{•Unedited•}
Odaxelagnia (n.)- Sexual arousal from biting or being bitten.
~Bex's POV~
Thank god for the three day weekend because I wouldn't of been able to make it to class. I spent Saturday morning cleaning the mess the cops made when they did their little raid. My mom wasn't as much as hell as she thinks she was. All her movements were lazy or tense, so eventually I just told her to lay down. I've never heard someone cry so loud in my life. It hurt my heart, but I know better from being younger that it's better to just let her stay to herself when like that.
Alaric called his mom, but they're conversation was very short. My dad hasn't called and neither has Castel. He said on the phone that they hadn't told them anything about their situation; it's been three days, by law, they should know even the smallest bit of information.
"My dad said it was best if I stayed back for a few days. I decided two was enough," Connie says, sitting down on my bed. We've had so many memories created in here together. This is where she told me she had her first kiss, where I told her Pablo first asked me out and I said yes so happily. Where she slept through her first hangover because she was too scared to go home, where we had our first "lesbian" kiss because we were bored and were curious. Now we're here because my piece of shit ex boyfriend did the ultimate betrayal.
"I wanna die."
"Honestly, same, but the Gravedigger has been on hold for the longest time. Tell me if he answers you." I wasn't expecting her to take it seriously and I'm not sure if I should myself. The longing is definitely there and the devil is speaking me on one shoulder that it's better to take myself out before another bad thing happens, but that mother fucking Angel reels be back in and keeps her here.
"I'm so confused, Connie," I say, tears stinging in the back of my eyes again. Yesterday I didn't cry, I didn't because I didn't want to waste my tears when I knew I would cry today talking to her. I'm not trying to dehydrate myself from crying. I missed talking to her, whether it be on terms like these or just to have a fun conversation. She makes it easy.
"You haven't told me what happened. You sent me a quick text saying you guys broke up again and that was it," she says, her voice getting low. I remember when we were younger she had such a high pitched voice that even if she was trying to show sympathy to someone, every time she would talk to the person it would sound like she was excited. You would have thought the girl was going to Disney land, not asking someone who got hit off their skateboard if they're okay.
"I hardly remember what I told you," I say, running my eyes. The past three days have been crazy, my mind messier than my hair. I've been in a state of brain fog, but also thinking way too much. "They did a raid on the house on Friday evening at my parents dinner. You know my dad, Castel, and Alaric got arrested. He helped it happen, he knew it was coming and didn't warn me. He used me for information and a way to get closer access. It was never love like it was for me."
There isn't a way to explain her expression. It's one of those where they don't know what to say so they just look at you until you decide to speak again or they'll eventually mumble "I don't know" to avoid anything awkward being said again. She's good at handling other's emotional baggage, but I've never liked throwing mine at her.
"You never know; he could have loved you despite what he did," she says. My brows raise. I know I wouldn't of been this mad if he had warned me that this was happening or even if he had told me he was involved a long time ago. "People can love someone and still make stupid mistakes. My dad has an affair, twice actually, and I don't doubt for a second that he loves my mom. People fuck up." I can't tell if she's trying to help him or not.
"Well this is a fuck up he can't come back from. Not when it costed me family." The door swings open, Zav bursting through the door breathlessly. His chest heaves up and down heavily, sweat beading his forehead. It's not hot at all outside and he keeps his car a damn freezer even in the cold, so why the hell is he sweating?
"Please tell me you know this man," Connie says, pointing a finger at him. He gives her a kind, tired smile.
"You, you should have called the moment shit went down and I could have killed him. Like...brutally murdered the son of a bitch." I sit up straighter, pulling the blankets up further. I'm happy they're so thick, it makes me feel better somehow.
"I needed some time for myself after everything," I tell him. He nods in understanding, leaning against the doorframe. The muscles in his biceps pulse out of the tight t-shirt sleeves. "Why are you sweaty and breathless?" It's a sexy look on him, but it's raising some concern.
"I left home at one, got here and had to park far down the block because one of your neighbors is having a party with a really cool looking jolly jumper, so I ran the rest of the way here."
"Why?"
"I don't know, because your voice was cracking and shit on the phone. Screw three hours, I made it here in one," he says. If I wasn't in the emotional state that I'm in now, I probably would have found it funny.
"So are you gonna introduce me to your friend?" Connie says, elbowing me in the side with wide eyes. I shout a glare at her.
"This is the baby daddy."
"Well holy freaking shit. You're one dumb bitch, Bex," She says, losing her filter. Her hand flies up to cover her mouth. "S-should I leave you two alone?"
"Please," he says. He has that fucking look in his eye. Don't leave. Don't fucking leave.
"Actually, I really need you right now. If you leave the room, I might cry so much again I'll dye of...lack of tears."
"Hun, don't be dumber than you already are." She gets off the bed, stealing a very obvious glance at Zav's face on the way out. He walks further in the room, closing and locking it. Fuck me...literally. I bring the covers up to my shoulders, laying back down with just my head showing. He gives me a soft smile, his hands tucked into the depths of his pockets.
"I like her. She seems like she has a fun personality," he says. I nod, resting my hands in my stomach. Why does he always catch me when I look terrible? I would rather him see the fake me every once in a while.
"She does. We've been friends since we were little," I tell him. He leans off the wall and comes over to the bed, sitting down on the edge next to me. I look up at him nervously, debating if I should just say "fuck it" and suffocate myself with the blanket. Reaching a hand out, he brushes a stand of my hair back from my face, looking into my eyes.
"I will kill him if that's what you want," he says.
"He's your brother," I tell him. "You can't do that." I know he would never actually even aim a gun at Atticus; his heart is too big. Any other random person and I'm sure he wouldn't hesitate to pull the trigger. He has a soft spot for certain people only; it's my favorite thing about him.
"You're right. I'll use a grenade to kill him. A gun won't do enough; the man is built too much like a building," he says. I giggle, feeling the corners of my mouth tilt up into a smile. It's small, but there and I'm happy for that. It feels like I haven't smiled in ages when it's only been three days.
I wonder what's going on. Have any of the officers told them what's going to happen? How long will they be in for? Is Alaric okay? He's the last person who should be in there; he always does what others tell him and this was never his choice.
"Listen, I still don't know how to deal with women during a break up. Ice scream and a movie with you lead to us becoming parents, so we're not doing that again. Would you like to go on a drive by? Get Chinese?" His variety of choices I have to "cheer me up" makes me laugh again.
"I just wanna sleep. Thank you, though," I say, sitting to kiss his cheek. His cheeks flush pink, visibly fighting off a smile. My stomach swarms with butterflies. It's weird seeing the affect you have on another person and not understand it at all.
"I was kidding, the ice cream and movie is always, and I mean always, on the table." My cheeks heat up, my breath getting caught in my throat.
"I'm sorry you're always around when I look like shit," I say with a chuckle. He shakes his head at me.
"I think you look beautiful as ever. In my mind, you're supposed to be barefoot and bedridden just from being pregnant, so this is more than perfect," he says, gesturing to me at the end. Bedridden? How bad does he think the average pregnancy is? "Where's your mom at?" He asks. I point in the direction of the backyard, but I'm really pointing at my closet. He'll get the point. I wrap my arms around myself, putting my head on my knees the blanket falls off me. I'm only in a thin bralette and shorts, but I don't care at the moment. I'm comfortable, OKAY?! He places his hand on my back. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault. I should have suspected something like this. Atticus is a cop, I'm the descendent of a bunch of criminals; something like this was bound to happen. I was just hoping it wouldn't." He pulls me to his side, out position slightly awkward by the way I'm placed at his side and back. I straighten up, resting my head on his shoulder. "Fuck the police."
"You did."
"Not the time, Zavian." He tilts my chin up, forcing me to look him in the eye. I inhale a sharp breath, knowing what's most likely gonna happen. There's no point in trying to stop it from happening when there's nothing holding us back. The moment his lips meet mine for the first time in a month I can feel my whole body release all its tension, my body practically melting. How does a person have such an affect? I'll never know.
I move up onto my knees, glancing at the door to make sure it's locked. His arms wrap around me, calloused hands resting at my mid-back. Soft creases on my spine are traces with the rough pad of his thumb. My hair falls all to one side, staying out of the way for once. No joke, debating cutting it.
"Lay down," he tells me. As much as I hate to admit it, I missed his orders. I submit to his request automatically, laying back on my back. My fingers fiddle with the sheets, not knowing what I'm supposed to do with my hands. He stands up, taking his shirt off. As if him doing that is a switch, I'm turned all the way on. "Take your clothes off." Again, I comply immediately, enjoying every second that passes. I feel relaxed and like I have no control, I like it. "Still as submissive as I remember."
"It hasn't been that long." No, but's it's felt like years. The sex with Atticus was never bad, and I did eventually get used enough to it to where I could orgasm again, but this, this is different. I just know it's going to hurt like a bitch, and sickly enough, I'm going to love it.
"It's felt long." He gets in the bed, spreading my legs apart and getting between them. His jeans hang open with his belt undone. He looks directly between my legs, making my heart race faster than ever in my chest. The feeling of his thumb running over my clit makes my body tense. "You don't learn lessons very well do you?" He asks.
"W-What do you mean?" I ask, grinding my hips against his fingers. His eyes focus on his fingers.
"Crying over my brother; I thought I told you not to do that anymore," he says. Fuck, I'll cry over him right now if you keep doing this. When will men and some women learn that some parts of "dominance" isn't actually punishment for us?
"I wasn't," I lie. I haven't just been crying, I've been bawling my eyes out. However, it's less about him and more missing Alaric. It sounds silly because he's just another person, but he's always been a constant. Now I literally have no one, not even Castel and I've always had him.
"Don't lie to me," he says, snapping me out of my thoughts. Not stopping his fingers motions, he lean down, kissing and sucking on my jaw. My fingers through his hair that's starting to get longer than usual; it's a good look for him. My swollen breasts press against his chest, his free hand runs down my side. The cold mental of his belt presses against the bare skin of my stomach.
"I'm sorry," I apologize, my words coming out breathlessly. He applies more pressure to my sensitive bundle of nerves, biting down on the side of my neck. My back arches off the bed, my fingers stopping and tugging at his hair. It hurt, but damn did it feel good. I guess I have a odaxelagnia kink.
He sits back up, his buff chest rising and falling rapidly. He draws down his jeans and boxers after kicking his shoes and socks off. My eyes trail over his body, taking in every defined line in his muscles and inked skin. I make a point not to look there for too long.
"Maybe we shouldn't do this," I say, my nerves starting to get to me. He leans back down, his dick pressing against my aching core. I can feel how wet I am for him. He keeps himself hovering over me in his forearms and elbows. He goes back to biting and sucking on my neck, leaving marks for later. "I just don't want-want you thinking I-I'm leading you on-n," I stutter, my hands running over his bare back. His muscles flex under my fingertips. I feel terrible and gross only because of how soon Atticus and I ended, but that's a small price to pay to replace how I've been feeling like complete shit.
"I don't think you understand that whether it be for a whole night or just an hour, I will take every shot I have with you. Fuck the morality of it," he says, kissing my shoulder and making his way down my side. The his hands run down my body set me on fire.
"This is a one time thing. We can't do this again," I say. He nods, completely ignoring what I say, but I'm a-okay with it at the moment.
"I can't believe we have a daughter in there," he says, pecking my stomach. It's still crazy for me to think as well. It's not a bunch of tiny cells anymore, but an actual baby. I try to think about it as little as possible so I don't trip myself out. "She's gonna be beautiful."
"I know," I say in agreement. Not to sound cocky, but she will be beautiful. Of course though, she could come out fucked up and id still think she was perfect. Hell, I know she is and I can only feel her (sometimes).
"You wanna do this? I'm talking about you, not your worries that I'm gonna get the wrong idea. I know this is a one time thing and I'm horny as hell," he says. At least he's honest.
"I want this," I tell him, giving him the confirmation he needs to continue. I've always loved how he's always so adamant about consent. Sliding his hands up my thighs, he grabs them and wraps them around his waist. I take a deep breath, preparing myself for the stretching pain.
My nails dig into his arms, my head falling back. I press myself into the mattress to keep from moving away. His arms keep my legs in place, looking me directly in the eyes as he thrusts inside me. He knows what he's doing. I'm not thinking about anything else; not about Atticus, or the arrests, or my mom, or Don, just right now and that's his exact intention.
My muscles eventually relax, my breathing starting to slow. One of my hands rests on his head, tugging at his outgrown hair, and the one is around his shoulder, my hand only reaching his mid-back. The headboard bangs against the wall loudly, making him come to a stop, eyes widening.
"Why would you have a headboard like this?" He asks, pulling out. I whimper at the sudden emptiness.
"It was never an issue until now," I tell him. I never expected to be having sex with my baby daddy, whom I'm not even together with, so excuse me for not having a quiet headboard.
He grabs my hand and yanks me up. Laying naked in front of him is one thing, but standing is another. I cross my arms over my chest, my cheeks heating up. I hate this. I feel uncomfortable, but I allow it. Placing his hands at my waist, he lift me up. My legs wrap around his waist by instinct, my back pressing against the closet.
He lowers me down onto him, my nails digging into his shoulder blades. I feel bad for him when he takes a shower later; those cuts are gonna sting. My brows pull together in pleasure and discomfort. It doesn't hurt, just feels awkward, but not in a bad way.
"I was hoping I ruined you for any other man," he says, holding me in place with one hand and his body and reaching down between us with the other and rubbing my clit with his middle finger. He has no idea that he practically did; I couldn't cum the first three days with Atticus after him. "Did you ever think about me when you were with him? Wishing it was it was me touching you, fucking you."
"Yes," I moan, knowing better than to lie at this time. I can feel myself start to tense, getting that familiar tension in my lower stomach.
There were a few times in the beginning where I had to think of him in order to even get turned on with penetration for a while. The man ruined me, I'm telling you. Thankfully, I never made the embarrassing mistake of moaning his name like I did with him at a time. That feels like it was so long ago.
"You know how many times I've thought of fucking you when I've been around you lately?" I lick my dry lips, feeling some of my hair stick to my forehead from sweat. "If no one else had been there, I probably would have bent you over at the doctors appointment." The image of of that sticks in my mind and I put it away for later.
"I'm close," I moan, resting my head against the closet. My breasts bounce up and down with his hard pace. His hand grips my ass so hard that I know they'll be sore for a few hours after we're done. My ankles lock around his waist, my heels pressing into his lower back.
"You have to be quiet," he says, knowing I can be loud. Wrapping arm around me, he covers my mouth his other hand. My eyes stay with his, reading every bit of lust and passion in them. "Fuck," he says in a raspy voice, brows pulling together as if he's in pain. He twitches inside me before he reaches his climax, his thrusting becoming sloppy. I feel myself start clenching around him as I reach the edge as well. Thankfully, my cries were muffled by the pressure of his hand against my mouth.
My chest heaves, my breathing ragged and loud. He removes his hand from my face and loosens his grip on me. My eyes shut, burning from exhaustion. I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to sleep earlier and this made it worse.
"Your head hurt?" He asks, rubbing the spot of the back of my head that was pressed against the closet. I shake my head, my breathing starting to regulate. I rest my head against his shoulder, licking my lips again. It seems every five seconds they're chapped again.
"No, I'm okay," I say, brushing my hair out of the way. My bedroom door swing open. I try pushing way from him, but he just slowly lifts me off so I can feel every damn inch. The same time my feet meet the floor is when my mom shriek of horror. I cover my chest with my hands, immediately wishing I didn't have to because of the pressure and sensitivity.
My Aunt Don starts laughing, actually laughing...like cracking up laughing. I didn't even know she was here for God's sake. My mom covers her eyes as Zav throws my blanket at me. I cover myself immediately, my heart hammering in my chest. He covers himself the best he can with his hands.
"I told you we shouldn't check what the banging was," she laughs, slapping my moms shoulder. This is the first time I've heard someone laugh in three days; it's a nice sound. "Oh shit, I'm sorry."
"PUT CLOTHES ON!" My mom yells, pointing at Zav's crotch. Bending down to get his boxers that are at his feet, he has to take away one hand. Their eyes widen, a sound leaving my Aunt like the wind has been knocked out of her.
She looks up, a small smile on her face that only comes when she "talks" to Zurine. It's not in a weird way, it's more like a prayer. "I love you, baby," she starts, "but holy shit that's huge." My face just look like a tomato.
He straightens up, now covered where he needs to be. Both their eyes travel up and down his body. His lips press together, obviously feeling uncomfortable.
"C-can you guys get out?" I ask, not able to look anyone in the eye. My mom nods frantically, grabbing Don's arm and yanking her towards the stairs. I close the door with my foot, releasing a deep breath.
"Well that didn't help at all," he says, gesturing to the closet. I have suppress the smile that forms on my face. "I am sorry for causing the noise. In my defense, I did think it wouldn't be a problem."
"It's fine. It's karma for all the times I walked in on my dad and her growing up. Those two never learned to lock the door," I say, cringing at the memories of accidentally walking in on them having sex. Imagine the horror I felt in those moments. Lock. The. Door.
"So after we face the awkward conversation downstairs, what are we doing? We could do that dri-"
"I don't wanna do a drive by, you crazyass," I tell him. Part of me is wondering if that's something he was supposed to do and is trying to kill two birds with one stone; me being the stone and the bird. "But finding that party with the jolly jumper sounds fun."
"Can you jump while your pregnant?" He asks. I roll my eyes.
"No, she's going to slide right out my vagina and onto the jolly jumper floor. Yes, I can jump," I tell him. I swear, he's so smart in some ways and a complete and utter idiot in others.
"Then let's crash a little kids birthday party."
AN: Its almost 3:30 in the morning. I'm exhausted. Everything hurts. I'm hungry. I want to sleep, but can't. So here's this shitty chapter wrote. Adios. I really hope you guys enjoyed -Vaeh
Question: Do you prefer Atticus or Zav? Would you like to see them back together or just as co-parents?