Author's Note: Here's how I had hoped EK 49 would have progressed. So this is alternative reality and yet keeping in theme of EK's finale.
Sanem has just overheard Can talking with Aziz about his feelings. He says it's not just his mind but also his heart that is unable to recognize Sanem.
Sanem walks away shattered, as expected, and is very brokenhearted, also as expected. But what can she do?
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Sanem Aydin
Mhriban-Abla hears me out when I say that I'll give up on Can Divit and not chase after him. She asks me to be patient as he's had a bit of a shock and is recovering from it. As the night progresses, I rationalize with her viewpoint. Considering how the bad accident was, am I also so so so very glad that he survived? Could I ever live in a world where Can Divit doesn't exist?! I simply couldn't, that would've killed me and I'm forever grateful that he is still with me!
For all the man that he is, when it comes to me, he's always at my doorstop no matter the adversity. I know Can's secrets, his fears, his desires, his peeves, how he accentuates his voice and the inflections when he speaks to me, the way his face softens when he sees me, how he's aroused when he smells my kokun, the way he holds me in his arms, how he kisses me passionately and definitely how he ardently loves me... all of it!
Has he been delayed in declaring his love? Always!
Has he ever denied me his love? Never!
So we're on the same journey again.... delayed declaration of love but there's no denying his love! I'm sure what the mind forgets, the heart will remember. And uffff.... his body.... don't I know that he's attracted to me on an existential, basest and neanderthal level!?!
I know him, truly know him, his heart, mind, body, spirit and his soul... and I'm the only one he's ever loved!
This is Can Divit, my Can, Caan... we're CaNem .... and I know for a fact that he loves me irredeemably, irrevocably and forever!
.....
Can Divit
I've been talking about Sanem with Baba. To me, she is a girl that I met 3 days ago!
Baba counsels me that the pre-amnesia Can would be very upset for even thinking that and adds that I would regret leaving her if ever the memories revert in the future. He asks me to hold Sanem's hand for life and to search the depths of my heart for my one and only, my true soulmate!
....
Day 4
The team made the marketing pitch successfully to the WomanArt folks and I'm surprised to see how far everyone has come along in the last 2 years! This is now a power team, even with the contortion with Arthur Capello, and I'm wondering if I'm needed at the office today.
I walk out of the cottage and find Sanem waiting for me. She looks eager, enthusiastic and almost enterprising! Oh... something's up, I know it!
"Caan...... Good Morning!" she greets me in her unique amorous tone. Before I can respond, she continues as follows.
"Emre-enişte is taking care of the Arthur Capello situation..... I trust it'll all work out great."
I pause for effect and she continues.
"I'd like us to spend the day together... just you and me!".
I say "Okeay.....", reluctantly but my heart starts to beat a bit faster!
She walks me to the parking lot and says loudly "Surprise!!"
Parked there waiting for me is a Harley Davidson Trike Motorbike! She's a classic, one of the loves of my life... and I absolutely enjoy riding her! How would Sanem know.... of course she knows! I should stop asking these questions.... and go with the flow! "Be like Water..." whispers Bruce Lee's voice inside my head.... and so I do!
Getting a motorbike is how far Sanem's expertise seems to go! She even needs help putting on the helmet and I'm weirdly amused and turned-on by her maladroitness! Sanem climbs on board but is not holding onto me. Why? I wonder. One look at the rear-view mirror and realize she's wordlessly asking for permission. I take her hands, wrap them around me and ask her to hold onto me!
"Take me anywhere you want to go...." she bellows over the road noise. I draw a blank and pause and she continues "Let's go to Ağva!"
We've been on the road about an hour and Sanem's been talking to me all along the way, pointing to birds, people, objects of interest and general conversation about where I have traveled. We stop for brunch at a restaurant and the banter continues and flows very naturally! She's such a foodie and she picks food from my plate as though she has always done it! Strangely again, I don't mind sharing my food with her..... and seeing her eat heartily fulfills me. I learn that, even after all the success of her novel, she had not traveled beyond Turkey. Why? I wonder!
OH.MY.GOD.... While we are at brunch, she had already planned an early dinner. As we near Agva, she asks me to take an exit along the way to make our way to a restaurant that has the best Sardines she's ever tasted! Wow... that's high praise indeed and I'm excited! This girl loves food.... and that's part of the appeal, I tell myself!
We've taken an odd route to get to the restaurant as we reach a dirt road. Sanem seems to know where we're going and she encourages me to proceed. About a mile into the road, we hit a pothole and are stuck in the mud!! Sanem had been very quiet for a while now.... and seeing us breakdown, her face lights up in a strange way as though she's having the greatest pleasure at our predicament!
She tells me that there's a hotel nearby and that they can retrieve the motorbike. We meander along a forest path which is very familiar to her and she picks wildflowers along the way! We make our way to the hotel and she suggests biking to the rocks before getting dinner. We sojourn to the rocks and she asks me if I know the story of the Lady of Rocks. Of course not, I tell her and she shares a sad yet lovely fairy tale of a maiden who's waiting for her lover to return! The story makes me somber... and we both quietly make our way back to the restaurant!
As promised, the restaurant serves the best Sardines I've ever tasted.... not just that they are really delicious but also because I'm being finger-fed by this gorgeous girl! WOW.... I'm dumbstruck at her spirit... and love for me!
The return journey is very quiet as we both have become introspective and I suspect that she is tired, probably dozing off on me! I ensure that she is enveloped around me like an iron grip... God Forbid, we're in another accident! She is asleep.... and I don't have the heart to wake her up. I strategically unseat her from the bike and carry her into the cottage!
OH.MY.GOD.... Relaxed in sleep, she takes my breath away.... she is truly beautiful, inside and out.... and I can't believe she is in fact all mine!
....
Day 5
I wake up eager in the morning to see Sanem and look forward, like an excited child, to see what she has planned for us today! Would I be disappointed if she has no plans for us? What if she shows up and is not interested? OH Well.... I'll make plans today for us if that is the case!
Nope, she doesn't disappoint me as I see her approaching me with a big cooler in her hand! WOW.... I can't explain the relief and reprieve I feel at seeing her!
"Let's go camping by the sea", she suggests and adds "And overnight too!", shyly. For the first time I wonder, with a pounding heart, have I made love to her?
OH.MY.GOD.... that would be a hard thing to forget, I tell myself with a chuckle!
Off we to go to a beach camp and realization hits me that she can neither cook nor camp! WOW.... she has trouble setting up the tent. Then she has trouble setting up the fire-pit.... and my level of amusement rises at her in-adeptness! I assure her that I'll take care of it.... per usual I'm guessing, and she entertains me by chatting away!
If there is one person in the world that loves and drinks Chai more than me, it is her! It is the one thing she can make and she's really awesome at it! The Chai made with her hands smells and tastes so amazing... almost awakens my spirit!
I'm half-way through her book, our book, and I'm totally amazed at her talent for storytelling. She talks about Artemis and Orion, spots and identifies the stars, eats anything I make for her heartily and is so so so full of energy and life!
There is never a dull moment with her... oh well, yes, only when she sleeps! And I watch her fall asleep trusting and safe, childlike, and I can't help but cocoon her in my arms. I ensure that she's bundled up in blankets... and me so she doesn't get cold at night!
OH.MY.GOD.... she talks in her sleep and that is so adorable! I can't make out most of what she says.... something about the ocean, stars and fire but I listen intently anyways!
"Caan", she says crisp and clear, in her sleep... and her face forms an effervescent and angelic smile! I'm speechless, breathless and powerless over her.... and yet feeling powerful and so connected to her!
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Day 6
Today is a new day and I can't wait to find out what she has planned for us. Since we were camping yesterday, we got back a bit late.... but not before brunch at a restaurant by the bay! WOW.... this girl is hungry, all the time, like all the bloody time, exactly like me.... and she's very uninhibited around food!
I finally pick up the courage to ask her why she has not traveled around the world on a book tour. Her answer shocks me into the oblivion.
"Caan.... you said you'll take me around the world" ..... "I've been waiting for you!"
In that moment, I experience an indecipherable feeling that I've never felt ever before! It is more potent than when Huma left, when Baba suffered, when I missed Emre, when I had no sense of family and it's nothing I've ever experienced! It's a sense of loss at wanting to be someones.... and that someone wanting you, wholly, fully and irrevocably... but not realizing those feelings for her!
"But you do recognize it...." whispers a voice in my head. "Just reach for her.....", it urges! Sanem has seen my expression change and she's now prodding me, concerned by my pained silence!
I reach for her hands across the table and hold hers in mine! Silently she gives herself to me and tears start to form in her eyes... tears of joy, I think and that makes me ecstatic with joy!
To lighten the mood, I ask her "Sanem Aydin.... what's the plan for today?"
"I'll take you to a very special place!" ...... "You'll love it!", she says and glows with affection!
...
It's late afternoon and she asks me to drive to Besiktas. I know the area well as we used to live there when I was younger. Oh wait a minute.... could I have taken her there? Of course, I took her to our old home, my secretive and most favorite hangout in Istanbul!
I park outside the dilapidated property and she asks me to take her inside. I climb over the gate and open the door for her. We both saunter into the property and she seems to be very familiar with the grounds. She walks to my particular spot on the deck and asks me if I can listen to the voices of Istanbul!
OH.MY.GOD.... I can actually believe that I shared that part of myself with her! If I brought her here, she actually had managed to pierce through my defenses and peer into my heart, mind and soul!
She asks me to close my eyes and whispers "What do you hear?" in my ear. Her breath tickles me and I try to reach for her. But I hear her moving away as the leaves rustle beneath her feet. "Hmm... Caan..." she encourages. I tell her I hear birds, squirrels, a ship's horn, children playing nearby.... and suddenly she's back with me, standing close enough that I can feel her.
"Caan" ... "Caaan" ... "Can" ... "I love you very much" ... "I love you more than I love myself!"
As she says the words, she holds my face in her hands, I open my eyes and her face fills my vision! Her cheeks are wet with tears but the conviction, credence and the crescendo of her words ring crystal clear to me!
...
When she gains control over herself, she suggests that we go to the rocks by the bay. We drive in usual silence and end up, I'm guessing here, in what is our usual spot, yet again!
Sanem can't hold in her thoughts anymore and she blurts out her question. "So do you remember anything about me at all?"
Oh well... what can I say to her? More importantly, how can I tell her I don't remember her at all from the past?
I met you 6 days ago and I'm well on my way to falling madly in love with you?!
How can I tell her that she's everything I want, covet and heart in a woman?!
As I'm formulating my words and choosing the right tenor, she suddenly gets very mad at me for forgetting her.... and I can't blame her one bit! She's walking away from me and I remember Baba's words of wisdom! If I let her go now, I won't be able to win her back.... I become certain of that fact more than anything in life!
"Sanem" ..... "SaNem" .... "Sanem" ... I call after her and close the distance between us, real and metaphorical!
....
Day 7
I promised Sanem at the rocks that it's now my turn to plan our dates and she reluctantly capitulates to my request!
I plan a getaway for us to a nearby island that is accessible only by a jet ski! She'll be riding with me, we'll swim in my ocean playground, I'll fish and cook for her and we'll spend the day relishing each others company!
When the moment is right, I'm hoping to tell her that I'm on a new journey of falling in love with the same woman... for the second and hopefully finally and forever!
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Author's Note: Here's the thing and no hating me for saying it!
Sanem owns Can body, heart, mind and soul! EK 49 could've been sooo much better if they had portrayed her in a confident, pragmatic and romantic way to make him fall in love with her! The non-story, lack of plot, abysmal dialogue, schizophrenic editing and awful acting (Demet was awesome at the end) - it's all a colossal cluster!
I speculate that Can Divit will take only 7 days to fall in love with her! Seven days to Nirvana!
......
I love love love this scene from "50 First Dates"! Lucy suffers from memory loss and repeats her day over and over again! But she remembers Henry in her subconscious memory!
Inspired by the fierce song and lyrics of Rihanna ::
Dear Arkadaşlar,
I hope you enjoyed this part as much as I loved writing it !!! I'd love to hear your thoughts, whether you liked or disliked this story! Please vote, like, comment and support!
As always, I'm grateful for your time!
Xoxo, DR 💗