We ‘walked’ down a green, flowery hill. I could’nt believe I was with him. I was with Dr Carlisle Cullen. Someone I wanted to see again for years. Someone I dreamt of a long time after when I first saw him. Just recently I thought of being the most unluckiest person that ever existed. After meeting Carlisle again. I feel different. I don’t know why. But I really do.
Now that I’m a vampire. I still have a deep cut in my heart. A cut which might never heal. Whenever I think of what happend with me in the past,I want to jump off a cliff again. But I obviously knew this by now: I could’nt die this easily when I was a vampire.
Eventhough that hurtful past replayed in my mind again and again, I felt better when I was beside Carlisle. Ofcourse I would. I had only been dreaming about meeting him again.
When I married Charles, I just thought that Carlisle was like a dream to me. That just came and went, but never became the truth. But as those starting days passed, and I gradually found out the ‘truth’ about him. I started dreaming of Carlisle again. In my dreams and thoughts then, I only wished if someone like Carlisle would be there for me.
I compared Charles with Carlisle.
Charles, someone who broke my heart. Someone who scratched my heart so deeply that it still has’nt healed. And maybe would’nt ever heal. He thought he had’nt done enough to me before, that he came back. Came back, and tortured me again.
My Son, I had thought. I would keep him away from Charles. Eventhough, Charles was his father, I would move somewhere else; very far from him. It would be just him, and me. We would live happily ever after. Mother and Son. But no, there did’nt have to be a happy ending. Infact a even worse ending to my human life.
My dreams being shattered away like they did’nt matter: My Son going away from me forever, even before his birth.
The thought of that made me shudder ( I was shocked to find out that vampires also shuddered, they also had feelings).
On the other hand was Carlisle. The person of my dreams. He’d filled my world with joyful dreams the first time I’d seen him. And once again he was here. Beside me, once again trying to heal that wound on inside my heart.
This world can have such different personalities living on it. Like different flavours. Its just unbelievable if you haven’t gone through what I have. I did’nt believe in these saying aswell a few years ago. But now, I do.
Carlisle knew that there was something going on my mind.
He looked into my eyes again.
‘Can you try forgetting the hard time of your time for me?’ He requested in his soft voice.
I looked into his eyes. I knew he could feel what was inside me. I could feel he did.
Ofcourse I wanted to forget those times aswell. And I would try to that for him.
But the main problem was: How?
‘Make me forget them’. I asked him.
He smiled.
‘Let’s go hunting first.’ He smiled.
‘Yeah’. The strange itch in my throat was unbearable now.
Now we actually ‘ran’. Ran like a vampire did. It was like we were running in the air.
Carlisle had told me most of the things about vampires. But I know there is still alot to know.
I want to save that for later. At the moment, I’m scared about the thirst in me. That might be dangerous to humans nearby (if there were any).
I justed want to get over this first. There’s a more than a whole life left.