✿ FOURTEEN ✿
"Tu as le cœur à rire,
Moi, je l'ai à pleurer."
___
With a look of disgust on her face, Katherine looked at the chopped off fingers and knife that was lying on the metal table in the Dropship. As soon as Jasper and Octavia had shared their experiences outside the walls of camp, casually stumbling unto some fingers from Wells and a knife, they had retrieved Clarke to start an emergency meeting.
Katherine would have rather gone to her tent with Nate and the cub, that wasn't a cub anymore really, but both Bellamy and Clarke insisted that she should attend. Which caused her to stand around the table in a manner that suggested that she wasn't slightly interested in what was about to happen.
"This knife was made from metal from the Dropship," Clarke noted, grabbing the weapon from the table.
That did catch Katherine's attention and after a moment of hesitation, she observed the knife. The pattern on the handle of the knife, the yellow-painted stripes, caused Katherine to start feeling nauseous. She had seen that knife before, but where? She bit the inside of her lip.
"Who else knows about this?" Bellamy asked. His face carried a grave expression as he looked from Jasper to his younger sister, who was standing on Bellamy's other side.
"No one, we brought it straight here," Octavia replied, shrugging her shoulders slightly. "Well, after we brought it to your tent, of course."
Katherine looked from Bellamy to Clarke, the latter giving her a knowing look. Both of them had come up with the same conclusion, that there was an active murderer in camp. And then, as the world seemed to slow, and Katherine's vision blurred, she remembered when she had seen that knife before. The first day, when she had stayed with Wells and someone had threatened him. That someone had stuck his knife to her face, and that somebody was none other than Murphy.
Though it was very plausible, it made Katherine's knees grow weak. She took a staggering step towards Clarke, gaining the attention from the other people in the tent, and though she swore she would never touch a knife again, she pulled the weapon from Clarke's hands. The inscriptions on the handle of the metal made her even more queasy.
"What is it, Katherine?" Bellamy asked, and when he grabbed Katherine's shoulder, she looked up at him like a deer caught in headlights. Immediately he let go of her, coming to the conclusion she must have been far away in that ungraspable world of hers.
"It's Murphy's," Katherine said, her voice croaking like she hadn't spoken forever. "But it can't be."
"Sorry to burst the bubble you had of your Romeo, sweetheart," Katherine heard Bellamy say, causing her to give him a nasty glare. With a loud smack, she threw the knife on the table, ready to get in Bellamy's face for saying such a thing, when Clarke said something that agitated her even more.
"The people deserve to know. Get out of my way, Bellamy."
"Clarke, be smart about this. Look at what we've achieved... the wall, the patrols. Like it or not, thinking the Grounders killed Wells is good for us," Bellamy said, while he crossed his arms. His voice was reasonable and Katherine noticed he didn't use half of the authority he normally used with her. It didn't matter, though, because Clarke was anything but convinced.
"Clarke, just hold your horses for a minute," Katherine said. There was a slow, but steady ache coming up inside her head and she had no doubt that within a couple of minutes hear head would feel like somebody put a thousand rubber bands around it.
Katerine grabbed Clarke's arm and turned the blonde girl around, away from Bellamy and away from the tent's exit. "Bellamy's right, maybe not for the right reasons, but right nevertheless. As soon as you point to Murphy you will open a door that is better left closed. Think of the reactions of the rest, they hate Murphy enough already."
Katherine didn't know why she was protecting Murphy, heck, she hated Frog-Face with all her heart. But at the same time her heart and intuitive told her he couldn't be the killer. If he had really killed Wells last week, she should have been dead way earlier. She was convinced that he hated her more than he could ever hate Wells.
"And for the right reasons as it turns out," Clarke replied. She shrugged her arm out of Katherine's grasp, looking at her through narrowed eyes as if she was trying to understand what was wrong. "What is up with you, Katherine, I thought you hated the guy."
"Oh, believe me, I do," Katherine replied with a sarcastic scoff. "But revenge is almost never justice. In this case, it definitely isn't."
Clarke just rolled her eyes, grabbed the knife from the table, and stormed out of the tent, causing Katherine's headache to grow worse. She gave Jasper and Octavia a look that said here-we-go and with a deep sigh, she followed Clarke and Bellamy out of the tent.
"You son of a bitch!" Clarke yelled out as she gave Murphy one good shove.
Katherine cringed inwardly when she saw Murphy's face, laughing and scoffing as he asked what Clarke's problem was, fall when Clarke accused him of murdering Wells. Katherine had never seen the boy look so serious before and she couldn't help but wonder if life wasn't a complete joke to him.
"The grounders killed Wells, not me," Murphy muttered defensively, holding his hands up as a sign of surrender.
Katherine looked around, quickly noticing how everybody was quitting their jobs, more interested in the entertainment Clarke and Murphy were offering. She felt a small hand grasp hers and when she looked down, she saw Charlotte look at her in a way that she couldn't understand. It seemed to be a mixture of panic and guilt.
Katherine knelt down to the younger girl, pushing her wild strands of hair behind her ears. "Go find Nathan, Lotte, and try to stay away from the crowd." She gave the girl a reassuring squeeze, and as she straightened her knees again, she sent Charlotte away with a soft push to the girl's shoulder.
"Bellamy, you really believe this crap?" Murphy asked, not particularly pleading, but also not casual. His vicious eyes shifted to Katherine. "Oh, I see, you probably had something to do with it, right, Wicked-Witch?"
"Believe it or not, I'm on your side with this one, Frog-Face," Katherine muttered. She went to move from Bellamy and Octavia to Murphy's side because she knew as soon as somebody came up with a fitting punishment, all hell would break loose. Katherine, as she felt Bellamy grab her upper arm, turned her head and gave the man one glare, raised one eyebrow and looked completely unimpressed, and he didn't know how quickly he had to let go of her.
"Plenty of people hated Wells," Murphy said in a defensive way as Katherine found his side. "His father was the Chancellor who locked us all away."
"Yeah but you're the only one who ever got in a knife-fight with him," Clarke snapped back immediately.
"Didn't kill him then either," Murphy said, shrugging as if that would explain everything.
Katherine rolled her eyes, tried to ignore her hurting head and regretted that she had taken Murphy's side. To be fair, it didn't look too good for him, and he didn't have a way with words as Clarke did. Besides, Katherine hadn't much proof that he didn't do it, other than her intuitive feelings.
"Look, Clarke, try to be reasonable," Katherine said, already feeling guilty for the card she was going to play in a couple of seconds. She had read enough books about murder cases that one thing had become clear to her, if you don't have strong proof yourself, at least try to weaken the evidence on the other side. "You're blinded by emotions and grief, your best friend was killed. Everybody would want to find the murder if they were in your shoes, but jumping into conclusions when you're in such a vulnerable state isn't the right thing. And you know it."
Katherine didn't think she had ever received such a mean glare. It almost made her flinch away, but she managed to stand her ground. She knew that she deserved the glare, and that if somebody would have made that remark to her she would have lost her usually calm demeanour and punch that person in the face.
"Come on, this is ridiculous," Murphy scoffed. He rolled his eyes as he looked at all the teenagers surrounding them. "I don't have to answer to you. I don't have to answer to anybody!"
"Come again?" Bellamy asked, causing Katherine to immediately roll with her eyes.
"Bellamy, look, I'm telling you, man," Murphy said. This time his voice was pleading. "I didn't do this."
As soon as Katherine saw Clarke look around her, she felt her headache flare up, as if her brain could explode any minute. She knew that the look in the blonde's eyes could only mean one thing, and that was a speech. And whatever god there was knew that Katherine hated those.
"Is this the kind of society that we want? You say there should be no rules," Clarke started. She looked at Bellamy, but then made a circle around her own axis, to address the rest of the delinquents as well. "Does that mean that we can kill each other without... without punishment?"
Katherine let out a frustrated sigh and grabbed Clarke fiercely at her arm. She looked the blonde in dark eyes, both angry and desperate. "My move was low, incredibly low, but do you realise what you've just done? You floated him, you'll see," Katherine hissed, shaking her head in disbelief. She let out a loud scoff as people around her started chanting already. "You'll regret it, you should have kept your mouth shut!"
Clarke just looked away, tears of frustration forming in her eyes, and Katherine let her go. All it took was one glance for Katherine to realise the situation was royally fucked. More than fifty delinquents were pumping their fists into the air, calling for Murphy's dead. Clarke looked desperately around her and Bellamy's authority appeared to be lost.
Murphy, who probably realised the situation wasn't looking too good for him, started to make a run for it, only to be tripped over by some other guy. Katherine watched in horror as a couple of guys started to gag Murphy and tie his hands together, and threw him down a hill like they hadn't punched and kicked the heck out of him already.
It took Katherine almost more than she could give to start moving, to follow the guys down the hill. It all went so fast, one second a guy pulled Murphy out of a pool of mud, the next they had strung him up on a tree with only an unstable crate preventing him from choking to death. She didn't like Murphy, no, but nobody deserved this.
Katherine felt that her throat hurt, and only then did she realise that she was screaming to people that they needed to think this through and that they couldn't do this. She wanted to force her way to Murphy, so that she could get him down, but all she got was a shove that knocked the wind out of her. As if that wasn't bad enough, her mind vaguely registered Charlotte amidst the crowd.
"Bellamy, you should do it. Kick the crate," the same guy who had let the log fall out of hands said. He walked to Bellamy like it was some great honour, and pushed his fist high in the air. "Bell-a-my!"
Shaking her head in hope to create some order, Katherine found her way to Bellamy, where Clarke was already begging him to stop it. Katherine knew words wouldn't make a difference, but she did her best to give Bellamy a look that would make him think twice over his decisions. Her eyes caught his and for a moment her plan seemed to work, but then he shook his head, pushed Clarke away, and made his way to the crate on which Murphy was literally begging for his life.
She would never forget the look in Murphy's eyes. His face was full of mud and blood. He was almost choking on his own blood, and the noose on his neck was only tightening due to his movements. His lips formed unheard words, but his eyes spoke a thousand and at that moment Katherine felt a form of pity she had never felt before.
The next moment she wouldn't ever forget either. Bellamy, not that an amazing leader under the pressure of his people of delinquents, kicked the crate away. Katherine wanted to close her eyes or turn around, but she couldn't get her body to do either. In the movies, when they hang somebody, it is always a sort of clean. The person just drops, his or her neck breaks instantly and there is generally not a lot of pain.
Murphy's hanging was the complete opposite. It was messy, it wasn't instant and he was screaming even though his throat must have been constricted. The bouncing of the rope and the awkward position of his body made Katherine want to throw up. Her head felt like it was full of flies, the buzzing drowning the cheers and desperate screaming of Clarke and Bellamy out.
Katherine forced her way to the front, determined to get Murphy down, or at least hold his legs up till somebody would cut him down, but she was pushed back again. This time, however, she didn't back down as easily, she gave the guy who started all of this a push of her own. It must have been the adrenaline who provided her with a power she normally lacked, because the guy almost went down. Almost, though, and when he came up to her again, he grabbed her arm roughly and stuck a knife into her face, daring her to come closer.
"Stop, okay!" Katherine heard Charlotte all of a sudden scream, causing her to look over her shoulder in distress. The last person who should have to witness this all was Charlotte. Katherine felt instantly guilty that she hadn't forced the girl a little harder to get away. "Murphy didn't kill Wells, I did!"
"Oh my God," Katherine muttered underneath her breath, suddenly feeling like her whole body could forsake any minute. For a split second, her vision turned black, she felt her legs give out underneath her and it took all of her might not to throw up all that she had eaten this morning. From one corner of her eyes, she saw Murphy being cut down by Clarke, a second later from the other Charlotte getting carried away by Bellamy. It was then that she decided to let go for a moment.
✿
"Katherine, wake up!"
She felt a sharp sting in her left cheek, and within moments Katherine was awake, finding Charlotte hiding in her arms, her young face pressed against the crook of her neck. She was seated against the wall of the tent and even though her vision was blurry, she could easily make out Clarke, Finn and Bellamy.
The headache that had terrorised her not all too long ago still wasn't gone and she had a bitter taste in her mouth. Within seconds the events from the day came back to her, causing her almost to retch again. She forced Charlotte to stand up and a moment later she followed suit, on one knee so she could look the young girl into her eyes. Katherine came to the conclusion that they weren't killer's eyes.
"Why did you do that, love?" Katherine asked, her voice breaking like she could burst in tears any minute. In fact, Katherine felt like she could break down sobbing at any given moment. "Did I not tell you many times what happens to people who do bad things?"
"But I was just slaying my demons, as Bellamy told me," Charlotte replied, her voice whiny and full of panic. Her eyes shifted between Katherine and Bellamy, the two people she saw as her role models.
Katherine's eyes also found Bellamy's, the glance of desperation in them clear. "She misunderstood me," Bellamy clarified to Finn and Clarke, before turning to the younger girl again. "Charlotte, that is not what I meant."
"Bring her out!" Katherine heard someone scream, causing her to stand up immediately. She placed a protective hand on Charlotte's shoulder as if to shield her from harm's way. Katherine recognized that voice, it obviously was Murphy's, and it surprised her that the boy was able to scream so loudly after the whole ordeal.
"Please don't let them hurt me!" Charlotte said, panic evident in her voice.
Katherine felt her heart hurt, torn between guilt, anger and love. Guilt that they had hanged Murphy without a fair trial, but also the guilt of not taking better care of Charlotte. Anger towards Charlotte because, she out of all people, killed Wells, which never, not in any world, could be deemed acceptable. And love, because even though all those horrible things she still thought of Charlotte as a sister.
"If you guys have any bright ideas, speak up," Bellamy said, making a gesture with his hand towards Clarke and Finn. Clarke and Finn gave each other a look that told Katherine and Bellamy enough, and both let out a loud sigh of despair. "Now you two stay quiet."
Katherine was grateful that Bellamy didn't include her in his statement.
"Those are your boys out there," Finn replied immediately.
"Well if Clarke would have kept her mouth shut, this all wouldn't have happened," Katherine snapped back, perhaps more agitated than was fair. She didn't care at the moment though. All she cared about keeping Charlotte out of harms way, even though she was a murderer. The thought alone made Katherine flinch.
"You want to build a society, princess? Let's build a society!" Katherine heard Murphy scream again. She couldn't exactly blame him for demanding that, and even though the logical part of her knew he was right, she would never give up Charlotte. "Bring her out."
Finn opened the flap of the tent a little and Katherine flinched at the mob who had gathered in front of the tent with Murphy upfront. She couldn't help but wonder how many of those people who are deeming Charlotte to be punished, sent Murphy just as quickly to his death. She was irritated by the nerve of those people.
"No! Please, Bellamy," Charlotte begged, the tears obvious in her eyes.
Katherine let go of the younger girl as Bellamy knelt down in front of her and gently rubbed her arms. It wasn't the right moment, she knew that much, but she found it impossible to stop her heart from melting a little as she saw how tender Bellamy was. "Charlotte, it's going to be okay, just stay with them." And with that Bellamy moved out of the tent and to the crowd.
"I know a place where we can take her," Finn offered. He looked from Charlotte to Katherine to Clarke, who gave a shrug as if to say she didn't have a better plan either. "I'm pretty sure they won't find her there. From there we can work on a plan."
"Alright, sounds like the only solution to me," Katherine muttered under her breath. She wasn't too happy to leave Charlotte alone with Finn and Clarke, but it was obvious that they weren't going to tell her what this place of theirs was and Katherine didn't have another solution at hand.
"I don't want to say goodbye," Charlotte said to Katherine. The tears were now flowing over her cheeks like a waterfall over rocks, and Katherine felt her heart ache painfully.
"It's okay, love, it's no goodbye," Katherine said as optimistically as she could. She knelt down again to give the girl a reassuring hug, pushed her hair out of her face and then gave her a little push towards Finn and Clarke. "It will all be fine."
"You promise?" Charlotte eyed, as she doubtfully moved towards Finn and Clarke.
Katherine nodded, swallowing the huge lump in her troat. "I promise."