No birthday gift was as good as seeing my sister. After knowing that it was the Eighth Bei'Le's idea, my heart bloomed like the blossoms design that I was drawing on the parchment.
Ruo Lan watched me draw the design with admiration and contentment. "Ruo Xi, you have changed so much. I am sure you have learned a lot in the palace."
"Sister, you're laughing at me." I rose from the chair and hugged her. "I miss my carefree days in the Eighth Bei'Le's house. Those were my happiest days in the Qing--" I almost let slip the words Qing Dynasty but held my tongue. I didn't want to ruin this special moment with any confusion.
Ruo Lan stared at me with immense curiosity and concern. "You are not happy in the palace?"
"Well, I can't say that I'm not happy there. The emperor has been kind to me. It's just..." I went to sit on the wood chaise lounge and shockingly, couldn't find any words to suit my feelings.
Ruo Lan came to sit beside me and said in a more cheerful tone, "You have someone whom you admire now?"
"Didn't you caution me not to think of such matters? It's not that we have the freedom to choose who to love."
"I said that because you had to go through the Maiden Selection at that time. I was afraid that if you had someone whom you admire but the emperor would bestow you to the one you do not like or would take you as his consort. But now five years have passed, and I notice that the emperor himself does not have any romantic feelings towards you. That is why I ask you now."
I hugged my arms together. How could I tell her that the one whom I admire was her husband?
Ruo Lan grabbed my hand all of a sudden and pulled up my sleeve. She stared at the Phoenix Blood Jade and smiled, "You are still wearing it! Ruo Xi, if you like the Thirteenth Prince, you have to voice out. You have earned great adoration from the emperor now, I am sure he would bestow you a marriage that you like. Though the Thirteenth Prince is indignant--"
"Sister, you've misunderstood." Ruo Lan didn't know that the Phoenix Blood Jade was given by the Eighth Bei'Le. She saw me often mingle with Die Hard Thirteen and had mistaken the bangle as a present from him. I had to correct her in order to prevent unwanted misunderstanding again. "Thirteenth Prince is my close friend who often shares the same viewpoints with me. Both of us don't have any romantic feeling towards one another."
"How about the Tenth Prince? Ahh, you have to be the second concubine in that case. With your die-hard attitude, I am certain that you will not yield to her... Hmm... How about the Fourteenth Prince? Even though both of you always argued, but I can feel that he is sincere to you."
I chuckled. "Sister, do you want to tie the knot for me with all the princes? I am fine. Don't worry about me. How about you? How are things between you and the Eighth Bei'Le?"
"I do not hate him, but I will never forgive him." Ruo Lan's nose reddened.
I was about to comfort her when Consort Liang's servant heralded us. Consort Liang would like to see the designs I drew for her. When she took the parchments, her eyes landed on my bangle. A look of comprehension rode across her face but she kept her realization to herself. Embarrassed, I put my hand behind my back. She smiled as if nothing had happened. After choosing the design she wanted me to embroider onto the handkerchief, she dismissed me.
I walked halfheartedly to the Hall of Justice and Honour.
The princes had just finished meeting with the emperor. I followed the Eighth Bei'Le from behind, using the pillars to shield me from being noticed. Suddenly, he halted his steps and looked around. I quickly ducked. When he saw no one was around, he smiled faintly to himself and strode away. I watched his back with a heart that weighed like a lead ball.
Why do I keep following him even though I know I shouldn't have to? I wanted to love him but I didn't dare to. I wanted to forget about him but I just couldn't do so. Sighing, I returned to my house. The Fourteenth Prince was waiting for me, wearing an impatient look.
"Where have you been, Ruo Xi?"
"How may I assist you, Fourteenth Prince?" I bowed.
He simply brushed his hand, gesturing me to rise. "I went to see Mother and I bumped into Fourth Brother. It destroyed my mood instantly."
Instead of responding to his anger, I smiled and said, "Care to have some tea?" I led him to the garden.
Smiling still, I brought forth a set of tea.
He took a hasty sip without admiring the fragrance and the contents. Seconds later, he frowned. "What is the brand of this tea? It is so bitter."
"You are used to drinking Green Tea which has a light aroma. This is Red Tea. The flavour is heavier, but it brings along a tang of sweetness if you drink it with a calm heart." I sat next to him. "You are still angry with the Fourth Prince?"
"I am not angry with him. I am just disappointed. I know I mingle with Eighth Brother more often, but Forth Brother is my blood brother. I cannot forgive him for not helping me."
"Both of you have opposite personalities. One is jovial and straightforward; one is cautious and silent. Perhaps he doesn't know how to convey his concern towards you."
"Let us talk about something more cheerful." One Sided brushed his hand impatiently and diverted the topic. "I want to know your feeling towards Eighth Brother. Do you like him? Do not tell me that you do not hold a tinge of love for him. He has done so much for you. If it wasn't of him who has been secretively helping you, you would not have such a great life in the palace. The ambassadors and servants often talk behind him, saying that he fears his wife, which is the reason why he did not marry another concubine. But he did not mind that. He is willing to wait for you. I want to hear your answer now."
"I-- I don't know."
"Don't know? Ma'ertai Ruo Xi, what do you really want?" Angrily, he rose from his seat.
When his voice faltered, I heard footsteps. "Oh, the Fourth and Thirteenth Prince are here." I rose from my seat as well to greet them.
"I assume that is the reason for your answer. You used to speak your mind and heart frankly. Now, you have changed." He glared at the new guests before striding away.
"Ma'ertai Ruo Xi, what do you really want? What kind of person are you really?" Die Hard Thirteen teased; his hands held suspiciously behind his back.
I raised an eyebrow. "What are you hiding from me?"
Die Hard Thirteen smirked before giving me a wood chest. "Fourth Brother asked his ambassador to purchase this from the Northwest. I am sure you will like it."
After sniggering at me, he left my house with Ice Face, who didn't utter a single word at all during our conversation just now. Curious, I opened the chest and saw three bottles of red, blue, and green. They were herbal ointments that were used to salve on physical injuries. Was he cursing me to get injured often? I stored the chest in my wardrobe and joined my subordinate.
"Sister, why were the princes here?" Yu Tan asked.
"Oh, today is my birthday; they came to send some gifts to me."
Yu Tan sighed. Her expression turned melancholy. "I share the same birth date with you, but I am not able to experience the happiness you have."
"Don't say that. Come, I have something for you." I took out a wooden chest in which I kept my jewelry. After pondering, I chose an Emerald Jade hair clasp and a pair of matching earrings. "Here, Yu Tan, happy birthday to you."
"These are expensive gifts. I cannot accept them."
"You've assisted me greatly all these years. These are a token of appreciation from me."
"I could not thank you enough. But I did not prepare any present for you."
"Consort Liang had asked me to embroider some handkerchiefs. My skill is not as good as you. Would you help me?" I asked. Yu Tan nodded, and I continued, "Let's go for a walk."
The moon was so bright and round when we strolled in the garden.
"What are you thinking now, Yu Tan?"
"I am thinking of my mother, my younger brother, and my sister back home."
"Ah, you're the eldest in the family. No wonder you behave meticulously all the time. I like the way you handle things a lot. You don't chitchat with the other maidservants and you don't often question. That's why I keep you by my side."
"I could not thank you enough as well for your care towards me throughout these years."
I smiled and gazed upon the night sky. "We stand underneath the same sky with our parents, but will our parents see the same moon as what we're seeing now?"
Yu Tan nodded in agreement before saying, "Sister, I would like to kneel and kowtow towards the moon, in order to express my respect and love towards my parents."
I nodded, and we knelt on the cobbled path and kowtowed thrice towards the moon. When we rose, we were shocked to see the emperor and Herald Lee walking down from a pagoda. His face was laced with grief and exhaustion. We quickly knelt on the path again.
"Rise," he said feebly. "What did you both do just now?"
"Your Majesty, we were just kowtowing towards the moon to express our respect and love towards our parents," I said.
The emperor looked at Yu Tan and me wordlessly before walking away with Herald Lee.
I watched them disappear behind the bamboo groves and sighed. "He's the Mandate from Heaven, but the Dragon Seat that he sits on is as delicate as a hair clasp. Fate has grazed at it purposelessly, leaving a mark that separates him and his sons. The moon is so bright and round tonight, but the one who had accompanied him to admire it is a Eunuch instead of his offspring."
Yu Tan nodded grievously, agreeing with my viewpoint. The next day, the emperor held a private meeting with Herald Lee. They had decided to go to Mongolia again. This time, he wanted the Crowned Prince and the Eighth Bei'Le to follow him. The Fourth Prince was entrusted to take over the responsibility of handling the state affairs while the emperor was away. The Ninth, Tenth, Thirteenth, and Fourteenth Prince were assigned to assist him.
One morning, while the emperor and the princes were meeting with the King of Mongolia, I sat forlornly on the grassland. The scene when Ice Face taught me horse riding flashed across my mind. My heart gave a cold shudder. Why would I think of him suddenly? Why would my memory about him seem so vivid? I could even remember every word he said and every action he did. The expression as he teased me and the concerned look he wore on his face as he saved me from falling from the horse... And the kiss... No, stop thinking about him. For a moment, I believed that this place was cursed. Ice Face's demon was haunting me again.
I shook my head in frustration when Suwan Guwalgilya Min Min invited me to horse riding.
I told her that I was still an amateur rider but she said she'd teach me. Before I sat properly on the horseback, she whipped my horse with her lash. My horse bolted, struggling to throw me from its back. I tried to hold on to the reins and slip my feet into the stirrups but the horse was moving too fast. I almost fell to the ground when the Eighth Bei'Le appeared. He grabbed my waist and brought me to his horse.
Suwan Guwalgilya Min Min apologized for her mistake. The Eighth Bei'Le dismissed her and rode slowly on his horse, hugging me from behind. My heart galloped like the horse hooves. My cheeks heated up. Can I allow myself to lean into his embrace for this time? But I'm scared. He has so many wives; one of them is my sister. And he's ambitious. He yearns for the Dragon Seat which will cause his death. I don't dare to love a man who will die because of the rivalry.
While I debated with my rationality, the Eighth Bei'Le said, "I am glad that I can reside in your heart." He held my gaze while I looked at him abashedly. Seconds turned to minutes and he laughed all of a sudden. "So, I really do earn a place in your heart. You like me."
Grinning, he placed my head on his chest. At that very moment, I felt the world reducing to only both of us, he and me. My heart blossomed as if being watered by nectar. Grinning still, the Eighth Bei'Le rode me to my tent. After thanking him, I bolted into my tent, grinning from ear to ear. When I sat in front of the hearth, reminiscing the brief yet sweet moments with him just now, someone dressed in a Mongolian fur coat tapped my shoulder.
I turned around and was flummoxed to see the Fourteenth Prince. He wore a fake mustache and a beard on his face. Apart from that, he had also worn artificial curly braids that were hanging down from his fur cap. He tried to disguise himself as a Mongolian but his fair skin betrayed him.
Gingerly, I whispered, "What are you doing here? You're supposed to stay in the palace. Do you know that by disobeying the emperor's Order of Honour will cause you to--"
"Hush, I need your help. I need to speak to Eighth Brother."
Edited by YvonneKindle