"It's so nice to have everyone together again," Jean said.
"We're not enough for you?" Opal teased.
"Yes, but Charlie and Adesh haven't been back in forever!"
"Who else are we missing tonight?"Charlie asked, seizing an opening.
"Yeah, is Pam coming?"
At Martin's blunt assist, Charlie cracked his knuckles and wondered how his assault trial would play out in court.
"Pam said she would try to come but she's producing a talk show in Leeds and she wasn't sure she could get away," Jean said.
"Oh? Which one?" Charlie asked, only to have the moment hijacked by Calvin.
"How do you know Pam?" he asked Martin, a quizzical look on his face.
"I got the scoop on everyone on the trip up," Martin said. "There's someone called Cherie too I think, isn't there?"
Oh no you don't, thought Charlie, purely as retaliation. "I'm surprised I haven't seen Eric yet. Is he here tonight?" Charlie had already explained to Martin how Eric Saxon and his real estate-wealthy family owned the club and were invested in practically every business in town.
Opal, again with those flashing eyes, looked away for just a moment and then back to Charlie as though convinced to confide a secret. "He has meetings with business partners in Singapore often. He's going to try to be back for the anniversary party."
The mention of Singapore clued Charlie in. "Great. Didn't I hear that he was married to Graham's little sister Mary?"
Though Mary had not mentioned the controlling ex by name, the uncomfortable squirming of all but Adesh confirmed it.
"It's complicated," Opal said.
"They're trying to work it out," Rose added.
"It's always complicated," Adesh laughed, swinging an arm around Charlie's shoulders. "Let me get my wife over here."
"Oh leave her alone!" Opal and Rose groaned while Lennox and Calvin tried not to laugh together.
"You all know nothing about it," Adesh said, searching the crowd with his eyes. He found his wife circling a buffet of finger foods unhappily with a scarcely filled plate. "Sweetie!" he yelled. "Come!"
The woman in a deep purple shirt gave him the dirtiest look. She then snapped something at their three young children - the only children at the party - and began a deliberately slow shuffle over to Adesh and the group. She tossed her waist-length black hair over her shoulder and stared more daggers into her husband.
"She is pee-yissed!" Adesh said through smiling teeth. "Watch this."
His wife's dragging sandals flipped their final flop and a pained half-smile fought its way to her face. His daughters and son, on the other hand smiled genuinely at their old man as they continued dancing goofily and chasing each other around their mother's legs.
"Charlie, this is my wife, Dimple, our daughters Hansa, Keya and our son Das."
"Nice to meet everyone," Charlie said.
Suddenly, Dimple's smile was warm and bright. She reached out her hand, a dozen fine gold bracelets swinging at her wrist, and greeted Charlie with a honeyed voice that imitated sincerity brilliantly. "Hello, Charles. Such a lovely evening meeting Adesh's childhood friends."
Because he assumed that she, like her husband, was a vegetarian, Charlie looked at her sad plate of food and said, "I hope there are enough options for you over there."
"Oh, sure," Dimple said with a pretty, lying smile. "There's fried rice and an attempt at samosas so we are good. Not like the samosas that would have been at Rad's wedding, but a deal's a deal."
Adesh tagged in. "We've spent the last seven vacations in India going to Dimple's family's weddings. This year as soon as I got this invitation, I called dibs."
"So what if no one ever thought my cousin would get married and now he's marrying Miss Mumbai's sister? It's not like it will be the biggest party of the year."
"Second biggest after some Bollywood princess," Adesh said. Dimple smiled sarcastically."What?" he asked, shrugging innocently. "I said you could go!"
"And drag this lot by myself through two airports?" she said, keeping their youngest from belly-bumping his sister with a steadying hand on his head. "I'm sorry I'm not the mother your mother thinks I should be."
"I love you," said Adesh with a ridiculous grin.
"You're damn right, you do." Dimple looked at Charlie again. "So generous of your school to invite spouses. My aunt might forgive me when I show her the pictures."
"Geeta Mausi will never forgive Bapi though, will she kids?"
"You're toast," his son Das said through the mischievous gappy grin of a five year old.
"Okay, you can go now," Adesh said releasing Dimple from show and tell.
"Mm-hmm," she mumbled with eyes which would clearly love him again after she was finished hating him. She permitted him to kiss her cheek before excusing herself and shuffling away.
"She wants to MURDER me!" Adesh laughed, shoving an elbow in Charlie's side.
"Stop teasing her," said Opal. "She's been nothing but lovely to us all night."
"You know nothing! I met her at work!"
"You're terrible," said Rose.
Opal addressed Charlie. "See what you bachelors are missing?"
"One victory lap every seven years?" Calvin snorted. Opal pinched his arm for it. "You never got married, Charlie?"
"It isn't for everybody."
"Never say never," Lennox said.
"Actually the trick is to say it often and as loud as you can," said Martin.
"You just haven't found the right girl," Opal said to Charlie.
"About that," Charlie began, ready to get down to the matter at hand. Once again Calvin spoke over him.
"What do you do for a living, Martin?"
"Yeah," said a woman's voice behind them, "and what do you know about heaving bosoms and throbbing manhoods anyway?"
"Quite a lot as a matter of fact," Martin said before turning to see a leggy blonde wearing a tuxedo jacket over a bright pink bandage-dress.
"CHERIE!!!" the group cheered at the sight of Cherie Warner.
"What's the haps, kids?!?" she shouted back, immediately moving in for hugs and kisses with Opal and Rose.
"Have you no shame?" Rose asked. "Your last book was filthy!"
"You read it, didn't you?"
As Cherie grinned opened mouthed, Charlie noticed she had filled the little gap that had once existed between her two front teeth, amplifying the brilliance of an already enticing smile. Her hair was perfectly styled but moved naturally; the make up around her upturned eyes was bold but not severe. Effortlessly sexy and vivacious as ever, one would think she could light up a room simply by winking at the switch.
"Of course I did!" Rose answered.
Cherie had a laugh like a snicker cut short in the sinuses. She turned her attention to the boys. "Adesh!" she said holding up the arm that wasn't carrying her drink as an invitation for him to hug her. As he did she sniffed his neck and "mmm"-ed her approval of his cologne. Next she took Lennox by the chin before kissing him just next to his mouth. Calvin moved in for his hug next but Cherie held him off by squeezing both his muscular arms. Her eyelids fluttered comically. "Cal, you're the only one here without a Dad-bod. I just want to gnaw on this meaty arm like I'm putting notches on a bedpost! Nom, nom, nom!"
The social butterfly next found herself in front of a strange flower in the form of Martin. "Hi," she said.
"Hi," Martin said with a charming smile of his own. A bit shorter than her, he had to look up.
"Hi," she said again, a sultry smirk for Martin this time.
"Back atcha," he said.
"What is this? What's going on?" Cherie asked gamely, tilting her chin up and raising a brow.
"You tell me," Martin said.
Cherie paused, sizing Martin up. "A couple more of these drinks first and we'll see," she said before moving on to Charlie. After a warm hug she said, "Charlie Fine. I never expected to see you here."
"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" Martin said.
Whether Cherie got the old joke or not, she simply closed one eye and shook her head no.
"How are you Charlie? Light as a feather and stiff as a board still? It's good to see your face."
"Yours too."
"Cherie, Charlie was about to tell us why he hasn't found The One," Opal said.
"I found The One," Cherie said, "then I found The Next One, then the next and so on."
Opal brushed Charlie's arm with her hand. "Have you ever read Cherie's books? We've all found ourselves in them."
"Which one am I in again?" asked Calvin.
"Duh! All of them!" Cherie said laughing shamelessly. "You're usually the farm hand or the one night stand. You're like my little midnight snack! But you had a starring role in 'Anya Reborn'. You were the Alaskan hiker."
Calvin's eyes widened and he turned a little red. "That was me?"
"Opal sure wasn't Anya," Rose said.
"I don't mind other women appreciating my man," Opal said proudly. Rose folded her lip and said nothing though she certainly could have. "Besides, I've been a countess twice, a serving wench, a librarian...what else?"
"A mute assassin!" said Cherie.
"Yes! That one was awesome!" Calvin said, his high-fiving hand smacking Cherie's.
"Has Charlie ever been in one of your stories?" asked Opal.
"Sure. Any time there's a scientist or a professor. Though I've never involved you in a tryst."
"Are you saying you can't write what you don't know?" Adesh asked teasingly.
"I wrote you fine, don't you think?"
"My wife got a big kick out of it, thanks. But you don't think you could see Charlie as a poolboy?"
"No. But I will say, and I hope this doesn't embarrass you, Charlie, that I have it on good authority that our man here knows how to show a girl a good time. A very good time, as a matter of fact."
"Who?" Charlie said, smiling with curiosity.
"Una Nordstrom."
Charlie said nothing, only let his smile grow wider.
"But Una's not one for juicy details, and none of the stuff I imagine seems to stick. I can't figure out your kink, Charlie. That's my problem."
"Maybe he doesn't have one," Lennox ventured.
"Oh, we all have one," Cherie said. "Wanna help a struggling best-selling author out here, Fine, and divulge? Here, in front of all your bestest friends? I'll describe you with massive pecs."
"Believe it or not, Cherie, but it's the main reason I came."
Once again, before Charlie could get to his point his chance was usurped, this time by the arrival of Graham Dear. His boyish features, the round blue eyes, the stub nose, were heavily lined now; his brow especially was markedly creased. His hair and skin were dull in colour and his greeting tone was flat. His presence seemed to suck all the energy out of the room, but whether it was from a general sad-sackery or something more serious was yet unclear. What seemed certain was that the Dear siblings were having a rough go of it.
Jean's shoulder's drooped as she rubbed his arm. "No Claire?" she asked sadly.
"Sorry guys, I tried, but you know."
"How is she?" Cherie asked.
"Not having answers is taking a toll."
"Poor her," Rose said."Her father missing the whole summer, people suspecting an accident or a heart attack. Who just wanders off in the middle of the night?"
"No body?" Martin asked.
"There are wolves around these parts," Calvin said.
"There's no reason to think he left town?" Charlie asked.
"And leave Claire and the maple farm?" Rose said.
"The farm's in rough shape guys," Graham said. "This beetle infestation is killing all the trees. If she can't get them under control, she'll lose the business."
"What sort of beetles?" Charlie asked.
"Asian longhorns."
"Not ambrosias or boxelder bugs?"
"I'm in landscaping, Fine."
"But not an arborist or entomologist?"
"Longhorns. We had them tested," Graham insisted, irritated.
"Calvin is really on Chief Creed to figure this out. They're going to consult with OPP," said Opal.
Calvin sighed, "We'll see. If he can't come up with anything, most likely."
"But what do we all think of Claire's partner leaving just as all this hits the fan?" Rose asked.
"Claire was always highly suspicious to me," Opal said.
"You think Claire had something to do with it?" Charlie asked alarmed.
"No, the other Claire."
"Claire's partner Claire," Calvin tried to clarify.
Charlie watched Graham's face harden.
"Claire's a little bit lesbian now and her girlfriend, Claire, just left her," Jean said.
"I don't know how she's doing it," Rose said.
A sad silence befell the group. On the wall above the bar a slideshow of school yearbook pictures was being screened. A photo of the football team caused a wave of shouting, "Mighty Messengers!" to which Lennox responded with a booming, "Go Strikers!" It was enough to lift the mood.
"How's your sister, Graham?" Charlie asked, feeling, for some reason, he wanted Graham's side.
"Fine. Why?" There was a slightly accusatory tone in Graham's answer. No shame, no sympathy. Either Mary Dear was the most skilled liar Charlie had ever met or her brother had not a care in the world for her circumstances.
"Isn't it the sort of question you ask at these things?"
Another picture was above the bar now, this one a scene from the school production of 'My Fair Lady.' Pam Noble as Eliza Doolittle sat unhappily behind her box of posies with various other students dressed for the market scene. Charlie stared perhaps a moment too long.
"Shame she couldn't come," he said.
"The one that got away?" Cherie teased.
"Since you bring it up," Charlie began to say, but a song began to play that got Cherie very excited.
"Oh man, I love this song! I love you guys too, but mama needs a refill and she needs to dance!"
"On it!" Martin said, and with a Cheshire's grin at Charlie he left to follow Cherie to the bar.
Calvin and Opal bowed out next citing their responsibility to circulate and were shadowed by Graham. Rose and Lennox took the opportunity to wordlessly wander off and seek other company while Sweet Jean looked guilty for excusing herself to scream and slide towards another pair of former students just entering the hall. Charlie now stood alone with Adesh who looked at Charlie like he wanted to laugh.
"What?" Charlie asked.
"You're still trying to figure who kissed you in the closet, aren't you?"
"YES!!! For the love of God, Adesh, put me out of my misery! Who was it?"
"Brother, if I could, I would. No one went into that closet. What kind of investigator are you ?"
"I'm telling you, someone did."
"Then one of us was higher than we thought."
"Think you could've been?"
"I didn't mean me." Adesh let his laugh fall flat when he saw Charlie's frustration. "I don't know. Maybe someone was already in there."
Charlie said, "Hmm," mulling the plausible theory over before almost entirely dismissing it. "Who would've had time or room to hide in the closet before the game and how would they have gone unnoticed the entire time?"
"You've got to get over it, man," Adesh said.
"Sure, I know. I just hate puzzles I can't solve."
"Oh yeah? Well let's see if you can figure this one out."
Adesh held up his phone for Charlie so he could see the last text from a Dimple which consisted of four emojis: a knife, an eggplant, a gravestone and a heart.
******
At the bar, Cherie tossed her hair flirtatiously, staring at Martin who was trying to get the attention of the bartender.
"So what's your deal, Martin? You up to no good?"
"I'm on vacation."
"Does that mean you're going to be well behaved or that now you don't have to be?"
"It means I have free rein. What are you drinking?"
"Tequila. Tromba Blanco. No ice."
"No chaser?"
"I don't need to be chased. I'm on vacation too."
"I wouldn't mind," Martin said, as seductively as he could. He ordered her drink and a beer for himself, paid and tipped the bartender.
"Uh-uh," Cherie said placing her hand on Martin's shoulder and drawing him closer to her. "You and I are going to dance first. If you can't dance, you're no good for anything else."
"Wait right here," said Martin confidently.
For a mere twenty dollars, Martin was able to bribe the DJ into playing his song of choice, the punk-funk-disco-rocker, Reasons To Be Cheerful Part. 3 by Ian Dury and The Blockheads. It took the DJ a moment to find it, giving Martin enough time to get back to Cherie and demonstrate his intention to dance her around the room with his bottle of beer shoved behind his belt in the back of his pants.
"If you say so," Cherie said, daringly doubtful as the opening cowbell-accompanied refrain of, 'Why don't you get back into bed?' began to play. Martin immediately took the lead and glided Cherie into the middle of the dance floor with a little more room to move now thanks to partygoers who did not yet know what to make of the song.
They danced a sexy, improvised Hustle, Cherie throwing her head back and laughing on a spin and then returning to Martin, foreheads bowed, full eye-contact, seduction in full swing. Martin was inspired by the first saxophone bridge to dance Cherie outside on the terrace, and though the music grew fainter, they decided to go for broke and descend opposite stairways a few feet apart to join together on the golf green for the full movie musical effect.
The few smokers on the terrace smiled and whistled. Cherie squeezed Martin's butt for the benefit of the spectators and Martin felt the hairs on his arm and the back of his neck stand on goose-bump commands. In hindsight, perhaps Martin did hear the muzzled boom of thunder which sounded somewhere in the distance, but without rain to distract him from the tantalizing sight of Cherie now dancing a few feet apart from him, no alarm bells warned them to head back inside.
ZAP!
The sky ripped apart. A branch of white lightning splintered through Cherie mid-meringue and she was thrown so forcefully face-first into the ground that she blasted the putting green without so much as a limb bent to break her fall. Startled, Martin fell backwards, rocking on his bottom with bent knees before planting his feet on the ground with his head hanging back between splayed elbows.
Screams from the terrace called everyone from inside. The first panicked guest to reach Cherie turned her over and immediately began administering CPR. Hundreds of plea-filled 911 calls were made and as operators ordered all but assisting persons to stay sheltered inside, Charlie rushed to Martin's side. He'd managed to raise himself to a seated position, trying to blink away his limited mobility due to shock, and found Charlie checking him over for burns with a face full of concern and relief. The woman pumping Cherie's chest looked disheartened for her labours. "She's already gone," she whispered more than once.
Martin's mouth hung open as he looked on in disbelief. Cherie's heart had stopped beating and would beat no more.
"My God, Martin," Charlie said. "You could have died!"
Martin's brow scrunched painfully. He reached behind him and pulled the warm, unbroken beer bottle from the back of his pants and handed it to Charlie, still stunned.