" I thought I was moving on, Until one day someone asked me
' if you had one wish, what would it be? ' and the first thing I thought of, was to waste that wish on you".. - anonymous
Gizelle's POV
The days were regular as I knew I'd come to face the same bullshit.. everyday. Seeing Tymir and his girlfriend in the hallways and on certain days in the same class as I, always made me sick to my stomach. I forced myself to look away when they entered the hallways with their bullshit.
Everything was bullshit to me. But I soon occupied my mind onto a boy I was introduced to on the first day. He was my type on one condition; being tall. Every day I seen him or the other way around, we'd hug. I loved tall niggas. Tymir wasn't as tall as him but he was taller than me and that was all that mattered.
"I feel like you and Tymir would be more cute together" Rashawn said popping his gum. I imagined the two of us being like how he was with his girl and I felt the pit of my stomach turn as I knew it was too good to be true.
"Maybe one day you'll have that chance"
I sighed and scrolled on my phone with a smal pout. Rashawn shoved the shit out of my shoulder. "Girl, don't be pressed over that nigga. You're the first pretty new girl I've come across that can actually get any nigga in here. You better flaunt that big booty and curve you got to go along with that pretty face! act like you know!" He snapped with a goofy smile which made me smile but I knew he was serious even if he couldnt keep a straight face.
All my life I've dealt with boys that were low of my standards, going through drama and arguments just because I didn't know how to pick a good nigga. "He'll be single soon and I bet he'll snipe you first" Rashawn said with a grin as we walked side by side down the hall.
We glanced at Tymir and his girl and I soon felt the heat rise from my insides. I had to have him one way or another. But I wasn't about to stay pressed onto this boy's situation.
I swallowed my thoughts while we passed them and proceeded to class. Before I could enter the class, Rashawn tugged at my arm making me jolt back and give him a credulous look. I kept my widened eyes on him as he did the same.
"What nigga?" I asked stomping my foot.
"Bitch he was looking at you".
My heart raced and a smile snuck onto my face. Rashawn laughed at me and began walking away. I stood there for a quick second before whisper yelling for him to come back.
"What bitch?"
"How was he staring at me?"
He sighed and as extra as he was, reinacted the whole scene I missed. He stood in one position, saying this was them. Then acting out us walking by before going back to the first position.
"Come in the class" My teacher said from inside the doorway.
"And then he lifted his head from the ground and his eyes landed on you and he never took his eyeballs off you even when you walked into the stair way" with that information, I knew my fantasies of being with him would soon come true.
But it was gonna take time. Lots of it. By the end of the day I huffed in annoyance while going to my seat.
;
"Bitch what's in your coochie now?" Rashawn asked boring his eyes into mine. I rolled them. "When is he gon break up with that bitch!?" I yelled but only loud enough for him to hear. "Girl, take your mind off him and soon enough the nigga gon come to you".
I relaxed myself, looking around the long cafeteria as people stood in line for their food or ate away like they hadn't ate in days. Soon, Tymir came into sight walking in a straight line to the other side of the building. His eyes never landed on me but I was okay with that. I could stare all I want.
Fingers snapped in my face, breaking my concentration. "Bitch pay attention!" He shouted while pointing at his makeup tools. He pulled out edge control and confusion soon crawled onto my face.
"Boy the fuck you gon do with that? you got nigga naps and nigga hair with no type of baby hairs to lay that crunchy shit down" I snorted as he opened the small container with a stank lipped look.
"bitch shut up and watch" he said while fingering up some edge control on his finger and grasping the tooth brush with his other hand. People watched from around us, laughing. I grew embarrassed for him as he applied the gel on his hairline and dragged the brush in a 'swoop' type of angle.
I covered a laugh with a cough as he continued doing the same shit over and over. "Nigga stop, u got people laughing at cho' ass" I pulled at his wrist but he only yanked it back.
"Girl. I don't care they can laugh all they want half these bitches dont even got edges to lay down. don't get me started bitchhh" he formed both fists up as if he was ready to fight, motioning his head back and forth. To my fortunate luck, the bell rung and Rashawn began packing his belongings in his fanny pack.
"You ever smoked before?"
I asked Rashawn as we walked out of the school. He began pulling out his jacket from his bookbag to wear over his hoodie. "Hell no, but you gon teach me?" he responded, shuffling his bookbag back over his shoulders.
"Zip it back up" He requested.
"Nigga why you ain' zip it up before putting it over your shoulder?" I asked in annoyance and he stopped when he noticed I went to go zip it up for him.
"Because, bitch, you my slave you do what I say period't" He joked sticking his tongue out, earning a hard shove forward.
"Oh look, it's your nigga" Rashawn teased. I looked around and for sure, it was him at the corner of the street talking to other boys. I felt my insecurities on high alert as I realized I was in full view to look at. "Act normal" I said to Rashawn, sweating bullets.
"Bitch you act normal" He huffed while staring across the street. I kept my head down but made sure I presented my self well. As we crossed the street, I felt the need to switch a little bit more.
I calmed down as we soon got to the other side and got farther from where Tymir was.
"He wasn't looking this time" Rashawn suddenly said and that made me feel some type of way. Did he just notice me for a one time thing and thats it?
I acted nonchalant and glanced up at Rashawn. "He's missing out thats all" I said sounding confident but in the inside, I wanted his attention every day. Even if It was gonna hurt me in the end..
The weekend came and went and soon school was back in session. Rashawn came up to me in the hallway with a surprised look on his face. I stared back curiously looking at him.
"They broke up" He stated, searching my face for my first reaction. I hid my excitement and shrugged. His smile dropped and he shoved me into my locker. "Bitch now act like that didn't make your coochie tingle" He said while applying blistex onto his lips.
I sighed, slamming my locker shut. "They'll get back together soon. It doesn't matter. I'm living in false hope at this point" I truthfully said. Id been thinking about this nigga and how shit would play out and It wouldnt end well for my heart.
"I bet he tried to talk to you" Rashawn chimed as I entered my second period. My first class was boring and nothing much happened in there. When I entered, I had to hand in an assignment that was due today.
I placed the paper on the teacher's table and made my way to my seat. As I turned around, He was there sitting in is assigned seat staring at me. My body instantly heated up as my legs shook a bit. I felt like I was gonna fall any minute under his stare. By the time I got to his seat he grabbed my wrist, making my heart hop out of my mouth.
"I remember you" He said lowly, smirking at me. I smirked in return even when in the inside of my body I was on fire from his grip on my wrist. "I ain' know you went here" I said sounding confident. His eyes roamed my body every now and then causing me to feel slightly uncomfortable under his gaze. "I ain' know YOU went here either. Stop being a stranger. Give me your number" he asked. In the back of my more concentrated thoughts I noticed kids coming into the class.
"I'll direct message you it" I said before pulling my wrist back. For some reason, I wish I hadn't pulled away. I wanted his touch because without it, I felt oddly different. I sat into my seat excited that the day had finally came.
Without hesitation, I went to his social media page and sent my number. He texted me while home room was still continuing.
Him: Yo pretty😩😍
Me: Lol, hey☺️
Him: You're the prettiest brownskin girl in this school, no lie
Me: Im not that pretty😩
I smiled ear to ear as my eyes stayed glued to my phone. I didnt even realize Rashawn walked into the class and sat across from me.
Him: Trust me, you are. But I look better in person, Don't I?
I Squealed to myself silently as I was about to truthfully tell him that he was definitely handsome. His smile was to die for and It made me want to do things I never would agree for with any one else.
Me: Yeah you do.
Him: Lol, handsome young nigga. When you gon be mine?
I almost choked on my spit, coughing continuously. Rashawn immediately began patting my back, passing me a unopened water bottle out his bag.
"Here bitch" He said shoving the bottle in my face. I took it and drunk quickly, leaving the bottle half way full.
"Damn hoe" he whispered. Soon the bell rung and We were off to our third period class. I steadily concentrated on where i was walking while texting Tymir. "Are yall texting each other?" Rashawn asked.
I nodded my head and continued typing. "He looks focused onto his phone like you are in yours" he added on. I looked up and surely he was. Tymir was standing near a group of boys in the hallway as if they were posted on the block.
He stood in the back against the wall with his head lowered and his phone supported in his hands. I looked down at my screen and he was currently typing back to me. He sent his message and I replied before slipping my phone into my back pocket.
Rashawn parted ways as it was his lunch period. I walked alone quietly as everybody else entered their class. "Wait up!" An all too familiar voice that made me shudder shouted from down the hall.
Turning around, It was him jogging towards me. "You got english 3 too?" he asked once he was inches away from me. I noddes my head, not wanting to speak up. He slipped his hand onto my arm and pulled me to him.
"You're so quiet as if you nervous" He said low enough for me to hear. I scrunched my face up and smiled. "Boy bye, ain' nobody nervous"
lying my ass off.
"Why did yall break up?" I asked suddenly, not even realizing how bold I was to ask but I soon pushed that thought back knowing I deserved to know.
"She went to a party when I told her don't and didn't answer none of my calls, I can't trust shit like that so I dumped her" He said with a shrug. I was more on the girl's side than his. He was probably only insecure because he cheats so he thinks in his head she gon cheat back.
I nodded my head slowly even If i didn't agree with his decision. He wouldnt be speaking to me if he hadnt made that choice.
He was already making me late to class but again, I didn't mind. He held his arms out and a wave of weird feelings fluttered in my chest.
"Gimme hug"
I tried to look like I was hesitating but the second he said it I wanted to run into his arms and wrap myself around him. I slowly walked to him and welcomed in that cologne he had on that made me really want to never let go. Embracing for only a couple minutes, I let go.
I wanted more hugs but didn't want to push it. "I'll be in there later, go ahead" He nodded his head towards the class. I just nodded and turned on my heel. I liked being told what to do.
Sitting in the back, I felt lightheaded and mixed emotions from what just happened. Sighing I put my head down and watched the rest of the kids talk their heads off. The door opened and without even glancing up, I knew it was him.
It was weird how I could tell if it was him and not anybody else just by the way he walks or a quick guess. He pulled a seat next to me and sat down, leaving me breathless.
"You're so pretty" he said once lowly as he focused on me. I kept my head down and controlled my heart beat. I felt my homegirl downstairs begin to moisten as I stared at him for way too long.
"Like what you see?" He asked smirking. I laughed which caused him to laugh. I opened my eyes and seen him smile as he looked away and chuckled.
"Do that again" I whispered and I stared at his lips.
"Do what?" he arched his eyebrow, fixing his posture in his seat so he was now facing me with his legs under the table.
"Smile".
He smiled again without a word and I wish my eyes had a built in camera to photograph that genuine smile.