The first week without him was the hardest. Evidently, she was the one that broke off their relationship and he just followed her wishes. But when she found herself alone in the living room reading his song lyrics to "That's Okay" she can't help but to imagine him singing it for her. And when she was on her class break, she imagines him making his way to meet her and give her a snack in the school cafeteria. When she came home, all she thought about was if he was going to ever text her. But of course, he didn't. She couldn't blame him though because she was the one that broke it off and yet there are times where she couldn't help but to think of him.
The second week, too, was difficult. She had to endure seeing dating news articles of them that began releasing malicious and fake accounts of 'neighbors' claiming that they've seen Jihyun outside Kyungsoo's apartment during a makeout session--which of course wasn't true since Kyungsoo doesn't own an apartment because he still lives with his parents. SM and SOOP then followed up the dating news with similar statements: "We didn't know this was happening". That part was semi-true. Kyungsoo decided only to tell three people inside EXO's management and strictly asked them not to tell the higher SM people.
As for SOOP, Jihyun didn't tell anyone--atleast not yet. Eventually, she was going to but the paparazzi beat her to it. So the day after their argument, SOOP contacted Jihyun and Jihyun told them they'd broken up so there was no need to worry. As for their fans, other supported them but the majority didn't. The hashtag #CANCELDOKYUNGSOO trended for atleast five days and as well as #CANCELNAMJIHYUN and #HYUNSOORISE/#WONSHIMRISE---all of this she thought was ridiculous. She tried avoiding going on social media and reading the comments but it was too late as it became the front cover of almost every news article in South Korea.
A week later, SM and SOOP both made a statement that both had broken off their relationship--and another wave of mixed reactions from both the media and netizens exploded most of them talked about how toxic fan culture was.
Obviously for her, the past two weeks had become such a distraction to her learning environment and all she wishes was Kyungsoo was right there by her side. Other times, she wanted to pick up her phone and text him "Are you okay?" but she stops herself immediately after. It still hurt her that he was so quick to leave her when she told him "No. This will destroy us" . But she too blamed herself for telling him what they had was just a fantasy. A part of her regrets saying that but excusing her words with "I was tipsy during that time" would be a lie because a part of her also felt that being in a relationship with an extremely popular idol was just a fantasy and most importantly: that it'll destroy his career, their career, and the people around them. The way she articulated her feelings through such harsh words--she realized---would be heartbreaking for any man to hear. But the damage was already done and she thought it was time to move on now.
If she fell for him even more, she wouldn't know what to do with those feelings and from the moment she read the song lyrics in the paper, Jihyun realized she probably made one of the biggest mistakes of her life of letting him go. Even when he wasn't there, everytime she read the lyrics she felt like he was being comforted by him--and that in turn, made her want to hear his voice more and miss him more.
Just when she started to fold the paper and put it in her drawer, she got a call from a college friend asking her to buzz her inside her apartment. Jihyun quickly tidied her apartment before she could let her in.
Jihyun opened the door for her friend and greeted her. They sat down across from each other and her friend untied a bag of snacks for her.
"Snacks and soju. For a heartbroken friend. " Do-hee smiled at her friend whose sadness drained from her skin and tired face.
"Thank you. I think I need it." Jihyun told her as she gave her friend a smile back. An unfamiliar smile that Do-Hee thought was rather forced.
Do-hee took a shot of soju and glanced at her friend's reddened eyes, "Unnie~ You've been crying. Is it really over?--you and K--"
Jihyun stopped her friend from saying his name, "Yeah." she said briefly.
Jihyun had met Do-hee in one of her classes last year and began hanging out regularly with her almost every week. She was also one of the few people that knew about their relationship because Jihyun trusted her as if she was her own younger sister. There were times where Do-hee would hangout with Jihyun and Kyungsoo along with another college friend that Jihyun also trusted.
Her friend's eyes filled with concern, "How are you?" Do-hee pursed her lips together, "Geu salambogo sipeo?" (Do you miss him?)
"Hajima!" Jihyun's eyes began to water again and realizing she raised her voice at her friend she lowered it, "You came here to hangout not remind me of him." her voice was firm this time.
"Mianhae~ I just thought that talking about it would help you brighten up a bit." her friend comforted her. "But it's okay to cry, unnie~ certainly, you've been crying."
Suddenly, Jihyun remembered him again and the lyrics to the song he had written as sadness came pouring down her eyes:
The emptiness of her apartment, the cactus that she'd forgotten to water, the lack of smell of his strong cologne, and the necklace he'd given her that she never took off around her neck added to the pain she felt in her heart.
She looked away from her friend out of embarassment and looked at the clover charm around her neck. It reminded me of you and your happy~go~lucky personality. She began to wipe away the tears on her face as she reminisced about their first date in Japan. She took a shot of soju and looked up and shut her eyes while tears streamed down across her face.
"I miss him" she finally broke. She tried to catch her breath and palmed her whole face to hide it but her friend immediately moved next to her to give her a warm embrace.
The young woman stuttered again, "I--I- I miss him so much, Dohee~yah. Everything about this apartment---" She pointed at each corner that reminded her of him, "His black sweater is still hanging in my damn coat rack! And that-- that damn kitchen--He's always there!....this..." she patted the couch angrily, "This damn couch--I can see him looking up at me after a long nap... a-all i see is him. It's my apartment, but all I see is him. Why can't I forg--" she sobbed harder.
Sadness turning into frustration, Do-hee cupped her friend's face with both of her hands and looked at her, "Unnie~ " she continued, "You can't forget someone you've fallen in love with that quickly."
And it hit Jihyun. Do-hee was right. To forget a man like Do Kyungsoo was impossible specially in just two weeks. From the moment she first met him, his calm aura made her feel comfortable to the point where they became close almost immediately. His playful side brightened her dreary days. His affectionate side surprised her all the time and the way he listened to her worries and cared for her at times she couldn't take care of herself because she was busy--was all the things she wanted in a 'prince charming' she'd dream of when she was younger. And now that he was gone--two weeks, three weeks, and maybe even months would be difficult for her to just forget quite a man like Do Kyungsoo. And as of now, she wasn't sure if she was ready to forget about him and the memories they've made together.
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Author's note or whatev:
So I literally wrote this while listening to Jongdae's album and crying about Kyungsoo's graduation pics. Anyways, this is another sad chapter and I swear this will build up to something..............I also decided to have my own plot. Initially, I was gonna have Kyungsoo leave for the army in this story but we're all already missing him so why would I do that right? Haha...anyways I hope you guys enjoy and DONT FORGET to COMMENT and VOTE about things yall liked or didnt like. Again, thank you SO SO SO SO MUCH FOR READING(ALREADY AT 9,000 READS) and i know im still a beginner writer of some sort so pls tolerate it lol and thank u for being patient on all my updates. (Also if the pics look weird youd have to be on the wattpadd app)