Ⅱ For Rutts, who is just a genuinely wonderful person Ⅱ
My mind whirred, pain coursing through my body and confusion ransacking my thoughts, plaguing them with the remnants of destruction. My eyes were heavy and as I attempted to open them, an unknown force closed them shut, cutting me off from my surroundings. My hands gripped onto the grass, my fingernails digging into the dirt beneath in an attempt to find something of bountiful strength to support me.
As my fingers clawed at the ground and reached out, they brushed against what seemed to be some kind of material of some sort, and, after feeling it to detect its purpose, I grasped it, pulling it towards me. With a final burst of strength and a determination to save myself, I snapped open my eyes. Thick remains of mud had latched onto my eyelashes, making it harder for me to keep them open. Sunlight seeped through the bottom of the sheet, bouncing and reflecting off the material of the imprisoning cover which seemed to be around me.
Something brushed against my arm and I tried to turn my neck but with the clinging pain accumulating against my head, I instead rested it against the thick patch of grass encircling me. The cover disappeared and the dancing rays of sunlight penetrated my eyes. After blinking rapidly a few times, my eyes settled on the ground in front of me which was stained with mud and scattered with broken pieces of glass and brick.
Footsteps crunched against the fragmented pieces of glass and the sunlight in front of me was blocked off by a person, their shadow replacing it. A looming darkness stood tall in front of me, the rapid beams of sunlight expertly escaping from beside them. In a bid to achieve a more secure position, I placed my hands on the ground in front of me, pushing all my strength onto them to get myself off the ground. Crawling onto my elbows, I reapplied the strength to them once again, staggering to my feet before crashing onto my bottom.
Blood-covered cuts accompanied the burns scattered across my legs and I winced as I ran my hand over them. I pressed a hand to my head, adjusting to the throbbing pain which subsided and then subsequently returned after reluctance. Bringing the hand back to my face, I rubbed the crusted blood between my fingers before wiping it across my dress which was dispersed with rips, blood-stains and muddy splotches.
From between the suns blinding rays, I could vaguely make out a slender arm, the hand of which was reaching out to me. My hands began to shake as I moved them from the ground onto my leg, and then towards their hand with effort. My hand reached out into thin air before finding residence on cold, smooth skin which caressed my hand, grasping it in a gentle manner. With one hand resting against the ground and the other enveloped by a sleek hand, I was pulled firmly to my feet, standing without falling again. I began to feel dizzy as I pressed a hand to my head, my feet staggering back and forth. I almost fell back but was stopped by hands holding onto my arms. The smooth touch sent shivers down my spine and after removing their hold in a bid to leave me to regain my own strength, the coldness of their played its effect on me and I felt calm all of a sudden.
All signs of possible resistance slipped away from my body as I eased around their presence. The sun danced across my irises, arousing patterns that floated around my sight as I looked up and then across at them. Placing a hand across my eyes, I attempted to block off the sun’s rays so I could acknowledge the person in front of me. The sun refused to ease up and the harsh rays continued to make my attempt a difficult one, concealing the face of the person whilst emphasising their outline in the shadow of the sun.
Turning their back on me, the person moved away from the path of the sun’s rays, stepping over to a side. It’s then that I saw the state of what was all around me. The once glorious building was now nothing more than rubble scattered around the garden. The blast had ripped parts of grass away, leaving a muddy mess in its trail. Broken glass and shrapnel was scattered all around me, accompanied by damaged flowers that had been decapitated by the blast.
I heard something crunch behind me and whipped my body around, nearly losing my balance. It’s then that I finally caught a sight of my assailant. Or should I say her.
In all my years of passionately staring at the beauty of certain girls and wishing that I looked like them, I never thought that I would notice something so bizarre on a person’s face, their bone structure.
It was the first thing that highlighted her face, the way her jaw line accentuated the preciseness of the shape of her face. Her plump, rouged lips which seemed to carry more crimson than blood itself although as I peered closer, it was evident she wasn’t wearing lipstick. Her rosy cheeks held fragile grains of emotion that glowed with a hint of pink against her pale complexion. She frowned and in a place where I was expecting creases in her skin there were instead faded remnants of renowned beauty. She brought her hood closer to her face, swiftly tucking away several strands that had fallen from its secure grasp.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked, the softness in her voice which I first heard returning.
Everything felt unreal, too created, and artificial and I swear as I stared at her in awe, I recognised her from somewhere. She was stored in some part of my brain but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I was completely sure I had seen her, not in person but behind a screen. Those features I was gazing at as if it was the first time were familiar. She was my assailant. Why was she acting so casual?
Before I could question her about anything, she turned around, walking to the rear of the garden and slipping into the trees which confirmed my suspicion that they lead to another place. Without waiting, I picked up my speed, also slipping into the trees. Pushing several branches aside, I stepped into an open gap. Following the noise of the crunching of twigs, I ventured further, the sound coming closer until I noticed her figure between two trees.
As I got closer, pushing past the remaining jutting branches that were making my route more difficult to manoeuvre through, I tried to grasp her arm. Failing the first time, I nearly tripped over. I tried to grab her again as she walked on. Pushing past another couple of branches, I grabbed onto her arm as she stepped out into what seemed like an opening. She pulled me closer and as the sun hit me again at the opening, she pulled hard on my arm, throwing me onto the ground in front of her with great strength. I looked back up at her only to see her hand slamming down against my face. Falling to the floor, I clutched my face in pain.
“What is your problem?” she said, turning away from me once again.
The throbbing pain in my cheek resided there for a couple of moments before easing away. I got up on my feet. Clenching my fists, I stood there, eying her, stepping a little closer. She whipped her body around, looking straight at me, her eyes piercing me with an emerald touch. I couldn’t control the urge to scream anymore and before she could say anything else, I seized the opportunity to bring her back to the reality she seemed to be extremely distant from.
“Excuse me if I sound rude, do keep in mind I was nearly shot and almost killed in some kind of bizarre explosion, but are you fucking crazy?”
She looked at me as if I had just uttered something incomprehensible and it was the way her eyes shone in that moment that made me feel again as if I had seen her somewhere before. As if she could read my thoughts, she glared at me in a weird way as if to question why I was staring at her again and turned back around, her figure shielding me from the sun’s rays once again.
“Come with me,” she said, walking on.
With utter confusion and thoughts clogging my mind, I picked up my speed, walking steadily behind her. After a few moments of walking, with the air kissing my skin and causing tingles to run across the various cuts scattered across my legs, and with the birds chirping a melodious tune which put me off, she stopped in her tracks. After eyeing me continuously, with that glitter in her eyes which fixed my gaze onto hers, she dumbfounded me with what she said next.
“Take your clothes off.”
I stared at her, my eyes widened.
“Excuse me?”
“Do you want to get out of here or not?” she asked.
“And what do you mean by ‘out of here’”? I said, folding my arms. “And why does it involve me taking off my clothes?”
“Listen,” she said, moving towards me. “I just need you to do what I say. I’ll explain later.”
“No,” I said, taking a step back. “I need you to explain everything now, I’m not doing anything you tell me too, especially after you put a gun to my head.”
She opened her mouth to say something but then stopped, looked around and also folded her arms. My head started spinning with uncontrollable force. Everything she said added more confusion to my already fractured thoughts. She put a gun to my head yet she was speaking to me like I had just met her. She was asking me favours as if she had a right to.
Taking a step towards me, she placed a hand on my arm. I shrugged her off, taking a step back away from her in an attempt to avoid her touch again.
The next thing I knew, I was surrounded once again by trees, trying desperately to hide between a thick tree trunk. I fiddled around with the straps of my dress, slipping out of it quickly. Without hesitating, I picked it up and stuck my arm out at the side of the tree, holding the dress out. She grabbed it, replacing it with what she was wearing.
My face dropped as I held out the crummy pair of jeans she had passed me, dotted with patches and the baggy hoody she was wearing earlier. I laughed at the ridiculousness of what she was asking me to do. After looking at her expression, I realised she was serious and slipped into it, trying my best to avoid touching the wet mud patches.
“I’m going to need your stilettos too.”
I sighed, unstrapping them and just threw them at her, assuming she was remotely talented enough to catch them. In return, I was thrown a muddy pair of shoes but threw them in the trees ahead of me instead. Rummaging through my bag, I pulled out the pumps I had taken off before I entered the division and slipped them on.
I took one last look at myself and held onto the tree behind me, nearly falling over. I felt sick. I couldn’t go anywhere looking like this. Nobody could see me. It would ruin everything for me, my first impression, everything.
“I’m not going anywhere looking like this,” I said and a second later, I felt my head spinning once again but this time it refused to subside.
I staggered back and forth, holding the tree to steady myself but in the end, I found myself grabbing the tree for all of its strength as I crouched lower and lower till I was on the ground. I sat there as arms fumbled from the other side of the tree, caressing my temples with my fingers delicately. In a matter of seconds, darkness enshrouded my sight and I fell into a never-ending pit of confusion.
♛ ♛ ♛
I felt groggy, balls of light filtering through my eyes as I opened them. My head felt weak and I placed my hand on the surface beside me to steady myself. My hand sank in the soft material and as I steadily recovered from my dazed state, I felt it sink further. Stretching my hand further, I grasped something soft and cold into my fist. Its then that I realised I was on a bed, the corner of the satin sheet draped over me clenched in my fist, my knuckles red from the force I was using to clench it.
My eyes immediately switched to my surroundings, darting around in a panicked attempt to figure out where I was. The walls were graced with an aureate paper, detailed with intricate patterns that I could even make out from where I was sat. As I sat fully upright, something flicked on from either side of me and I turned to face a plump lamp seated on black patterned cabinet which produced a faint light to the area around it. The beige curtains on the wall beside the cabinet glided open on their own, revealing an ornate window which illuminated the whole room with rays of brightness.
Shuffling off the round bed, a soft platform touched the soles of my bare feet, and I stepped off it to reach the floor. Warmth embraced my toes as I put both of my feet on the stone floor, standing fully upright. As I looked around, I was filled with adulation for the beauty around me.
My arms were covered with the sleeves of a silk robe which was fastened tightly around my waist. I tugged on the strands in the middle to loosen them and my face dropped as I stared at a thin black bra and underwear covering me. I looked around in a panicked attempt to locate any other person. Empty. Who undressed me?
As a cold breeze swept through the room, I pulled the robe against my body, fastening it around me once again. My eyes wandered around the room before setting on the door in the corner of the room. As I made my way towards it, the sound of whirring and clicking stopped me in my tracks and I turned toward the huge wall facing the bed. The wall began to be replaced with slim panels, the whirring and clicking continuing, which lined themselves side by side all across the wall, covering the entirety of it. From being transparent, the walls turned black and the distinct outlines which formed each panel faded into the background, conjoining all the panels to form one wide, black screen.
It turned white and from there, an image graced the whole screen and I had to step back to observe the whole thing. I was surprised to hear the familiar voice of Lavinia Beaumont speaking and I frowned, clearly distinguishing the channel as a news channel, even though I had never seen Lavinia presenting the news. It was always another woman
“Since yesterday, crowds have formed outside the venue of the awards ceremony to congratulate Esmeray Beaupre on her fantastic achievement,” Lavinia spoke on, her soft voice fading into my ears as the scene switched to the scene of the previous event.
The screen displayed large crowds gathered at an outside location, around a broad podium. Confetti fell from the sky, covering everybody on stage and the audience in a beautiful array of colours to celebrate the achievement. It then zoomed in on the faces of the people on the podium and then on Esmeray Beaupre.
“… achievement from an exemplar of perfection!”
I felt my face drop and I put my arms out behind me to steady myself, my hands flailing in thin air to find something but I instead failed and hit the floor with a thud. Both excitement and fear coursed through my veins and my eyes widened, my head spinning with a confusion that both made me wonder and fear for my own life.
I recognised that strong bone structure and those pink, rosy cheeks.
Everything felt so unreal, like somebody had created this very moment just to play with my emotions.
It wasn’t true; it couldn’t be.
My find refused to accept the daunting reality which was dominating my thoughts, threatening my happiness but the more I found myself thinking about it, the more it struck fear into my heart. I clasped a hand around my mouth as my thoughts formed into one sudden realisation.
My assailant was an exemplar of perfection.