"Ashy, you need to get ready!" Ronnie reminds me for the thousandth time.
I don't blame her, I get excited every time I go to the Rhodes house too. Ronnie is obsessed with them. Saffron is her best friend. Sage let's her play his drums, even though she has no idea what she's doing. Sterling does science experiments with her, despite Scarlett's numerous protests. Silver taught her to play video games and Scarlett is the older sister she's always wanted.
If I didn't love Scarlett even more than she did, I'd be offended.
"Ronz, Sage is picking us up." I remind her again.
She rolls her eyes, running to put her bag downstairs. I wonder what she does when I'm not home because she loves to harass me.
Dad knocks on my door as he walks in, closing it behind him.
"What's up, Dad?" I ask, setting my phone down.
"What exactly are you two doing again?"
"Sage and I are taking the girls out to a late lunch and a movie. Sorta like a little date."
He seems pleasantly surprised by our plans; I've never done something like this for Ronnie before. "Are you two spending the night at Scarlett's?"
"Yeah, mom said it was okay." He nods his head, somewhat unsure of what to say. "We don't do anything besides sleep."
And kiss.
I don't know why I feel the need to tell him that but the last thing I need for them to get the wrong idea. I don't want to lose my ability to stay over. I'd love to do other things, but I don't think either of us are ready for that yet.
He nods again, "So how are you and Scarlett?"
I can tell he's uncomfortable. I've never really had this conversation with him, or really any meaningful conversation with in in the last year. Things between us since the move have gotten better but it's still weird at times.
"She's amazing." And beautiful, smart, funny, sassy and so much more.
"Are you happy?"
That question takes me by surprise, no one's asked me that. I've gotten a lot of congratulations and pats on the back, but this means more than all of that combined.
"Absolutely, I never thought I could be this happy." Dad's still nodding his head and I mentally slap myself for putting my foot in my mouth. "It's not that I wasn't happy before. It just this is different."
He stops nodding his head like a bobble head, so I continue. "It's given me perspective. I spent two years acting like a punk and then thought my life was over. But she's three times the person I'll ever be. She makes me want to be better."
I've never tried this hard in my life.
"I'm proud of you, son." I'm stunned as he engulfs me in a hug.
I hug him back, those words echoing in my mind. Things weren't always this awkward but once you break a bond it's pretty hard to rebuild it. But he's my dad, it won't be like this forever.
He goes to get up, but I keep my arms around him, "I'm sorry, Dad."
I've said it before, but I've never meant those words as much as I do right now. I took my parents for granted without ever realizing it might've been the last time I talked to them. That's the most terrifying thought I've had stuck in my mind since Scarlett told me about her parents.
Not being able to say goodbye. Or worse, leaving angry. Countless times I left screaming about how much I hated him and hoped he would just leave. What I wouldn't give to take it all back.
"So am I."
He goes to get up and this time I let him go, an unknown weight being lifted from my shoulders.
Dad makes it to the door before turning to look back at me, "I like Scarlett."
A smile breaks out on my face at his words. "Thank you."
*****
Taking two seven-year olds to see a movie is a lot more stressful than I thought. They run through the parking lot without checking for cars, almost giving me a heart attack.
Then Saffron spills her entire bucket of freshly buttered popcorn. Ronnie runs to help her and falls. Sage goes to get napkins and slips. After calming myself out of hysterical laughter I go to help them, but I fall trying to pick Ronnie up.
I guess karma really is a bitch.
Ronnie and Saffron talk through the previews and the beginning of the movie. A grandmother from the row behind us hushes them and just when I think they're going to be quiet, Saffron turns around and shushes her right back. Sage almost gets us kicked out from laughing so hard.
She's a wonderful mixture of all her siblings. The trouble she's going to get into is unimaginable.
We manage to finish the movie and make it to Chick-Fil-A without any more problems.
"So, girls, how's Dasher?" Sage asks, a smirk on his face.
Oh, the stories I've heard about Dasher Williams. He steals their pencils, kicks their chairs, and tugs on their hair. The girls have beaten him up so many times that I'm surprised he hasn't stopped yet. I find it hilarious, I used to do the exact same thing to Scarlett to get her attention.
Thank God I don't have to do that anymore, although I always did find her anger to be adorable.
"He tried to kiss me." Saffron states, shoving a fry into her mouth.
Sage spits his drink out, clearly not expecting that answer. "He did what?"
I don't remember a lot from my first-grade days, but we certainly didn't try to do that.
"Tried to kiss me right on my cheek."
I relax a little, I was picturing a full-blown kiss on the lips, but Sage still seems upset.
"Don't worry, I shoved him off of me and told him I had to like him first." Saffron adds.
It's a struggle to hold back laughter at the shocked look on his face. "Saff, you don't kiss anyone until you're my age. Okay?"
She nods her head affirmatively, not even giving it a second though. I turn to Ronnie, who's eating a chicken nugget. "That goes for you too."
"Why, you kiss Scarlett all the time?" She says.
Saffron nods her head, "Yeah, and you kiss her on the lips. All the time. Sometimes she doesn't even get to finish talking and that's rude."
"How come you get to do that, Ashy?"
I shift uncomfortably under their curious looks. They shouldn't even be interested in kissing right now, let alone be concerned with my kissing. And it's not rude, she's just too stubborn sometimes and I need to get her attention.
"Ashy, why do you and Scarlett kiss so much?" Sage asks with mock seriousness, a grin on his face. I'm so going to kill him.
My mouth opens and closes a couple times, trying to figure out what to say. "Um, well Scarlett and I are boyfriend and girlfriend, so we kiss to show how much we like each other."
"But you kissed her before you were boyfriend and girlfriend." Ronnie points out.
How in the world does she know that?
"Dasher said I could be his girlfriend, if I say yes can we kiss?" Saffron asks a little too curious.
Oh my God, Scarlett is going to kill me if Sage doesn't first.
"No!" We both shout, startling some of the people eating around us.
"You have to be older before you can enter a relationship. It's a very serious thing to be a part of. That's why it's taken Ella and I such a long time to be together." Sage says.
"You're still not dating." Saffron argues.
Sage blushes and I decide to save him from explaining that relationship. "And it took me and Scar along time to date too. We kissed because we were older and trying to see if we actually liked each other."
Not necessarily the truth but they don't need to know that.
Saffron opens her mouth to argue again but Sage cuts her off, "Just no kissing anyone that isn't family. Not now. Not tomorrow. Not next year. Now go play."
The girls get up, giggling as they run to the playground. It's been a while since I've hung out with just Sage, too preoccupied with Scarlett to make time for him.
That's something I need to change.
"Do you think aliens are real?" He asks, chewing on a piece of ice.
Oh, God, not this conversation. "I suppose I could potentially see them being somewhere in the universe."
He tips his cup back for another piece of ice, "Or they're among us and we don't even know it. For all I know you could be one of them on a mission to steal my knowledge."
Sage gives me a serious look and I can't help but laugh, "Yeah and what knowledge am I gonna get out of you. How to throw a baseball?"
I mean it as a joke but Sage's grin falls, ever since the beginning of the season he's been sensitive to his intelligence level. I knew before that people thought he was stupid, which he isn't by any means. He's currently killing algebra II while I'm struggling. Once the label of potential college athlete got slapped on him teachers stopped seeing anything else.
It's a frustrating feeling and I think it's bothering him more than he'd care to admit. "Look, bro, I didn't mean it like that."
He waves me off, "I know, besides it's not any different than if they were to abduct you."
"And why's that?" I ask, genuinely curious to his change in topic. He's the best subject avoider I've ever met. If Sage doesn't want to talk about something, he won't.
"Because no alien would need obsessive knowledge about my sister unless they wanted to clone her and then we'd all be done for." He laughs, clearly amused by the thought.
I'm not obsessive, I just find her interesting.
"Like you aren't the same way about Ella." I counter, feeling slightly awkward. We haven't really had a conversation about me and Scarlett.
"If anything, I'm worse." He sighs, eating a few fries. "That's nine years of knowledge packed into my head."
What would he even do with that much knowledge? Then again, I feel like there's always something new to learn if you pay close enough attention.
"I think I'm going to make it official." He spits out, focusing on his straw.
My eyes bulge out of my head, "What?"
Never did I ever think he would say those words. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
I'm beginning to think he's not going to reply when Sage puts his food down, for once looking directly at me. "Ever since the accident I've held onto Ella like a lifeline. I felt guilty at first, having someone to be there for me while Scar had no one, let no one in. Then you came along and I realized I was scared. I'm still scared."
He begins to fidget with his straw again, clearly uncomfortable with admitting his thoughts.
"I've lost so much these past two years. My parents. John for a little while. My home. A whole half of my life snagged away in such a short amount of time that I just couldn't afford to change anything else. And now I might lose her for that exact reason."
"What do you mean?" As far as I know Ella isn't planning on going anywhere.
"She's looking at a school in New York and I want her to go. It's the perfect place for her, but I've never had to wonder what life would be like without Ella. And I know I have over a year until I even have to worry about it. It's just scary to think about."
His voice cracks a little and I feel terrible, not really knowing what to say. I know what it's like to feel dependent on a person, I don't know how I'll survive without Scarlett in college. It's over a year away but I still worry about the distance. Mine's only three hours while his would be twenty-eight. Not wanting to point that out I focus on the positive.
"Maybe this is exactly what you need to move forward. I know it's terrifying, but all the best things are. You can call, facetime, text, or visit her whenever you want."
He nods his head slightly, a weak smile on his face. "Yeah, you're right."
Since we're on the topic of dating I decide to try my luck. "Speaking of relationships, you're good with Scarlett and me, right?"
I know she talked to him already, but I just want to make sure. "I'm beyond okay with you two dating. I know it probably felt like forever but that's why I'm so good with it. You know what's at stake, so I don't need to go all protective."
A nervous laugh escapes at his dismissive tone. He gave me a warning and it certainly scared me. "What do you mean?"
"I'm the least of your worries. If it wasn't for the fact Bennett was a piece of shit, he would've been terrified."
On instinct I crack my knuckles at the thought of Bennett, what I would give to see him again. "Who could be worse than you?"
Sage shrugs, "Well there's Gabe, who did a pretty good job of scaring boys away from Scarlett. Then there's RJ, who's basically watched Scarlett since birth. But no one's as terrifying as Emmy."
I try to nonchalantly process that information. Gabe and RJ both gave me pretty interesting talks about Scarlett with a wide variety of threats that made me momentarily fear for my life, but no one's beaten the twins.
I don't think anyone ever will.
"Your old neighbor?" I clarify, remembering that Scarlett's mentioned him once or twice. Always in the past tense with a sad look on her face, I was beginning to think he moved away or something.
"Yeah, we haven't seen him in a while, but one push of a button and he'd come beat your ass."
I'm sure, after all he's the one who taught Scarlett everything she knows. I know better than go up against the teacher.
We talk for a little while longer, letting the girls play till they get tired. Something I'm beginning to think is impossible as they run over to us, their faces red and sweaty.
"Let's go." Saffron declares like it's her decision to make in the first place.
"Yeah, Scar said we could make cookies tonight." Ronnie adds, practically dragging me to the door. I certainly can't argue with that now can I.
On the way to the car, we pass a motorcycle, a guy in a leather jacket watching us as he texts on his phone. I'm sure it's a pretty interesting sight to watch two high schoolers be bossed around by first graders.
A year ago, I would've laughed at something like this but now I wouldn't trade places for anything in the world.
*****
We pull up to the house and instantly I can tell somethings wrong. The front door is wide open, letting us see all the way through to the back windows.
"What the hell." Sage murmurs, getting out of the car.
After a moment's debate I follow, both of the girls grabbing my hands while Sage picks up a bat on his way to the porch. The twins and Scar are home but there's no tv playing or shouts, only the sound of music blaring.
"Stay here." He orders me.
I'm about to protest when Ronnie tightens her grip on my hand, I can't leave them here. He walks into the house and after what feels like forever the music cuts off as the twins walk to the door, both as pale as a ghost.
"You should probably go in." They say together, picking the girls up.
There's an eerie silence that fills the house as I walk to the kitchen, my heart stopping when I see Scarlett hunched over the sink, Gabe holding her hair back as she throws up.
What the hell happened?
*****
Hi, this is a repeat chapter but I'm excited for what's to come!! We're also almost to half a million reads and that makes me so happy.
I dropped my little brothers off for their first day of school and I feel old AF
PS! Just picked out the pick I'm gonna use for LiL's cover!!!
Be excited~ Mo