“See you tomorrow!” I said, waving to Gav as he climbed into his mom’s car. I shut the door and went upstairs into my bedroom.
I looked at myself in the mirror and gulped. I ran a hand through my hair nervously, trying to calm down a little.
“Okay Trav. Just tell mom and dad. They won’t judge you. They love you,” I whispered to myself, taking a deep breath.
I left my bedroom and went out to the living room, where mom and dad were watching a movie together. They were cuddled on the couch, and glanced up at me as I entered the room.
“Hey Trav. Want to watch the movie with us? It’s Princess Bride, one of your favorites,” dad said, his eyes sliding back to the screen as he spoke.
“Mom…dad…I need to talk to you. It’s serious,” I said quietly.
They glanced at each other before dad paused the movie. He and mom shifted so that they were sitting up. Dad motioned at me to sit in the chair that was across from the couch. I sat down and gulped, a little afraid to continue.
“What’s wrong Trav?” mom asked with a frown.
“You guys won’t judge me, right?” I asked, my voice going small and afraid.
“Of course we won’t Travis. What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Sex? A failed class in school? A fight?” dad asked, wrapping an arm around mom’s waist.
“No…it’s…” I gulped again, the words stuck in my throat. I couldn’t go through with this. I couldn’t tell them. I was too afraid I would disappoint them.
I stood up, shaking now from fear. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter. Sorry I disturbed you guys. I’m just going to go to bed now,” I mumbled quickly, spinning around and starting towards my bedroom.
A hand grabbed my arm and then my dad was gently turning me so that I faced him. He placed his hands on my shoulders and looked deeply into my eyes.
“Trav, we’re not going to judge you. Whatever it is, just tell us,” he said gently.
“I’m gay!” I cried and squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m gay! I like boys! I kissed Gage! I like Gav!” I began to tremble violently, terrified of their reaction.
I cracked my eyes open and saw a look of confusion on my dad’s face. I risked a glance at my mom and saw the same confusion on her face.
“You interrupted our movie for that? Jeez Trav, we already knew,” dad said, releasing my shoulders and dropping back onto the couch.
“I…what?” I asked in confusion. What did he mean they already knew?
“We heard you talking to Gage,” mom said with a shrug. “There’s no door between the kitchen and the living room, and we were in here when you boys were talking. Plus, we could tell just by the way you look at Gavin. No offense Trav, but you’re pretty obvious. Gav’s oblivious, but we’re not.”
I stared at them, my mouth dropping open. “And…you’re not mad or ashamed or anything?” I asked nervously.
They both shook their heads at me. Dad wrapped his arm back around mom and shrugged at me casually.
“Why would we be? You’re still the same old Trav. So you like guys, big freaking deal. We’re not homophobic. You know that,” he said, rolling his eyes at me.
“I just freaked out about telling you guys and you already knew?! Dammit!” I cried, relieved and a little creeped out at the same time.
“Honey, don’t say dammit. Your daddy is the only one who can say it, and he only says it when he sees your phone bill,” mom said, turning the movie back on so they could watch it.
I face palmed myself before sighing. Well, at least that had gone better than expected. I turned and began to head towards my room again.
“Trav!”
I glanced behind me at my parents. They both smiled softly at me.
“Love you, you little homo,” dad said with a wink.
“Gee thanks dad,” I said sarcastically, a small smile creeping onto my face.
I went back into my bedroom and collapsed on my bed. I shook my head a little and smiled, loving my parents. At least they accepted me.
Satisfied for the night and terrified for tomorrow, I let myself nod off to sleep.
***
“Well?” Gage asked as I walked up to him the next day in school.
“They already knew,” I said with a sigh. “And they accept me. Now all I have to do is tell Gav.” And there was the terrifying part.
Gage pat me on the back reassuringly. “Hey, it’ll be okay. You know Gav. He’ll accept you even if you tell him you’re secretly a woman. Which I hope you’re not. Female reproductive parts turn me the fuck off.”
“I promise I’m not secretly a woman,” I said.
“I am,” Gav said, popping out of nowhere and scaring the hell out of me.
“Hey Gav. Trav was just about to tell me something. He said it was really important,” Gage said innocently.
Well fuck you too then you little shit.
“Uh…yea,” I said nervously, not so confident anymore.
“Something important? Can Gav know?” Gav asked curiously.
“Yea. I think it’s better if you know,” I said, my voice instantly going quiet.
“What is it Trav? Are you okay?” Gav asked, instantly concerned. He stepped forward and hugged me tightly before taking a step back to look into my eyes. “What’s wrong Trav?”
“Gav…Gage…I’m gay,” I said, trying and failing to sound confident.
“About damn time you came out,” Gage said with a smirk. “You sexy gay boy, you.”
“What?” Gav asked in confusion. “Are you serious?”
I nodded, feeling my face heat right up. “Yea. I’m gay. I like boy,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck nervously. “But I’m still the same Trav! Gav, please don’t judge me,” I practically begged.
A deep frown settled onto Gav’s face. “You thought I was going to judge you just because you’re gay?” Gav asked, looking honestly offended. “I would never judge you Trav. You’re my best friend. Why would you even worry about that? I accept you no matter what.”
Gage shoved me so that I crashed into Gav. Gav wrapped his arms around me, both to catch me and just to hug me. I hugged him back and sighed, feeling guilty.
“I’m sorry Gav. I was worried you would be afraid to keep our close friendship,” I admitted.
Gav released me and glared at me. “You nuthook asshole. Of course I’m not afraid! I’ve shared a bed with Gage before, after all. He’s much more likely to do…things…to me than you are.”
Oh how wrong you were Gav.
The bell rang and we all sighed and went to class, dismissing the topic of my sexuality. It was accepted, and that was that.
And boy was Gage right. Half the school knew by lunch time. A few kids had overheard us in the morning, and now it was spreading like wildfire. I had gotten some stares and whispers, but no one had made fun of me so far. Probably because they all knew how tough little Gage was.
“Gym time, gym time, gym time!” Gav cried happily as we walked towards the locker room together.
I was beyond grateful that Gav was acting like things were normal. And I guess, in a sense, things were normal. Big deal; I liked guys. I was still the same Trav I had been before I had admitted my sexuality this morning.
We went into the locker room and changed before going the gym, meeting up with Gage. We went up to the track and began to walk around.
“Trav!”
I turned to Rose curiously as she jogged to catch up to us. She stopped in front of me and frowned.
“Is it true?” she asked.
I sighed and nodded. “I’m gay,” I confirmed, not even needing to ask her what she was talking about.
“Aw! Well that’s a shame. You’re such a handsome guy, and you have a great personality. Any girl would’ve been lucky to have you. I guess now it’s any guy that would be lucky to have you,” she said with a small, encouraging smile.
“Thanks Rose,” I said, returning the smile.
“Great. Now there are two faggots.”
I gulped and turned to face Collin and Josh. Alex was standing behind Collin, staring at his feet. He was twirling a lock of blond hair around his finger shyly.
“Yep,” Gage said casually, folding his hands behind his head. “Two faggots and three assholes.”
Alex winced at that, as if it had physically hurt him. He dropped his head a little and continued to twirl his hair around his finger.
“Shut up Gage. No one likes you. And Travis…hell, I always knew you were gay,” Collin said. Josh snickered and nodded.
Collin smirked at me dangerously. “I should kick your ass faggot. Homosexuals like you are disgusting and wrong.”
Gav stepped in front of me protectively. His gaze locked on Alex and he sighed and shook his head sadly.
“Alex, I know you don’t agree with what your brother is saying,” Gav said sympathetically.
Alex looked up in shock. He nervously glanced from Gav to Collin, slowly releasing the lock of hair he had been twisting. His hand fell to his side and he dropped his gaze back to the ground.
Collin put an arm around Alex’s shoulders and glared at Gavin. “Leave my brother alone. Don’t talk to Alex,” he snarled. “Alex knows that homosexuals are freaks of nature. He knows they’re wrong.”
“Homophobia means an irrational fear of homosexuals. You’re not afraid of us, you’re just an asshole,” Gage pointed out. “How would you like it if we beat up Josh and Alex for being straight?”
“Touch them and die,” Collin hissed, stepping in front of Alex and clenching his fists tightly.
“Well, if you touch Trav or Gage, then you’ll die,” Gav said, raising an eyebrow and shrugging calmly. “You big poop head.”
“Look, just leave us alone. We don’t want any trouble. We just want to be ourselves,” I said quietly.
Alex was watching me, that blush back on his face. He chewed on his lip and began to twirl that lock of hair around his finger again.
“Whatever faggot. Let’s go Alex,” Collin growled, grabbing Alex’s wrist and dragging the younger boy away from us. Josh followed them after glaring at us in disgust.
“Fuck. Alex is so hot,” Gage groaned. “Come on Trav, you have to admit that you would fuck him.”
I rolled my eyes and shook my head at Gage. “You’re disgusting.”
I glanced at Gav out of the corner of my eye. To my disappointment, he was eyeing Rose. Alex might be attractive, but Gav was the one I wanted to be with. His looks, his personality…everything about him.
“He’s straight. Move on Trav,” Gage mumbled in my ear.
We began to walk around the track again. Gav and Rose we’re talking, and Gage was texting, so I was left to my own thoughts. Maybe….Maybe Gage was right. I mean, Gav was straight, and that wasn’t going to change. Maybe I had to stop chasing false dreams.
Maybe I had to move on and find someone else.