Cedric was here.
It felt like I was meeting him all over again. I was nervous and I couldn't figure out what to wear—mostly because he wasn't telling me all of the details about this delivery job. I picked out some casual clothes I'd often wear to the grocery store, looking like a broke college student who lived on peanut butter. If it wasn't up to his standards, then next time he could buy me the clothes he'd like me to wear.
"You look . . ." Sonam swallowed the rest of her sentence and walked away smiling.
"What?"
She turned back around, eyeing me up and down. "You look like that girl that just got fucked so hard she needs to stay over his place for a couple of days to recover."
"Oh, just the look I was going for."
She giggled. "Have fun. If you decide to stay with him again, please give Dorian a call. Don't make him suffer again."
"I will."
Dorian was currently working, but he knew I was going out today. I wish I knew what the hell I was getting myself into, but Cedric hasn't spilled the details yet. And just in case, for my best-friend's sake, I took my charger and rolled it up into a ball, stuffing it into one of my pockets.
Cedric was right outside, sitting in his car looking hot and dangerous with his leather jacket and black sunglasses. He watched me walk up to his car and leaned forward to turn off the radio when I opened the side door.
My stomach felt strange when I sat next to him. I was nervous, excited, and happy all at once, like a witch's cauldron holding random crap to create something magical.
"Hey," he said, glancing at me as I stretched the seat belt over my chest and locked it in.
"Hey, you."
He looked like he wanted to say something more, something personal and possibly cringy, but he didn't. "Ready to go?"
"What are we doing? And where are we going?"
"First we have to drop off my car and collect the van," he said, starting up the car, letting it roar to life for a few seconds before driving us away from the parking lot. "Since you live far from the location, they won't start loading the van for two hours, which is fine since that's the time it will take to get there."
"Are we delivering at night?"
"Yeah, it will be night by the time we deliver the van."
"Can I know what we're delivering?"
"It's better if you don't know."
"Is it . . . drugs?" I asked under my breath, as if the car was infested by secret microphones set up by the FBI to catch us.
Cedric laughed as he turned the wheel with one hand, the other resting on the window. He was so laid back that I could hop on his lap and . . . "No, it's not drugs. We don't work with that."
"Who is we?"
He suddenly looked stiff. "The . . . people I work with," he said slowly, not falling for even his own words.
"So I can't know much, or what we're delivering, and not even the people we're doing it for?"
Cedric sighed, slouching his shoulders as he tried his best to resist me. "I don't want you to get involved in this. I just want you to sit tight and let me do all of the work."
"If you don't want me involved, then why did you ask me to get involved?"
He showed the same pained expression he often wore when he wanted to smoke, but knew he shouldn't. "Because I fucked up when I tried to help you with a job."
"I told you it was okay."
"I know, but once we're done with this, you'll be walking home with five grand in your pockets."
"Five grand?" I mouthed back in disbelief.
He nodded, watching me sink into my seat as I realized I'd be getting five grand for sitting next to some hot fucking dude with the blowjob skills of a God.
Five grand was a lot of money. More money than anyone could ever earn for simply sitting. If it wasn't drugs, then what the hell were we delivering? Who would pay that much for non-drug related deliveries? Could it be jewelry? Important documents with terrifying secrets? Or perhaps illegal boxes of chocolate eggs. It couldn't be that bad if Cedric was still here.
The next two hours were slightly painful. The Cedric from yesterday was still there, menacingly quiet and antisocial. I was aware that our friendship was still new, and I had no right to say who he truly was, but Cedric had this type of personality that as soon as something was off, you'd notice right away. He wasn't being the same Cedric I talked to through text messages, or the Cedric I met at the bar and at the bus stop. And most of all, he wasn't being the same guy I clicked with at his apartment, who showed me a wild night with just his mouth.
He barely said a word to me, even when we arrived at the sketchy location with dozens of black and white vans parked like they were in some military formation. The area looked like a prison; there were barbed wires on the tall fences, the buildings were connected to each other, and there seemed to be guards everywhere.
When we arrived, the gates opened to us like they knew who Cedric was. He drove us to the back of the building, where all of the regular cars were parked, and eased the truck between two others, shutting off the engine and snapping off his seat belt.
"Let's go," he said, hopping out of the car and taking and backpack from the back seat.
There was a girl by the front door of the building. She was just standing there, watching everything, but so out of place. She was wearing a long coat that matched her grey afro. Despite the color, she was youthful and beautiful. The girl glanced at me as I followed Cedric inside the building. It was possible that seeing me made her feel relieved. I was a young guy, dressed like this, in an area full of buff men with scary faces, and an overwhelming feeling of danger. I was the opposite of threatening.
Cedric could be threatening, if he didn't walk like his balls were too big for his pants.
Inside the building, a woman approached Cedric and talked to him quietly. It seemed serious, so I stepped aside and hovered around a nearby window, peering through it and catching a glimpse of the girl outside. She reminded me of a fearless reporter ready to stomp into a dangerous scene as long as it got her a story.
"Lucian," Cedric called, gesturing with his head to follow him.
"What is this place?" I asked under my breath.
"A place," he answered without an ounce of sarcasm.
I took it as sarcasm anyway. The place was normal looking, almost like a boring office with lots of halls that lead to more boring halls. And for a while it seemed like I was right about the place. Cedric guided me down hall after hall until we finally stopped at a metal door.
"What's this?" I asked at the door.
"You ask a lot of questions."
"You're right," I said, starting to feel irritated. "I should ask less and start swinging some more."
He looked at me from the corner of his eye and snorted, making my threat seem miniscule. In a flash, I raised my fist as if I were about to punch him and he flinched, jumping back against the wall next to the door.
"Jesus," he said quietly.
"Nice one," I deadpanned.
"We're getting the van," he said through his teeth, his eyes looking back to make sure we were alone. "Save your questions till we're alone. You sound like an idiot who's gonna get us killed."
"Am I?" I said, glaring.
"No, but I'd rather people not find out you're not part of De—" He stopped talking and stared at the door like he was pissed at it, but really he was pissed at himself.
"You're really bad at this."
"Don't talk to me."
The door abruptly opened and a man appeared, handing over a pair of keys to me and moving past us. Cedric grabbed the keys from my hands and went out through the door. The keys were for a van parked outside. Cedric got in and waved impatiently at me.
I wasn't planning on saying it out loud, since it could hurt his ego, but he was hilariously cute without meaning to be.
"We're a little late, but it's okay," he said, starting up the van with the keys. My eyes went directly to the back as I buckled up. There were dozens of boxes all stacked and taped together. I tried to visualize what was inside, but my mind kept telling me it was drugs. "Stop looking back."
"I should be mad at you for not telling me anything, but you're finally talking to me, so I can't complain."
"And I should be mad at you for putting some truth spell on me."
"What? Because you can't seem to hide anything from me for too long?"
"Yes," he hissed.
I crossed my arms over my chest. "Sounds like a personal problem."
He gripped the steering wheel tightly, possibly imagining it was my neck that he was twisting in his strong hands. Once he let out his frustration on the wheel, he relaxed back and drove out of the area before he opened his mouth again, revealing the truth, "I'm a Devilian."
"What the fuck is a Devilian?" I repeated stupidly.
"It's a gang," he sighed, disappointment in his voice. "Devilian is a gang."
"Oh, interesting."
"Are you scared?"
We locked eyes. "No, I'm not scared. It's actually a relief. Now I understand why you're so weird."
"Hey! You're even weirder, you weird . . . weirdo."
"It makes sense why your bartender friend screamed that the bar was Devilian territory. It makes sense why you act suspicious sometimes. And it makes sense why you were at my old job, investigating spooky things."
"Spooky things? What kind of spooky things?" he asked curiously, but I didn't respond. "Come on. I told you something big, don't you trust me?"
"It's not that."
"Then what is it? Why don't you want to tell me about your old job?"
"Because I'm scared," I whispered, feeling my skin crawl at the memories of what I had seen.
His eyes narrowed. "Lucian, tell me."
"My job changed my hours, so I was working late. The first night, I was told to load up a van. If I hadn't been so out of shape, I would have never decided to sit down behind the boxes, and they would've seen me."
"Who would've seen you?"
"The people who killed a man just a few feet away from me."
The information didn't seem to startle Cedric, he just seemed more curious.
"Do you remember what they looked like?"
"Not really, no. There were a few men and one woman."
"Are you scared something is going to happen to you?" he asked.
"Yeah, at least I did."
"I won't let anything happen to you. The first chance you feel like something is wrong, you tell me right away. I don't care what you're doing or where you are, you tell me, okay?"
I nodded. "Okay, I will."
"Do you remember what they were wearing?"
"Suits."
"For being fancy, they sure are sloppy," he said to himself.
I wasn't being completely honest with Cedric. Like who killed the man and how that same killer was the one who jerked me off and helped me out of the monstrous job. This was new to me, and I couldn't possibly understand when to talk and when to shut my mouth. The danger was real and so was getting murdered. If I left Elijah out of this, maybe nothing would happen.
"You know who they are?" I asked.
"Yeah, another gang. Their people were the ones that shot the bar."
"Ah, so you were at the right place all along."
"Didn't find anything at the time, but this information is helpful."
"Didn't hear it from me."
He smiled at me. "I suddenly can't remember who the fuck you are."
"Maybe my dick will make you remember," I said, smirking back.
He kept smiling, but his face was frozen as he let out a high pitched chuckle.
There was less weight between us now that certain topics were openly in the air. It didn't feel good, but it was a step. Talking about gangs, murders, drugs, and anything that could end up with me dead was never going to be a fun topic.
We drove out to the middle of nowhere, behind mountains and through a long and empty road. Normally a scene like this spelled out death, but because we were most likely carrying illegal objects, I was glad to be away from human civilization. Less of a chance to be caught by the police. What if one had stopped us and decided to check the van? Then what? We'd be fucking doomed.
The darkness was a bit intimidating. There were no lights out here. You could somewhat see the brightness of the city hiding behind the mountains, and the moon was out and shiny, but besides that we might as well be wearing blind folds.
"So you've done this a lot?" I said, breaking the silence that had previously been filled by the low sounds of the radio on an advertisement loop.
"At least a hundred times."
"That's a lot of money."
"You don't always get paid the same amount. It depends on the timing, what is being delivered, and who is getting it."
"Are we almost there?" I said, staring at the darkness, struggling to keep my mind from thinking the worst.
"Few minutes. There's a farm out here."
"Then what?"
"When we get there, you will pull your hood up and keep your face down low. I will go out and talk to a guy, and he will come back with me and unload the van. You will keep your face hidden while he does that, okay? Do not let him see your face."
"Okay."
"Then we go back, get my truck back, and we go home."
"That's it?"
"That's it."
We found the farm a couple of minutes later. It had dim lighting and zero signs of an actual barn life. There was a house with all of the lights turned on, a barn with nothing inside, and a fenced area that would normally hold animals, but life seemed to be lacking in this place. Even the plants seemed neglected.
Cedric stopped the car but kept it running. There was a good distance between us and the property. He pinched and pulled my hoodie, warning me that it was time to mask my identify. I pulled the hood over my head and tugged on the strings.
"Are there a lot of people here?" I asked, watching the old house.
"No, just one person."
"Do I help unload?"
"No, you stay here." He pointed at my seat. "You don't talk, you don't move, don't even breathe."
"Okie dokie."
Cedric threw me a look as he unbuckled his seat. He reached around his back seat and grabbed his backpack, opening it up and reaching inside. A flashy object caught my attention as he fished it out. It was a mask.
(Below are the masks that inspired my masks. They are from a band)
The mask was huge and creepy. It was shiny and silver. It was detailed like it had been the mold of an actual person, but the person would have been a monster, since the mask had horns. It even had the shape of hair. Cedric put on the mask, looked at me once behind the black eyes, and got out of the car.
I slouched down on the seat and watched him go. A man emerged from the house and waited for Cedric. They talked for a long time before finally moving to the barn. The stranger must have flicked on a switch, because the entire barn turned to life. There were vans inside that I hadn't seen before and a ton of the same boxes that we were delivering. But when the lights turned on, I also noticed something odd.
There was another man. He was hiding outside of the barn, crouching in the shadows, slowly creeping closer to the open door. Cedric said there was only one man here and I was pretty sure he knew what he was talking about.
It didn't look normal. It felt like I was in a theater watching a movie. Right about now, the entire audience would be screaming at the main character to watch out. Unfortunately this was real life.
My instincts kicked in and I looked through the glove compartment, finding only a wrench. I glanced back at the barn as my heart began to pound from the stress. I couldn't honk the horn or scream, it would only make things worse for Cedric. He was out there against two. The only thing I could think of was sneaking over there and handling it myself.
Fuck. This shit was scary.
I quietly opened the car door and got out. I went around the car and passed a few trees, using them as cover as I slowly made my way over to the barn.
The man seemed to be listening to them, as if waiting for a signal. I couldn't see it from my position, but he was holding something. It had to be a gun.
There were a lot of trees and bushes that I used to my advantage. I was also glad that my wardrobe was full of dark colors, because I was completely invisible in the night. But it didn't mean I couldn't be heard, and between me and the stranger, there was a rocky path with pebbles that would give me away if I chose to step through. I needed to stay on the grass, where my steps were light and soundless.
Keeping light might be a bad idea at the moment. When I looked back at the man, he was hovering by the door, and there was a visible gun in his hand. If I took my sweet ass time, I might not make it to Cedric.
I walked back to get momentum and I sprinted fast, jumping over the path and landing softly on the other side. If it weren't for the fact that the man was already at the door, I would not have made that jump without alerting him.
All of a sudden, I started to run like my life depended on it — or in a way, Cedric's life. The man geared up, checking the gun, and entered the barn. I ran after him and raised the wrench, striking him over the head as he aimed the gun at Cedric's back.
"CEDRIC!" I screamed.
Cedric turned around and saw the man fall and swiftly took out his own gun from the holster, turning back around and pointing the weapon at him.
"What is going on?" he demanded.
The other man was speechless as he eyed his friend on the ground. I must have hit him hard. He was out cold.
"I . . ." the man started, "I thought you didn't have a partner."
"How do you know that?" Cedric asked, walking closer to him.
The man raised his hands as Cedric inched closer, keeping the gun pointed at his head. "Someone told us that you didn't register with a partner today."
"What do you mean?"
"Oh, don't act surprised. There are rats everywhere."
"So you thought I was coming here alone and what? You were going to shoot me and steal the supplies?"
"Yes?" the man said blatantly.
"Where's the money?" The man nodded at a nearby table with a single lunchbox. "Lucy, take the box."
I was taken aback by the name, but he was probably keeping my real name a secret. He was smart. I would have never thought of that.
I took the lunchbox and opened it to find a lot of neatly stacked money being held together by a rubber band. I took the money and threw aside the lunchbox.
Cedric then stepped closer to the man, who shut his eyes, and knocked him out with his gun. I couldn't even begin to imagine the pain these two will go through when they wake up. Beats being dead, though.
"Come with me," Cedric ordered, and I followed without question. We went back to the van, where he removed his mask and opened the back. "Help me unload quickly."
"Serious?"
"It's obvious that those two idiots planned this together," he said, starting to take the boxes one by one, setting them down on the side of the road. "Their boss would have never agreed to this. They aren't part of some gang either. We take the money, leave the boxes here and we go."
"What if they come after us?" I said, worried.
"They won't."
"How are you so sure?"
"Once I drop you off, I'll report back to my boss. He'll take care of everything."
Emptying the van of boxes didn't take long when we raced against time. The two morons could wake up at any moment, so we rushed through it as quickly as humanly possible. When all of the boxes were on the side of the road, we hopped back in the van and drove off.
"Put the money in your pockets. Don't let anyone see it, and if anyone does see it and asks, tell them you won it gambling," Cedric instructed.
"Let me give you your half," I said, pulling off the rubber band.
"No. Keep it. There's five grand in there."
"What? Weren't we both getting five?"
"No. You usually split it with your partner, but I want you to have it."
"Why? You did all of the work."
He glanced at me, and just like how he couldn't resist me, I couldn't resist him — especially with those green eyes. "You just saved my life."
"And you saved mine."
"That was nothing compared to what you did."
"We're a team. I'm not going to take all of this money when I've done nothing to earn it."
"Keep it," he urged. "You deserve it after all that I've put you through."
"You haven't put me through anything," I reassured.
"I keep trying to do the right things, but all I ever do is fuck things up." He was talking, but almost like he was talking to himself. He was lecturing himself, putting himself down. "I shouldn't have brought you out here. I know it's dangerous. My entire life is dangerous, yet I keep inviting you in. You're too young to die by my recklessness."
I grabbed his hand in a caring way. "You're too hard on yourself."
"Not hard enough," he muttered, letting me hold his hand even if it was a little gay. "I don't know why you don't say no. You're smart enough to understand what's going on, but you're still risking it all."
"To be fair, I don't have much to lose."
"I'm not even honest with you," he continued, listing the reasons why he was such an awful person. Sarcasm included. "You have to force it out of me. I'm usually good at keeping things to myself, but not when it comes to you."
"Sounds like you like me," I said, grinning as my fingers connected with his.
There it was again, the Cedric who refused to let out his true emotions. He was holding it back, and it was painful to watch.
"I know what you're thinking," he said, stopping the car in the middle of nowhere. "And I know you've wanted me to say it. I know it was obvious when we were at the bar and you asked me if I were gay. I don't mean to make it that obvious, but fear kicks in."
"Fear?"
He pulled his hand away and looked out the window, at the bright lights beaming at the sky.
"I'm gay," he said quietly. "I'm gay, but I've never been proud of it."
I gulped at how serious this was. "People in our community go through it in different ways, but it's never your fault that you're different. Being different doesn't mean bad."
"I know, but I was raised around people who made it feel like it was worse than getting cancer."
"Oh."
"My mother died when I was young, and she wasn't all that great. She loved me and my sister, but there was so much wrong. She wasn't happy and it showed. And then when she died, strangers took care of us until we were old enough to take care of ourselves."
"The story your sister—"
"It wasn't some break through in my sexuality," he said, looking disturbed as his face changed at the memories. "It wasn't consensual, but she doesn't know that."
"What? Cedric—"
"Don't say you're sorry," he said quickly. "I don't want to hear that bullshit."
"Is that why you left?"
"Yeah. It still hurts thinking about it, but I don't want my sister to know the truth, because I know that it will hurt her just as much. Her version has at least one true thing —my mom almost did kill the guy."
My mouth wanted to stay shut, but speechless was the last thing I wanted to be right now. Cedric was opening up completely to me, and the stories that were coming out of his mouth, horrific or not, were letting me in to the real him, and he kept all of this inside for years and years, never having anyone to trust.
"Is this why you're not happy with being gay?" I wondered.
"There are a lot of reasons, but meeting you has challenged all of them."
I swallowed again. "It's hard, but I know you'll get through it."
"You know what's the worst part?" I shook my head at him. "I feel like I didn't grow up because of it. I didn't experience what most people have. I never got to ask my crush out, or dance with him at prom. I never got to lose my virginity with the gender I'm actually attracted to. I've never even been in love."
"The first two aren't that important, I guarantee you that."
"I tense up when anyone talks about gay things," he said, shuddering. "When I was younger, I saw these men beat up a helpless gay guy because he talked funny."
"People are shit, period," I stated. "Women fear walking alone at night, black people suffer endless harassment and injustice for simply being black, a woman wearing a hijab will be tormented for it when it has nothing to do with them. Fear comes in many ridiculous ways, and it's never fair. Your fear is valid, and it's okay not to be okay, but know that it's never too late to start loving yourself."
"Are you going to teach me?"
"I'm not the best teacher, but I'll do anything for you."
He started driving again, laughing. "Are you happy I said it?"
"Said what?" I joked with my serious look, which he fell for.
"That . . . I'm gay."
"I'll be happy when you say it because you're proud to be."
"That's fair."
"Yup, so get to work."
I picked up my phone and checked the messages. Dorian was blowing up my phone, and there were two other messages from two very different people. I responded to Dorian, letting him know I was on my way home and to stop being a little bitch, then I replied to Chance's long message about healing rocks, then lastly, Elijah's new text message just now.
"So, like I was saying about my unfortunate lack of experiences," Cedric began, sounding incredibly nervous out of nowhere. Since he was driving, I didn't look at him as he talked, expecting nothing too serious. And as I read the text message from Elijah and heard Cedric at the same time, I swore I had died and this was just an illusion created by heaven or hell to torment me one last time.
They coincidentally asked me out on a date, at the same time.
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[Author's Message]: WAH! I'm sorry to end it on a cliff hanger like that! I hope you guys liked this chapter and left me so much love everywhere. Things are getting real, like deadly real, and soon its going to get worse, HAHAHAHAHA. This chapter is only the beginning <3 If you guys have any questions or feedback, pls give. I will reply to all that I can. Again, thank you for the incredible support you guys have been giving me on this book, it makes me so happy. <3 (Btw, Elijah will get his moments very soon, too much of him will be coming, hehehehe)