Song for this chapter: Phases by PrettyMuch
I can't believe I did it.
My heart beats erratically in my chest as I stand there, their eyes on me.
I told them.
My mouth is dry and I snake my tongue around the inside.
They all know.
Mrs Hedge, one of my favourite teachers at school, gives me encouraging smile.
It's done.
I can feel a bead of sweat dripping down the back of my neck.
When I started, my voice was soft, quiet, intimidated. But then I remembered I'm Callum fucking Browning and no one is going to make me feel intimidated.
The silence is thick in the air as my voice grows stronger and louder with each word.
I don't hold back when I describe what Guy did to me. Their faces mirror the horror I knew they would.
"Coming out is the most terrifying thing I've ever been through," I conclude, staring directly into our principal's eyes. "We shouldn't have to fear coming to school and getting beat up because of who we love. Having Jake there, defending and protecting me was the only thing that got me through. And now he's being punished far worse than the person who started it all. I know it's easy to think the worst of people when they've had terrible pasts. You expect them to be bad people. But that's not how life works. Because Jake got dealt a bad hand, doesn't make it right that he should be forever punished for it. He's the hero in this story and he deserves to be treated like one."
I distinctly remember the silence that followed my words, before the murmuring began.
The kind words, the reassuring hands on my shoulders, even one teacher gave me a hug.
"You're a brave young boy," Mrs Hedge smiles at me.
"If you don't stand up for what you believe in, nothing will change," I tell her.
"You're very wise for your age, Callum. I'll remember this when recommending you to university and internships in the future."
She touches my arm briefly, before moving back to where the rest of the teachers are sitting.
I'm excused after that.
And now, we wait.
***
Jake's POV:
"I love you."
I hear his words. They're so clear in my mind it's like he's shouting it at me again, this very second.
It was such a monumental moment and I turned my back on him.
I could barely see straight, let alone think, after seeing Rhett and him. I wanted to strangle that innocent-looking smirk straight off Rhett's face.
I hope I'm doing the right thing. I love him so God-damn much. I don't want to lose him but this shouldn't be so hard.
Exhaling, I look to my phone. I stare at the photo I have of him, that he didn't know I took. He's lying on the mattress at Haze's house, his arm tucked behind his head, a peaceful smile on his face and the white sheet crumpled across the lower part of his body.
He is the most beautiful boy I've ever seen.
Not seeing him or talking to him has got to be the worst thing I've ever endured. I miss him like I miss air when I'm underwater. It's a feeling so utterly consuming I'm afraid it really might kill me.
Not being with him has made me realise how much I want him. Need him.
I roll to my side and stare at my phone. Every night at around nine p.m, he texts me. I wait for it. My heart jolts when my phone lights up.
Callum: I love you.
I press my phone to my chest and smile.
***
After spending most of my days working, when the school rang me to let me know they've decided to let me back in on a 'good behaviour' bond, I must admit I'm excited to postpone the 9-5 work-life.
It's been a couple weeks since I was at school but it feels so much longer than that. Not seeing or talking to Callum has been excruciating.
During my time to myself, I've decided to work on three goals. My work life, which seems to be fine. My diet (still working on working vegetables or salads into at least one of my meals per day) and exercise. I've decided running every morning is going to become a part of a routine for me now.
I've been to counselling a lot during my time off school and I feel like I'm finally sorting my shit out. Mentally. It's going to be a long road but I'm on the right track.
There's just one, final thing to overcome...
"Hey Jake," Grant greets me before letting out a nasty-sounding cough.
"Glad to hear you survived the night," I say as I sit back in my chair and wait for my coffee.
"Barely," he sighs. "What's up?"
"I need you to hype me up."
"Okay..." he trails off. "I'm listening."
I draw in a deep breath.
"I'm about to do something insane..."
***
Callum's POV:
"Have you heard anything?" Ed asks me as we lounge around the end of one of the brightly-painted tables in the courtyard.
"In regards to Jake being let back in?" I question. "Nope."
"Hasn't been that long, they must still be deciding."
I shrug. "Don't know."
"Has he spoken to you?" Kat asks, chewing her lip.
"Change of topic, please," I deadpan and rub at my sleep-deprived eyes.
I still can't rest. My mind is in turmoil.
The day is bright, everyone around me is talking and laughing but I feel cold, empty and alone. All I want to do is go home and curl up in my bed.
"The pain will ease eventually," Kat says to me with a gentle squeeze. "I promise."
I force myself to smile at her. She means well but I see no light at the end of this tunnel. I wish he never came back and I never experienced this.
The entire football team is perched on the opposite end of the table, grappling with each other and throwing jokes around. I envy their easiness. It seems crazy that six months ago I would have been standing there, doing the same thing. No secrets, no heart break, no him.
What a boring life you'd be living, a voice whispers in my mind.
"Holy shit," Ed blurts suddenly, his eyes widening scarily big behind his glasses.
"Oh," Kat says softly.
I slowly turn and my heart catapults into my throat. Jake strolls through the gates with effortless swagger only he can pull off. He's dressed in black ripped jeans, a leather jacket and dark shades over his eyes. He looks intoxicating.
"Fuck," I breathe as I watch him.
I can't handle this.
Slowly, he pushes his glasses back into his hair, his eyes roaming the courtyard. People stop to stare. Whispers burn across people's lips like wildfire.
His eyes land on mine and everything inside my body electrifies.
It feels like all the wind has been knocked out of me. Time slows. Everyone around us melts into nothing. His lips twist into a taunting smile as he strides towards me.
With my legs like jelly, I push myself to my feet. Every single pair of eyes are on us right now. I can feel the heat of their stares.
A look of determination washes over his face before he encloses his hands around the sides of my face and kisses me. Time stops. It has to. Because Jake Haze is kissing me in front of the entire school and I cannot deal.
I kiss him back. It's short, heated and fuelled with a massive amount of built-up tension.
"I love you," he gives me a crooked, breathless smile. "And you better be fucking happy now."
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Thoughts?