Arthit hadn't even realized he'd spaced off until something cold was pressed against his cheek, pulling him out of his thoughts and into reality. He glared up at the person holding out the offending glass before taking it with a muttered thanks. Knot sat beside him on the bench and they sipped on their lemonade in silence until Knot couldn't take it anymore. Arthit was the most emotionally constipated person on the planet, of course he would need some prompting to start talking about what was bothering him.
"So," Knot said carefully. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?"
Arthit sighed, setting his cup to the side and clasping his hands in his lap. "If I tell you, promise you won't laugh at me."
"I solemnly swear," Knot said, extending three fingers to imitate American Boy Scouts.
Arthit took a deep breath, preparing himself before launching into the story. Knot listened patiently for several minutes while Arthit explained everything that had happened in the last week. How he'd been forced out of the closet by Kongpob, albeit probably unknowingly, his date with Kongpob, and the feelings he'd begun having for the junior.
"I don't know, Knot. I think maybe I've liked him from the beginning? I'm so confused, and if this is all just a temporary thing for him, and eventually he'll get bored and drop the whole thing to settle down with some girl, wouldn't it be better to end it now?"
Knot sighed, setting his glass on the ground before turning to Arthit. "Do you remember how we used to tease you about Kongpob? We used to call him your husband, and make fun of you for always treating him differently than everyone else."
Arthit nodded. "I remember. It's because that stubborn asshole said he would make me his wife in front of the entire faculty."
"No." Knot shook his head. "If he had just said that and left you alone we never would have made fun of it. We teased you because he kept coming back. He'd seek you out whenever you were around. It was obvious then he saw you as more than a mentor or a friend. He took a special interest in you, kind of like you did with him."
"I only did because he was so stubborn! I had to get him to understand why we did the things we did."
"Why?" Knot asked. "There were plenty of freshmen who disobeyed us and didn't believe in the system. There are in every year. Why did you need to make Kongpob understand?"
Arthit was silent. Why did he need to make Kongpob understand? It wasn't like much would have changed if he hadn't. Kongpob would have still gotten his gear, reluctantly became his junior, and never had anything to do with the hazing, or Arthit, again. Life would have gone on. Except, when Arthit thought back to his last 2 years of university and tried to imagine it any other way, he felt a small pang in his chest. The idea of Kongpob ignoring him after the hazing activities was...unsettling. Arthit couldn't describe the feeling it gave him to imagine it, only that it wasn't pleasant, and he preferred not to think about it.
"Arthit, have you asked Kongpob why he pretended to be your boyfriend?" Knot said, once again pulling Arthit from his thoughts. "Have you asked him his intentions, or are you just making assumptions without talking to him?"
"I haven't asked him. What would I even say? 'Hey, Kongpob, I don't know what your intentions are here but I actually am gay and might be in love with you so if you could please not break my heart I would really appreciate it'?" Arthit's head snapped up and he felt his face flush as he realized what he'd said. "I mean, not in love but... I think like...maybe? I don't -"
"Arthit, you wouldn't have said it if it wasn't at least a little bit true." Knot leaned back and clapped Arthit's shoulder. "You need to talk to him, Arthit. I know it's going to be hard because you are probably the most emotionally constipated person I know, but if you don't want to get hurt you need to talk to him."
Arthit swallowed thickly, nerves rising in his throat at the thought of it. But, he knew Knot was right. The only way this would be resolved is if he spoke to Kongpob. He quickly drank down the rest of his lemonade and smiled at Knot. "Thanks for being a good friend."
"No problem. C'mon, I'll give you a ride back to your apartment."
~~~
After Arthit left Kongpob made his way back up the procurement department, confused and worried. Arthit had left so suddenly with no explanation or even a single word spoken. Was he unwell? Did something happen? Kongpob debated texting him and asking where he was, but his gut feeling told him that would be a mistake. Arthit obviously needed some distance or he wouldn't have left in the middle of work.
Kongpob was still lost in thought when he entered the office and sat at Arthit's desk, setting the folders in front of him and staring at them with is brow furrowed. What was he supposed to do without Arthit there to work on the project together? He didn't have any work in the production department, all of his tasks having been reassigned for the next two weeks, and he had no other tasks within procurement that didn't involve Arthit.
"Hey Kongpob, Arthit said he was feeling sick and went home," P'Earth said, pulling Kongpob's attention to her. "If you don't have anything else to do could you send some faxes for me?"
Kongpob stood, nodding appreciatively for the task. "Absolutely, I'll do them right away." He took the papers P'Earth was holding out for him and excused himself to the fax room, grabbing a pen off of Arthit's desk as he walked away. He truly was grateful for the distraction the task provided and he began signing the papers when he noticed the pen in his hand. He had grabbed a random one off of Arthit's desk, but now that he looked at it he realized he had taken the one he had given Arthit himself on his first day of work. He smiled as he remembered the day fondly.
He hadn't been expecting to run into Arthit that day, but he carried the gift he'd prepared around with him every day just in case he would run into the senior. He'd gone to Bright's bar after class with his friends, and it just happened that Arthit and his friends had chosen that day to get together and give a proper send off to Tootah, who was enlisting to the military. The two groups had merged naturally as they drank and ate, and by the time everyone had left Kongpob was happy and confident enough to approach Arthit.
"P'Arthit," he called as he saw Arthit about to leave. "I have something I wanted to give you."
Arthit turned and looked at Kongpog curiously as the junior dug into his bag and pulled out a long, black box. Arthit took it, holding it gingerly as if he thought it would explode. He opened it slowly, eyes widening, then narrowing, when he saw what was inside.
"Kongpob, what's this?" He asked, pulled out the silver pen and holding it up.
"A souvenir, for your first day of work. I wanted to wish you luck at work and I hope you find success and happiness."
Arthit blushed, nodding awkwardly as he inspected the pen. "Thank you, Kongpob, you really didn't have to..."
Arthit trailed off, eyes widening as he turned the pen over and saw the inscription on the side. Etched in the metal body of the pen was the word "I-Aoon". Arthit glared at Kongpob, holding the pen up so he could see the inscription.
"What the hell is this?"
"Oh, so everyone would know it's yours, P'." Kongpob grinned at the obvious displeasure on Arthit's face. Something about seeing his senior flustered was highly amusing to Kongpob.
"You - "Arthit cut himself off before he could curse at the junior. As much as it pissed him off, it really was a thoughtful gift. "You're lucky I'm not a hazer anymore," Arthit warned as he placed the pen back in the box and slipped it in his bag.
"Actually, I kind of miss when you were my hazer."
"And why's that?"
Kongpob took a step forward, trapping Arthit against the bar as he leaned forward until their noses were almost touching. "Because I got to see you everyday, P'Arthit."
A half a beat later Kongpob was being shoved out of the way by an extremely red, flustered Arthit and the senior practically ran out of the bar.
The memory made Kongpob smile, warmth spreading from his heart as he remembered the way Arthit had blushed. He uncapped the pen and began to sign his name but...nothing. He shook it vigorously and tried again. Still nothing. Sighing, he unscrewed the pen and looked at the ink cartridge inside. It was completely empty. Kongpob smiled again as he put the pen back together and pocketed it as he searched for a new one. The knowledge that Arthit did use the pen was almost enough to make him forget the entire reason he was sending faxes instead of working alongside Arthit on their co-project. Only almost, though, because once he had signed all of the forms his phone vibrated in his pocket. He took it out and saw a text from Arthit. His heart pounding with nerves, he opened the text.
Meet me at the cafe across from the office after work. We need to talk.
Kongpob bit his lip worriedly as he typed out his reply. Once he had sent his confirmation of their meeting, Kongpob rushed to send the faxes as fast as he could, returning the papers to P'Earth before clocking out for the evening and rushing out of the building.