over, okay. That all that happened, we didn't have sex. This deal is hard enough for you, what's the point of making it harder?"
I grab his hand, my feet lifting off the ground, landing into the cargo.
I sit down by Eddie, Bill doing the same, but sitting by Stan, "How do I know you're not lying?"
I hear a groan come from Eddie, "Just believe him Rich."
Eddie looks into the window, "We're ready to go Mike."
I fold my arms, "No, I don't believe him. I need evid-"
"Oh my god! He didn't sleep with her! I was the one that said she should sleep over at his house! Okay!"
I look at Stan with big eyes, "You were the one that said that they should fuck each other! I thought we were friends!"
I place my hands over my heart, hurt, "No. We ran into her last night, and she was crying and really upset. It didn't look like she wanted to go home, and she didn't tell us what was wrong so, we got her high and then decided it was best to let her sleep over at Bills. That's all that happened."
I feel the wind blowing through my crazy hair as the truck flys, "What do you think happened to her?"
Bill and Stan look at each other, "We really don't know."
Bill looks at all of us, "I don't th-think she is actually that different from us."
Eddie laughs, "Are you kidding me!? You were there when she freaked on anyone in her sight, right?"
Stan scoffs, "Are you kidding me? Richie does the same exact shit! That's why he's been in that damn waiting cell so many times!"
I nod my head, "He's not wrong."
Eddie shakes his head and rolls his eyes, "Whatever."
Bill looks at me, "Well, don't give up yet. You can s-s-still win this if you try hard enough."
School
Breland
Its really a relief that Bill didn't force me to ride to school with them. I just need everything to go back to normal. I need to just be by myself for a bit, to calm myself. I also need to prepare myself for when I go home, I hope mom goes back to not caring but, with Jack in the house now I don't know what's going to happen. The thought of nothing being the same scares me, I won't have control anymore.
But it's not like I had much anyway.
Every step I take, my footsteps echo and bounce off the walls of the empty hallway. I didn't get to do this yesterday, be alone before having to sit in a room full of fake people.
It's always nice, and a good preparation to face the day. It's probably one of the big reasons why I freaked out so big yesterday.
I still can't believe I punched Greta. Everyone was looking at me like I was a freak. I've never done anything like that, my fist still kinda hurts.
I'm not ready for more people to look at me, more then they already do. I can already hear the whispers but, it's not like I don't hear them every goddamn day.
I saw the losers pass me in their truck while I was walking over here, Richie was waving at me with a big smile on his face, which made me want to crawl into a hole and die while, Stan, Bill, Mike, and Bev gave me small waves.
I don't think Eddie likes me, all he did was cross his arms and looked away from me, and ben, well I think he was reading a book so he didn't really notice.
I don't know why Eddie doesn't like me, i've never done anything to him. Well, I did yell at him. I should apologize if I see him, he was only trying to help me.
I stop at the door to my class room, looking in through the glass window.
The teacher, she's already teaching something. I guess I was walking slower than usual this time.
Do I really wanna go to class? I mean, I've never really skipped class, just have a lot of tardies. Should I be reckless?
I'm in high school, I've never done anything bad on school property before, should I start now. I don't have control anymore, so fuck it!
I slowly back away from the door, making sure to keep an eye on the teacher, so I know if she's going to look or not. I think i'm good. I turn my body around, my head still facing the door. I probably look like such a newbie, or whatever they call people that aren't used to skipping class.
I turn around, I get knocked off my feet, my butt hitting the ground.
My hand goes to my dizzy head. I look up and instantly I let out a sigh.
He crosses his arms and looks down at me with a smug smile, "Now what's a pretty little lady like you doing out here? Shouldn't you be in class?"
He reaches his hand out towards me. I scoff, rolling my eyes and I smack his hand out of my face. I place my hands on the dirty tile floor, pushing myself up.
"Shouldn't I be asking you the same thing, Tozier? Why aren't you in class?" I dust my hands off on my jeans.
"Well I don't know if you know, but i'm not exactly this schools number one student. You however, you haven't ever gotten in trouble. Now why do you wanna ruin your perfect recorde?" Okay I don't have a perfect record, but it's not bad at all, just a lot of tardies.
I stuff my hands into my pockets, shifting uncomfortably.
"I don't want... I don't want everyone to look at me. After yesterday, people are going to be talking and whispering about me and I don't want that attention. I get enough of it as it is."
"Oh my god! Was yesterday Brelands' first fight, and did she just open up to me about it?! This is going down in history!" I roll my eyes, crossing my arms.
I knew I should have just kept my mouth shut, "Whatever! I shouldn't have told you shit, just... leave me the fuck alone."
I keep my head down, pushing past him, "Hold on."
His hand grips my upper arm stopping me. My body tenses up and I whip my head towards Richie, "What!" I spit.
He sighs, letting go of my arm, "Just... let's go to class, okay. Yes, they will look at you, yes, they will talk about you, and yes they will whisper about you but... fuck them."
I turn towards him, my arms still crossed, "They don't know what the fuck you've been through or who you are. They don't need to. So come on let's go."
I roll my eyes, shaking my head. I'm not going to give his little speech, a round of applause.
I push past him, walking back to my class. I hear Richies shoes hit the ground, catching up to me.
I just wish he would leave me alone. Like why the sudden interest in me?
I stop in front of the door, "Well, let's get this over with." I mumble under my breath.
I grab the handle, pushing the door open. I feel eyes on me as the whole room goes silent.
The teacher sets her things down on her deck neatly, and turns to us, "Miss Aray, Mr. Tozier. How nice it is for you two to join us. Now would you two like to explain why you were late?"
I look down fiddling with my fingers, "Well Mrs. I lost my notbook and Breland here, volunteered to help me find it. I'm so sorry I kept Miss Aray for so long it will never happen again."
I look up at him shooked, and my eyes widen, "Breland, is this ture?"
My head snaps to her. My face stays the same and I just nod my head slowly, "I need words Bre."
"Yes Mrs. I was just helping him try to find his book. I'm sorry."
She walks behind her desk, grabbing a wad of paper, "Well since you've never been this late before, I'm going to leave you with a warning." I nod my head, walking towards an open desk in the back, "As for you Mr. Tozier, you will have detention with me after school."
I stop in my tracks looking back at her, "Alright Mrs. I would totally pick you over my family anyway. You're so much more fun to hangout with."
He walks my way, "Wait Mrs. he didn't do anyth-"
Richie grabs my arm and pushes me to the back, "It's okay, just go." His whisper heats my neck up uncomfortably, but I do what he says as we walk to the back where two seats are available.
I sit down, getting everything I need for this class out and I hear Richie scoot his desk towards mine, but I pay no mind to him, "So what were you and big Bill doing last night?"
I frown my eyebrows. What is he talking about? We didn't do anything, "What do you mean? What did he say?" I whisper back, "Oh, nothing. Just that you two were sleeping togeth-" I snap my head towards him, "What!"
"Yes, Miss Aray?" My head snaps to my teacher, "Oh, um, nothing. I-I just thought I lost my pencil is all."
She nods her head, skeptical, "Okay well please, no more interruptions."
I nod my head, giving her a smile. She looks back to the board, "What a good excuses, you really fooled her."
I glare at him, "What did he mean when he said we slept together?"
He places his head in his hand, looking innocent, "Oh just that you slept on one side of his bed and he slept on the other. No body parts touching at all."
I sigh, looking down at my desk, "Why? What did you think I meant?"
My eyes widen a bit, "Nothing."
I stare at my desk like it was the most important thing ever, "Did something happen that I should know about?"
I can feel him get closer to me, "No, nothing happened and if anything did then it would be none if your business."
He sighs, "You see that's where you're wrong. When it involves you sleeping with someone, it is most certainly my business." What the fuck! I can't even deal with this anymore!
Fuck him.
Lunch
I push open the back doors of the school, feeling the nice fresh air calm my body. I'm filled with contentment just being outside and going back to my normal routine. I walk down the steps, moving towards the same old bench i've been sitting on since the beginning of high school.
I feel in control right now, I don't feel forced to do anything.
I set my bag down sinking into my favorite seat.
I don't have to deal with Greta, Richie, nobody.
I unzip my bag, digging through it. My tiny hand wraps around my new walkmen, a small smile making its way onto my face.
It was nice of Bill to give me this, no one has ever really given me a gift before.
I feel like I should repay him, or something. He gave me something so close to him, I have to give or do something for him inreturn.
I place my headphones over my ears, opening up the cassette player, nicly placing Bills cassette into it. I close it, pressing the play button, putting the volume up a bit. Oogum Boogum by Brenton Wood flows through my ears.
I close my eyes, my head swaying to the music. I would love to have a cigarette right now, I feel like it would make this time by myself so much better.
I feel a nudge in my foot, my brows frowning. I open my eyes, two tall figures standing in front of me.
A smile just comes to my face,
I don't even know why?
I take my hand phones off slowly, "What you listening to sweet heart?"
I look down at the walkmen in my hands, chuckling a bit, "Oh, um, Oogum Boogum by-"
Stan and Bill sit on either side of me, "Brenton Wood, one of my favorite songs. Anyway, how are you d-d-doing?"
I roll my eyes, "Richie has not stopped annoying me! I feel like i'm going to kill somebody, that somebody being Richie."
Stan laughs, placing his hand on my back, "It's just something we all have to deal with."
I shake my head, "Thats the thing though! I don't want to deal with it! He didn't know I even existed a while ago, I just don't want him to bother me anymore."
Both Bill and Stan go quiet.
I look at both of them confused, "Are you guys okay?"
Bill nods his head, "Y-Yeah, just worried about the others, being alone with Richie without us there."
Why would the others not be okay with Richie, they're basically family, and aren't they gonna sit with them anyway, "What do you mean? Aren't you two going to go sit with the others?"
They smile at me, "Well, because of last time, we thought that getting to know us would be easier than getting pushed into a whole new situation, that you're not comfortable with. So maybe at lunch you, Bill, and I can hang out together. Do you think you'll be okay with that?"
I shouldn't have gotten so close to them.
I look at both of them, their looks pleading for me to say yes.
Maybe I could be acquaintances with them just like I am with Bev.
Oh shit, Bev! I totally blow up at her just like I did Eddie.
I feel bad because Beverly is such a nice and good person, "How's Bev? I blew up at her yesterday, and I feel really bad."
I completely just changed the subject but I really don't mind, "Oh, she's f-f-fine, a little bit down but, she'll be okay."
I nod my head, "I have to apologize to her and Eddie for yelling at them." Bill digs into his pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes, "Well let's have a smoke so it won't happen again, huh?"
I smile shaking my head, "Yeah, whatever, B-B-B-B-Billy." Laughter bubbles out of all of us, and I don't feel anxious or forced. I feel like myself.
Maybe I could do this. Wait, no, I can't. Don't get attached.
End of School
I can't wait to get out of this fucking place, I mean today wasn't as bad as yesterday but, I still don't want to spend another minute here.
Lunch was nice.
Bill and Stan just talked about their day and a bunch of other random stuff. I haven't laughed as much as I did at lunch for days.
It was nice to let go and not have to constantly push people away. I'm happy i'm getting closer to them, they're really nice and funny. They're also not fake bitches, like the rest of these fucker in this school.
Walking out the doors, I feel just like I did at the beginning of this week. The same crushing feeling, with every step I take down these stairs weighing me down.
The sun barley shining through all of the dark gray clouds, just the way I like it. Everything's back to normal, everything's okay again, "Sweet cheeks! Wait up!"
Or so I fucking thought. My feet don't stop, except they go even faster, "Hey! Bre! Wait!"
When will he get the hint that I want nothing to do with him, "Hey, Breland. You know you don't walk too fast. Maybe it's because your legs are so small."
I scoff crossing my arms, "I'm not that small, so fuck off." He laughs, "Aww did I get the little dwarf mad."
I stop in my tracks, moving in front of him and he almost walks right into me, "What the fuck is your problem! Do you not get that I want nothing to do with you!"
He just stands there with a smug look on his face, "You look angry. How 'bout you put that energy into some good use? Yours, or mine?" He winks.
I feel rage run through my body, I wanna kill him. My hands turn to fist and my nails once again dig into my palms, "What is wrong with you?! You're fucking disgusting! Shouldn't you be in detention, Tozier, maybe you should go do that."
He chuckles shaking his head, "Well, it looks like little miss Aray doesn't know everything about me, like she said she did."
He leans closer, but I don't move, "I don't like following the rule, and when I see something I like, I will stop at nothing to get it."
I glare daggers into him, "What. Do. You. Want. From me." He smirks, leaning so close that I can feel his breath on my lips, "You."
*Smack*
He steps back, grabbing his cheek, a smile still on his face, "Damn baby. Good arm."
I turn around fast walking away from Richie. I don't wanna see his fucking face ever again.
"You're going to fall in love with me!"
I raise my arms, in the air back at him. My middle finger sticking out, "Keep on dreaming Tozier!"
Home
I insert my key into my doorknob and my nerves cause my hand to shake.
Let's just pray Jack isn't here, and everything is back to normal.
I twist the knob, slowly pushing it open, trying to be as quiet as possible. My bottom lip gets caught between my teeth, slowly I peek my head in between the creak in the door.
The house is dark, I don't hear anything, not one single movement can be detected.
This is how it should be, Mom would be in her room, not greeting me, not even looking at me.
I let air I didn't even know I was holding pass my lips, I fully push the door open, stepping into my house. It's quiet, empty. Just the way I like it. I close the door behind me, placing my bag on the ground.
I take my shoes off and walking towards the stairs, "Where the fuck have you been."
My blood goes cold, my feet stopping.
I look over to the living room, Jack sits there with a beer in his hand on the couch.
It's like he was waiting for me, "I slept over at a friends house, that's all."
He shakes his head laughing, slowly he start getting up, "You see your mother tells me that you don't have friends. So tell me where you really went."
I look to the ground, his footsteps getting closer to me, "I swear, i'm telling the truth." My words don't even come above a whisper.
*Smash*
I jump at the sound of glass hitting the hardwood floor, "Don't lie to me! I know you were at that kid Bill's house! Now what were you doing over there!"
Why am I so scared, and how did he know that I was at Bills place, "I-I just... We... Nothing happened."
I feel his presence a foot away from me, his eyes burning holes into me, "I told you not to lie to me. I know a slut when I see one. I bet you fucked him didn't you."
I feel my blood boil. I snap my head towards him, getting into his face, "Is that why you're with my mom? Because she's the biggest slut there is."
He grabs my arm roughly, "Don't talk about your mother like that."
"Then don't act like you know me. You don't know a fucking thing about me or who I spend my time with and what I do with them. Now get the fuck off of me." I spit in him face.
"Oh you're going to regret that, you little bitch."