warning: one use of homophobic slur. sorry.
***
"Moony."
"Moo-ny."
"Moony!"
"For Christ's sake what?!"
"I'm bored."
Remus rolled his eyes and went back to writing. He pretended he couldn't feel Sirius hanging off his arm or his big grey eyes staring at him.
"Moony, please."
"What the hell do you want me to do?"
Sirius smirked, leaning on the other boy's shoulder. Remus could feel soft hair tickling his neck, and electricity danced down his spine.
"Surprise me."
"What if I say no?"
Sirius moved closer. "I'll keep annoying you."
A shrug. "That's not new, so I don't care."
"Come on, Moony," Sirius whined. "Distract me somehow."
Remus gasped. "Is me just being myself not distracting enough for you?"
"It is, but it would be even more distracting if you payed attention to me."
"Lupin! Black!" called Professor McGonagall (their English teacher) from the front. "I don't recall giving you permission to talk, and I'm fairly sure I haven't got dementia just yet."
"Sorry, Minnie," Sirius said cheerfully, tipping his chair back. "We'll behave from now on."
"Will we?" Remus muttered doubtfully to himself.
"Shut up Moony."
"I love you too."
Sirius squealed loudly. Professor McGonagall raised an eyebrow at him.
"I'd ask you to share with the class, but I feel as though you will do so anyway."
Sirius stood up, grinning. "Remus here just said he loved me!"
McGonagall looked at Remus this time. "Is that true, Mr Lupin?"
Remus felt his neck burn, but spoke calmly all the same. "It's true I said it, Professor. Doesn't mean I meant it." He ignored Sirius' heartbroken look.
"That is a pity," McGonagall replied flatly, turning back to the large whiteboard. "Now, does anyone else have any romantic confessions to make?"
James put his hand up.
"Except for Potter," she added, back still turned.
James put his hand down.
She turned around. "No? Then turn to chapter thirty-one and start reading."
"You hurt my feelings," Sirius whispered, sitting back down.
"That was kinda what I was aiming for," Remus whispered back.
"Oof."
***
Sirius and Remus were walking to Biology when someone called after them.
"Oi, Black!"
Sirius kept walking, scowling at the familiar voice. He saw Remus' face tighten a little through the corner of his eye.
"Don't ignore me, you stupid asshole."
Sighing, Sirius turned and grinned brightly.
"Hullo, Snivellus. What could his Royal Majesty want from a lowly commoner such as myself?"
Severus Snape, student of Slytherin and the marauder's arch-enemy, gave his trademark sneer.
"Not a lot Black. It's not like you are of any value."
"So why are you talking to him?" Remus looked mildly disgusted. "Don't you have better things to do, like moping about how much of a loser you are?"
The crowd had thinned, most people having gone to their classes by now. There were a few stragglers, however, and they were watching the three boys in what they thought was a discreet manner.
"I wasn't talking to you."
Remus shrugged. "Well tough. I'm talking to you. Now fuck off, there's a good lad."
Sirius glanced at the taller boy, taking in the relaxed stance and bored expression. He also noticed the clenched hands, hidden deep inside Remus' trouser pockets.
"You don't control me, Lupin. I was talking to this fag here - "
Remus was suddenly in front of Snape, holding the shorter boy by the collar. "Say that again, I dare you." His voice was low and cool. Snape stilled under his icy gaze.
Sirius walked over, pulling at Remus' arm. "Let him be, Rem. Please."
A sigh. Then Remus straightened up, smirking. "Of course, Padfoot. I wouldn't waste my time talking to a person who is more of a dick than their penis."
Snape backed away, eyes narrowed. "How dare you say that to me?"
"Why are you still here?" Remus matched his glare. "Get out."
The two friends watched as Snape walked quickly down the corridor, his back more hunched than usual.
Sirius stood silently, counting his breaths. In, out, in, out, in, out...
"Sirius?" Remus' voice was gentle as he bent down a little to look the other boy in the eye. "Do you want to go somewhere?"
"Outside?"
"Let's go, then."
They walked without speaking. Remus didn't try to hug him, and Sirius was grateful for that: he didn't really want to be touched at the moment, and Remus seemed to understand.
Stepping outside, they found their usual spot: by the lake, beneath a willow tree in the middle of daisy-patterned grass.
Sirius leaned against the flimsy trunk, watching as the water formed little creases whenever a breeze brushed past. He tried not to look at Remus, who was sitting quite close to him, staring up at the drooping branches.
"Do you want to talk?" His voice is like the water, Sirius thought randomly. He winced inwardly at himself.
"If you don't mind?"
"Of course I mind. I wanted to kill him." Remus snorted. "Not that that's anything new."
Sirius grinned at him. "The way you towered over him, though. You looked so hot - ."
"Are you for real - "
"I could barely control myself - "
"Shut up you absolute wombat." But Remus was grinning now, too.
After a moment of quiet, Sirius spoke again. "I used to hate that I was gay."
Remus picked at the grass. "Yeah?"
"I mean, I felt my parents obviously wouldn't like it, and look how fucking right I was." Sirius said it calmly enough, but a bitter feeling had wedged itself into his throat.
Sirius had come out to his parents after third year. You might be thinking that was a terrible idea. But he felt that maybe, just maybe, they would be okay with it. They wouldn't accept him, but at the very least they would be indifferent.
He ran away to James' not even a week after.
Sirius wound a flower stem around his finger. "Just when I thought I couldn't be more of a disappointment." He let the flower rest in his palm. "What a joke."
A hand placed itself on top of his, the flower held carefully between them. Sirius studied Remus' hand - the long, slim fingers, the faint scarring, the scattered freckles - avoiding those quiet amber eyes.
"Is there any point in telling you you're not a disappointment?"
Sirius pretended to consider. "Nope."
"You're not a disappointment." They both smiled to themselves.
Sirius looked up from their still-joined hands, meeting Remus' soft, beautiful gaze.
"Thank you."