"The ones that love us, never really leave us,"
-Sirius Black
It wasn't always so hard to get up in the morning, it can't be this hard for just anybody to leave the warmth and protection on their bed, though not everyone had lost their brother less than a month ago.
I didn't quite know how to deal with the death of my brother, Cedric, who died at the hands of Lord Voldemort while participating in the triwizard tournament that was held at our school, Hogwarts.
Shuddering at the memory of his lifeless body appearing in the field, as we all stood there in the stands. Poor Harry Potter, he was another participant in the tournament, he witnessed Ced's death and had to fight against Voldemort. I remember him approaching me on the last day of school.
"Stass?" A voice said behind me, I turned from my spot on the hufflepuff table to see Harry. He shuffled from one foot to another, there was no one sitting close by me, though all eyes were watching.
"Harry," I croaked, from not having spoken much for a few days.
"Can we talk?" He asked in a lowered voice, rubbing the back of his neck. I looked around at everyone watching, causing their eyes to move back to their plates when mine met theirs.
"Of course," I said, standing up and moving to his side. My eyes met Ron and Hermione's, Harry's closest friends, they looked at me with outmost sympathy, everyone did.
I could hear whispers as we moved by the other students, "I don't know how she's still at school," and "If potter showed up with my dead brother, I'd sock him right then and there," I clenched my jaw and silently followed Harry.
I don't know why I decided to stay, maybe I couldn't handle being back at home where all Ceds memories are, or that I simply can't pack up my things and leave the place I saw him last.
Harry and I walked out of the great hall, out towards the empty courtyard and we sat on a bench in the sun.
I looked up to Harry, who's face showed so much pain, grief and guilt. I couldn't help but have tears start to form in my eyes. I lifted my hand to the side of his arm in comfort, his eyes beginning to form tears as well.
"I'm so sorry Stass," he said, unable to look at me in the eyes, "I just, it's all my fault, if I hadn't shared the cup with Cedric," he started to say, his voice quivering near the end. A tear fell down my face, landing on the wood of the bench we sat on. He noticed the fallen tear and finally looked up at me.
"Harry, don't ever blame yourself for Cedr-" I couldn't say his name, "for his death, you did everything you could. There are forces stronger than you could have handled in that situation, and nobody blames you Harry," I said, he now had fallen tears. I moved my hand and wrapped my arms around his neck, he held me in his arms.
"You brought him back, for dad, for me," I whispered, "thank you, Harry," I finished, feeling his quite sobs.
It was unfair that he as felt guilty as he did, it's unfair he had to witness and live through what he did. It's unfair my brother died. We both held each other and quietly sobbed together, finally letting our emotions out.
I had always been in Ced's shadow, though I never complained. I wasn't one to purposefully put myself out there, I would just simply focus on my studies and friends.
Now more than ever, I'd been getting owls from people I didn't know before from all of Ced's friends. I would be grateful all these people cared, but unable to open the letters, adding to an already large pile in the corner of my bedroom.
I let out a large sigh, walking out my bedroom aiming to go downstairs. Stopping at Ced's room, almost passing it, half of me wanted to open it and see if he was on his bed, reading a book like he always used to. I even believed for a second that I saw him laying there through the sliver of an opening. Though after shaking my head and closing my eyes for a brief period, I saw nothing.
I continued my venture downstairs, I had stayed primarily in the house since I've been back from school. Either in my room or by my fathers side, who hadn't moved from the large chair in front of the fireplace.
It pained me to see my father in such a depressive state, his face had sunken in with dark circles under his usually bright eyes.
"Dad," I whispered, calmly kneeling beside him, "would you like some eggs and toast for breakfast?" I asked, I had taken in the role of making food for the both of us, and other house chores as he was just stuck in place.
I furrowed my eyebrows, getting no answer from him, I reached out to his arm to see if I can break him out of his trance.
He didn't react to my touch, not even a blink, he just stared emotionless at the fireplace. I sighed and stood up, walking towards the kitchen to start making him breakfast.
My eyes watered up, seeing the framed family picture on the counter of dad, ced, mum and I. It was from such a long time ago, before my mum passed, we all were smiling at the camera man.
Dad's proud smile, with his raised chin, holding onto mum and ced, with me between them. Even at such a young age, Ced has his charming smile, which he got from our mum. Then there was me, with my lopsided grin, that turned into a laugh as the photo moved.
I smiled at the memories that began to flood in, frying the eggs I didn't realize a tear had fallen until the stove steamed up in a small spot. I wiped my tears away, putting the toast and eggs onto a place and brought it back into the living room.
"Dad here's some breakfast, please have at least a bite," I said at a whisper, to scared to speak too loudly and frighten him. He hadn't spoken more than a few words to me since I've been back, and he's been getting worse every day.
I placed the plate on the coffee table in front of him, hoping he'd see it. Though in was in his line of sight, it's like he saw right through it, right through me.
I sighed and sat down on the chair opposite to his side, watching him watch nothing.
As the one hour mark came and went, I sighed and grabbed the plate. Knowing I shouldn't waste the food, I put the eggs in a container and tossed the now stale bread out.
Right before it was about to turn to walk back into the living room, I saw a white blur flying towards the open kitchen window. I furrowed my eyebrows, seeing Hedwig, Harry's owl perch herself on the China cabinet.
"Hello beautiful girl," I coo'd, getting the end part of the bread loaf and gave her some in exchange for the letter clasped in her claws. She nuzzled my hand affectionately, and grabbed the price of bread.
I propped myself up onto the counter, and opened the letter.
Stass,
I wanted to get a hold of you to see how you were doing. Things must be so hard right now, I'm so sorry for everything.
I sighed, hating the fact Harry felt this much guilt. He wasn't at fault, nobody believes he is, but he just holds so much on his shoulders.
I've been feeling quite down as well, it seems like everything that happens just keeps getting worse and there's nothing I can do. Ron and Hermione have not been responding to my letters, I hope everything is alright with them. I've been reading the profet everyday, hoping I don't see there names in it, along with all the muggle and muggle sympathizer/born deaths. My aunt and uncle have pretty much ignored me for the past few weeks I've been back, which as you know is the best for both worlds. I hoped perhaps you and I could meet In London soon, I'd like to be with a friend. Only of course if it's alright with you and your family, I will understand completely if you can't.
Again, hope all is well, or at least as well as it can be,
Harry.
I finished reading and folded the letter up, putting it into my pocket.
"Hedwig, come along with me upstairs, I'll write him back now," I told the owl, placing my arm out so she can perch herself up onto it. I didn't want to keep her from Harry for much longer, it sounds like he needs all the friends he can have. I began to wonder why Ron and Hermione weren't answering his letters, they weren't those type of friends.
As I made my way up the stairs, with Hedwig on my arm, I glanced toward dad, seeing he hadn't moved since the last time I saw him. I sighed lightly, and continued to make my way up the stairs toward me bedroom.
Setting Hedwig down on my desk, pulling out a muggle pen and paper, as I hadn't unpacked much since I've been back. I made a mental note to do that soon.
I sat there thinking about what to say back, Harry and his friends were always quite nice to me throughout the years, everyone was. Though I hadn't really been close friends with them until this year, when we met up at the quittitch World Cup.
As the year started I decided to didn't want to take the extended herbology classes most of my hufflepuff classmates in my year would usually take. I got put into the griffindor class rotation, so I became very close to Harry, Hermione, Ron and the rest of the griffindor's.
When the participants of the triwizard tournament were announced, I remembered helping both Ced and Harry figure things out for their tasks.
Smiling at all the memories of last year, the good ones, like me bumping into Harry the day before the Yule ball and him still not having a partner, and volunteering to go with him. When Professor Dumbledore had Hermione, Gabrielle Delecur, and I be apart of the second task of the tournament.
I sighed and looked at the blank piece of paper, trying to find the right words to write to someone who's feeling as lonely as I am.
{my new book. The picture attached to the top is who I've modelled Anastasia Diggory after, though as readers you can imagine her however you best see fit. I've been working hard on this book, hoping to mature more in my writing, please let me know what you think!
This is based on some parts of both the books and the movies, credit to JK Rowling and all others included in creating both the books/movies. Though I take credit for all new characters/storylines.}