Aesthetic
•
forced
/fôrst/
adjective
obtained or imposed by coercion or physical power.
1.
"the brutal regime of forced labor"
•
Ezio
I wanted to hear her speak so badly but she refused or would give me one-worded replies. She has no idea how much my body craves for her... listening to her speak, even if it's her begging me to release her or her apologizing when I lose my temper, makes my body relax. She's the living breathing version of a Xanax... not having her close to me makes me lose my mind, I feel on edge all the time whenever we're apart. I'm sure even though she's scared of me, she feels the same, she has to.
When I compliment her or simply tucking a strand of her beautiful hair behind her ear, always causes a deep blush to appear on her beautiful full cheeks. I stare at her sitting form as she took another bite of her food. She always looked so cute in my clothing, I loved the way my shirts would hug her small body. I know she loves them too, she hasn't complained about the clothing or has said anything about wanting clothes that fit her... I'm not complaining either, she can have all my clothing, all she has to do is ask. If she wanted me on my knees, I would do it in a heartbeat. She has me wrapped around her finger— but does she need to know that? No.
I watched as a small line formed between her eyebrows, her teeth digging into her bottom lip... she looked lost in thought, a frown formed on my lips, my hand moving forward as I wrap my fingers around hers, causing her to jump slightly, her eyes darting to mine. Her breathing quickened, her body tensing under my touch making a small sting of sadness hit my chest.
"Is something wrong, love?" I couldn't help but ask, a worried expression on my face. The pad of my thumb rubbing circles over her delicate knuckles, her green eyes drilling holes into my dark ones until she averted her gaze, her teeth digging into the corner of her mouth as she sits there and thinks. Her eyes find mine again before she shook her head "no" at my question, making me sigh softly.
My gaze leaves her, landing on her flat stomach. My baby's going to be in there— our baby. I've imagined this a thousand times and I still can't wrap my head around it... I'm going to be a father. A small smile forms on my lips, I'm going to be better than him, my child won't be anything like my father, I won't allow it... even if I did follow in his footsteps, I can't let my child do the same.
Leah places her hand over her stomach, causing my eyes to flicker on hers. I felt my ears get warm from embarrassment, I didn't realize I was staring at her stomach for so long. I wanted to apologize but I shut my mouth, I have nothing to apologize for, I can't help how excited I am to be a father. I hope Leah is as excited as I am, even if she doesn't know... before I could stop myself, my mouth spoke for me.
"How would you feel if you had my baby?"
Her eyes immediately widened, as I stared at the woman before me, I can physically see her world crumble before her eyes. Her breathing was erratic, the pulse on her neck peeked through. Her nails were subconsciously digging into the skin of my hand, making me wince slightly.
"I'm too young to be having a child," She stated, her hand leaving mine, instead of arguing with her and telling her she has no choice in the matter, I leaned back on my dining chair, my arms going over my chest as I tap my boots against the wooden floor. She started at me like she had realized something, her throat moving indicating that she had swallowed, making a smile appear on my lips.
"We're moving," I say simply, my arm going over the table, grabbing her dirty dish as I place it on top of mine. I stood on my feet, the sound of my chair screeching filled the thick air around us. Before I could walk over the sink and clean our dirty dish, the sound of Leah whimpering made me freeze in place. I released the plates, quickly kneeling down in front of her, my hand landing on her soft thighs.
"What's wrong, love?"
"I thought you loved me... why are you taking me away from my family? I thought maybe one day you would let me see them! Why are you taking me further away from them!" She screamed, her hands balling into fists as she glared down at me. I have never seen this side of Leah before, I'm used to her being shy, stuttering with each reply...
"I do love you, but I– we have to leave, it's for our own safety–" She quickly cuts me off.
"Fuck you!" She lifted her hand quickly, landing the final blow, the sharp sting making me fall back on my ass. The sound of her chair scraping against the floor followed by the sound of her feet slamming against the wooden floor reached my ears. My fingertips glide under my right eye, I could feel the warm thick liquid run down my cheek, landing on the pads of my fingers. Moving them in front of my view, I stare at the scarlet substance, my jaw clenching.
Did she just stab me with a plastic fucking fork?
I stood on my feet, my hands balled into fists, I couldn't stop myself from flipping the dining table over. Glass shattering around the place as one of my boots collided with the table's leg, snapping it in the process. How fucking dare she? After all I have done for her? I fed her, bathed her, gave her a place to sleep and this is how she repays me? By stabbing my eye and running away, again?
All I wanted was for us to be able to leave the house together and not have the police or bystanders know she's the girl that has been missing for a month now. I want us to be happy, I don't want her to feel like she's trapped, but I guess that's what she wants me to do, to tie her to a fucking bed and never let her leave. Once we leave this place, she will be in lockdown for as long as she's alive. Fuck being nice, she doesn't deserve my kindness.
"If that's how you want to play– then let's play, Leah." I bellowed, the glass crunching beneath my boots as I walked through the house, stopping in front of a drawer. The sound of the drawer slamming open and shut making a smile form on my lips, my fingers wrapping themselves around the blade. I wasn't going to use this on her, honestly. My intentions were never to harm her but she has left me no choice.
This is her punishment.
I stood at the end of the slightly narrowed hallway, my fingers tightening around the handle of my blade. I thought I would never be put in this situation again, I vouched to never use a knife after that terrifying incident. What would my mother think of me? I promised I wouldn't turn out like him, that I would never use anything to harm another human being but— I have no choice, I have to do this. It's either this or laying my hand on her, which will harm our child and her.
I can't allow myself to harm our baby.
"This is your last warning, my love... I promise your punishment won't be as harsh if you just come out from your hiding spot." I sang, my pointer finger playing with the sharp point of the blade, sinking the metal deeper into my flesh, a small droplet of blood revealing itself, dripping onto the wooden floor below me. She made no move on coming out, leaving me with no choice. Pressing the blade against the wall as I walked slowly, the sound of metal scraping against the wall filling up the deadly silent air, goosebumps forming on my skin with each step I took.
The sound of a door clicking into place made my ears perk up, a smirk slowly forming on my lips, my nails digging into the handle of my knife. Gotcha, Leah. I followed the sound until I was stood in front of the door of my bedroom. Here? Out of all the rooms you choose this room, Leah? My free hand grips the door handle, the coldness from it making me shiver slightly. The click of the door shutting behind me echoed inside the room, making the atmosphere more intense than it already was.
I stayed there as I listened, waiting for any sound to come from Leah... I know she's here, she has nowhere to hide. I opened the door once again, my feet rising and falling, mimicking the sound of me exiting through the door, shutting a second later. The sound of Leah sighing softly reached my ears. Softly walking towards the closet, my fingertips twitching as I moved my hand forward, touching the handle.
Roughly pulling the closet doors open, my eyes landed on my lover, her eyes were wide with terror, her hand pressed against her chest. I gripped her arm, pushing her back against my front, my sharpen blade gliding over the skin of her neck.
"Tag, you're it," I whispered against her ear, my hold tightening around her small frame. My breath fanning against her skin, causing a shiver to run up her spine, making a smile form on my lips. Even after causing me so much trouble, she still reacts to my touch, my words, me. I glided my nose over the skin of her neck, reaching where her shoulder and neck meet, pressing a soft kiss against it. I was about to turn her body around, so I could stare at her beautiful face. I so desperately wanted to see the blush forming on her cheeks, but before I could, her foot lifted, landed on top of mine, a painful grunt leaving my lips as my tightening loosens.
She took the opportunity to turn around, her knee connecting with my crotch, my knees buckling beneath me.
Fuck, Leah.
Her foot connected with my ribs, my breath leaving my lungs as I stared wide-eyed up at her, I didn't realize I dropped my knife the moment she hit me, I try to locate it while my eyes stayed on hers, I don't want her finding it— she's proven to me that she will indeed kill me if she has the chance to.
"Leah–"
"I'm not scared of you – you fucking psycho!" She growled above me, making my eyes widen and a sly smirk forming on my lips. Has my kitten finally learned to use her claws? I guess I have to put her back in her place, I run the show here, take a seat and enjoy, sweetheart. Before she could land another kick at my ribs, I wrapped my hand around her ankle, pulling her down with me. My free hand extending upwards, locating the knife she knocked out of my grasp.
When she landed on top of me, I flipped us over, pinning her body with my own. Wrapping my hand tightly around her wrists, pinning them above her head, leaving her helpless underneath me. That didn't stop her from struggling, making me bite down harshly on my bottom lip. My eyes connected with hers the moment my fingertips made contact with my blade, making me chuckle darkly down at her.
"Your fun is over, Leah, now it's my turn to have some fun."
She opened her mouth, surely to insult me once more but the sound of clothing ripping halted her. Tears started forming in the corners of her eyes as my hated gaze glided over her exposed chest. I did warn her— she deserves every bit of pain I'm about to cause. Even though it will pain me to see her delicate skin be damaged, I'll have to put my feelings aside today.
Applying my full weight on her, making her sob loudly into the air, I moved the blade slowly, from her red cheeks, to her fragile neck, down to her stomach. This is where I'll brand her, mark her as mine. Every time she looks at her stomach, every moment her fingers brush over the scars that it will leave— she will always be reminded of me, her one and only lover. The man who took claim of her virginity, her sanity, and the reason why there's a life forming in her womb. I will and always be permanently in the back of her mind.
Like livestock getting branded with a hot iron.
After this, no man will look at her the same. She won't be able to move on, even after death, I will always be there, with her, watching over her and reminding her of what we had.
The sound of her screaming in pure agony makes my eyes roll into the back of my head. I still can't get over how beautiful she sounds, if she were a siren, I'd happily walk deeper into the ocean, allowing her to control my mind, to take my soul. I pull my bottom lip in between my teeth as I stare at the first letter of my name, carved deep into the flesh of her pale stomach. I leaned down, kissing under her eyes as I watch the stream of tears run down her cheeks, leaving stains on them.
"It will be over soon, baby, just hold on," I whispered lovingly to her, causing her to dig her nails into my hand, making me tighten my grip on them...
I released my hold around her wrists along with the blade, the metal hitting the wooden floor with a "clank", small droplets of blood staining the floor beneath us, my hands matching it. I stare at the words I carved on my scared rabbit's stomach, the corners of my mouth twitching upwards. My finger quickly landed on the first letter, tracing each line I inflicted, watching her squirm and whimper beneath me.
Mine. Mine. Mine.
I chanted over and over in my mind as I stare at the art I created, a sense of pride washing over me. I stood on my feet, Leah laid there, not daring to move an inch... good girl. I leaned down, my warms going under her legs and back, lifting her up. I should just drop her down in the basement, let her suffer, perhaps let her wound get more irritated by not treating it but even after all I've done to her and all she's done to me, I don't have the heart to do it... plus I have to treat my eye, but first, I will take care of my baby. I kicked the door of the bathroom open, my hold on the Leah tightening so I wouldn't drop her. I sat her down on the counter softly, a hiss leaving her lips.
"Don't move," I command as I glare down at her, making her cowered back... what happened to not being scared? I almost scoffed. I leaned down, turning the faucet on, letting the tub get filled with warm water. After what felt like forever, the tub was filled. I walked back towards her, lifting her in my grasps, before she could argue with me and tell me to leave, I place her down in the warm water, making her gasps.
Slipping off the boxers she was wearing, dropping the soaked clothing onto the floor, I slowly run my hands over her skin. She winced with each touch, making me deeply regret what I had done. Why do I act on my actions then regret them later? Before I met her, I wouldn't have cared if I harmed a woman or man. They would throw themselves at me, wanting me to do as I please with them— to use them. They craved it more than I did... so why does it make my heart clench painfully when I harm her?
She deserves it, every pain you inflict on her. The devil on my shoulder whispered, the angel glaring back to him. I shake my head, wanting them to leave me alone, I just want to spend my time with Leah without having voices tell me what to do or what not to. I can make my own choices, I can do as I please, I do not need you to control me... I am capable to do that on my own.
"You know I love you, right?" I asked softly, my breath making her wet hair move slightly. My soap covered hand gliding up and down her arms, until I reached her hips, moving down to her thighs. She didn't respond, making me frown. Her tensed back didn't go unnoticed, my frown deepening further. I deserve whatever she throws at me, I shouldn't have done what I did, even if she did attack me first, I shouldn't have punished her the way that I did. I shake my hand in the water, ridding the soap from it.
My fingertips glide over my swollen eye, making me hiss softly. She did a number on me, I'll have to praise her for that. I never expected her to go full psycho on me, I guess you do anything in the heat of the moment.
After dressing Leah and placing her in the bed, I couldn't force myself to leave, I know she wants to be alone after our eventful day but I just can't. I knelt down next to her sleeping form, my hand pushing away her curly hair from her face, the pad of my thumb grazing her soft, pale cheeks. I need to figure out what I have to do for tomorrow, I don't want to drug her again, I'm scared it might harm our child somehow... I wish she would just work with me instead of against me. I understand her home is here, her friends— family but I need her, I need her more than she needs her family.
Pressing my lips against her forehead, I stood on my feet as I walk towards the door frame, stopping as I placed my hand on the wooden frame, throwing one last glance at her.
I'm sorry, Leah.
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