TWs: Reckless Character Endangerment
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Dorcas' party was better than his party had been. He had to admit when he was beaten, and hell did that girl know how to throw a party, Sirius thought to himself, equal parts envious and impressed.
They laughed, and danced, and shouted to one another over the instruments gathered and bewitched from several very generous students. Sirius couldn't believe he hadn't thought of something so brilliant. His party had truly seemed childish in comparison.
"That's not true, Sirius," James had assured him after he vocally voiced his fears.
"Yeah, it is."
"Is not! That game of truth and dare will be legendary. Legendary, I tell you!" James sighed dramatically as if imagining the multiple generations hearing of such glory. Sirius laughed and shoved him.
None of them wanted to go to Astronomy. All of them were much more tired than they usually were at midnight. But they all knew they had to as Professor Tablica marked them down heavily for absences. So ten minutes later, they all stood on top of the astronomy tower bundled in their winter robes and huddled together in their perspective groups for warmth. But Sirius' group was one man down, which happened far too often for his liking.
"Blimey, did Remus go off on his own again? I warned him he'd end up missing a class one of these days with his nose in a book."
"Bet we have enough time to run down to the dorm and fetch him. Maybe he's asleep. He's seemed more tired than usual lately."
Sirius knew this was true, but still felt annoyed. However, Remus was one of them, so he went over to their quiet professor whose eyes were always trained on the sky.
"Professor Tablica, our friend seems to have fallen asleep. Can we run and fetch him?"
She pulled her eyes away from the stars and the waxing moon as if it was physically painful.
"If you hurry," she responded in her melodious voice that caused all students to struggle not to fall asleep in her class. It wasn't as bad as History of Magic, but it was awfully close.
"She said we could," he explained. The three of them, or two, because Peter couldn't keep up, rushed to their dorm. It hadn't occurred to Sirius that Remus wouldn't be there. He looked at James confused.
"That's not like him."
"Well, he probably couldn't study because of the noise. We don't have time to check the library and it's technically past hours."
"Then he wouldn't be at the library anyway," he pointed out impatiently, his worry gnawing at him.
"Come on Sirius, let's get back to class. We can give him hell about it tomorrow."
Sirius reluctantly agreed but he had a bad feeling something was wrong. It was nearly impossible to focus on stupid stars.
He had found his feelings were usually right. He had told Narcissa about it once when they were much younger, but she had scoffed at him and accused him of making it up. But even she had to believe him a little bit when he complained to her of such a feeling an hour before their great uncle died of a heart attack.
Still, he could be wrong. There were times when he had been wrong. Oh, how he wished he hoped wrong.
Halfway through class, the door to the tower opened. He hoped it would be Remus, but knew with sickening certainty it wouldn't be.
Something was very wrong!
Now everyone in the class at least suspected it too. Because all eyes were on Professor McGonagall, who stood in the entranceway, face grim.
"Nelly, you need to cancel the class for the night," she commanded. McGonagall's lips pressed together in a thin line. Her eyes danced, almost nervously, across all the students. They lingered briefly on Lily, and on the three of them.
Sirius felt like he might throw up.
Ever since he had befriended Remus, he had the feeling the boy might just vanish one day. He didn't know what he would do if that was the case.
Sirius must have imagined the lingering gaze. He knew he had a tendency to be quite dramatic. Usually, it was when he wanted to be but sometimes it was more unconscious. But then the professor walked over to them.
"Professor, what's wrong?" James asked, sounding as worried as Sirius felt. She said nothing, just looked at them sadly which was somehow much worse. Then, at last, she seemed to find her voice.
"Ms. Meadows, Ms. Evans please come over here."
Dorcas and Lily both did so, their faces so full of joy mere hours earlier now devoid of any trace of it.
"It's not my parents, is it?" Lily asked in a small voice, clutching Dorcas' hand very tightly.
Sirius wanted to feel annoyed at her. Obviously it wasn't that, or the three of them wouldn't be standing here, but he just felt tired and...wrong. It all felt wrong. There was only one person that connected all five of them together, a person who was missing, who should be here but wasn't.
It was all so wrong!
"No, Miss Evans. It's not your parents."
"Because Muggles have been disappearing a lot and I've been terrified they'd be next."
"No Miss Evans, that's not it," Professor McGonagall responded, with more patience than he could have, with more patience than he did have.
"What happened to Remus?" Sirius demanded, and Lily let out a gasp. One of the brightest students finally putting the pieces together much slower than she should have. Professor McGonagall eyed him like she wished she could deny it, but they all knew she couldn't.
"There has been...Well, I won't say an accident. We are investigating what happened. It seems...well...right now it seems like Remus Lupin jumped from a fourth-story window, but-"
"He would never! Sure he seems to be sad a lot, but he'd never! He's a fighter!"
"A true Gryffindor," James added next to him in a strangled whisper.
"Calm down, Mr. Black. I was going to say it seems there has been foul play and I assure you we are looking into it."
"Good, because he'd never do that!" Sirius retorted firmly, no doubt in his mind.
"I know, Mr. Black. I agree with you."
"But...he's a Muggleborn, isn't he? So isn't it whoever poisoned the other student?" Peter asked slowly, as if he couldn't quite believe what was happening, as if this was all just a bad dream caused by eating too much sugar. Oh, how Sirius wished it was. The Black heir reached to pinch himself, but he didn't think he could handle it if he knew without a shadow of a doubt this was their reality.
"No, but..." Professor McGonagall looked, for a fraction of a second like she was going to say something, but then decided immediately not to. Her hesitance was almost unnoticeable, but Sirius was on high alert right now. His suspicion of all the professors at Hogwarts was high ever since Remus had hinted the poisoning might be one of them. Because of Remus, Sirius was able to pick up on such a thing.
"...We are looking into it considering how close the incidents happened together," she finished smoothly. Sirius was about to ask when they could see him when Lily asked something that made his blood run cold.
"He's not dead, right? Professor, please tell me he's not dead?" she asked frantically, tears running down her ghostly white cheeks.
Sirius hadn't even considered that possibility. He staggered back from the telescope he had before been crowding around. As he backed up against the battlements he nearly fell off the tower himself. Luckily McGonagall caught his arm, eyes flashing with concern. She only let him go once he sat down. The professor then made all the students do so for good measure.
Lily and Dorcas huddled close together for warmth and comfort. Lily was clutching Dorcas' hand as well as James' hand tightly. Hell, if Severus was here and kept his mouth shut, James would probably be clutching his hand too. Two seconds was all it took for their head of the house to answer, but two seconds had never stretched nor felt so long.
"No, he's not."
They all let out a collective breath. Their head of house still looked far too grim for Sirius' liking.
"However, he is currently in a coma. It..." she seemed hesitant to say more.
"It what?" Sirius heard himself ask sharply. He practically growled at the professor, as if she was the one who caused this. Sirius knew it wasn't fair, knew if it was any other day he'd receive several detentions for his lip. But he'd take that over this any day. He'd serve a detention every day for the rest of his life over this in a heartbeat.
"It's a miracle he survived," she finished, not even commenting on Sirius' misplaced anger. For out of all the professors he knew he could trust McGonagall, the pain and concern in her usually stern eyes simply could not be faked.
"When...can we see him?" asked Dorcas who had pulled something out of her pocket and was clutching it to her chest, face as grim as McGonagall's. Sirius realized it was a hand-knitted quill holder, a quill already sticking out of it. The little thing was much neater than the scarves Remus had made them but he knew it was his handiwork. Remus must have given Dorcas a present because it was just the kind of ridiculously kind thing he'd do.
He thought the girls were the only ones crying as tears slid down Dorcas' cheeks, then realized Peter had stuffed his shirt into his mouth to quiet his sobs. James was staring straight ahead looking stricken, a few tears rolling down his cheeks.
Bunch of pansies, Sirius thought. Remus would be fine, they'd see. This would be just like the time he bet against James when Remus was playing chess. He was constantly surprising them, he'd surely do it again. If it was a miracle Remus was alive there would be another miracle, he didn't see why not.
"Mr. Black...Mr. Black. Here," McGonagall finally said, holding out a handkerchief to him.
He didn't need a stupid handkerchief, but he took it because it reminded him of Remus offering it to him long ago. Surely they had been friends for years, not months, for it sure felt that way. It wasn't until his fingers closed around the handkerchief that he realized he was shaking, that he realized he too was sobbing.
"I'll let you know as soon as you can," she promised them.
"Let's get you back to the common room."
"No," James' hoarse whisper was now very demanding and not much of a whisper at all. Professor McGonagall looked surprised then just looked very tired and older than her actual age.
"We'll wait outside the hospital ward," James finished, the words seeming to push more tears out of his eyes. Professor McGonagall looked around at five tear-stained faces and didn't seem to have the heart to argue.
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It was a long quiet night. No one spoke, they just all held each other's hand. Even Peter, who would never have been caught dead holding a girl's hand, clutched Dorcas' like a lifeline. They cried and no one teased them. Prefect Liam approached them with more kindness than Sirius thought possible for the power flaunting prefect. He came with mugs of hot cocoa which no one took and blankets which he draped around them a bit awkwardly when he realized they weren't moving.
Somewhere between the fear and resilience and grief, they all passed out, leaning heads against shoulders. Whose shoulder it was didn't matter. They all felt impossibly young and old at the same time, and just like that, they fell asleep.
Thursday morning came too soon. Most of the school was happy and surprised when classes were canceled. Sirius hated them for being happy, even though very few people were privy to the information of what happened last night. Professor McGonagall greeted them soon afterward. It was a relief to see a face that wasn't peering at them with curiosity or amusement like the students who passed had, with their whispered rumors about what would cause the unlikely group to be together.
But relief turned to irritation as she made them go to their common room to get cleaned up and changed.
"You can come right back," she assured them when protests began to rise. Her tone was kind but left no room for argument. Physically speaking, Sirius felt a bit better after a hot shower and a change of clothes. Emotionally, he still felt dead. Their head of house also made them eat soup for lunch in the common room, where no one else was allowed in as they were all supposed to be in the Great Hall anyways. Then, she escorted them back outside the hospital wing doors.
The large doors blocking them from Remus had never seemed so daunting and impenetrable before. Lily broke down in hysterics and Peter nearly did as well after Dorcas asked fearfully if Remus would live to no one in particular. Sirius would have socked Dorcas if he wasn't too busy crying. He took it as a really bad sign that their head of house brought out the nerve-calming tonic for Lily and Peter rather than the matron.
It really spoke to their emotional state when neither James nor Sirius commented on Severus who came around 2 pm. It also spoke to Severus' emotional state when, Sirius was sure, for the first time in his life, he wasn't a selfish twat. He glanced briefly at them, his gaunt face appearing more gaunt than usual, but maybe everyone just looked sad to Sirius right now. He couldn't be sure.
Severus sat silently with Lily, who clung to him tightly and for a while. Sirius forgot he existed. Then he spotted him once he turned his head, just scanning to make sure they were all still alive, that a hole hadn't opened up and swallowed them and this whole ridiculous situation, not that he'd care much if it swallowed Severus.
Because in the same way, Sirius recognized Remus' handiwork in Dorcas' quill holder he recognized it in Sev-Snivellus'. The grimy git was holding it, looking at it with furrowed brows while Lily leaned against his shoulder dozing from the calming effects of the tonic.
Sirius would have throttled Severus for daring to hold something that clearly shouldn't be his, but Peter, the other recipient of the tonic, was asleep with his head in Sirius' lap. Instead, he glared menacingly at Snivellus until he finally saw him. Sirius' anger grew when the slimy toad didn't glare back like he normally would, but looked away with something akin to guilt on his ugly features.
Sirius let out a low growl of utter rage. Remus was too damn nice for his own good. If he woke up, Sirius was going to have a serious talk to him about who to waste his time on, Snivellus not being one of them.
He froze and stared at the ground that was becoming oddly blurry. He had thought... if Remus woke up...no it wasn't if, it was when. He might be surrounded by doubters, but Sirius knew Remus would recover, he just knew it, because Remus had to.
In the meantime, Sirius had to tear Snivellus apart limb from limb until he got whatever confession the sleazy grime ball coughed up. For he knew Snivellus knew what had happened to Remus as much as he knew Remus would wake up and scold Sirius for dismantling Snivellus.
Sirius was about to move Peter carefully off him before violently launching himself at the intruder in their midst but was stopped by the hospital doors opening. He jumped up forgetting about Peter who was roughly jarred awake.
"You can each visit him for a few minutes. One at a time, please." Madam Pomfrey looked like she had aged ten years in one night.
"Me!" Sirius demanded.
James and Dorcas let him, while Peter and Lily were just now beginning to realize what had happened. The matron nodded, and Sirius left them to fight over who would be second. Visiting Remus was the most important thing right now. After he was done with that, if Snivellus was still there he'd pummel him into the dirt.