you hum to the melody of the soft music playing in the background as you hold me close. our skin seems to cling together, ( i can't tell if its from the heat of the july afternoon or from the residue of our silent broken promises ) , as if we are desperate lovers saying our last goodbyes. although we are not, i still let out a shakey laugh at the thought, as you let your skin absorb the sunlight from the windowsill.
it is on days like these i wonder if our love is true; when your earthy eyes look at me through your long lashes, so full of lust i could've swore i saw stars. when you let your lips curl into a light sigh and i can't tell my love for you is there, or if it ever was. the guilt in my conscience leaves me to wonder some nights, if you do the same.
i just can't meet your eyes when you gaze at me like im the holy grail and i can't return the way you look at me like you could drown in the way i whisper you name. im too busy looking at the blisters on my hands from trying to hold on to this lie of a happiness-fantasy-so tightly ( do you have sore knuckles too? ); my grips starting to loosen on yours. i can feel me slowly turning purple from holding my breath too long to be with you in this underwater fever dream, but i won't let you see.
( god knows i would never do that )
instead, i just softly hum the tune with you, and pray that when i hold your hand, my blisters don't sting too bad.