An hour after Jack left, I find myself in the same spot on the floor, still shaking, still crying. Everything happened so fast and my heart hurts too much that I cant even bring myself to move. Again, my heart is shattered by no one else but Jack. He is the only person that has ever come close to my heart and he was the one who broke it, over and over again. I once thought we were the exception to all heart break and misery, turns out I was wrong. If I was right I wouldnt be sitting on my floor broken into billion of peices, all of which form a Jack shaped hole in my heart. You might say that I have no one else to blame but myself and I agree but loving someone means to let them go when you cant love them the way they deserve, I truly belive Gabbie will treat Jack better than me. Maybe its my lack of self confidence that I dont belive I can do the same but who knows.
My phone rings in the silence of my own apartment and I let it ring, refusing to answer. I havent stopped crying, I doubt the person on the other end of the phone wil be able to understand what I'm saying if I choose to answer. I turn my head to glance over at my phone and see Jonahs name plastered on the screen along with various texts from him and the other boys when the ringing finally stops. If I wanted to talk to anyone right now then it would be Jonah, he seems to always be there even when I dont even know that I need him. Another texts pops up on my phone and I can just make out whay it says through the tears that have built up in my eyes.
Jonah: I'm coming over, open the door or I am breaking it down
My heart drops to my stomach at the thought of Jonah seeing me like this and Jack being the reason. Even though I feel the need to clean myself up before he gets here, I still cant bring myself to move from the spot on my floor. After all the crying, I feel numb, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to do anything, I dont have the energy. Why, even after three years, does Jack still manage to make me feel this way. The crying has stopped, everything around me has stopped and I'm trapped in the silence.
Two knocks at my door break the quiet, but I dont move. Another two knocks lightly hit my door and are followed by a soft voice, "Grace, please answer, you dont have to talk, just open the door" I hear Jonah whisper, "I promise, we can sit in silence until you're ready to talk, or not" he says shortly after. I begin to think that maybe Jonah is what I need right now, just someone to sit with until everything in my head stops spinning. Suddenly, I gain a small amount of strength and I pull myself up and off the floor, I pplace my hand softly on the key in the door, taking a moment to compose myself before tunring it to unlock the door.
I take a deep breath before I begin to slowly turn the key in the door. After it clicks I open the door slightly, only enough that I could just see Jonah standing there. My eyes fall down to the bag in his hand which seems to be filled to the top. My eyes flick from the bag to his eyes and they are kind, like they always are with Jonah. I open the door more so now I can fully see Jonah and he can fully see me. "Whats in the bag" I whisper out, "ice-cream, chocolate, candy, popcorn, whatever it is, name it and I have it" he smiles, "thought you might want some snacks" he says shortly after and I feel another tear roll down my face from how incredibly sweet and kind he is, everyone needs a Jonah in their life, they're amazing.
Soon enough, I am engulfed in a hug and I nuzzle my face into Jonah chest as he hugs me tighter, planting a kiss on the top of my head. "Here, lets get inside, put whatever movie you want on, and eat some ice cream" he whispers to me, still hugging. "Do you have mint-chocolate chip" I mumble into his chest, "of course I do" he says into my hair and I nod slightly before pulling away to let him inside. He walks in and I close the door lightly, making sure to lock it behind me just incase anyone came by and saw the state I was in.
Jonah makes his way to my kitchen and places every item in the bag in the counter, almost filling it up. He wasnt wrong, anything you could think of, he has. "I pretty much picked up one thing of everything in the store" Jonah says when he realises I'm starring at the selection. "We dont have to talk about anything, just choose what you want while I go and pick out some of your favourite movies" he smiles kindly before leaving me to go over to my tv to search through netflix. I scan my eyes through the selction of foods and they quickly land on the huge tub of mint-choclate chip ice cream. I walk over to the drawer and pull out a big spoon before grabbing the tub and making my way over to Jonah.
"I chose maze runner, I know thats your favourite film, you and Molly always used to watch it back home" he smiles before clicking it. I manage to crack a small smile to say thank you before sitting down on my couch and pulling a blanket over me. "Ice cream, good choice" he smiles as he walks over to pick up his own tub of ice cream off the counter along with a spoon before joining me back on the couch. When the film starts, I dig into my ice cream as does Jonah and we sit and watch the film in silence. I'm grateful that Jonah isnt making me talk about what just happened and he's just allowing me to process it all and eat as much ice cream that I need to. Ice cream seems to cure most heart breaks, at least its making me feel better.
Throughout the film, I notice Jonah kept sneaking glances over to me, making sure I was okay and I wasnt going to have another mentak breakdown. It's sweet that he's gone through this much trouble just to make sure that I'm okay, like I've said before, everyone needs a Jonah in their life, so get one. Half way through the film, I start to feel uncomfortbale in my jean shorts so I decide to go and change into something more comfortable, "I'm going to change, I'll be back" I say to Jonah before walking off into my bedroom. I set the ice cream down on my bed before pulling out a hoodie and some bed shorts. I pull them on quickly and I instantly feel better to be out of my tear stained clothes.
I decide that I want to put on some fuzzy socks so I open my socks drawer and dig through it until I find the ones I want. When I reach to the back of the drawer my body freezes when my fingers hit a small box. I pull the box slowly and when it is finally in plain sight, I cant help but stare at it. The day after I saw the boys again, I looked for the box that held the promise ring Jack had gave me before leaving to LA but I could put it back into the box because the girls came around so I shoved it into the back on my sock drawer. The memory of Jack giving me the ring come flashing back into my mind...
Still holding my hand he guides me over to sit near the skateboard ramps like we always do when we come to this park. "You need to close your eyes" he says, "why" I say, slightly scared, "do you trust me" he says raising an eyebrow, "of course" I say in a 'duh' tone, "then close your eyes" he smirks. I groan and close my eyes so I can't see anything. "One second" he says. I feel his breath on my face, so I know he's close. He places one small peck on my lips before I feel him move backwards away from me. I smile after he pulls away and I can feel my cheeks becoming red. Even with the smallest thing, Jack still makes me blush like he always used to at the start of me and him. I hear him fiddling a little and after a few seconds of silence he finally speaks. "Okay, open your eyes baby" he says. I slowly open my eyes to see Jack standing in front of me with a small box. I raise an eyebrow slightly confused. He laughs a little and slowly opens the box. My jaw drops when I see a beautiful silver infinity ring, I keep switching my gaze from Jack to the ring, and every time I look back at Jack his smile gets bigger.
Jack takes the ring out of the box and grabs my left hand. He pauses, "now, I'm not proposing" he laughs which causes me to laugh a little. My eyes starts to become teary as the butterflies in my stomach overwhelm me, "but, I am making a promise" Jack says looking me in the eyes. "I know we haven't had the easiest ride, and it'll never truly be easy for us" he says smiling, "but I want you to know the we will be the exception in our families, I promise you that we will" he says seriously, he looks down at my hand still holding the ring, "so what our love story isn't perfect, nothings perfect, but I'd rather do hard with you than easy with someone else" he says as a tears falls down my face. My hand starts to shake and all I want to do is pull Jack into the biggest hug and just kiss his gorgeous little face off. "So Gracie, I give you this ring as a sign of my promise to you, to never leave, to never give up, to never back down on my feelings for you, to always want you" he says, "for fucks sake I beg you accept this ring" he says laughing nervously, "of course I do Jack, I promise to never leave you, you are my almost perfect love story" I smile wider than ever before.
I throw the small box at the wall in anger and my entire body collapses in tears for the second time this night. I fall to the ground and onto my knees as I cry more and more every second. Quickly Jonah appears at my door with only worry in his face. He rushes over to the floor and pulls me into a hug tightly as I cry into his chest. "Grace, its okay, its okay" he begins to rock us back and fourth as he rubs circles into my back, "he lied about everything" I scream, "all the promises he made me, it was all a fucking lie" I cry out and Jonah's grip tightens around me, "I know Grace and I am so sorry that he put you through all of that" he says, still rocking us. I cry more into my chest, soaking his tshirt from my tears.
"Why does it aways end like this between us" I pull away and look into his eyes, "I dont know Grace, if I did, I'd do everything in my power to help you" he stares into my eyes and I start to choke on my own tears as I try and hold them back, "breathe Grace, okay" he says as he starts to breath in and out and I follow along, "let it all out, it's okay to cry" he says and my breathing become shaky but it seems to be working. Jonah drops his hands from my shoulders as his eyes fall towards the small box on the floor along the side of my drawers. He picks it up in his hands, already knowing what it was, and shoves it into his pocket, "I'll keep this for now, okay" he says to me and I nod through the breathing and tears.
He pulls me into another hug to help clam me down. We mustve stayed there for at least an hour until I had finally stopped crying. The memories that came rushing back killed me to remember everything before. He lied about everything, he promised to never leave me and to never give up, but he did, he did it with the first chance he got and thats what got us both into this mess that we're in right now. Maybe, this time I gave up on him but it doesnt matter, he did it to me first.